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September 23, 2007
I now relax the controls Iíve imposed on that chaos. Let it seethe, I donít have to worry about it.

Iíve finally released the pressure itís taken to keep the doorway to my most-feared futures closed; the friction of resistance was starting to seriously compromise my structural integrity. My last ten years has been at least partly devoted to a mad inner scramble to avoid some form of destitution. Some of it was not my stuff, for when I entered my relationship, I merged identities to a large degree. I used to be more comfortable with poverty before we met.