read
write
members
about
account

 

datedatememberrandomsearch

February 2, 2008
Ms. Murphy, my prominent browed, bushy-banged, beady-eyded tenth grade “health” teacher pronounces “mastectomy” without the first “t”. I snicker at her ignorance.

“You think it’s funny?” She stares straight at me, her thin lips making her look like a stern Muppet.

“What?”

“You think cancer’s funny?”

“Of course not,” I say. My paternal grandmother had a mastectomy, you stupid fucking cunt. Stop pretending you’re a real teacher and go back to coaching field hockey, where all you need to pronounce is “stick” and “I’m a washed-up never-was whose only joy in life is ogling high school girls in plaid skirts.”