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February 3, 2008
The scrawny kid with bangs hanging down to his glasses shocked our high school with the best “robot” mime/dance any of us had ever seen. Girls who had never given him a second look were now giving him at least thirds, thanks not only to his skill but also his use of Barry Manilow’s “Time In New England”.

Years after graduation, he’s the sexy bad boy “lover” of my best friend, and he’s showing off lean biceps in tank tops. I’m sure the boys in prison loved him after he was sent there for arson of a popular local restaurant.