BY Dreamer

04/01 Direct Link
If I could write everything I thought, I'd probably have a book by now. I have great ideas, really good ones. But by the time I actually do pen them down, they seem to have somehow lost all their awesomeness. And this happens all the time. I honestly wish I had something that recorded all my thoughts without me saying them out loud or without me having to physically write them down. Then all I'd have to do is weed out the crap from the good stuff and voila! I'd have a book. Or two. Or maybe even a hundred.
04/02 Direct Link
I've been thinking. Maybe I should start writing my book again. It's been almost two years since I started it. It seemed to have a lot of potential back then. I had thought out the plot and the characters. But I just got really lazy and stopped. It's about time I gave myself a target and actually got some writing done. Even 100 words daily is becoming a task. If I want to be a writer at some point in my life, I need to focus and learn how to finish what I start. At least most of the time.
04/03 Direct Link
I want to travel the world. See everything everywhere. Be a vagabond. Live the life of different people, speak their languages, eat their food, live their lives. I want to climb mountains, swim with the fishes (even though I don't know how to swim), walk through tiny lanes in the countryside, party in fancy clubs in metro cities. I want to understand their cultures, learn their histories, see their architecture. I want to see it all, breathe it in, live it. Anywhere and everywhere in the world. By myself or with people I love. Can someone just fund me, please?
04/04 Direct Link
Things to do this year:

1. Learn a new language.

2. Learn how to cook.

3. Learn how to swim.

4. Learn how to cycle.

5. Learn how to play an instrument.

Boy, that's a lot of learning I have to do.

6. Travel someplace new.

7. Write more. A whole lot more.

8. Read more.

9. Do something new and interesting.

10. Face a fear.

11. Start a project (anything) and actually see it through.
04/05 Direct Link
There's a boy in my life and I'm always thinking of him. When he's aroound. When he isn't. I want to listen to him talk. I want to sit near him in silence. I want to watch him sleep, hear his breathing get deeper and more laboured as he drifts further away from me. I want to hold his hand, put his strong arms around me. I want to lean against his broad chest and hear his heart beat. I want to kiss his soft lips, run my fingers through his hair. I want to love him. Now and forever.
04/06 Direct Link
Without a doubt, I am in love. I fell in love with him right from the start. I knew then I would always love him. I knew then that if I had to ever spend the rest of my life with someone, it would be him. What made me even surer was the fact that I knew he felt the same about me. He didn't ever hold back about how he felt or what he wanted. But suddenly, I don't know. I know he loves me but how much longer until we take the next step? That I don't know.
04/07 Direct Link
She had it all. She was pretty, smart, funny. She never had any problem making friends. She never had a problem with the opposite sex. She always excelled in everything she tried. People loved her. Her parents were proud of her. Really, she had it all. But something was missing.

He hated his life. His parents were always breathing down his neck. He liked his friends but he knew they weren't good for him. He didn't really like his work. He got laid often, but it wasn't satisfying. He knew he was unhappy.

An unlikely couple?
04/08 Direct Link
He knew he was unhappy but he didn't realise what he was missing out on. Until he met her.

She knew something was missing but she didn't realise how unhappy she had been. Until she met him.

They were so different yet so much alike. They could finish each other's sentences even though they barely even knew each other. They thought the same things were lame. And they both thought those same lame things were funny.

They were like chalk and cheese actually. But they completed each other. They made each other happy.
04/09 Direct Link
They were so happy together. Things were perfect. For a while. Then the fact that they were so different from each other started taking a toll on them. She wanted to dress up, go out, dance and have fun. He didn't like it when other boys looked at her. He wanted to get high. She loved him sober. He got angry when he was drunk, said hateful things to her, made her cry. She would cry herself to sleep at night but hold him close the next morning when he apologised for being a jerk. How long would they last?
04/10 Direct Link
She knew she was good for him, that he needed her. He knew she was the best thing that had happened to him. Both knew they may not be the best together. But neither wanted to end things. They were too much in love.

When things were good, they were perfect. But when they weren't, they got downright ugly. How long would love keep them going? Was this relationship going to last? They said they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together but would they make it?

In times like this, is love enough?
04/11 Direct Link
They had a massive fight. They may not make it through this time. He said she shouldn't be with him. He said she's too good for him. Deep down she knows he's right. Deep down she knows he can destroy her. But she's so in love with him. She wants him to get his act together. She wants him to be a better man. She wants him to be the person she knows he can be, the person she fell in love with. But will it happen? Will they make it through? Will love be enough? Only time will tell.
04/12 Direct Link
They tried to make it work. They really did. But it was becoming increasingly harder to stay strong, to stay together. Their last fight pushed her to the end. He begged her to stay, promised he'd be better. But she knew she couldn't put herself through this any longer. After many tears, some harsh words and much pleading, she called it off. She knew ending this would hurt more than anything but she also knew it was what was best for her. As she walked away, she knew she'd never love another man the way that she had loved him.
04/13 Direct Link
Heartbreak tends to heal with time. She found a man who loved her, always put her first. He didn't smoke, had never done drugs. He was kind and gentle, didn't have a mean streak. He worked hard and didn't complain much about anything. He liked to take her out to fancy restaurants, he loved it when she was all dolled up. After three months of being together, he still hadn't seen her without make up. She hadn't told him about her past, yet she knew all about his. There wasn't much. He was different. It was refreshing. It was easy.
04/14 Direct Link
He got in touch with an old girlfriend. They got drunk together, hooked up, decided it made sense to get back. She didn't mind if he got drunk, if he got high. She got high with him. She didn't care how late he got home, if he didn't call to let her know where he was. She didn't have too many friends, she wasn't too friendly. She didn't get hit on or stared at, she wasn't too pretty. He didn't feel so insecure. He knew he was too good for her. He knew he wouldn't lose her. It was easy.
04/15 Direct Link
Let's call the love of her life A. He needs a name. After all, he'll keep showing up.

She couldn't stop thinking about A. She thought about him when she was asleep, when she was awake. She saw him when she was walking the streets, she heard his voice in cafes. Why did she miss him so?

She was with someone else now. Someone more sensible, someone more mature. She was with someone else now. Someone uncomplicated, someone less dramatic. She was with someone else now. Someone who wasn't so much to deal with, someone boring.
04/16 Direct Link
We need a name for the one he let go. Let's call her B. She wasn't at all like him. She didn't like his druggy lifestyle or his good-for-nothing friends. She wanted him to be a better man. She challenged him, made him think, made him work to have her in his life. It was hard. But now that was all he could think of.

He had moved on. To someone who didn't want him to change. But he just wanted to be the man B wanted him to be. He just wanted to be hers.
04/17 Direct Link
It had been months since they had spoken. Months since they had seen each other. There were times they both sat in their own rooms in their own homes trying to remember the other's touch, the other's smell, the taste of the other's lips. They tried to remember the touch of the other's face, the contours of the other's body. They tried to remember being in each other's arms. Things that seemed so distant, so far away now. They couldn't remember all the details. But neither had forgotten the feeling of love and passion they had felt for each other.
04/18 Direct Link
She ended it with him. She couldn't take it anymore. The niceness, the perfection, the boredom! She hated fighting but she missed being challenged, she missed being made to think. She missed A.

He ended it with her. They had history, sure. But he had broken up with her years ago for a reason. Yes, she didn't mind if he got high or used drugs. But that was it - he didn't really want to anymore. He missed having someone to be good for, to grow up for. He missed trying to be a better man. He missed B.
04/19 Direct Link
They bumped into each other one day. Completely out of the blue. After months and months of not seeing each other. They had pushed each other to the back of their minds. They were always thinking of the other but these were fleeting thoughts. Thoughts of the past, thoughts of the good times they had, the fights. They thought of each other at work, while at work, while doing the most mundane things. They thought of each other and smiled. That's where they had reached. They thought they'd never see each other again. And then they did. Unprepared and how!
04/20 Direct Link
She took his breath away. Again. He had forgotten just how beautiful she was. And she smiled at him. Sigh. Why was she smiling at him? He thought after all he had put her through, she hated him.

She had forgotten how tall and ruggedly handsome he was. And even from this distance, she could smell him, all freshly bathed. She smiled at him. She couldn't help herself. He smiled back. More in relief than anything else, that much was visible.

They walked towards each other. Slowly. Silently. Their eyes locked. Was this a new beginnig?
04/21 Direct Link
'Hi', he said. She wanted to reach out to him and kiss him. She didn't. 'Hi'. SILENCE. 'I'm sorry', he whispered looking at the ground. SILENCE. 'I've missed you', he continued still not looking up. 'I went back to the past, to before I met you. It sucked. Everything sucked. Life without you sucked. Life without you sucks'. SILENCE. He sighed. He couldn't get himself to look at her. 'Come back to me. I want to be the man you deserve. Let me. Please.' Tears rolled down his face. He looked at her. Tears were rolling down her face too.
04/22 Direct Link
Hesitantly he reached for her cheek. He lightly wiped away her tears. She was so soft, so beautiful. He was an idiot for ever letting her leave. Please give her back to me. He prayed. He'd been saying the same prayer for months now. Please, he begged. She hadn't said anything. She hadn't responded to his touch. Would she forgive him? Would she come back to him? He doubted it. He was scared to know the truth. He would be shattered if she said no this time. He knew what he wanted. Her. And then she reached for his hand.
04/23 Direct Link
You'd have never seen a couple more in love. It's in the way they look at each other, the way they talk to each other, the way they laugh at each other's jokes. They're happy together. They have days they don't get along. They still fight sometimes. But, for the most part, they're happy. They know they belong together. They know they complete each other. They know they'd die without each other. And they know, they'll do anything to make this work. It's true, I guess. You only realise what you had till it's gone. And when it comes back.....
04/24 Direct Link
I'm beginning to wonder if I can put down the story of my life in 100 words. Not much goes on in my life, really, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's possible. But I must admit, if I could tell my story in just 100 words, that's pretty damn depressing. I've been around for 26 years. Surely there's a lot that's happened in that much time. Besides, I tend to be very descriptive, so that will definitely consume some more words. All in all, I don't think I'd manage to make 100 words happen. Should I even attempt it?
04/25 Direct Link
Work is good. It's fulfilling, satisfying. I wish I got to write more but it's okay. I'm still pretty close to the creative field and in an interesting, booming industry. There's a lot to learn. Every single day. And the people I work with are wonderful. They're all fun, extremely intelligent, very dramatic and completely nuts. It's what I need to be happy, to be myself. I do seem to have some time to do extra activities, like learn to swim or learn something new online. All I need to do is get my act together and manage my time!
04/26 Direct Link
I'm obsessing over my relationship and how much things have changed from when we started dating. He used to be more caring, more loving, more attentive. Yes, he also used to be a lot more insecure. But everything's changed. He's more detached, more distant, not as expressive. And he's suddenly stopped being insecure. That's great. But I'm wondering why. What changed? Why did it change? Is it him? Is it me? Is this real or was that? I don't have any answers and asking him doesn't really help. Maybe it's just in my head. Maybe not. Love is weird. *sigh*
04/27 Direct Link
I don't think I'm okay with being alone. With being single. I constantly need someone who showers me with love and attention. I'm in a relationship with a man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I know he loves me too. But suddenly, he's got so much going on in his life that doesn't have to do with me. I hate it. It's making me insecure. I want to be the centre of all his attention. I want his life to revolve around me, only me. Why am I being such an attention whore?
04/28 Direct Link
Do I always end up being taken for granted because I'm nice? Am I too understanding and compromising at the start of relationships which then leads to being taken advantage of? I want everyone to like me and people I like, I'll do anything for them. Maybe I do too much. That's what I do. I raise everyone's expectations, build up what they can get from me. And then they want too much, they expect too much.

I don't want that anymore. I want someone to do stuff for me. Anything. Everything. Am I asking for too much?
04/29 Direct Link
There are some days you don't feel like doing anything. No work, no play. Nothing. Today is such a day. I want to curl up in bed and do absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, I feel days like these are creeping up on me more and more often. It doesn't allow me to be productive at all. I wonder how it's possible to snap out of it. I wonder why I feel like this to begin with. I wonder how to change this feeling. I wonder... oh, to Hell with all this wondering! I'm getting into bed and going to sleep!
04/30 Direct Link
I cannot get myself to do this daily. I either don't have the time or I don't remember. Or I just have nothing to write about. I try to think of things - themes, thoughts, ideas - anything. But I'm drawing complete blanks. I've stopped dwelling on the crap that's going on in my life and yes, it has helped. Or so it would seem. But that's also sort of reduced the things that I can write about. Never, in my life, have I been so hard pressed for things to write. It's unexpected and, I must admit, it blows. Majorly.