I would like to take mother to my sister's place.
She has made a new home at Hubballi. She has come on a promotion to this city and has rented a flat.
The house is less than 5 minutes walk from our home.
My mother has to step down about twenty steps from my home.
She has to climb up about twenty steps to reach my sister's place.
In between there is a gradient walk. Making my mother walk?
She is curious. More curious than me.
Why can't take my mother out, as I desire?
She cannot hear. Though she cannot hear, her curiosity is more. What she achieves by her curiosity? She wants to see the new things at the house.
She is scared. Of course her arthritis pain is hell. When she makes up her mind, she is confident and can move about. Who will set her mind?
If I want to reply to her curiosities, I can't make her confident and make her move about. Only she should show us the enthusiasm.
I want to say so many things to my mother. I like it. I feel fine when I have some simple talks with her.
When I say something and when she understands that, it is okay. When I am alone this happens. I tell her only the results. I unnecessarily don't question her.
When I want to tell her something and wife comes barging in, the situation becomes uncomfortable.
My wife doesn't leave us alone. She doesn't think 'let son and mother talk anything, let them enjoy'
Mother is morning sleeper. She was not an early riser even when she was young.
No sooner she gets up, now-a-days she is calling me Ramakrishna. Ramakrishna happens to be my paternal grandfather's name.
She gets up with pain. I console myself: “as we become old, we get up with pain, her pain is more."
She will visit toilet groaning with pain, then brush her two teeth.
She will open the main door to see the kolam (rangoli) done by her daughter-in-law.
Year 2003..... was at my office with an important meeting. My wife called me several times and I was unavailable.
The urgent matter was that a motorcyclist hit my mother near the Saibaba temple on her left leg knee and she was admitted to the Hospital.
My wife had taken her to the Hospital with the help from the chap who had hit my mother.
She has got love for reading words. She used to buy magazines and books when she was working.
Tamil books and magazines. I think her mind is kept in balance due to that reading.
She liked watching movies. She sometimes bunked office, took time from Saturday afternoons and went to movie theaters to see movies.
She had to tell lies to her mother to have this passion to be continued without stop.There were misunderstandings. Her mother expected to do the household duties
My mother was not keen on that.
Sometimes she will shout at my grandmother to leave her alone.
Shouting the frustration.
My mother used to fight with her mother. She wanted to live alone with her kids. She used to yell at her mother whenever grandmother asked her to help in the kitchen works.
In spite of all this our grandparents never left us. These fights at home when we were kids were horrible. Past.
My mother is not good at doing things independently.
When did this Rheumatic Arthritis start? Why didn't we nip the problem at the bud?
It was during 80s that mother took some treatment at a naturopathy hospital at Bengaluru. The hospital was near that Amar hotel, opposite to City Railway station.
Mother had body pains. I was travelling to work which was 70kms away from Bengaluru.
I just used to visit her.
She was hearing then?
I don't remember the past so well.
She was alright after that.
Earning and spending money. My mindset was I should earn and support her.
My mother's story is not that tragedy, but for me it is tragedy - because she is my mother.
In my wife's eyes, it is not a tragedy or a sad story. It is my mother's fate.
My mother thinks good? Why then she spits venom when her desires are hindered?
She can't tolerate the TV channel being changed. What she thinks only she will be telling. Sometimes it is not pleasing for us to hear that.
When all her colleagues could make a house of their own at Bengaluru, my mother did not have that blessings.
She did not have much knowledge regarding savings or practical procedures to make an asset.She will measure the big plot which was opposite to our PWD quarters.
Without thinking much about the future my mother would spend all her money.
Not the lavish spending for bigger things but needs for her children and to her cinemas.
Seeing her physical inability and my great thought of supporting her, I told her to come to my working place taking a transfer from her work or quitting her job.
No, she never gave a thought for my thought and went on her independent way.
She stayed with my younger sister and helped her physically and financially.
At that juncture it was important.
Unlike me and my younger sister, my youngest sister was not healthy.
She had the breathing problem and she was destined to have a partner who was not working for a company or government concern. Yes, past.
I felt bad and helpless with regard to my mother on the following occasions.
1) When I went to her office when she decided to quit her work. The young big boss there said that she was of no use to the organisation. She is deaf and cannot understand things.
2) When I ask my wife to give her the special things which she gives to me, she makes a wry face and has her own reasons treating my mother like that.
3) My mother telling all old stories with no stuff and people giving deaf hear to her thoughts.
It is good to see mum watch the words on TV.
The characters in the serials have a name. The inspector in the serial has his name plate on his uniform.
My mother goes near the screen, keenly registers his name to her mind.
A debate is going on the TV. My mother wants to know the title of the debate. The title will be long. My mother has difficulty in registering that.
My mother's another hobby is writing down the movie titles.
She works hard to write down to write the titles of the movies. She enjoys doing writing.
I feel very much. My mother does not have a house of her own, made from her earnings.
All her colleagues have. Her siblings have.
She talks about old stories about herself. The stories don't have strength. Self pity.
She has earned more. She doesn't have anything of her own. An ID of her own is not there.
I tried to make an Adhar card of her own. I tried to get one bank account for her. Unfortunately her identity card did not come out. Bank account is also not successful.
No card now. No bank account for her.
I have taken the full margin given by the site to complete December batch.
I have not expressed my full feelings about my mother.I shall try to express more when the feelings strike me when writing 100 words on the net as diary.
Now my work is to take my mother to eye hospital to treat her glaucoma and cataract.I have to take care of my mother with all my patience and perseverance.