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BY cgBalu

04/01 Direct Link

Very fine.
I will join the April 2018 batch.
I shall use google keep to write a draft.
Hopefully I should write something good.
A little more than one hundred words.
I am not going to count the words. I think I can stop when I reach 100 words.
It may be an approximate mind work.
When shall I write?
First thing in the morning?
When I find some time during work?
Evening between the time I come back from work and hit the sack?
Any time.
Take the writing to the social tasking site, edit a bit and post.
04/02 Direct Link
Monday and the month beginning (working day) begins with the usual thought: 'why not take some off for a week or at least today.'
No chance. I will be losing my leave if I avail leave. Phone calls will come for this and that. I have to face the same problems with more anxiety when I join work again. It is always better to be present on a Monday. The things may begin in very little quantities. There will be more 'nothing moments'  Still the mind will be set and things will start moving...in the coming working days.
04/03 Direct Link
The gift we sent to daughter and son-in-law...delivered?
Should I track with the courier?
The wish of taking one off is fulfilled today.
I have to tell a minimum of 6 people as to why I take leave.
I have installed an app in my phone. The app asks me one question per day. I should reply to the question. The answers if read after accumulating some sizeable data will help me to know who I am. Let me try this method also to realize me. It will be fun.
I should record some replies here.
04/04 Direct Link
I came to work carrying my lunch box of 'pesarattu' and 'thair sadam'. I had broken the work thread yesterday. Picking up the thread.
The gift has reached daughter's place. I tracked the courier path and seen that, the cover has been delivered. Only when daughter or son-in-law acknowledge over phone the receipt of the same, I will get the full satisfaction of having sent the gift.
Today is son-in-law's birthday and we wished him 'happy birthday' in the morning.
Boring. Don't tell others: "I have taken three rides in the elevator. Going up and down." 
04/05 Direct Link

I would like to tell something more about the story of sending gift in the form of cheques to son-in-law and daughter. It was received by them.
Son-in-law politely refused to take the gift. He said blessings only will do. Daughter may also do so. Daughter also needs only blessings.
I appreciate them. Still, I am not happy because something which I loved to do did not materialize as I thought.
Taking off is better. I am terribly bored at office. The work is not interesting.
What to do. Sometimes things are like that.
God bless.
04/06 Direct Link
Writing about Love in the lust sense.
She likes to have cuddle. A little squeeze. Not so tight. As she lies on my chest, I embrace her, controlling my lust, which is triggered to do the next.
She just puts her hand around me in a soft way. She closes her eyes.
Though I would like to squeeze her tighter, I control myself. She will not like the heavy squeeze or the caresses my mind orders me to do.
I just go with her. A little caress and close my eyes.
No. She likes only the cuddle and not further.
04/07 Direct Link

When writing should I tell what I am writing? Telling consumes some words. What I am going tell may limit the words.
Alright.
Want to write about love and lust
I watched a gif yesterday at Reddit. It was a dog in heat opening a grill door which was bolted with an open lock.
The dog was successful in opening the door. The dog was so enthusiastic that watching it opening the door with single focus was extraordinary.
The dog did all this to mate with his lover on the other side.
This I can relate to my personal life also.
Wink.
04/08 Direct Link
The previous two posts were love posts.
Love and lust are great parts in life and writing them here gave me a bit of elation.
I shall write about romance, now and then and get elation.
Trying to get great happiness within our limitations and resources can be termed as living.
Living is also the restlessness and helplessness we encounter when life takes us to realise the meaning of exhilaration.
I had three chores which I wanted to do this day, were tried. One was great success. The second one 70% success. The third one, hope I will complete. Done!
04/09 Direct Link

Last night I was listening to a discourse. The discourse was about kal-yug. The swami who was giving the discourse was telling about keeping the mind light.
It is easily said to keep the mind 'light'
Looking forward for happenings of a greater measure, secrete some chemicals and the mind automatically calms and nice plans are worked out. But little things makes the mind heavier.
An event or happening  of 'looking forward to' is not available to the mind when getting up.
Nothing much at work. I love to get involved with the team. But the team is berserk.

04/10 Direct Link

It is seven minutes past 6 pm. I took half casual leave today. Wife is going to Tirumala. The train is around 7.30 pm. She declined my offer of dropping her at the station. She will go with other members who are going on a seva pilgrimage to Tirupathi in an autorickshaw.
I did not get her some murruku and dry grapes to her. She declined them too. She did not want her husband to be disturbed.
Okay. Let her journey be fine. I will be missing her in the coming 10 to 12 days.
Let me manage. hmmm
04/11 Direct Link

I was listening to a discourse by V.Krishnan on Srimad Bhagavatham. I made a search for the word 'Purana'
Cosmogony is the (scientific) study of the origin of the cosmos (or of reality itself)
Cosmology is the study of the universe at its largest scales, including theories of its origins, its dynamics and evolution, and its future.
Genealogy the study and tracing of lines of descent.
Cosmic cycle: In Hinduism, since the Puranic age, time has been divided up into cosmic cycles, known as yugas, mahayugas and manvantaras.
legend: a traditional story sometimes popularly regarded as historical but not authenticated.
04/12 Direct Link

Ancient Tales of Followers of the Lord.
The narration on Srimad Bhagavatham is splendid. V.Krishnan explains the meaning of Bhagavatham Purana.
Puranas have five elements.
Talks about the creation of Universe
Tells about the end of universe
Records about the dynasties that ruled during olden times
Details about the happenings and good deed done by the dynasties during a particular period.
The narration also tells about Lord Vishnu who takes various Avatars to establish Dharma.
Puranas are Ancient stories. Still if you read or listen to them, it is relevant to today's world also. 
Bhagavatham - Bhagavanth's itham - Gods grace.
04/13 Direct Link
What does 'perfect body' mean to you?
A perfect body should carry out the functions perfectly. Should have good appetite. Should have the capacity to repair properly in a natural way.
What is the promise you've had to break recently?
Really I have not made any.
What is the most essential item for you?
One small notebook and pen. Sometimes I try to convert my thoughts to words. Sometimes I write to do list, quotes.
What does 'job' mean to you?
When with a stress you say 'job' it is stressful. When you utter 'job' with joy, it is enjoyable.
04/14 Direct Link
Apr 01, 2018 What does 'morning coffee' mean?
The aim is that I should prepare coffee in the morning. If I successfully and consistently do that job as a routine I should consider that I am a successful guy.
Apr 02, 2018 Do you have anything you want to change about yourself?
I feel that, should accept myself as I am. I will be like this. Accepting myself and leaving certain vice would be better.
Apr 03, 2018 What is your ideal type of man/woman?
When I say something in lighter vein, my woman should not take it seriously.
04/15 Direct Link

Going to this and that apps, copying and pasting amidst all other life activities I successfully posted two entries compiling the posts answering the questions at me.time app.
Nice. There should be something extra in life to do know?
Today me.time app asked me to write gratitude journal.
I wrote:
Thanks for giving me this day and writing this.
I am grateful I do things, get up and go whether I like them or not; whether I get good vibes or not.
Gratitude is great. Really great. If the mind goes awry think of gratitude take deep breath.
04/16 Direct Link

Crap thoughts:
My school and college days are over. My career is over. My teeth gone. One day I will be gone.
Thinking this - Worhty?

The mind thinks about son.
He has given his bike for repairs at Bengaluru.
He has not got back the bike so far.
He is worried about that.
What to tell him so that he feels fine?
Repeating that he will get it soon won’t help him.
He will come out of his worries himself.
That’s what is happened to me in life. The same thing will happen to him.  

04/17 Direct Link

Impulse to write. 
I cannot write immediately.
I have to keep the impulse live - keep the thought about which I have to write.
When listening to the story of ‘Narasimha’ there were several impulses.
Hiranyakashipu asks Prahalatha
“Where I can find Vishnu? “Whether I can find him in this Pillar?”
“Yes you can.”
The pillar was hit, Vishnu comes:
Half animal, half man.
The time was not day, not night. Twilight.
It was neither the front of the house, nor the back of the house. It was the threshold.
God killed the demon with his nails, not weapon.    
04/18 Direct Link

Nice to be at home instead of office.
If I painstakingly do that appraisal who is going to get the benefit?
Boss will get the benefit.
My benefit is only the satisfaction of doing that to my boss.
If I am not there, they will get it done from somebody else. They are very good at turning mundane thing into gold. That is why they are bosses.
I will not get any benefit.
My time is over.
No good words from boss or writing any examination is of no use to me.
Relax and enjoy.
That is it for now.
04/19 Direct Link

Hearing V.Krishnan’s Bhagavatham is really fantastic.
There are 28 episodes. Each of 30 minutes duration. I can listen to two episodes. That much patience I am blessed with.
Sometimes I sleep off listening.
V.Krishnan tells about this sleeping off while listening to the narration of Bhagavatham in a positive way.
When do we sleep?
When the mind is very calm.
If our mind is agitated, do we get sleep?
If listening to something and it soothes our nerves to sleep, then what more we need?
The immediate benefit of listening to Bhagavatham we get.
Listen. Divine. Good.
04/20 Direct Link
I cannot write all thoughts. When I am doing something else I cannot obey my thought of writing something. Any why write everything? It is only a vent. And whatever I write, I may not read everything.
Started a new method of tweeting. All tweets for a day will be in a thread. I want to make the thread as far as possible coherent.
A tweet will begin with 'start' and conclude as 'end' - in between all my mundane things.
Coherently note down one thought to write. For other thoughts, let me wait for their recurrence.    
 
04/21 Direct Link
The first ten years of life appears to be long and good. After that, finishing school, getting into job, marriage, having kids, kids growing up to adults everything seems to fly and you age fast. The next years after 10 just fly. It appears to be short.
In Bhagavatham the birth of Krishna at the Jail, he getting transferred to Gokulam and the happenings at Gokulam are described at length. After he attains the age of 10 he is back to Mathura to Kill Kamsa , he marries many women and plays a key role in Mahabharatha. This is narrated short.
04/22 Direct Link

Krishna lived for 120 years.
The first ten years are best.
He was born to Devaki and Vasudeva.
Vasudeva carries little Krishna in a basket crossing flooding Yamuna.
The water was flooding, the water level came to Vasudeva's neck and face level. The basket was over his head.
When carrying the little child, the child was big and his cute lotus feet were outside the basket.
The flood touched the child's feet.
And lo,
The flood receded.
When we touch the lotus feet of the lord, all our worries will recede.
The 10 years of little Krishna are narrated at length.
04/23 Direct Link
Fine. Very Fine. Super Fine.
Got up early. There was purpose. Good purpose.
Prepared coffee. It is instant coffee.
Put on the pant and shirt. (I have to change them tomorrow. Since I was on leave during the last week and did not stir out of the house- I used only one pair during last week)
Drove to Railway station.
Waited for some time and received my dear wife.
She had been to Tirumala and Chennai for the past twelve days.
So, a new time table for me from today.
Enjoyed my own time table for the past twelve days.
04/24 Direct Link

It is 5 pm when I begin to write this. The pang of not updating the 100 words for two days lingers.
A pang? Why do I use such a strong word to describe a small set back?
Small or big, pang is a pang.
Put on new dress. Yes very new dress, which I got stitched recently.
Wife had to consult doctor. We had been to Hospital.
My ‘off’ days are continuing.
This morning I started the day listening to V.Krishnan. I thought I would prepare coffee after that.
I didn’t. Wife made nice filter coffee.
Super!
04/25 Direct Link
Son is not able to sleep properly....
What is the problem with him?
He snores. He has paunch. He gets sudden bouts of rage. He is alone at Bengaluru.
What he wants?
How can I help him?
With all the above, he has got positives.
He has managed to live alone for the past five years.
He earns well. When compared to his peers his earnings may be lesser, but he has managed to save something and has bought great things to us.
We are ready to help him.
Why he is not simple but complex?
How to help him?
04/26 Direct Link


These planets - they have their own positions in the universal timeline - changes over a time. The universal timeline is something which I cannot comprehend.
I cannot understand the physics about ‘time’
I cannot fully understand Einstein theory about time.
I cannot read ‘the brief history of time’ by Stephen Hawking’
The planet move, revolve.
They have their own time. Earth 360 or 1 year, Saturn 30 years.
Ok. I was born when the planets and stars were in a certain position.
Just the star positon. No star or planet will hate me or harm me.  
They have positions.
04/27 Direct Link

Today is my birthday.
Thank God, you made me to be in this world.
I am grateful to so many things.
My family. My work. My friends.
My social networks.
Birthday wishes poured from my near and dears.
My son sent me a letter through e mail which I read with tears in my mind.
Good. He is a sensible person.
Let him face the world and achieve many things.
What more a father needs, when he knows that his children are facing the world and enjoying things within their limitations.
God bless my children.
Special, thanks to Dear Wife.
04/28 Direct Link

Apr 22, 2018 What do you have in your bag right now?
**A shopping list and money.**
Apr 23, 2018 What does 'hope' mean to you?
**It will happen.**
Apr 24, 2018 What food do you eat when you're depressed?
**Curd rice. Banana.**
Apr 25, 2018 Please fill in the blank: Today _
**A relaxing day. Son talked. It was more relaxing.**
As usual, wanted to give shape in words to several thoughts. The thoughts go away or the mind feels that it need not be recorded.
Here, from Apr 22 to Apr 25 the recordings in my app me-time.
04/29 Direct Link
It is pleasant, very pleasant to spend time with my phone.
Jio cinema has got plenty of shows both tv serials and cinemas.
The web serial I was watching was ‘Romil and Jugal’
Romantic stories with boy and girl, I have watched. This story packed in 10 episodes, each of 22 minutes duration is a love story of boy and boy. The two boys have performed well.
Jiomusic has plenty of music and comedy drama. It was enjoyable I listen to a crazy Mohan comedy with wife.
Myjio gives me 1.5 GB of data per day which is abundant.
04/30 Direct Link

MyJio is giving me 2.00 GB per day?
That is what the notification said yesterday. I used up to watch Romil and Jugal and Dushayanth Sridhar's Bhagavatham. I think I have used up the full data.
The Bhagavatham lecture is given by Dusyanth Sridhar during Feb 2018 and is uploaded in youtube now. It is elaborate and the lecture takes nearly two hours.
He had named the first episode as Day 0.
It was an introduction and there will be seven lectures. I have found that day 1 lecture is also uploaded.
No, I am wrong. No day 1.