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I am blazing with the joy of my homecoming. My grandson is at the water's edge. He's already strong enough to grab the prow! Tears well up. I brush them away with my sleeve. I step ashore and everyone runs out to embrace me. They do not even see what I have brought them for I am their treasure. Then they marvel at the heaps of gold coins and sweet fruit from exotic lands that did not spoil but have ripened on the long journey. They are now perfect for the feast! I turn to my grandson with pride. You have done well my son. Shall we walk up together? (100)
I am a man of forty. I am a teacher in charge of a dozen country schools. I visit the close ones for a few hours every two weeks, teach a few lessons and support the young teachers. The alternate week I go to one of the outlying areas and spend a few days. On Friday's I go to the mosque where ever I am. I come from a tribal area far away but I have made a home here. Underneath my simple house is a limestone cave where I have a library which is my joy. Now bombs are falling.
I drive to the school administration building and collect primers in languages, geography and simple science, as many as I can, plus some how to fix it booklets and some poetry. The head comes in and looks at my cart. No, don't check them out, he says. It will be better there is no trace. He opens the medicine cabinet and takes out nearly all the painkillers, plasters and bandages and gives them to me.He also gives me as much cash as he has, much more than my salary. Do what you can he says. May Allah bless you.(100)
I go to get petrol. There is already a long queue. I go to the pump at the back and help myself as usual and go into pay. The owner scowls. You can't do that anymore, he says. Things have changed. I am taken to a room behind the shop. An older woman sits at a desk. When she looks up I almost greet her in my own language.I know her, or perhaps I knew her. Gather the children, she says.She draws a circle on a map. Just from here. You have one day. We will take as many as eighty by bus to the coast Thursday morning. Two women and another man as well. No need for papers.
There are more than four hundred children I say. She looks at me. Eighty. Ages 7-12. Girls and boys. Two buses, it's a school, er geography trip. She put her elbows on the table and looks at me. Don't think you can go underground. The tunnels have been extensively mined. These areas are being cleared. Any survivors will be trucked to a camp in the desert. Many will die. Your children will not. Portugal, if it can be arranged. At worst Libya. Yes, you will be in a camp. Do you agree? Yes, I say.She puts a stamp in my passport. The assignment is for five years. Your library should survive. I suddenly realise she is very senior.
yes, my man dances on creamy sand at the edge of the rolling sea he's taken the cream bonnet in hand the mask allows him to be free at the edge of the rolling sea the crocodile dances through him the mask allows him to be free as free as the howling wind the crocodile dances through him he takes off the mask as free as the howling wind what more could I really ask? he takes off the mask yes, my man dances on the creamy sand and merges with me he's taken the cream bonnet in hand!
six half finished paintings/three thousand books/send me fainting/it's not like how it looks/three thousand books/ they're all living in me/it's not quite how it looks/they're all fruits of the world tree/they're all living in me/ ripe and delicious/they're fruits of the world tree/and entirely fictitious/they're all living in me/time for the harvest /they're all living in me/I'll try my hardest/six half finished paintings/can never be moved/it's not how it looks/that I loved them truely can never be proved.
When I loose this text for the third time I am really loosing it! What is the use of my careful phrase? my rhymes, my crazy thought process carefully crafted to make sense!! It's enough! Yesterday was full of love and support but today I'm back in bed It's cold I have decisions to make that I do not want to make. I ache, I breathe without pleasure, I frown, cos this is all taking energy and I will look back and say a chunk of my life just disappeared I don't want to be fearful time is slipping away.
Susan, who no longer goes into the wardrobe, no longer visits Narnia, and has become sensible beyond all recognition, has had enough of this life, of this lifestyle. She calmly goes into her spare room climbs on top of the contemporary wooden wardrobe and jumps! She is a tall woman and she lands on her feet. The top of the wardrobe was not a very big jump after all. What is in the wardrobe? Clothes, belongings, roles, history, herstories that are no longer needed? Susan does not unpack she is is determined- She jumps again and this time she dies.(100)
When they found Susan/ in a tidy heap on the floor/ they called the doctor/ and the police. / The doctor said, there are no injuries,/ it appears her heart just stopped beating. / Heart failure / he wrote on his report./ Heart failure, said the police./ Heart failure, said the neighbours/ but truely/ there was no heart failure/, rather the opposite-/ Susan was a determined woman. / She left a life that did not satisfy her desire for love, warmth and imagination. / She now lives with her lover on a tropical island./ They go into jungles / and into magical wardrobes whenever they please.
Who is it who dances on the sand with a crocodile mask who would have me believe that a sweet little baby bonnet is exactly what is needed to adorn the brow of a crocodile! We fear our rage, that our unmet needs are self seeking monsters! We must cease being afraid of pain of our infantile selves offer them love and humour and gentle care- Is this what it means this crocodile dance on the sand? Of course you are a good dancer in touch with the crocodile spirit- perhaps there's something more primal here though than we understand. (100)
fresh ripples of laughter/ streaming through your belly/ your little daughter/ says that straw hat- is so silly/ streaming through your belly/ sun warmed earth gives up her power/ says that straw hat is so silly/ ruined by the first spring shower/ sun warmed earth gives up her power/ smelling of fresh hay / ruined by the first spring shower/ storms clouding the day/ smelling of fresh hay/ we are here loving again/ storms clouding the day/ no longer in the fast lane/ loving and kissing/ fresh ripples of laughter/ no longer missing/ your little daughter.
I climbed down the waterfall way
very carefully, finding footholds in the crumbling, red rock
noticing the tumbling water shot with rainbows
I came to you where sunlight shone in the late afternoon
on a wet beach
on a wet beach
where the patterns you had made had just dissolved away.
So much dreaming, so much meaning
so deep the meeting, so full of soul-
so long I stayed, making patterns in the sand with you
on a wet beach
on a wet beach
and watched them wash away.
Then you went by day to the city
to learn another sort of dreaming
how to make money from your dreaming
instead of giving dreams away.
I stayed creating because I know
all that is needed is a sacred cove
all that is needed is that you tend the white fire
but you went away
from that wet beach
that wet beach
where the sun shines in the late afternoon
before the sea washes everything away.
I walked a little way along that beach
around the headland are some windswept dunes
I am walking back, quite easily, to where I parked my car
not so long ago,
away from that wet beach
that wet beach-
The patterns have reshaped who I am
and this can never be
Pure gold. live and money stream toward me, through me
because I give my dreams away.
If you brutalise the gentlest of creatures it can become brutal. The mouse and the bunny, gentle creatures, are both sought as prey, but in my dream a charmless Micky Mouse character was in charge of new recruits in a guerilla army.Any rabbit that stepped out of line was shot. Jack Rabbit conformed. He went on to become a brutal military commander. A jackrabbit is a hare that breeds prolifically and thumps on the ground to communicate danger. Jackrabbit is slang for violent sex or to be off your head with cocaine. Brutalised and brutal.The rise of Jack Rabbit. (100)
The merger of Bayer, pharmaceutical giant subject of a hundred lawsuits, has merged with Monsanto, destroyer of land, traditional crops and pusher of genetically modified seeds that can only be grown with expensive and destructive agro chemicals. How many suicides are they responsible for? farmers who could not meet their payments, psychiatric patients who were given drugs rather than psychotherapy, young women who died of blood clots after using their contraceptives? Truly a death dealing duo. I read that the Bayer name will be used to try to offset the bad press associated with Monsanto. Truly the rise of Jack Rabbit.(100)
Hare-in-the-moon says there is healing in this solstice the sun enters Cancer and sextiles Ouranos entering Taurus,new seeds are nurtured now-The challenge of Chiron entering Aries is to know our wounds and have compassion: Time to bring it all home. We are ourselves the gods I am the wounded and dying king. I suffer from the madness of the world even as I fail to rule. Hot golden tears are my balm as they strip away unnecessary posturing and possessions. I will see beauty in the teeth of the dead dog. Hot golden tears the Queen's sunny promise.
This weekend you my son just played board games with your little daughter while I played scrabble here I know you do not want to depend on me I know you do not want me to depend on you I know I don't want you to grieve, but I know you will and are, and so am I. I called then to ask if I could finish drying my duvet cover in your drier as the day was fading.Sure you said come over.You were sitting in the cubby house together. We went out then to the adventure park.(100)
Yesterday speaking of the 25 June I bought fresh fruit and vegetables and Demeter brown rice, and almonds and enjoyed the sunshine. I greeted the dogs and picked up some little shells at the tideline. I walked on the beach. The water was a soft blue like a melting soft summer sky in a cooler country. They have put new blinds around the beach cafe. It's is snug but I quite miss the ratty old carnival atmosphere I drank a chai. I wondered about that position in your city. Would I get it? Do I want it? Where are you?
Where, where are you my friend? Did you fall down that deep well of despair,into the pit,that low dream that you drew when we were together? Where are you my friend? For the first time we did not talk before the new moon/ there were no greetings at the solstice.You sent me a picture of a cat sitting on the image of your deep heart / you begged me to understand you need to work with young people at festivals/you long to dance to express yourself, to collaborate with musicians, to be the mentor you never had.(100)
I go to renew my passport online I have dreadful photos from the Post Shop They cannot find my number- I go to print out the forms the boxes are faint I fill in the forms and discover it is more expensive here I fill in the forms and discover I need verification from a citizen who is not extended family I ask the only person I know but his passport has expired I will drive two hours today to the Kiwi shop, courier the forms and wait two weeks.. But then I will have the privilege of a passport.
Hot golden tears/stream down her face-/ the old king is dying, maddened by his pain/his insufferable wounds/ cannot be healed by science or medicine/the land is poisoned/the crops no longer grow/ cattle are not fertile/ the bees die/these lands of milk and honey are laid waste, we fear the stranger at the door - /Do you ask what ails thee?/Let hot golden tears burn away/beauty that is past it's use by date- peel away naievity.Your heart of gold is needed/Ask your most important question, then act. This is the path to sovereignty.100
No no do not try to migrate to Europe illegally. Five million desperate Syrians have reached Europe or drowned on the way, most are in camps..boats pick up desperate Libyans and Italy has closed its ports.It is not safe in Iran. People who love their land, poor people and educated people who had professions families and homes wait in camps. There are still disposed Kurds, Albanians and Bosnians, Sarajevo is being rebuilt but the young do not have work. Greece is in crisis and so is Spain.The French the British, the Germans do not want you. (100)
In purest outpoured light
shimmers the godhead of the world
In purest love
to all that is
outpours the godhead of my soul
I rest within the godhead of the world
there shall I find my self for ever
within the godhead of the world
from Rudolf Steiner
I am grateful for this day. Thank you.
May I think clearly.
May I feel deeply.
May I act with courage.
May I see beauty
May I hear truth
May I know that because I live in you I have the power to bless
May we all live within your healing embrace.
I am chatting via text with a young man from Morroco. Perhaps I am an almost-grandmother. You have such a good life, I envy you. I help my friend renovate his house- Unfortunately there is no work in my country.(Young men all long to migrate.) I will go to Belgium and marry a blonde girl. I say, you are an Arab. It is your destiny and you love the wide land and the olive trees and vegetables of your family land. No one is starving. You take rabbit to the terrine to eat at night during the fast.100
I have just cooked two mushrooms in sunflower oil added some toasted pine nuts and sesame and mixed them with a cup full of chopped fresh greens from the garden -Italian parsley and nasturtium, a dark leaved lettuce and silver beet, young dandelion leaves and some watercress from the store. I ate them all with a slice of toasted olive bread. Before I go out I will eat kiwifruit. What is remarkable about that? Two servings of vegetables really, some wheat and nuts and seeds- what is remarkable is it's breakfast on week nine of this way of sustenance.100
You embrace me with so much love/ah such suffering/has come between us/ You carried burdens for me/of much I could not yet carry in my heart/much less articulate./ Truth is, without you,I do not dwell in my heart for long./ I welcome your black snakes/of protection and power./May I see through their eyes as I learn to love you the more./Your child of my honeyman, whom you hoped for but did not expect, /is also my child. He is born of your body, fed from your infinite wisdom and sheltered by my warmth.(100)
I opened the blinds/to a double rainbow/ I took a photo/as it touched the roof of the house /you have so recently left/ I was glad /to catch the rainbow / in those brief moments/of its existence / Let's be thankful for brief moments of wonder. May contentment seep into us. May it be in the air we breathe. I sent you a text/thanking you for writing/saying I would like to respond. / It was stormy last night /grief/ that I did not know I had-/I ache /for your loss.I hope /I can trust/the rainbow. (100)
All time is now except when it's go- Is that so? I am glad of my hot water bottle tonight. Four momths ago it was too hot to sleep, I felt your warmth streaming towards me. I am glad of my hot water bottle tonight. I asked for a sign. I saw an oscillating wave pattern a sine! Sure there's flow. Two opposing flows may create harmonics. Or demonics- Is there something we need to sign, perhaps to agree upon? Tasks or roles to assign? Or is it enough to trust the flow? Raise the vibration, re-establish intention or go?(100)
Pyroclastic that's a new word for me. It refers to ash as in a pyroclastic cloud of molten ash moving at incredible speed scorching the earth long before molten lava buries a village or a city. What if Mt Ranier should blow, or Mt St Helen's do more than clear her throat. What if Mt Shasta should erupt at the same time as cataclysmic earthquakes mangle freeways and send buildings crashing in upon each other? Perhaps even the remaining redwoods would fall and if Yellowstone blows there goes California. Did I need this apocalyptic vision tonight. Keep safe, he says.(100)
I discovered washi tape!
I was looking for more Pooh Bear tape
for a little girl
I discovered nothing but clear tape
in the local shops
AND a whole crafters industry on Ebay
making twee objects
with tape on plastic containers
photo frames and albums and and
Washi means hand made in Japanese
and refers to traditional papers.
These tapes are certainly not handmade-
Some are lovely colours, some coordinate
I even found one with flamingos..
at $8 roll Etsy suggests I might need ten or twenty
All I wanted was half an hours delight for a little girl! (100)
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