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There is nothing more satisfying than giving back to others. The warm feeling you get in your heart when you give back, the looks on peoples faces or the genuine thank you get makes every sweat, every tear and every struggle worth it. I understand that sometimes you do wonderful things to help out someone and they are the ugliest people you will ever come across but never stop putting others before your own needs. One day the reward you receive will exceed all expectations. I cling on to that hope when i'm dealing with uneasy people in this world.
I make mistakes, just like everyone else but why am I the one who gets the most shit? I didn't tell you about leaving school to go home and do some errands before returning to school but that doesn't give you the rights to call me, "annoying af" or that "you're so fucked up man for not telling me." First off, we had an agreement that we wouldn't see each other unless it was at friends event. So it was safe to assume that we weren't having lunch anymore. So sorry, sorry you had to drive and be by yourself.
Why have group activities? I understand that peer teaching is an effective way to learn but why does my grade have to be involved. It's not my fault if someone doesn't want to learn or be willing to listen to someone that understands more than others do. I don't think people understand that not everyone is good at every subject in school. Hints why your in college to further your knowledge and get into a career of your choice. So why give the people a hard time helping you? Wait,they don't have a choice. Your grade is my grade!
College is so expensive in the Untied States. Its an arm and a leg to just go and attend class but its another arm and leg just to receive the materials you need for that class. Whether that is the $120 book you barely open or the $90 access code you need to login. Lets say you want to receive the best education but its in a different state than your home state. Well, there goes 20 loans you have to pay off later in life. I understand that professors and staff have to get paid but come on America!
The word respect sometimes can be a funny thing when people give their own definition. In different situation respect can be applied. If you say you are in a relationship and you guys respect each other because you can talk about "doing stuff with someone else" and not get mad and joke about it. Well, what if you do end up doing something with someone else other than your spouse and don't tell them? Do you still have respect for that person? I do not think that is how respect works. I think you need to look in the mirror.
I was never a big person on having a mentor in life but recently she has been the one person to keep me from going insane in situations. I'm constantly confused on every situation that deals with my feelings or big choice in my life. Every action you take has a reaction and that's why I have always been terrified of making decisions by myself. With that being said I have always lean on others opinions on the situation, which makes me vulnerable to believing in others than my own thoughts. One day I will learn to believe in me.
My father has no respect for other peoples time. If he is rushing, he excepts you to rush with him but if its vice versa than he takes he sweet, old time to get ready. Like this morning, I had to take him to work before I went to school, well he woke up late and acted if nothing was wrong and I did not have to get to school. I had to get coffee and a bagel, drive him to work and beat morning traffic just to get to school. Once again I'm late to class because of him!
How can we help the lower class achieve greatness in the world if all we do is hand them food stamps and all the government assistance? Some people of the lower class do appreciate the assistance and others take it for grant. But how do you distinguish the difference? Back then your word has so much meaning, people believe in what you said but now you can't even know who is lying or telling the truth. Should we have stricter guidelines or mandatory checkups? So many questions when it comes to government assistance, that I will never get answers for.
As Christians,the enemy will always use your weak points to get you to fall. I struggle with homosexuality everyday of my life and is a constant battle within me. When i'm put into situations I have to remember to get my guard up because if i give even the smallest wiggle room to Satan, he will use to his greatest advantage and turn the small hole into a bigger one that is more than I can handle by myself. My mentor as told me that " God is patient to see our reaction. Satan is patient to cause our reaction."
BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES! They're what is saving our souls from being victimized from others. I could love you with all my heart but once I allow you to break down that boundary,that is when we have an issue and need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation and make changes as need be. I love you and its nothing against who you are but if what is happening is interfering with the plans and path the big man upstairs has then there is no longer reason to continue because his plans are greater than ours any day.
Never! I mean never yell at me in front of people especially, in front of people I know. I understand pulling me away and yell at me quietly. I get it! I was suppose to write 2 essays before I went out but dang. I wrote the one essay that was due before I left. Does that one count? If I tell you I will do something, then yes I should have did it but its my grade. Thank you for being concerned about my grades and keeping me countable. I just do not like how you approached the situation.
When I decide to go to HCC, I thought I was a failure in my families eyes. I didn't make it into top 10 of class, I didn't get accepted into this big university, and on top of that I was too broke to move out but with the support of my best friend its okay to take small steps as long as your dreams and goals don't change. I still want to be a pharmacist and thankfully HCC offers a transfer track in Pharmacy. I get some class out of the way then transfer to University of South Florida.
Its crazy how I came in this class thinking, "ugh its going to be boring, i'm tired and want to go home," but as I started thinking about my paper on should teachers and students be able to carry guns on campus and doing some research. It reminds me that we have so much more to accomplish in our life time. We need to start coming up with strategic ways to defuse certain situations and should make it just as a priority as a fire drill or a weather drills in primary schools all the way to post secondary schools.
Lying can get you in more trouble than you think. It can consume you and the way to keep it a secret is the lies that protect the very first lie. Lets say you get caught on one the lies that suppose to protect the BIG lie. Well now you have to lie more and more to just protect and eventually you will get tired and not able to distinguish between what is a lie and what is the truth. After a while, you will get so fed up and tell the truth so TELL THE TRUTH THE FIRST TIME!
Getting to know someone new can be hard sometimes. Learning their flaws, buttons that push them over the edge, and/or their insecurities. Sometimes it can be frustrating especially remembering and applying those things. I like Aj so much but sometimes I get overwhelm especially since we are Christians, sex before marriage is a commitment we both agreed on. Also, for someone (me) where sex means nothing and trying to put meaning back into it. Its really not easy, I struggle every time we go on a date but i'm strong enough to overcome the urge and beat the enemy.
I have so much to do the month of November. Finish this 100 word, finish all my buckets for English, finish my reaction paper for Ethics, and finish my training for Technology. Being a freshman in college is not easy. Most professors don't give deadline which suck for me because I think I have the time and next thing you know you have so much to do and 5 weeks left to do it. I'm struggle to catch up to make sure I do not fail any class because i'm broke and do not want to pay for them again.
Making a mistake in the beginning of a relationship makes it hard to move on and grow if all questions don't get answered. When you first find out what happened you don't ask many questions because your too anger to speak or do not want to say anything you'll regret later. But at some point you need to ask those questions because those will be the ones to always be in the back of your mind, waiting for the perfect time to through in that persons face. I just pray the questions get answered before anything gets out of hand.
I can understand why people who speck another language teach some form of math because math is a universal language. No matter where you go in the world math is the same; addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. But if you are going to sub for a class in America, can you please learn at least enough English to teach? I love math and you barely specking English just makes me want to get up, sign my name for attendance and walk right out the door but I stay for respect. All i'm saying is learn a little bit of English.
Aj finally meeting my father was huge for me. My father is someone I cherish so he can't just meet every guy I talk to. He is special and he needs to meet someone who special to me, someone that I think is worth staying in my life. Aj is just amazing, kind-hearted, trustworthy, compassionate, and so forgiving. Even though we had rough moments, he always wants to figure a way through it. He may get on my nerves and aggravates me but the times he makes me smile and laugh exceeds everything else and for that i'm thankful.
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant." - Robert Stevenson Build your life on a consistent body of small achievements, not just a single giant success. You reap what you sow. Sow generously and you will reap generously. Sow sparingly and you will find yourself impoverished when you meet the grim reaper. In proverbs 28:20, "The trustworthy person will get a rich reward, but a person who wants quick riches will get into trouble." Teaching little kids on Sunday, reminds me that what I do today matters and reflects who I am.
Staying in a class that challenges your faith is hard! Ethics is all about different philosophers and morals. We are talking about skeptics about how they would ask God for an I.D. George Carlin is a skeptic and watching a video about him giving statements about how praying is useless, or the Bible is a book of unreal stories like little red riding hood, or worshiping someone that you cant see while i'm sitting their listening to this is hard and all I can do is say otherwise. He is a God of miracles, healing, restoration, love and protection!
To me sex is nothing. Parents always tell you its bad, but when have a mom who will be relationships with these men who just want her vagina and she allows it to have extra money or wants to use their car or who knows what. Also , a sister who instead of babysitting you and watching you is having sex with this guy she barely knows right upstairs. Of course as a little girl you think its nothing and of course when I got of age it was okay even though they stay its not. I lost it at thirteen.
I'm seriously the luckiest person ever. We planned a Zoo day but everything else was in his hands. It was our day to just spend with each other, so he got to pick things to do. We got breakfast in the morning at my moms job, than we went to Zoo and spent 3 hours there. After that we went to a pizzeria for lunch and then he surprised me by going going to the Clearwater Aquarium. Like who would not be excited to go to the Zoo and the Aquarium in the same day? Today was everything and more!!!!
Math can really be confusing sometimes. Like we all know that you can only add, subtract, multiply and divide but figuring out the order is the tricky part. I struggled with these 2 problems for like 20 minutes, finally I gave up and called it a night. Well, this morning i'm right back at. I used my Algebra book and found a way that I didn't even know I could do. Within 5 minutes I solved both problems. With a little determination, some resources and waking up with a fresh pair of eyes can always solved your problems in life.
Why go to class if everything you're doing in class you can do at home? I understand if you need help or your teacher lectures but if you walk in class and go on the computer and do work whats the difference at home? I do not have to have clothes on or have my hair done, i'm comfy in my bed, not to hot or not to cold, and get the same amount of work done. It makes more sense to stay home or go home before the class starts if you have another class before. Coyness over everything!
Been a female sucks in every way. You get awful cramps and bleeding everywhere just because you decided to not get pregnant. It's like your being punished for being good and keeping your leg closed. I understand it suppose to clean out your system and its healthy but can you do it in a way that is less painfully, even if you don't get cramps, wondering if you leaked through your pants or looking like a fat whale in everything you wear. Some days I really wish I was a male and could walk around with nothing to worry about.
Today is just not my day! First, I woke up late because I thought Vampire Diaries was more important than sleeping. Then, my on the go Dunkin' Donuts was not working after taking the money out of my bank account so I have to pay an extra $5.01 for my coffee and cinnamon raisin bagel. To find out after I left and on my way to school, my coffee was completely gross and not even able to finish it. Now, I'm super tired and barely alive in Ethics and some how have to make it through College Algebra. Greatttttttttttttt!
HCC is expensive. We go to a community college becuase we are broke, well that my reason, so why is the food so expensive? One green apple, a green machine Naked, and a Kind bar SHOULD NOT be 9 dollars and some change. That is completely ridiculous. I work part time and go to school full time. I should not be paying 9 dollars for 3 things. Yes, I understand Nakeds are expensive so 3 dollars is understandable but one apple and a bar? Come on HCC! Get it together! Please for the well being of us, reduce your prices!
Lulu is my blessing I've needed for a while. She is my mentor that I will forever be thankful. She has gone through similar things as me and is probably the best person to talk to about my emotions. She makes me think further than I thought I was capable of doing. Deep thinking for myself and really figure who I am. Not physically but spiritually, deep down under all the pain and suffering who I am? I encourage other to do the same because in the mist of chaos you will always know who you are truly are inside.
Life is about change and transitions. You can either stay in your confront zone or you can move and live the life you where intended to live. I'm living in transitions right now; new relationship, freshman in college and working my first job. My emotions are on this roller coaster and shaking me up. I want to giving up on school, changing my major to something way easier but today I was reminded to refuse to give up and keep pushing. This is only a season of my life and that I will get through it. I am strong enough!
Publix gives free candy to all the kids that comes in on Halloween. Today I was fortunate enough to experience this and see all the kids faces light up. The costumes were just so adorable, I just want to to pick them up and hug them but you know parents are crazy and probably punch me in my face for touching there precious little angels. I want to have kids of my own one day and dress them up in little pumpkin costume or watch them get scared at the clown costume around the corner and enjoy the little things.
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