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I try to write in my journal nightly, but I now need to write here everyday for thirty days for my English class. I guess that means this is my new journal! Most of the time I don't write about things going on in my life,well sometimes I do, but mostly it's a collection of quotes,bible verses and subjects that make me think about the wife, mother, daughter, sister, boss and woman that I am. The positive of these entries is that I'll have thirty new things to add to my list that I call "My Raw Awareness"
My "Life's Little Instruction Calendar" at work said-It's impossible to be happier than your spouse and children. At first I was like "forgot you calendar!" Yet it got me thinking. If my Husband or sons have an issue, 9 times out of 10 I'm the one who "fixes" it. Regardless if it's something little like being out of toilet paper to a sprang ankle during football practice, it's natural to want to take care of them, after all their my loves, my peace. Is this statement true, yes. Is this statement always fair, no. Is it worth it, absolutely!
"The Bob Principle" When Bob Has A Problem With Everybody, Bob is Usually the Problem. If Bob has problems with Bill, and Bob has problems with Fred, and Bob has problems with Jane, and Bob has problems with Sam, then Bob is usually the problem -John Maxwell. Sometimes people don't understand that life sucks because of their attitude towards life. If all you do is complain and point out the negative all the time,course your going to be unhappy. Change starts with you. Being thankful for the small things is a huge start. Everybody else can't always be wrong.
4)Love is patient,love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. 5)It does not dishonor others,it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6)love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7)It always protects,always trusts,always hopes,always perseveres. 8)Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.-Corinthians 13:4-8 Being such a person is easier said than done.
One of the definitions for the word dependent is requiring someone or something for financial, emotional, or other support. I depend on my husband for all of these things and I hope he feels the same when it comes to his feelings towards me. Yet a book on tape that was playing at work called "7 essentials of life" was saying being to dependent on others as an adult isn't so great. In fact a lot of the times dependent people are selfish. All though this may be true for some, is it true or false for a married couple?
Independent-free from outside control; not depending on another's authority or free from outside control; not depending on another's authority. "7 Essentials of Life" was saying being independent is good, yet you can still grow as a person. I agree with this one. At work there are plenty of projects I get done quicker by doing it myself. Same goes for my home life. Yet there are loads of other things I just couldn't do with out the help of my coworkers, husband and kids. This is where I tend to go back to being dependent some times of others.
I find being interdependent is the most awarding. Interdependent means (of two or more people or things) dependent on each other. Not being to dependent on others where you become a burden or to independent that your viewed as always having an attitude. There's a fine line between the three definitions: dependent, independent, and interdependent. Knowing which one you tend to lean towards most to me is a way to improve my character. Dependent means I rely on YOU. Independent means I rely on MYSELF and interdependent means WE rely on each other. Which I choose is always on me.
Today at work I heard the statement "you can't walk one way and think another" Now that's something to think about, how not to be contradicting. I know personally I don't like giving advise on matters unless I have been thru a similar situation. It bothers me when people say one thing and do the opposite in the next breath. Mostly it bothers me when it comes to the example I set for my children. "Do what I said, not what I do" never sat well with me. Doing how you teach is always a hard thing to live by.
Yes! It's FOOTBALL season! In the football pool last nights game was a HUGE upset. Denver-21, Car-20. My picks for the week: Atlanta over Tampa bay- Baltimore over Buffalo- Houston over Chicago- Green Bay over Jacksonville (this pick hurt my heart,lol)- San Diego over Kansas City- Oakland over New Orleans- Cincinnati over NY Jets- Cleveland over Philly- Minnesota over Tennessee (SKOAL! Vikings!)- Seattle over Miami- NY Giants over Dallas- Indianapolis over Detroit- Arizona over New England- Pittsburgh over Washington- San Fran over LA (no more Saint Louis,smh)- Let the trash talking, yelling at the TV began!
Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh,the thinks you can think up if only you try!
I know,up on top you are seeing great sights, But down here at the bottom,we,too,should have rights.
When at last we are sure,You've been properly pilled, Then a few paper forms, Must be properly filled. So that you and your heirs,May be properly billed.
Be who you are and say what you feel,because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind
-Love Dr Seuss
"Therefore I tell you,stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life,what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [far above and more excellent] than clothing? Amplified Mathew 6:25.
Over and over we worry about the wrong things. This past week has been so busy with family, work and school. I'm over thinking every little thing, feeling over whelmed, and struggling with life. In stead of getting the rest I need I'm trying to be super woman and do it all.
My "Life's Little Instruction Calendar" says
Don't forget the nine most important words of any marriage: "I love you," "You look fabulous," and "Please forgive me."
I know I'm great at saying the words "I love you" but the other two I could always work on. I have no problem saying "I'm wrong", I never think to make sure my husband knows I mean it, that I'm not just saying it. When he looks good I do have a habit of saying to him "Hay! boyfriend!" just to get a smile from him. but I could say more.
This week has been challenging. I haven't had time to read anything (unless it's school related). I already don't watch much TV. A few weeks back I didn't know a storm was coming until the people at work told me. This week I didn't know anything about all the garbage released in to the bay over in St. Pete until they told me. They can't believe how clueless I am with what's going on. I can't believe they don't understand how busy I am. Just because the six o'clock news is important to them doesn't mean it is to me.
"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect-and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers... make sure your hands are clean!" -Bob Marley
I've noticed a lot of judging going on at work. In fact I find myself judging them for judging, so in truth I'm not much better. I believe everyone has every a right to their own opinion. However we tend to forget that's YOUR opinion, not theirs. Two people CAN be right about the same situation. The view depends on which side your standing on.
POWER REVEALS. I heard this at work today. These two words together, to me, is so deeply raw that I stopped what I was doing and was like "WOW!" With the power of management do I enforce the wrong things. With the power of a mother do I expect to much out of the rules I set, are the punishments justly, or are they sometimes whats easiest for me. As a wife am I too forward with my mouth, after all words are power, they too can cut deep. When I have the power who am I as a person?
One of my favorite sayings is " Dress me slowly, for I'm in a hurry" I'm always in "rabbit" mode, "turtle" mode, yeah right not this girl! I make careless mistakes from moving to fast. What could of been done right the first time if I slowed down, takes twice as long to fix. This is a reminder to myself. All week I've been going backwards to fix "little" things. My Math homework (two negatives equals a positive,duh!), my cycle counting report (the reason some raw materials are short???) If only I could multiply myself.....till then, "dress me slowly".
I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe. And it will be okay. Because I don't quit.-Shayne McClendon
I just got a "D" on my Math quiz, errrrr! Why? Not because I don't know how to solve the problems but because I didn't take the time to double check my work. I have a habit of forgetting to put the negative sign in my answers. I have to find time, slow down and accept there are things I'm just not going to get to today.
My cousin posted online the word "Prudence" It means- careful management: economy. In the bible it means- being good stewards or mangers of the gifts God has given us to use. Those gifts include time,energy,strength and health, even material possession.
Now this daily bible lesson came at a great time. This just reinforce what I've been trying tell myself. I've decided no more staying up half the night doing homework. I need to sleep. No more worrying that clothes aren't folded and put away. Time to switch up on whats a priority and what can just wait.
You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren't busy denying them.-"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I like this quote. I believe life messes have some kind of lesson to learn from. I also believe there's positive somewhere in all the chaos. When I was younger I use to get so upset about the little things going wrong. In fact sometimes that's all I focused on, the wrong. Now I be like "well, at least this didn't happen", or "the positive is etc,etc". Your mind set tends to change as you get older.
Today while listening to the book on tape at work I hear "You can't talk your way out of problems your actions created". I was like "Oh!, that's a good one". If only I was wise enough to understand this in my teenager years.It's also why I laugh at my o'so wise teenager when he's trying to pull one over on me. It doesn't happen often but when it does I feel more sorry for my child than upset, as if I was born yesterday. That's why this quote is on a sticky note waiting for just an occasion.
End of last week my husband had "allergies". I told him I didn't know allergies comes with a fever unless it's turned in to a infection. Guess what? Now I am sick. My oldest son is sick. My youngest son is starting to sneeze and cough. I guess we all have allergies. You know the kind that comes with a fever and aching joints. Good thing they make "allergies" medicine, but you got to be careful, the over the counter medicine distribution company's don't put allergies on the box for these kinds of symptoms, they usually put cold and flu.
I didn't go to work today. Last night after school I came home to a broken AC unit. Not good by itself, 100% worse when your sick. By the time the maintenance came with a window unit it was almost 3 am, I get up at 4:30 am. Then my husbands breaks go out on his car. I was off so I took his car in to the shop. They inform me that they couldn't find the wheel lock key. "Great!. Of course you can't!", after sitting there for an hour. Sick, broken AC and no fixed car breaks.
Praying that you will be filled with his mighty glorious strength so that you can keep going no mater what.-Colossians 1:11
I go back this bible verse when life is starting to give me a bad attitude. I can't be to mad, after all it's life. It happens to us all. I just wish it didn't happen all at one time. It'd be great if we could schedule the bad like we do the good. "I'm not busy the weekend of the 26th,yes, that's a good time for things to go wrong". I'll pencil that in.
I decided to go back and read my entries just now. "Tsk!,Tsk! Theresa". I found myself proof reading what I wrote. I'm missing a few comas, an "a" here, add "to" there. It's good that I'm starting to notice these things. It's bad because now I'm wondering what's in my journal. Question #1-should I red pen my journal? Question #2- Do I even have time for that? Answer to both questions, NO! It's a journal. It's suppose to be run on sentences, misspelled words. At least I know that I'll be more aware of what's being written down.
This was on Facebook
You let time pass. That's the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and realize you're okay.-Cheryl Strayed.
The struggle of dealing with any loss is a daily battle. The loss of being loved and being in love is tormenting. To be able to say I'm okay is healing.
It's been a LONG weekend. When I'm at work I'm thinking about what I need to do at home. When I'm at home I'm thinking about what I need to do for school. I'm thinking about what I should of done on Saturday. I'm thinking about what I'm going to need to have done by the end of the month. Thank goodness I'm an organized person.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha
I hear you Buddha, but how do I calm my thoughts, rest my mind.
Tonight before you go to sleep,think of something that makes you smile. There is always something, no matter how bad your day may have been. You will sleep better,you will feel better once you wake and you will face your new day with a positive mind. Take charge of your happiness.-Dave Hedges
Not quite sure who this guy is but he has hit it right on the nail. Tomorrow is another day full of new things to see,to smell,to touch,to taste, to laugh, new kisses,new hugs,new things to learn and huge smiles!
No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is,not according to what he has.-Henry Ward Beecher
"Yes! I am a rich woman",in the heart that is. My bank account could never have to much money in it. However, I have a husband that still loves and desires me after ten years. Two health boys on their way into manhood. A good relationship with all seven of my siblings, and my mother,my biggest supporter.
I was trying to figure out what to write my next essay on. My husband and myself are currently trying to buy a house. I did consider 20 vs 30 year mortgages. After some brainstorming I decided against that idea. To many factors go into inquiring a mortgage, credit score,down payment, interest rates,the state you live in, etc,etc. Then my "EveryDollar" App reminds that rent is due in a few days, and not to forget to input the amount (as if I'd forget rent) and an idea pops in my head. Happy dance! I got my idea!
Today is the last day of the month and the last day for writing here on 100 words. It isn't easy squeezing what would usually be pages of my thoughts in to 100 words. It was an interesting, enjoyable, yet frustrating assignment. I wrote here, instead of in my journal. Although I did put all my stickies notes,ripped out pieces of papers and daily calendar notes into my journal, I didn't write any thing down. I wanted to focus on keeping how I felt to the minimum because some of my quotes took up alot of my 100 words.
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