We sat through presentations on learning styles and cultural differences. I was disappointed that it took the whole day. Anna and I went early to eat at the small Senegalese restaurant in the Bricc. Not only a satisfying meal but it's cheap. We met up with JC at Sylvan's bar, which is just far enough out of the circumference of Omnisport that we didn't run into any of the other dozens of pcvs staying at the case. Anastasias' mother is very sick so Roger had to accompany her to the hospital. He isn't answering his phone. hope all is well.

We watched many presentations and finished PC work today. I have a few days to fill for May but most is already posted. Roger is way too inaccessible. He has tons of work to do tomorrow at the Prime Minister's house but wants to see me after and before I return to Akonolinga. I hate leaving town when we haven't seen enough of each other and going home to rest quietly by myself and realize how little I've seen of him. It causes problems. I came in right at curfew and everyone is in bed or out at a club.

I got things done around the caz this morning. An e-mail from the acting country director about timing for the clearance papers throws off the dates we'd estimated and once again stresses me out. Roger came for an hour during lunch and agreed that I should stay in town into next week in an attempt to get things sorted. It's Saturday but he rushed back to work and said that after he has to go back to finish work in Biyeme Assi. By early evening I was bored sitting around and convinced a group to come out for a beer.

Thank you baby for acknowledging me and entertaining me during the daylight hours. It was a special treat to meet up with your friends au quartier, buy them beer and pay for that guy's lunch because of a misunderstanding over cultural politeness. Then I so enjoyed watching you play pool for hours with no words in between. Competitive and concentrated you not only noticed nothing else around, you obviously don't care about me.
Or maybe you were testing me
or trying to be extra cool.
Neither is cool with me.
Sorry you can't read the sarcasm thick between these lines.

Suddenly I was very eager to return home and stop lingering for snippets of conversation and processing papers. I packed my bag last night. I was up at 5:15am and at Inter-Voyage just after 6am.
I took an hour to unpack before taking a moto 15k out to Abem to join the inter-caisse meeting explaining the details of the big reconfiguration. There're many changes. I don't know if I trust the motivations of MiFed but most of the changes are being imposed by COBAC. Bienvenu has remained in YaoundÃÆ'© too ill to attend the last inter-caisse meeting under his watch.

I slept over 9 hours last night. I road back out to Abem with Charlotte in the MiFed pick-up. They dissolved the current unions and explained the election process for the new Centre Province structure. We finished by early afternoon. Back in Akonolinga I invited the guys from Koum and Mde Isendi to the Cave, I chatted with Kanaga at Le Notre and hung out a bit with Alan and Djoki at the boutique. I've been doing the rounds greeting people. I wobbled home and made some pasta.

I have 3 more months in Akonolinga and few plans to travel.

Djoki found me cranky and hungry after hours of playing solitaire on the office computer. He took me to lunch at 10iem Arret. Then we went back to the office. I helped him prepare a Powerpoint presentation for the Plan regional staff meeting.

I visited Solange and the kids. We watched some neighbors smoke a huge rat out of tunnels under a palm tree.

The electricity is out.
Much thunder this afternoon, no rain.
Chantel's son came by this morning to see if I'd returned. I set up some paints for him while he waited for his mother to arrive.

Finally well enough rested I woke at 5am this morning. When the caz is full it's impossible to go to bed early and after 2 weeks there I was completely exhausted. I've been in bed before 9pm the last 3 nights in a row.
It's only Thursday but feels like a weekend. The mornings have been foggy and cool. The days heat up under the scorching sun. I will check in with the folks at the SAIMED office and then come home and work on my overdue quarterly report.
Later:
I finished reading Forest People.
Played setting up an ExcelWorksheet.

I woke with a clearer head this morning. Simply happy. It's been awhile and it feels good.
I went to market and visited many people. Spent most of the day shooting the breeze. I got some work started finally with the tailor and we set an appointment for next week. In the meantime he's keeping track of his expenses. He says that writing things down has already changed his spending habits.
I came home and played a bit with the girl next door.
The air is heavy, dark clouds pass. I hope it truly storms in the night.
Xxo X

Visit from Magloire before noon. We hung out together at my place, chez le Notre, chez Coco and finally we watched the game at his place. The tour of town with my old buddy, news from Mfou, family updates, SAIMED gossip. A good even day. I didn't get much done at my place but I have plenty of time to take care of such things. Levy is less brutal and is easier to play with, I made him laugh several times.
There're women singing too loudly across the way. They don't seem to have any intention of stopping anytime soon.

It's a gay day when a women finds a new girlfriend, an open spirit, the sharing of troubles, advice and food mixed with giggles. It's late in my stay here but I've found a valuable new friend.

I spent most of the day around town with Aloys who is "President of the Organization Committee"for next week's assembly. He needs to find 125 beds in town And he needed to check in with the women who will cook all the meals. There are already whispers among the staff that it'll be badly done and that Aloys will pocket the money.

I came to YaoundÃÆ'© this morning expecting a quick turn-around trip including a visit to the bank and a short discussion with the APCD. But alas I found upon my arrival at 8:30 am that there is a taxi strike which changed all my plans.
I've made no sign to Roger that I'm here since I've had no word from him since I left in a tantrum. But I do miss him. I've dug the void but I want to fall into his arms. African women say it's better NOT to love your husband, love gives men too much power.

I waited an hour or so for JC to pick me up this morning before I realized that the taxi strike has ended. Taxi fares are now 200 FCFA a ride. I really didn't feel well, sinuses clogged, upset stomach. I've lingered.
Late, after all the football matches, Roger sent a message that he knows I'm in town and wants to see me. We talked for an hour or so and agreed that there are things we need to work out - like having time together outside of bars to discuss our plans. He had a moving speech. I feel better.

Up again very early to get back to Akonolinga before the start of the large province wide general assembly. We spent the day reading bi-laws. I didn't have a copy and it was very hard to follow.
Wolf and Charlotte reprimanded the team for not helping Aloys with the organization.
I came home to shower before going to dinner. I talked with and got to know people from other departments. There was much talk of previous volunteers Joanna, Tina and Veronica. Aloys and his friend walked me to my door. It's very late and I'm exhausted. I'll stumble to bed.

The second & last day of the assembly was very eventful. The board of directors of the new Union was elected without troubles.
Ze Oundoua will be vice president.
Mme Isendi got a place.
BBS was left behind in the local union. He wasn't happy about it.
The President of NKO was the happiest I've ever seen her. The village Chief has been sentenced to a year in jail for refusing to reimburse his loan for years.
A surprise announcement, Aloys will be Director of the U3C!
The SAIMED ladies were grumpy and obstinate.
I called Roger for his birthday.

It rained early morning which finally broke the scorching heat of the last few days. I found Cecile in the office working on a mission report. Everyone else must have helped themselves to a day off. Aloys has gone to YaoundÃÆ'© to work at the Mifed office. It was announced yesterday that he will be the director of the newly created Union of CVECAs and CECAs du Centre "U3C-. I visited Pauline briefly and got home before the rain started again. The last few days have been exhausting. I've spent the afternoon reading, writing, playing Tetris and drinking hot tea.

In the mid afternoon I went to the boutique to buy some unsweetened condensed milk for my coffee from Rachel. I noticed Magloire's door open and was surprised that Alene must be home. I'd figured that she'd traveled directly after her exams. I went over to pop my head in and say hello and found Magloire home for the weekend. Pleasant surprise, lots of news. I had a marmite au fer and things to finish at home so I didn't stay long but I returned to watch the USA world cup game in the evening and enjoy the good company.

My sinuses really are clogged each morning and it's been cold, dropping into the 60's. I need a hot bucket bath before heading to market.

I have running water again! It's been off since March due to a dispute with the water company. Mme Bodo must have slowly paid for all the water that flowed into the road. It's nice to be able to wash my hands under the tap again and flush the toilet easily.

Magloire arrived to pack up his house with tons of news from CRATAD.
I'm going to market, keep myself occupied while waiting for Roger.

Roger arrived last night just before nightfall and left this morning at dawn. It was a brief visit but a nice one. We watched World Cup matches at Magloire's, had dinner at Le Notre. Magloire has packed up his house and will come back with a truck to move when he has a chance.
I quickly passed by the office and then went to visit Solange before coming home to nap off the decongestants I'd taken early morning. I'm drinking Citronella with ginger and honey. It's heating up and soothing my system.
Bienvenu is still hiding out sick in YaoundÃÆ'©.

I spent the morning at home. Djoki came by to check my schedule and warn me that he needs help this week writing his annual evaluation report.
I passed by the office and talked briefly with Mathieu before going to work with the tailor. We had a good work session about how to budget, strategies for saving and keeping track of expenses. His homework is to put together another, more detailed preliminary budget for his household as well as his business.
The cable isn't working Chez Le Notre so I'm missing England's match.
My throat's sore, should head to bed...

I hope I can get myself into the right mindset to really write this morning. I'd gotten off to a good start last week but I don't have a dependable rhythm. And when my head clouds with contemplations on my engagement I get completely lost. Is he worthy of me? Why has he been acting so strangely recently? What would I gain from marrying him? What would I preserve from flying away? Do I suffer from so much doubt because it's a big step and I'm scared of commitment or because there is really something sour about the whole affair?

I went to sleep narrating to myself in a much more eloquent prose than I found yesterday. I've been hacking sentences out, trying to feel through the dark and remember how things unfolded.

I'm tempted to rewrite yesterday. I'm in the habit of veiling my doubts as I also reign in my joy with phrases like ‘we had a nice visit'. I'm a yo-yo with intense feelings.

Djoki will pick me up soon to spend the day in Mengang celebrating the day of the African Child. Bienvenu is expected to reappear today after three weeks in YaoundÃÆ'© with a headache.

I haven't yet mentioned the rainbow of the other day - while sitting at Coco's MTN container bar a full arch rainbow stretched over the valley and the Nyong. It eventually sprinkled a bit and then the rainbow was washed away.

There have been many moments in the past week when I've stopped and realized that I'm very happy here. Moments when I've said to myself, it's this scenery, this view of the road, breeze, motorcycle ride, friend, smoked pork, song, smiling child, strange joke, or gossip, that I will miss, that I will look back on and remember fondly.

I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico, Aloys, Mathieu and Sirdiki. I was out last night with Nico. Sorry for the empty day.

It was a cool misty morning. I lingered in bed. Eventually Djoki and his friend Alene picked me up and pulled me out of my funk. She wanted me to meet her brother. He's a nice man, he carried my bags back from market. My propane tank is empty so I ate tuna fish and curled up with a collection of short stories by African women writers. I'm ploughing through it.
I need my balance back. All the activity in town has been helping. But I have no idea what the week ahead has in store for me.

Abina tapping on my metal door woke me just after 6am. For a split second I considered ignoring him but instead I quickly got up and dressed. We rode out again about 5k but today I made it up the hardest hill to the Bondi intersection. My legs were tighter today but I had more strength and am learning when to use which gears. Abina is the perfect companion to get me going. He instructs me when to change gears and then pushes me on - pedal, pedal, go fast. I am going to get into shape. It's already feeling good.

It was a full day. I slept in a bit. I wrote, stretched, bathed and ate. Then I worked with the tailor for 2 hours before walking home via the market. Roger called. I watched the Ghana vs Brazil game chez le Notre. A visitor arrived with a basket of fruits. I broke his heart, took him out for a beer, put him back on the bus. Aloys came to pick me up we ended up back chez le Notre to eat grilled fish and watch most of the France Spain game. Abina will wake me early to cycle again.

I talked with Mathieu today. It was depressing to hear the intricacies of the corruption from his calm mouth. He earns 47,000cfa ($95) per month and is owed 3 months back salary. Recently everyone, including the guardian, was paid 100% of a months salary besides Mathieu who got less than 50%. He had his details of what the director has been up to. I can't ponder the details for long without my stomach turning. He says the woman in our office "exploited"herself to win the contract from the ministry of health. Nod, wink, I know what that means. Sickening.

I didn't leave the house today. Chantal told me she was sending her son au village over two weeks ago. I haven't seen her since. So today I tackled my laundry which has always been the most difficult chore for me, especially here washing everything by hand. I washed a set of cotton jersey sheets, several towels, dresses, t-shirts, pants, pajamas, exercise clothes and tea towels. There's still more for tomorrow. I did some writing. The neighbor kids came over to paint and then we played cards (a game like UNO) together. I got some work done this evening. GoodNight.

I got my hair braided today, small red rastahs. The girls insisted on bending and curling the braids. I didn't like the finishing touches and came home and soaked them in hot water to straighten them out. Roger called to see if I was already cooking his bouillon. So it looks like he really will arrive tomorrow. I'm ready to welcome him.

It was the last day of MiFed's contract with SAIMED and all the staff are waiting for phone calls from YaoundÃÆ'© to see if they have been hired by Mifed. Nobody wants to work for or trusts Bienvenu.