I have seen this woman with beautiful brown flowing hair. Her eyes were the most gorgeous set of dark-chocolate circles that I had ever seen. Her presence created a comfort inside of me that made me feel like I have known her forever. I still think about her when I am at work or at school. I think about her smooth, tan cleavage and how good her breasts would feel if I could be touching them this very minute. I think about the day that I married her on April 2, 1994 and how much I still love her today.

Do not try to carve wood in your lap with your pocket knife. It is very possible that you could slip with the knife and slice your thigh wide open. If this happens, you may cut through an artery and bleed all over the floor. And you know how mad Mom can get when you mess up her freshly cleaned floor. My suggestion would be to drain all of your blood outside first. This way if you accidentally cut yourself, you will not get anything on the floor. I make this suggestion only because I am thinking of you first.

I have been watching the elections and presidential debates this year. I am therefore convinced that if you threw G.W. Bush in a barrel of tits, he'd come out sucking his thumb! I suppose that is what makes it ironic that I will vote for him anyway. Sometimes moral fiber is more valuable than intellect. After all, what good is a smart man who can't see the wrong in what he supports? History shows that our greatest failures, resulted when our intellect exceeded our morals. Sometimes the benefits of certain actions, cloud the consequences of the poor wisdom of it.

Again, I find myself writing another essay. I've considered better ways to use my time; like studying for my next exam, or tending my marital duties. It's funny that such a small presentation of ideas can take such time to configure. At least it seems like a long time. Perhaps I just do this to avoid valid work; like taking out the trash, or washing the car. The more time I spend thinking, the more I wish I weren't. Maybe instead of thinking about how to use my time, I should just use my time and think about it later.

I remember in my younger days, I was ignorant. I believed in so many things, yet I believed in nothing. So like all who educate themselves in order to make their lives better, I have set my mind to be wise and to recognize madness and folly but I realize that this is like chasing the wind. Because in much wisdom there is much sorrow, and increasing knowledge also increases pain. With every new thing that I learn, I am troubled by the ignorance of others on the matter and am angry that it's more complicated than it need be.

My dog is smart. She does not make a mess in the house. She isn't as bitchy as my spouse. She does not care about anyone's problems. She does not waste time trying to solve them. She does not care about yesterday or tomorrow. She is immune to regret and sorrow. She is happy to eat my table scraps. She also eats my baseball caps. She is content with her place on the kitchen floor. She always greets me at the door. She is always happy to see me. She probably wants to be me. My dog is very smart.

Once when I was little, I suppose I was about 7 or 8, we lived in a tent on the ocean shore. It was a short time, but a fun time. Some would call it homelessness and others would call it camping. We didn't choose to be there but were there because of circumstance. Times were hard then, but I didn't know it. It's funny that the hardest times in life, are the times when we have the most fun. I long for the next chance to swim, and fish another meal from the ocean I have grown to love.

I've figured out the secret to life! It's quite simple really, nothing complicated. I'm convinced that with this secret revealed to me, I will have a long and full life. Do you want to know this secret that I have found? How unfortunate for you that I won't tell you or anyone the secret I have found. Because then I would have to spend my long fruitful life, putting up with you, in your long fruitful life. There just isn't enough room for the both of us to live forever. So I'll just live it for the both of us!

Soon I will sneak into my bed. The love of my life is there waiting for the bringer of her pleasures. This is the only work that is truly enjoyed by any man. In fact, I will work harder in the next two hours than I have all day. I'm sure that I will push my physical limits greatly and that I will endure many emotional states. I will say words of endearment and receive them also. Why so eager to begin? Because the 10 second reward at the end of this job, is greater than any amount of money.

This is a special calculation that I have made regarding my private relationship with my wife. I have estimated that in the last ten solar years, we averaged 3 sexual acts each day. After adding extra acts a year for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries, this number is increased by 40. I then deleted 5 days out of each month because of her menstrual cycle. This eliminated 180 possible orgasms each year and makes a total loss of 1,800 sexual opportunities. This means that we have had sex approximately 9,550 times during the first ten years of our young married lives.

There is nothing like the fresh, buttery aroma of popcorn. The movie theater experience just would not be the same without it. I wonder how so much stuff pops out of such a little kernel? There are many kinds to eat, such as toffee flavored, caramel with nuts, buttered, or kettle style. I remember as a kid popping corn and stringing it to put on the Christmas tree. My kids carry on that tradition but they prefer the colored kernels. Popcorn has worked its way into our culture. Thank you, to whoever first thought of the idea of popping corn.

Some times I wonder why God made men with hairy asses. I've seen many women's rumps and they are all smooth as silk. They have round, plump, and some even have tight asses, yet not one hair exists on them. It's so hard to get your butt hole clean using toilet paper that I couldn't imagine how Adam got his clean with leaves in the Garden of Eden. This hairy ordeal is not fair to man. I have booked many hours for different bathroom purposes but this one takes the cake. Thank you (God) for my fuzzy work of art.

I wish I could sleep with a thousand snakes. I would entangle my body around each and every one of them. I would let them bite me on every inch of my body. I would name them with names from the bible and give them equal amounts of attention. My snakes would be very happy living in my bed. They would never want to leave. I can't understand why other people don't want to sleep with snakes. They're so beautiful and colorful. They have a sexy way of maneuvering their bodies and an exotic jaw dropping way of eating rats.

I am a manufacturing engineer for T.S.E. (Technical Sales and Engineering.) Industries in Freemont. It is the worst company that I have ever worked for. They spend thousands of dollars investigating whether or not you're smoking in the parking lot and no money on productivity. This past week, I have been sitting in my office playing solitaire instead of making the company money. They have no clue as to what I do all day. I recently received a raise and an excellent evaluation. I believe that this company will eventually go out of business and I'll laugh when they do.

If I had the ability to fly, I would fly to Canada. I would not fly across the ocean because I believe that would be very boring. There definitely wouldn't be anything to look at but water. If I chose to fly over the U.S.A., the trip would be filled with beautiful scenery. I could see the mountains and lakes. There would be a variation of beautiful landscapes that could be seen from the sky. I am jealous of the birds and sometimes wish I could be one. Then I think about eating worms and I completely change my mind.

Today I waited in a line to exercise my right and vote. I was impressed at how easy it was to pick candidates with the new computer system. I believe it's unfortunate that people actually claim that they are confused because of the way things work. I wish people would vote and be happy with the outcome. Still there are people who claim unfairness because the party that they voted for was not elected. Maybe these types of dishonest people are a reflection of who they are voting for. It's probably a good thing that their candidate is not elected.

Why do models walk the catwalk in outfits that are never worn in public? They wear sluttish looking dresses and see-through tops that show their nipples. I will be the first to admit that these women are very sexy but the outfits make them look ridiculous. Some of the women look anorexic and sickly. I wonder how much money they make for the short period of time they spend showing off their small breasts and stupid clothing line. My daughter could design better clothes and she is only 9. You have to think that these models know they look ridiculous.

I have mixed feelings about where I like to be in the winter. In the north there is usually a white Christmas and the lights glisten beautifully in the snow. You can spend a brisk sunny day sledding, skiing, or building a snowman. Hot, steamy cocoa and a bowl of soup go down just right. In Florida it's warm during the winter. There's no need to bundle up before leaving the house. There is no need to get up an hour earlier for work to shovel snow or dig out the car. I think winter is best in the south.

I drank myself to oblivion last weekend. I recall sitting on the floor next to the pot. The heater must not have been working that day because the house was very hot. My warm cheek found comfort against the cold toilet rim. The smell of vomit permeated the room and each time I inhaled, it provoked more heaving. I recall seeing pubic hair on the rim of the toilet and briefly wondering who it came from. Mostly though, I remember not thinking about any of my responsibilities, specifically my next 100 word essay. Next weekend I will do it again.

I sprayed the hairspray until the can was emptied. The remaining space in the chamber held the can's full contents easily. One stroke of my hand and the bolt is locked in place. No gases will escape, because the projectile has sealed the chamber. The barrel is some two inches in diameter and five feet long. I carefully raise it to my eye, and press shiny black button. There is a fast zipping sound and the projectile is released. It travels far and lands heavily in the field beyond. Many potatoes will grow in that place. God bless my spud-gun!

I watched turtles mate on Discovery today. The slow motions of the little creatures reminded me that women like it slow. I was amused at the moaning sounds that radiated from them. Seeing their enjoyment, I decided to attempt the same thing with my own wife. She didn't notice me crawling slowly across the bedroom floor. In fact, my turtle like movement allowed me to make it onto the bed unnoticed. I began to move into position when, she awoke from her slumber. She watched me briefly, pouted and then went back to sleep. Sometimes slower isn't better after all.

I sure do miss autumn in the northern states. September brings mild days and pleasant nights. The harvest begins for the farmers and they reap in the corn, beans, and wheat. The squirrels scurry for nuts and the deer graze on the fallen corn. As October rolls around, the colors peak. The leaves turn a vibrant red, pumpkin orange and golden yellow. You can smell the freshness in the cool air, mixed with wood smoke from evening fires in cozy homes. I do miss these things living in Florida but at least I can swim or fish here during fall.

Spring sucks in the north parts of the country. Rain, sleet, snow and fierce winds race through in March. It is cold and you are sick of winter. Worst of all, it is March Madness so there isn't anything on TV except basketball. April comes with slightly warmer weather but there is still the occasional snow or sometimes sleet. Everything is muddy and the streets are covered in disgusting colored dirty slush. Whoever said that "April showers bring May flowers," sure glamorized April. At least in May it warms up and you can go outside to relieve your cabin fever.

At the beach I saw something that triggered my gag reflex. There was a woman sunbathing and when she stood up, I nearly vomited. I normally have no problem with seeing fat ladies on the beach. I'm usually to busy watching my kids and don't have time to watch other people. This lady had a dozen rolls of lard and it appeared as though she wasn't wearing a bikini bottom. After a second, I realized her bottoms must be concealed under all the flaps of fat. Worst of all she bent over and I will leave the story at that.

Last night I watched a special on Nickelodeon about flatulence. I can only imagine what it would be like to be a small cloud of this stinky gas. I would have to travel several miles through the intestines on my way to the anus. I might need to squeeze my way past large chunks of feces and slide my way through some liquid squirts. It's also possible that I could become trapped behind a huge load of peanut-filled stool for days. I might even make a friend with a local tape worm before finally finding freedom through the "brown eye."

I am getting tired of writing every day of the week. My philosophy teaches expects one paper each week and this week there is an essay due. I also have English papers due every day on this website. I just finished a paper for criminology and a test for juvenile delinquency class. I have an essay due for sociology on Friday along with a test that Saturday and an essay is included in that exam. I need to turn in a paper for English tomorrow and I also have to drive to Gainesville for a test I am taking there.

I like generating code on my C.A.D. /C.A.M. software at work. It's a very interesting process that requires the aid of C.A.D. (computer aided drafting) software and a little knowledge of how the system works. After you utilize the solid frame options in the systems database, you simply connect to the integrated tab that allows the computer to write coordinates at every point on the design. This software alone costs over 14,000 dollars just for one seat. My computer has approximately 24,000 dollars worth of design software installed yet I can't get the company to buy me a new chair.

What I am about to say is going to be hard to believe but I will say it anyway. I am a 29 years old man and have been married for almost 11 years. I have 5 children all by the same woman. I have been completely faithful to my wife and I'm very proud of that fact. I have owned 2 homes at one time and over 100 acres of land. I have taken residence if 5 states and have traveled through most of the country. I have driven on beaches, mountains and even a volcano in New Mexico.

My first day of English class, I told my teacher that I grew up where George Bush was born. My mother told me this when I was small. The teacher informed me that the president was actually born in Maine and I was incorrect. After talking with my mother, I learned that I misinterpreted what she told me and found out that my teacher was also wrong. President Bush was born on July 6, 1946, in New Haven, Connecticut, and he grew up in Midland, Texas where I was born. Bush also met his wife in Midland at a barbeque.

I believe I have a mental flaw that prevents me from listening in class. This flaw sometimes costs me vital bits of information that my brain blocks out. When I hear the instructor say something that is incorrect, I spend every remaining minute of the lecture thinking that he is improvising. Most of the problem is that I have learned a lot about law and the ways that the laws work. There are many rumors and falsehoods told and when I hear one of them, it drives me crazy. I'll want to say something, but I just sit there instead.

This is my final 100 word entry. I've had a lot of fun writing nice things and some crazy things. I have tried to shock you and make you laugh. I hope I succeeded in making your emotions shift from each passing entry. Maybe my creativity will make up for the lack of education I've apparently had. I feared in the beginning, that I would hate this class but I was wrong. It has been interesting and it has also been exciting. I hope that I made reading these papers fun and that you looked forward to reading each one.