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I hate incompletes. They're the academic equivalent of constipation. I wonder if having multiple incompletes is therefore equivalent to super constipation? The only real difference between incompletes and constipation is that you'll do anything possible to relieve yourself of constipation; drink water, pop pills, and turn blue on the toilet seat until you feel as if your whole intestinal track will shoot out your rearend. With academic constipation, on the other hand, you'll do anything possible to avoid the confrontation and sedate the agony involved; its something that should have been done long ago. Maybe I should start popping pills...
Went to Pittsburgh today for a friend's birthday; was hyperactive all day. Stuffed myself full of Indian food at the buffet with Faraz until we both hurt. Then tried to go to the zoo, but it was closed. The security guard there was a funny guy. I asked him, "How fast can you run?" implying I was going to disappear into the zoo anyway. His eyes' glimmer as he said, "Fast enough." Neetu was pretty upset that she couldn't get the free monkey I promised her for her birthday; maybe next year. Got back to Meadville, went to the pub.
I get angry with myself a lot. I can never seem to get anything done on time, and I don't know why. Is it apathy? Am I just so incredibly board by what I'm doing that I feel its not worth doing? Or am I intimidated by the harrowing possibility of failure? I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure both of those things have something to do with it, and there's probably a lot of other minor things I haven't given enough credit to. I need a way out of this infernal existence. Somethings missing, but what is it?
Subscribed to emusic today, and holy shitznot! Geuranteed quality mp3s with appropriate id3 tags, all at the cost of about one cd a month. Life just got a hell of a lot better when Isaac Hayes, John Coltrane, and Miles Davis came over to hang out for a little jam session in my room (all the ladies were quite jealous.)
Gil: Damn right.
Gil: Can you dig it?
IH: Right oooon.
Oh, some wierdos with turntables and a hell of a lot of "E" came too, but they were turned away at the door.
Evidently there was a meeting yesterday evening for juniors and seniors doing the comp proposal. However, I wasn't notified of this fact even though I'm signed up for the stinkin one credit class. The head of the department was peaved even though it wasn't my fault that THEY forgot about ME. It was all cool in the end though, met with Prof. Tamashiro whom I had already talked to about being my comp advisor. Thank god the profs here are kewl, they're the only asset this college has. As opposed to the administration who seem to be a fat liability.
Today was a great day for several reasons. 1. I'll be continuing my research for a prof. in about a month, and into the summer.
2. I've found a senior comp topic that I'm interested in, AND is realistic in scope of an undergraduate degree to be completed in one year.
3. I'll be writing at least one other big paper this term that, assuming I do well on, I can put on my resume.
But why the hell are they all work related? Such happenstance requires drunken celebration, but its not quarter wing and/or draft night. Oh, phooey!
Gilbert Wilson, public citizen, children advocate.
For the first time today I called my congressional representatives. I wanted to voice my concerns and opinion per campaign finance reform. Each call only lasted about thirty seconds, but it was incredible. I should have started this four years ago when I turned 18. Although at that time I would have voiced my concern over their job performance and to warn them that if they screwed up I was going to become disillusioned like the other 60% of Americans; that I would be watching... I have a lot of catching up to do.
Went out to see a movie with Faraz tonight, we saw Ocean's 11. Great movie, one of the rare ones that are actually fulfilling, you don't walk out of the theater feeling cheated or disgusted with yourself. A rare evening in Meadville that was interesting AND fun. Of course, ambushing Faraz with my jeep when he came to pick me up started everything on a good note as we pealed around campus chasing each other... a dangerous stunt that I'm 99% not likely to do. I'm usually pretty cautious, but boredom is a powerful black magic not to be tempted.
Crap, great weather always comes at the worst times in February, if great weather is to come at all. Example A, today. Instead of working all day as planned I took to the asphalt in the jeep with a friend, windows rolled down, wind in our hair. Got a quick lunch then visited a bunch of car dealers since they were all closed and we cold gawk without being bothered. A lot of talk about different things, of my favorite a continuing conversation on traveling around the country upon graduation in a 1965 Mustang. But alas, dream first, money later...
Time is linear, life is cyclical. Man that's weird. This time last year I was in a massive rut, like so many that have come before. And now I'm running on cloud nine, things couldn't be better. But at the same time I don't think I've had so much work to do, and that's a big bar to hurdle. Nothing can catch me, I'm invincible. Meanwhile my friends seem to be falling like flies, and I feel helpless about it. For the first time in a long time I'm not looking at others wishing to be anyone but me. Whoa.
I hate my political science junior seminar. This is for two reasons. The first is that I haven't learned anything new. The second is that the entire class thus far has consisted of statistical data, which brings me back to the first reason... And to make matters worse, the one book I like everyone else in the class hates. Interestingly, its also the only reading thus far to offer solutions for our shitty welfare system. I think that may be because they all sniffed out the communist undertones of it -- that we should care about others in our communities. FreeMarket-sluts.
Cxxxx Mxxxxxx killed himself on campus last night around 10pm. Well-organized, laid back, popular in his fraternity, and a nice girlfriend; at least that's what I've heard. We always seem to sanctify people after they have passed away. Especially when someone commits suicide. Instead of becoming angry with that person we become sad and blame ourselves.
Its odd, but for such a small college no one seems to be that affected. My classes went forward as usual, there were no quite whispers, or silent tears. If I hadn't gotten an email I wouldn't even have known. Life goes on.
Today I am using this 100 words opportunity to procrastinate. My two remaining incompletes are due tomorrow by 4:00pm. Thus far I've done a pretty good job of keeping up in my regular work while working on these things, considering that I was sick all break and did very little on them at that time. So the question remains. Will I ruin an entire terms worth of work because of one evening? That's a scary thought. Why does it always come down to the last day? Even Jesus waited until the last possible moment to directly confront Satan, that slacker.
I finished my incompletes exactly 45 minutes ago, Bwa- hah-hah! I'm so ecstatic I'm going to the bar right now to start drinking, 3:30pm. My nuclear deterrence paper was pretty good, although it could have used a little more elaboration and polish, but at 25 pages it was getting a little long in the tooth. As for my East Asia final exam… I've never written a crappier essay and been so happy; turning en somffin' iz betta' den nottin'!
On another note, go campaign finance reform! Congressman James Greenwood voted yes because of me. Congressman Phil English can suck it, hardcore.
The two gunmen rode throughout the night. Alone, with only the barren cornfields of an Ohio winter to keep them company; the companionship of crickets a forgotten memory. He pulled his shotgun a little closer, not necessarily for comfort, but reassurance. It was going to be a long night, the only time for stopping an hour ago, an infernal Bob Evans. One of hundreds along the way, it seemed. They were as common around here as a drunken farmer's story of alien abduction. Maybe there was a connection between the two, it didn't matter, it was now a forgotten memory.
Cincinnati is a surprisingly nice city. I wouldn't mind spending a weekend here to explore. Yes, it has its blighted areas, like any other city, but the central city area looks clean and polished – an anomaly for an American city. Perhaps more so for the east coast than the west. Even stranger is the fact that this is in Ohio. I've always thought of this state as just an extension of western Pennsylvania. I may have to rethink that assumption.
People talk about city skylines with a lot of pride; I think Cincinnati is an undiscovered gem in this respect.
Got back from Cincinnati last night, god, for the amount of time we traveled I could have gone home, or at the very least I could have taken a side detour up to Earlham to visit some old friends that I haven't talked to in a while. To boot the bastard didn't even buy the classic car he drug me down there to look at. Overall, however, it was a good trip – a lot of bullshitting etc. Although to be realistic about this I shouldn't have gone, too much work to do, not enough time. But hey, that's life, bitch.
I don't know what to write for today, it's a bullshit drill in the androgynous repetitively of what's turned into the seven day workweek of the American lifestyle, and I'm in college so I shouldn't have any complaints in the world. At this point I think I can say that too, I don't have any complaints. Except for maybe a little more free time – which I would waste, therefore I don't want it – things are going pretty well. I'm already feeling nervous about the NATO conference, and I just realized that my nuclear policy brief is due in one week.
Mxxx was chewed-out in NATO today by Prof. Meleshevich for writing a terrible policy brief. I saw it coming. I had Prof. Meleshevich last semester, he did the same thing to a different student. It's harsh, but I can see why he did it. We're a team, and we're relying on one another to do well.
No one in the class could look Mxxx in the eyes, we were embarrassed for him. We all just looked at the floor. The only thing I could think of at the time was, "Oh shit I better do a good job on Sunday."
Tomorrow a French diplomat is coming to speak with us, and answer any questions we may have about French foreign policy. It's going to be sweet. This is what college is suppose to be about, important people in the present coming to speak and give guidance and wisdom to the important people of the future (if I may be so bold as to make such an assumption about us and the future.) That's what attracted me to Oxford for a short time last year. They have bigwigs come once a week for audience-wide debates. Damn I want to go there.
I'm the luckiest fucking bastard in the world. After class today, because of an egregious schedule conflict, I got to take the place of Prof. Meleshevich for a private dinner with Mr. Errera (the French diplomat). This had more to do with the fact that I had a car to take Mr. Errera to the airport with than being a stupendous student, but whatever I'll take what I can get. So there I am with Prof. Tamashiro eating dinner with a diplomat in a posh restaurant on Allegheny's tab. It was awesome. I could have people killed for me now.
We had an extra class for NATO today so that a Ukrainian diplomat could speak to us. Unlike the French diplomat, whom I had expected to look like Jacque Chirac and didn't, the Ukrainian diplomat looked exactly as I expected – heavy graying beard and a think accent. Overall it was pretty useless. He had some interesting comments, but since only two people in the class will be representing Ukraine at the conference the rest of us we're out of the loop. I asked him a couple questions, which he "skillfully" avoided answering as per official diplomatic doctrine, to my frustration.
I can barely think straight right now. I've been working on my policy paper all day, and staring at a computer screen with a head full of French nuclear policy jargon when all I really want is a beer. Now everything is dependant on waking up at six am, like I have for the past week and a half, to finish this thing by noon so that I can present to the class at one. I hate timetables, they never work out. If anything I love 100 words for giving me this timeout at one am. Things should be good.
Whoo. Today was close. Though my nuclear policy brief was damn good I neglected to fully follow directions. Instead of writing about "Theater Missile Defense" I wrote about "National Missile Defense." Prof. Meleshevich almost pounced on me for that starting out, "You have written an excellent paper, but…" thankfully most of the questions were stuff I knew off the top of my head, and the one's I didn't know I knew where I could get the answers. Disaster avoided. In the long run I think this is good. I've now covered MORE than what was required; we're prepared for anything.
Having class on Sunday is the worst idea ever. It makes Monday ten times worse, its indescribable. It's like an episode of star trek involving space-time continuums bad. Only you have a hang over while watching the whole thing as an added "luxury." EE-gad. Now I know why we have church and football on Sunday instead. We need constitutional amendments to ensure that this cannot happen in the future. Call out the National Guard, but watch out for those New York regiments they're traitors, and yellow bellied, too.
On another note we leave tomorrow for Washington D.C., the plot thickens.
We pulled into D.C. sometime past midnight. My eyes can't get use to all the eye candy of the city. Tomorrow, I'm sure, my taste buds will be equally overloaded by the diversity of city food. Though if my stomach is any indication I won't be eating much for the next few days. The night was mostly spent in the hotel room nervously flipping through notes to pick up any last minute facts that might have been missed without much luck. Though, if anything that's probably a good sign of my preparation for this. I wish I felt that way.
Today was spent mostly in orientation. The keynote speaker was both entertaining and informative. During question and answers I asked him a about the effect NATO expansion might have on the UN and "North vs. South" relations (in an elaborated manner.) People were evidently blown away by my comments. A dozen people congratulated me on asking such an "incredible question." A professor from another school said he wished I was in his class. My professors were grinning from ear to ear. To be perfectly honest I was shocked by the response, and a bit high from the very open recognitions.
We met briefly yesterday evening in our committees and I was able to manipulate the agenda to more easily suit French interests. Today, however, was a lesson in frustration. The "crisis" simulation began and the Nuclear Planning Group was tasked with advising a response to a "terrorist" attack on the United Kingdom. This ruined our proposal for the creation of a "nuclear facility security training base" in France for the purposes of preventing proliferation, as it was dropped to deal with "current events." In addition, the US began to flex its political clout slightly undermining our control of the agenda.
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