11/01 Direct Link
Mentally unstable on cellphone half-crying to boyfriend. Defecates. Older woman rushes to help. I rise from ground. mosquito-eater near ceiling battling bat. dust ball gone crazy. ashes. huge turtle burnt. Still alive. snake. Bat gets eaten. heading to children. woman yelling to husband Get the children! snake has boy in mouth. woman pulling. boy free with blood and missing leg. snake has girl. mother pulling. girls head explode fluid. can't live. horrifying and I wake up extremely upset. Someone just rang bell and loudly knocked. said here to repair ceiling. ladders ready. have wrong place. real not part of dream.
11/02 Direct Link
Filled out form to be a ballet dancer. Chose a group plus another person to be with. European man teacher. To be considered I needed to bring him French fries, bread, and coca cola. Kept looking in places bars, etc. but couldn't find it all. Had already dropped off a Mexican dish and told him I could microwave it to heat it up but he said it was ok. Earlier was following my friend Marlene who died years ago. Dirt road. She was driving fast. In a mall. Petted a horse. It was smiling and was more like a person.
11/03 Direct Link
Woman shows seating all around her house. Communal living. Cameraman for news. I have to use a battery. Flowers around. My dog in parking lot. My cousin picks him up he cries in pain. Holds too tight. He runs with larger dog. I worry. Dad comes in holding a gun. Says he needs to kill my dog because he wasn't good around a baby. Distressing. In reality my dog was killed by a larger dog. In reality in childhood my dad shot a cat. it killed all the kittens. was tomcat that would come into the basement through a window.
11/04 Direct Link
Slept through church service. Friend driving me home. Taxi pulls too close. Friend pulls ahead dents cab. driver has an accent maybe Czech. Whisper to him she is a nice person never up that way only to give me a ride. He says yes she seems like a nice person. My son is a boy. We have a swimming pool. I swim. I look for china to stock outdoor cupboard. Earlier had skull and crossbones flag like pirate. water in pool is clear, blue, serene. Two items on bottom wonder if I can hold my breath long enough to retrieve.
11/05 Direct Link
they were arguing said fine love you guys. like family. serious woman. man like old riding instructor. log like redwood drifted into water floating away. jump in despite dress and coifure. fish may have been shark. serious woman knew how to handle shark developed business around floating log. beat cop hunched over down street. I may have been on motorcycle rushing. hi went on. there in northpoint shopping center garage while he was having heart attack. Told man call 911 spoke to lady on phone saying he's having heart attack dying he's dead. went through transformation. he was skeleton head.
11/06 Direct Link
Had to cut sleep and dream time because of waking early for moronic workshop. Work related. Cannot believe people do these things. would rather have my head cut off with an ax than waste time the way I did today. Whistles. Pom poms. Loud music. Every right answer you get a baseball. When did I die and go to hell? Good God what has happened to people? thought it was supposed to be a class. This reads like a dream but it was not. 8:00 a.m. instead of teachers they were obese umpires. I don't get it. Balloons, raffle prizes
11/07 Direct Link
Tell my mother her mom should live closer. Why so far with no family close? I wanted to say she could live in the country house but knew it was too remote. we were in the country but not in the country. had three hour drive it was early morning she was on the phone with Wendy discussing where her mother should live. In reality mother's mother and Wendy's mother are passed away. My mother was on the phone half bickering with the distant cousin over my grandmother being in Los Angeles with the rest of us in other cities.
11/08 Direct Link
Son in car waiting. I check mailbox. In country. Have long drive ahead. Taking too long in the mailbox shed. Ripping up junkmail. Tell son had to clean in there. Later in house of parents when my son was born. It will be open to the public like a restaurant. I go upstairs to put on eyeliner. Man is bothering me so I push him out the bathroom door. My eyeliner is messy all over when a coarse man like a union organizer comes in. I hear everyone downstairs greeting the people. They will be going through this whole house.
11/09 Direct Link
So many dreams. Thought I'd remember without writing down but only the mulatto child remains. He was mine. Gorgeous with shoulder length blonde curls. Scanning the brain for more nothing shows up. Not able to spend time writing. Entry has to be quick easy. Have to dash down words and go. year must have passed the yoga Hawaii retreat coming up again. Tai chi class is close to ending and new semester beginning. End of hypnosis too. Condo is cluttered from lack of time from commutes and have to go eat before yoga, post office, straightening place, driving to country
11/10 Direct Link
Dream about little dog and possibility of adopting two. Then I was at the place to practice tai chi with the intermediate group. There were big arguments. A mansion. A ghost. I'm not wanting to think to write. Just burned rum cakes. Not a dream. I forgot I was baking and the poor cakes were black and hard. Gave the white Akita milkbones. Have to sweep leaves from the deck. Need to start up the Husqvarna so the battery doesn't die. What was that dream? It is almost coming out. An entranceway. Stairs. Something haunting. Should write in the night.
11/11 Direct Link
Crying To see long lost dining room set. Person used to work for us set it up needed extra seating. had in storage. the carved wood. Pulled over for speeding. Told him son is sergeant. Not given ticket thick foreign accent. German. sports event they pouring my wine into vat take it. Cousin came was announced the strongest man in the world maybe he wants the wine. deceased friend from childhood is selling antiques in her shop. I see strange dolls to buy. One in counter looks like breathing particles in stomach fell out so making doll crawl under sand.
11/12 Direct Link
Childhood friend deceased dream again. repeated it aloud during night. nun. mean. to rush four eggs in or out of refrigerator. Later say I wan't a good mother. Later the beat cop talks about a store lady who came on to him. A few of us think she was skinny and ugly. Childhood boys. I climb on an amoire pine cannot spell yell to the others don't look at me climbing up here they think it is funny that I have to climb awkwardly to get there. I run crazily on winding road to get away from salesmen in cars.
11/13 Direct Link
Childhood house. Laundryroom. Door to garage is a curtain blowing. Feral cats inside. Door cannot be shut because of a haunting. Later sister says she can stay in house when mom is away. Something about mom and a basketball. Later mom has a mansion similar to a castle with gold inlays and fancy curtains. Sister off work happy to watch little sibling. Later mom is in nightgown across the window unable to get to the house. Light outside one neighbor's apartment. Man tells her to come inside, she declines and talks to woman who seems trustworthy as they stay outside.
11/14 Direct Link
Sammy Davis Jr I pick up coin it is marshmallow laugh he put to his mouth I smear on his face whitey say he is like Al Jolson. Gathered family children car. cousin child missing crawled under bed. my mother street confusion brother says her number person's name Phil? cousin wants me buy stones jewelry soaks my hair with hose. middle of war. man angry child left. give him book wants CD tell his friend I will get not charge. standing with nervouslooking terroristtypes. Danger. run hear rumbles. Victorian buildings. run to mounds soft earth dry trees long twig branches.
11/15 Direct Link
It was as if I were awake looking at the corner ahead of me to the right past the window and I could see outside through a long jagged crack and words came into my mind saying my brother was definitely coming back. He is dead so I suppose he will come back from the dead or maybe be reincarnated or maybe he is coming back because this has all been illusion and he had never gone. There were more dreams but I was too tired to pull them up. Right now I am waiting to see if pain comes.
11/16 Direct Link
I am writing my dream on a blackboard. my boyfriend and a taxi driver are there. Do not want them to read over my shoulder. tell my boyfriend I wrote he looked like Jay Leno. He seems amused because he is Jay Leno. I keep kissing him. do not want to make the same mistakes of being cold to a man I love. He is ready to drive on in the taxi. I comply even though I want to look at the monkeys, puppies, and goats in the pet store window. The taxi driver has a goat which eats litter.
11/17 Direct Link
Four people signed up for line dancing. The chef didn't plan for it. Awkward. Embarrassing. Do not know what to tell them. Had extensions in my hair to get ready for sports event. Going with family. Took out extensions to re-arrange. Could not fix. Some turned blue in the sun. Daughter-in-law has something for me to read but have to fix this hair. Ask sister if she needs ride. Something about a young girl. Something about the dog. I have a husband. He brings a dishwasher home and I am not dressed. Have to hold something in front of me.
11/18 Direct Link
Something about my friend's brother and me. He is my boyfriend? Thought I was driving home from the country but then was at a gas station in a strange town as if I were in a movie. I kissed a man who looked like Johnny Depp. He was going to be my boyfriend but the scene changed to the future and Johnny Depp became that actor who had a lot of drug trouble and I was disappointed. Cannot remember his name but he played Charlie Chaplin. He would be more of a wild cousin than an appropriate boyfriend. Tired now.
11/19 Direct Link
The white Akita died but came back to life. Augustine Burroughs author of Running with Scissors was outside. I tell him how she died, was only a paw, and then was whole and alive. He goes in one door, I go in another. I have the Akita hugging her. I have a parrot in my room free to go anywhere now walking on top of a bureau. I ride a horse inside a room after clearing stuff on the floor. elderly teacher man is saying go faster. I tell him I'm doing fine for not being able to sit comfortably.
11/20 Direct Link
Sleeping on roof. Criminals irritated. they were to sleep there. Girl says top I'm wearing given to me by boyfriend is her relative's. Says he is using me. the one I dated who said he'd probably marry the girl who danced on table. He came back because he loved me. Mail came for him from school said fraud. He ripped it up I pieced it together he fled. It was for a girl not him. end I was a bloated girl with odd children. Mom shows a guy an odd dance step. I was married to him. The earlier guy.
11/21 Direct Link
Tell blonde girlfriend I play the part of George Clooney's girlfriend. I know I'm not pretty so it doesn't make sense. There he is off camera in a store. Bunch of guys. I say I'm heading out. Trying to be cool. My brother is trying on a part pink sweater. My aunt, uncle, and cousin are away but people are in their bed. I take cousins towels and clothes to wash. He is schizoprenic. Doesn't allow anyone in his room and things are mildewed. I have long, thin, wood switches and almost lost one. He would be upset. His switches.
11/22 Direct Link
This entry is missing missing missing missing missing missing missing. Lost the dream. Blank. Blank. Blank. Blank. Blank. Think Tank. Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry no time no time no time gone gone gone gone gone miss miss miss miss miss gone miss miss miss miss miss This entry is missing missing missing missing missing missing missing. Lost the dream. Blank. Blank. Blank. Blank. Blank. Think Tank. Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry no time no time no time gone gone gone gone gone miss miss miss miss miss gone miss miss miss miss miss finis finis finish finnish
11/23 Direct Link
I was intimate with someone who I thought cared about me. He went into another room and a woman came into the room I was in. I was hiding the fact that I was with him. Turned out that she was a girlfriend of his and she was teaching yoga but was awful. I watched her class through a doorway and it made no sense. This place was in the middle of nowhere and the route I decided to take out went through a canyon. Very green. Very beautiful. more dreams but didn't write them down. now they are gone.
11/24 Direct Link
Nighttime. sit table sidewalk reading thinking of ordering something. country backside dirt road wooden structure. woman knows how to pick stock. newspaper headlines everyone makes money. increases seventy-five percent. man haven't seen since 1989 is speaking asking everyone quiet. Food. take some refrigerator before others eat. woman on street irritated horse wanting attack. man asks me come house for dinner. will be six of us. say yes forget parents house. man gave me two soaps I was in tub with women. am in car backseat deceased male cousin gives me message from ancient nun. drop sentences. was intimate with man.
11/25 Direct Link
Russian men were digging a trench on the side of my property. It was deep and wide enough for people to walk through as if in a gulch. After walking for some time I saw my ex-husband who commissioned this. I questioned why he would do this. It was like a long road. It seemed to me like a positive thing at his expense so he must be planning to use it. My oldest female cousin had a church ceremony. My dress was extremely short and needed pins to hold buttons or lack of buttons to hold the front together.
11/26 Direct Link
In the house where I lived with my parents when my son was born. Cousin from mother's side goes down the the long curving steps to the garden. Cousin from father's side does not hold her hand. I stand at the top and spit down. I joke that I did not take Flee's money. Flee is Flea the second cousin's daughter. I zip myself up in a bag to get in the elevator to go to a work party. I hear someone talk against a manager. Earlier someone on a bullhorn is talking against me saying I am not psychic.
11/27 Direct Link
Had piece of paper. From court. I had been charged for something criminal. Old menus from relative's place. Was told I'd get money for that. Told aunt nothing came of it. Walking in hotel corridors with odd birds alongside. Birds that walk. Two. Could not remember my room. Somewhere like Las Vegas. I was artist working on huge collage piece pinning sections straightening images changing the whole thing. A man was disappointed that according to him everything shifted to a lower corner. A teacher was there. Several artists. More to the dream but this is what comes to the surface
11/28 Direct Link
The place I used to live is an incredible building like a European chateau with my apartment turned into a gorgeous shop. I am walking through amazed and it becomes a combination of where I lived then and many years back. I say this is where we played pool because it is the room on the top floor of one of my parents' houses and at the same time it is where my aunt lived. My sister has a crush on a young man. I see old clothes from the 1960's and most from another century. The stitching is amazing.
11/29 Direct Link
In North Beach. Several women on different streets are on the ground. Shot. Feel like I should stay with one. Arm around her head. Blood. Mom and I car. Curlers in my hair. Horse. Back up in store corridor. Try on pink hat wool covers whole head stylish. Cousin. Grocery store. Article in magazine about horse. Musician. George Harrison. Think of how I loved him. Could pull out more dreams but then would have no time to eat. Have to get going. Oh shoot. Not enough words. Not enough time. Minutes hours days weeks months fly. It is cold outside.
11/30 Direct Link
Near wharf see wedding dress with huge puffed sleeves at shoulders. cousin M at entrance to shop. Two thug older men look us over to get in. I give two dollars. See stuffed Rabbits. Vintage clothing. Pajama-like garment with hood. art critic says it is a good thing the black artist came to organize because it is all just junk. He irritates me with his criticism. Later I am in the country and mother calls to say her car is ready to give up. I should have told her to stay in town and not go on the winding road.