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05/01 Direct Link
I ran the Space Walk of Fame 8K yesterday. It was a gorgeous morning. A cool breeze was blowing and sun was out. We started out at Space View Park, a beautiful area dedicated to the Mercury astronauts. I had beer in the cooler, as I always do, for after the race. Ah, first beer of the day. It was to be the first of many. I ended up bar hopping, spending money I don't have and ogling women I can't have. Oh, the race. It was good. I spent money I didn't have and ogled women I can't have.
05/02 Direct Link
So I got up and decided to run another race today. This one was free, so no money spent but plenty of ogling. We ran a skinny winding trail through the woods. Very kewl. I twisted my ankle and the girl behind me said, ‘Oh, be careful! Are you the guy that fell in front of me last year?' ‘Ha-ha, did someone really fall in front of you last year?' I asked. ‘Yeah!' ‘Did he hurt himself?' ‘I don't know, I jumped over him.' I never saw her face, but she sounded hot. I won first in my age group.
05/03 Direct Link
After running through the woods, ya gotta drink beers. I stopped into the convenience store to buy some for Sunday's One Man Beer Fest. There was some dude quietly freaking out and I was able to surmise that he had misplaced his keys. No one in the store seemed eager to help him. I began to look around and asked him to retrace his steps. A brief scan of the area revealed his keys. Thank you from my heart he kept saying. From my heart. It's nice not to be alone when you need help. I felt good about myself.
05/04 Direct Link
I was enjoying a nice cigar the other night and nursing my ash. I had a few beers in me, naturally, and wasn't paying extremely close attention as I chatted it up with T. I knew the ash fell because it was all over my shirt and right arm. I heard the sound of something sizzling and yet I felt no pain, nor did I smell the fine odor of burning hair. Weird, because I noticed that I had a hairless spot on my arm. The blister came the next day. Be careful nursing your ash, you may get burned.
05/05 Direct Link
Let me just say that if you travel to an overpass to worship a stain on the concrete, you are fucking stupid. What do you think about the person that barely escapes death against all odds? Oh Lordy, it must be the hand of God! Sweet Jesus, you've been spared! You should now go and spread the word! Go forth and seek feeble minded sheep! Spread the word of false hope and baseless faith! The best example of an oxymoron is ‘Christian Science'. I understand the masses are dull minded fools. That does not preclude my making fun of them.
05/06 Direct Link
I am running another race tomorrow. Another T-shirt for the pile. I plan to sweat the image of the virgin mary on my tank and to be hailed as the second coming. I'll come twice .... in your mom's face! Well, that's just rude. Blasphemer, I'll surely go to hell. Cool .... down with my little red friend below. My little red, horned, cloven footed, fork tongued, trident holding,pointy tailed, fire breathing friend below. The worst evil ever created was in the mind of a righteously exclusive fundamentalist. Writing about your mom's face and ‘god/satan' is just that. Words just.
05/07 Direct Link
Race today. Third in my age group. I was passing this 9 year old kid at about mile two when his brother yells from the sideline, ‘Come on Jimmy, you can beat that old man!' That old man being me of course. I then went home after having a beer by the lake, to mow and trim and edge and weed and whatever else I could do in the yard. Later in the day it seemed like a good idea to hit a few bars. It was fun at the time I suppose. T was not happy because I drove.
05/08 Direct Link
Today was Mom's day. We had to make up for missing her birthday and Valentine's day. We brought flowers and gifts and I helped mom trim the overgrown tree in the front yard and I didn't have any beers. It was a good day really. I needed the downtime to detox. I actually worry about myself sometimes. Other times I don't. I eat well, I exercise. I just drink too much. Eh, no one is perfect I guess. T doesn't mind that I drink, she just doesn't want me to ruin my life and hers while driving under the influence.
05/09 Direct Link
Long lost cousins have tracked us down. I don't know if I care. They seem to be a christian bunch. Perhaps I'm jumping the gun, but I don't like to be preached to. Ultimately everything they are about boils down to faith. Faith is outdated. Yeah, I have faith that I'll have some beers later, faith that I'll still be breathing tomorrow, faith that the world is full of morons. Christians have forced their believes on the world for the sake of power and control through torture, fear, and death. Lying self serving hypocritical sons of fucking bitch whores. WWJD?
05/10 Direct Link
I don't hate christians or any other religious people. I'm just ranting. Religion is not for me because I can't fit it into my scientific beliefs. ‘God works in mysterious ways' or some variant has been used to explain things we don't understand since religion began. As science progresses, things that were ‘mysterious ways' open up to physics and logic and philosophy and even art and technology. Like the movie ‘No Such Thing', we have outgrown our superstitions. We no longer need an omnipotent catch all answer. Our sentience curses us into thinking there is more to life than procreation.
05/11 Direct Link
We call it BARF. Beer And Ramble Fest. It used to be Beer And Run Fest but no one else wanted to run. We choose a location with many bars, each within walking distance of the next. We drink and ramble. Ramble and drink. Yes, many have barfed after the BARF concludes. Tequila should be left our of the BARF. Becoming an idiot should be left out of the BARF. Having fun is the essence of BARF. I want to BARF again soon. Everyone we met along the way thought we were the shit and they wanted to BARF also.
05/12 Direct Link
This girl stopped me to complement my hair. I invited her to a party. She was the only one that showed up so we drank a bottle of vodka and fucked each others brains out. Damn that was fun. The next morning we went down to the pool, drank some wine and beers and ended up fucking our asses off. She liked to scream during sex and as I was slamming her over the back of the couch, my roommate watched. We went back into my room and I squirted baby oil all over her. She was an awesome fuck.
05/13 Direct Link
I'd like to take a moment to let everyone know that I am the only person that knows how to drive. I began to suspect that I alone possessed the proper skills to be on the road a few years ago. With each passing day I further confirm my early suspicions. Yes, I know, you think you have what it takes. Your are wrong. If you were here, I would slap your stupid face because you need to forfeit that D.L. You suck. I am great. One day the aliens will take me away from all of you. King Me.
05/14 Direct Link
Indian food is so good. Second time hot as they call it at the ... dang, what is the name of that place? Leftover Indian food is also quite wonderful. If I drop Indian food in the dirt, I'll pick it up and eat it. Indian food makes dirt taste good. I once ate at an Indian ‘all you can eat buffet'. Mistake. I had to stop on the way home and try to force myself to puke because I felt that my stomach would literally burst. My stomach would not comply because it loves the Indian food. So do I.
05/15 Direct Link
I like to look at pictures of the universe and try to comprehend the billions of galaxies scattered across time. It blows my mind. ‘We' think we are so important. We're far less than insignificant. We do not matter in the slightest. Just go outside at night and stare up at the stars. If you don't agree with me then I honestly think your brain isn't fully functioning. Of course that may not be a bad thing. You know what they say about ignorance. We're all fools. But, none of this is real. All is a perpetual loop of perception.
05/16 Direct Link
Today is a very special day. I drank my millionth beer. It's been quite the journey. Sometimes I get so hammered that I have to go back the next day and count the empties before I start drinking again. Keeping count while s-faced can be a grueling task. I'm going to celebrate by enjoying a few beverages. Wow. 1,000,000 beers. How cool am I? But you know what? It's not about the destination. It's about each and every one of those beers that helped me out along the way. Thank you million beers. Thanks for all the staggeringly drunken fun.
05/17 Direct Link
My father was a christian minister before he woke up. Christians like to use the term ‘intelligent design' in their crusade against the evolutionists. We are so cocky as a race that we think we are the end of the road. We think we are the pinnacle of creation. Well let's be honest with ourselves here folks. We are a race of dumb-asses! We have big brains, opposable thumbs, and nimble fingers. Time will eat us. All we do and all we create will turn to dust. We will be recycled just like everything else. Our atoms will move on.
05/18 Direct Link
I ran another race over the weekend. Some old dude had a heart attack or something and three or four runners stopped to help out. They were administering CPR and yelling at him to wake up. I don't yet know if he died. Talk about getting the wind taken out of your sails. It's not everyday you get to stare mortality in the face that way. I felt really weird for the rest of the day. I thought about his family and friends. Just an old dude out for a run on a beautiful morning. Death is a heartless bastard.
05/19 Direct Link
12:04 last night for Episode III. I was very tired and a little drunk but I enjoyed it. I'll need to see it again under more sober conditions. There was some MILF next to me that had also been at the original in 77. She, there with her kid and me, alone. We chatted and I tried (not) to stare at her cleavage. Obi-wan is a bad ass mofo! So is Mace....he HAD that Emperor! I expected him to slip into his ‘path of the righteous' speech from Pulp Fiction. I wore a Spock pin. I'm a geek.
05/20 Direct Link
I ran another race over the weekend. Some old dude had a heart attack or something and three or four runners stopped to help out. They were administering CPR and yelling at him to wake up. I don't yet know if he died. Talk about getting the wind taken out of your sails. It's not everyday you get to stare mortality in the face that way. I felt really weird for the rest of the day. I thought about his family and friends. Just an old dude out for a run on a beautiful morning. Death is a heartless bastard.
05/21 Direct Link
In this world of lies and deception there exists rather few rays of sunshine. This is the United States of pop culture and frivolous, unfounded lawsuits. The call to help a family member goes out and is received. Reaction. Help the family I will. Only later does the mind start to wonder. Lies could be fabricated and arrested I would be, guilty until proven innocent. Hope I do that someone in this case is not that much of a whack job. How insane that helping the family could make one scared of the consequences. Dwell on this, I should not.
05/22 Direct Link
I'm in the habit of telling the bartender how hot she is, if she's hot, after a few beverages. I'm sure I'm the only drunk that does this of course. Well, I'm a happy drunk, not belligerent or foul mouthed. Just let me love you. Silly boy. I'd love to see that pile of cash that I've spent on beers and the tips that are usually equal to the tab, if you're a hot bartender of course. The smart ones, girls or guys, recognize me as a seasoned bar hound. A bev gratis helps everyone. Drunken tipping patronage. More beer.
05/23 Direct Link
It didn't take much when we were kids. My brother and I got Star Wars sheets and curtains and a new radio and we thought we were quite the lucky dudes. An orange grove was our playground. The owner didn't mind if we ate the oranges so it was perfect. Trees to climb, dirt to play in and food. We had Pong back then but you could only play that for so long. I don't remember when we got the 2600, which I still maintain in working order of course. Oh, for those days of simplicity. Life is too complicated.
05/24 Direct Link
My first bike was gold and it had a banana seat. I remember running over a cat and flying over my handle bars while going down a hill. I can still see the scar, though it has nearly faded away. I had to walk the bike home and I tried not to cry. Too much for a little kid. Scars are great. Kids today wear too much padding and protective gear. They'll forget things. Scars are great memory markers. I don't think I have a scar that isn't tied to some memory that I can access readily. Ah, good times.
05/25 Direct Link
In time you may find that ‘having' is not so pleasing a thing as ‘wanting'. Spock said that. Spock is wise. He also said that logic is but the beginning of wisdom. I have been... and forever shall be... your friend. Spock is the coolest. I have little things from my childhood that would probably be worthless to anyone but me. I can sit with something and go back in time. I let my mind take me where it will and one memory leads to others. It's amazing what you can find locked away up there. I miss my brother.
05/26 Direct Link
The invincible immortality of youth begins to fade. I hang on. I feel like mankind is on the verge of something big. It may not be good and it may not be bad but something is coming and I want to be here to see it... I think. Like many whose words I've read here, I feel different than other people. I've always been on the edge, even when I'm in the midst of everything. Friends are few but I like it that way. I always talk to the bartender. Bartenders like me for some reason. Almost time for beers.
05/27 Direct Link
Are you a wealth of misinformation on many topics, or just this one in particular? I like saying that to idiots that have no idea what they're talking about. It's ok to not know what you're talking about, just don't profess that what you are saying is the truth. Don't speak authoritatively about that which you know little. AHA! So you think that would be appropriate for ME do you?! Well..... So. I love looking at beautiful women. It's fun when they can't see me looking. Closet peeping tom? Perhaps. In my mind I become obsessive. Shut up, I'm harmless.
05/28 Direct Link
Fun was had at the poker party Friday night. Beer was had. Beer is such a slut. Of course, the poker rookie won. Damn poker rookie. What's her name's ‘friend' has nice boobs and a sharp wit. I find it amazing that sometimes, within just a few words, you can tell if someone is intelligent, or a dumbass. Most people are dumbasses. Most people are dumber than shit. Maybe I'm dumber than shit. Eh. So, poker, beer... the only thing missing was a nice cigar. I must seem like a raving drunkard to most people. I do enjoy the booze.
05/29 Direct Link
My new favorite spot is ‘Ashley's'. Old train station turned restaurant and bar. Cool deck outside overlooking the tracks and fairly cheap beers. It's my new Saturday thing to stop in and have a couple. Of course that usually leads to a couple at the Dog- N-Bone which may lead somewhere else. I did find out that the cute brunette with the fake knockers likes to display them from time to time. Need to be there for that. It's probably a good thing I'm not wealthy. When would I not be drinking? I'd pay to see those soft creamy skinned bulbs.
05/30 Direct Link
Well, if you've not figured it out yet, I have quite the fascination with beer. It began many years ago when the Manager at the unnamed grocery store would let us purchase beers as minors. Kewl dude for doing that. Me and ol'what's his face and some other guys would drink in the parking lot after work. Once I drank a bunch of Stroh's and tried a small pinch of Copenhagen. That was indeed a yak fest. Ol'what's his face drove me home and I pretended for mom that I was fine, smelling of beer, tobacco, and puke. Fun fun.
05/31 Direct Link
Memorial Day yesterday and it was a hoot. I popped beers early as I was building new shelves for a closet which is man's work of course and requires beers. Ate lunch and napped under the orange tree. Memorial day sex and off to the beach. So many hot women at the beach. I was getting hammered and throwing the football with some dudes I don't know. Jumped in on a game of volleyball and sucked because I was hammered. Thought I might have broken my toe and lost my good sunglasses. Some dude got arrested. I remember no more.