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01/01 Direct Link
My legs are stiff from sitting at my computer all day. Being a deist I dont beleive in religion, as such I don't really see the point of celebrating the new years. I also don't get why folks want to celebrate new in the middle of winter, whats new about it? It's called the dead of winter for a reason. So, I spent the day sitting in front of the computer. I didn't go out the night before. I bought a computer game for myself. Figure I'd have less opertunity to spend money sitting in front of a computer, right?
01/02 Direct Link
School. Work. Sleep. Money. School. Work. Sleep. Less money. School. Work. Sleep. Still less money. School. Work. Less sleep. No money. School. Work. Still less sleep. Flat Broke. School. More work. Insomnia. Asleep in class. Missed work. Sick. Flunk a class. No job. Even more sick. Flunk out. Unemployed. It's true, folks work harder, and more hours, and make less. I use to sit in a coffee shop and write. Folks would come up and ask me what I was writing, and I'd flip close the tablet and hand it over to them. I still miss those days.
01/03 Direct Link
So what do you write when you have nothing to say? When your mind draws a blank, and there's little more than one boring day after another to talk about...? I puzzled over this when I use to write in the coffee shop, but at least then I was watching people - and thats the best insperation for writing. It was the whole process of sitting there, writing in my tablet, that started me on my degree in sociology, studying people. I wanted to know if the junk I had written had any merit. I'm still not sure about that yet.
01/04 Direct Link
It's hard to write 100 words exactly without considering editing. When sitting around, writting in coffee shops, I'd keep myself in a different headset. As I would write about society, philosophy and events I witnessed around me, I'd be keeping myself in such a headset. Appearently, I don't do that as much anymore. Of course, I'm also not writing this in a coffee shop but a bar. Totally different vibe. Anything that looks cool, feels cool, is cool, is a social construct. Cool, hip, in - all social functions. So, what's it mean to be "real"? Yet, another construct.
01/05 Direct Link
Ever get the sensation, while lieing in bed, to sleep on one side over the other? What the hell is that, anyways? For some unknown reason, you suddenly have to sleep on your left side over your right. Why? Who knows, but you roll over, adjust the blankets, the pillows, settle back in to a warm coccoon and try to get back to sleep. It's as if your body was a one person Three Stooges skit, "Hey, wake up and go back to sleep." And when you suffer from insominia this is just the sorta thing you don't need.
01/06 Direct Link
Having a lot on your mind isn't the same as having alot to write about. Nothing on my mind is all that earth shattering, games, future travel, school. Work really is not a thought, even though I spend more time at work than anywhere else. Getting my self publish pops up from time to time, seeing as I'd rather not be workin for a living. Acting is the ability to hear the same joke fifty times and laugh like you'd just heard it for the first time all fifty times. It's a lot like work, eh? Acting, that is.
01/07 Direct Link
The worse is when I'm in the mood to write poetry, and really don't have that image in my head that usually sparks a poem, regaurdless of my mood to write one or not. I've held that it's not a matter of going out and getting ideas to write about, but learning to see what's worth writing about in every day situations. Learn to see everything as a topic. Like that guy sitting on the heating grate while it snowed. Wind was nasty that night too. And he tried to keep the snow off with a thread worn umbrella.
01/08 Direct Link
The cats are at it again. They live in the yard, and tend to talk in high pitched whines - felines impersonating a chainsaw. I had to break up a couple as I came in. One ran off, the other looked like it wanted to continue the conversation with me. I don't speak whine though, so I told it to shove off and came inside. No doubt the cat will complain about me being rude to another cat later on tonite just so I can hear it whine some more. Really, I shouldn't mind, not like they're mine or anything.
01/09 Direct Link
I'm tired of left wing television in a right wing world. West Wing, Mr. Sterling - both are left wing shows, and currently the furthest thing from real. I read somewhere that this years astrological sign is the same that it was for FDR's death and Nixon's resignation. Not putting alot of hope in such things, but I found it encouraging to imagine the universe kicking Pinhead Bush's ass. Sort of a cosmic rebuttal on his existance. Perhaps it's a little harsh, but then, he is a putz. With my luck though, Martin Sheen will have a heart attack instead.
01/10 Direct Link
I just read Girl, Interrupted. I've also imagined trying to write short stories in 100 words exactly. Now, THAT'S a challenge, eh? Course, I would have to come up with a story everyday that I can tell in 100 words, and I can't even come up with something to say without telling a story. Then there's the whole editing bit, something I've actually learned to enjoy more recently. But it's a good thought, writing 100 word short stories. Only, the whole process of thinking about it reminds me of the thought process of Susanna Kaysen. Gee, am I crazy?
01/11 Direct Link
Can't think of anything to write, probably a side effect of having just woken up. My mind doesn't really want to get rolling for the first couple of hours after I get out of bed. In school this was ok, the first couple of classes were always gym or art, classes I could either skip altogether or actually look forward to. Now I just have work, and school to look forward to. The school parts alright, but I much rather not find myself getting too tired by the end of the classes. For that, I need to sleep in.
01/12 Direct Link
I recently heard, on some lame morning radio show, that art museums were the best place to pick up ladies. I forget what source the radio show claimed to be quoting. I always thought it was grocery stores, but that might just be from the old Happy Days episode where Richie Cunningham runs into some wacky old guy in the store who's running into ladies carts in order to meet them. Mind you, I have no idea what appeal one is suppose to find in buying a can of tuna over say, Boca burgers, but there you have it.
01/13 Direct Link
Who invented "reality TV"? Actually, the phrase annoys me more than anything. A professor at Indiana University of Pennsylvania argues that people who watch a lot of television actually believe they have more friends than people who don't watch as much television. Peoples senses are linked to biological responses, who we see all the time we associate properly to, good or bad. As tv shows want positive response, people think they have more friends. Kind of scary, huh? I mean, are we making friends with reality tv or not? Is it the truth that I don't have many friends?
01/14 Direct Link
The Gilmore Girls, a television show, just ended with the two girls sitting on the porch watching the snow fall. Watching television continues to remind me of the study relating perception to television watching. How many people sit on the porch to watch the snow fall anymore? No doubt some folks don't relate watching people watching snow fall to actually watching the snow fall outside thier own home. But that's not what really struck me, what I really noticed is sitting on the porch watching the snow wouldn't be so bad had I the company to share it with.
01/15 Direct Link
I wrote a poem the other day and now I can't find it. Damn, but that's really annoying. Not that it was the greatest poem or anything. I mean, I liked the theme and how I pulled it off and no, damnit, I can't remember enough of those details now to rewrite the whole damn thing and it's really really annoying. Sigh. Perhaps I could write a poem about loosing a poem that I wrote, but I rather doubt it would work. Poetry for me, lately at least, has been difficult. And now, after writing one, I've lost it.
01/16 Direct Link
Lately the voices in my head have started argueing with my demonically possesed refrigerator. Seeing as I spend most of my time in my living room on the third floor, and the frig is on the first floor, they both have to yell very loudly in order to converse. It's distracting to say the least. I think the sofa in my nieghbors apartment has begun to complain. At least, I like to think that's what's causing it to thump rhythmically against the wall night after night. Of course, neither my frig or my voices complain about the sofa's noise.
01/17 Direct Link
I had six new messages on my machine! Two were garbage, sounded like someone holding the reciever upto a speaker playing a television at a long distince. One was a dermatologist appointment at a local hospital. Only, I never made such an appointment and have no idea who this person is. The second mystery is about a package. I've gotten messages about this package for weeks now, only this time, they actually left an address. Not a phone number, that would be too easy. The sixth one is the guy who I called two weeks ago, returning my call.
01/18 Direct Link
I've decided that I want a muse, not a girlfriend as such. I can't recall whether or not I wrote about this already. Probably have, it's something I've considered for a bit of time now. Protesters are marching against war and idiocy. Figure there's little change that Pinhead Bush will come to his sense. I wasted the whole day, and I don't really feel inclined to do anything tonite either. Much like todays one hundred word ramble, it appears to say something, but it's realy just using up words. Not that that is a bad thing or anything, right?
01/19 Direct Link
Cleaned (even swepted up the place), went shopping (couldn't find a bolt I need to fix my chair though), considered doing laundry. Hey, two outta three ain't that bad. Although, I could use some clean socks. Figured after doing next to nothing yesterday, I should get something done today. One thing I still have to do is print out the query letter I mean to send off before classes start this semester. I have two more days before class, so times running out. But, I have the submissions editors name, envelops, and of course, the file to be printed.
01/20 Direct Link
I've just accepted a challenge to write a poem entitled "Broken Blinds." I have two days, no limits. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Just hope I don't forget. Mind you, I feel I'm doing wonderful with this little project of writing one hundred words a day. Of course, as of today, I'm only a fifth of the way through the one hundred days I'm suppose to be writing for. Although, I already figured on continuing this little excersise past that date. I figure it's a good excersise, and I should keep up with anything that keeps me writing, right?
01/21 Direct Link
Something. Water. Remote control. Dust. Television. Turks Head, Pennsylvania. Tells me. Speakers. Road. Shout. Celery. Spring. Bounce. Chance. Super. Left. That. No one said that the one hundred words actually had to relate to each other. Killjoy. Fascist. Temple. Cracker Jack popcorn. So, I figure this will let the reader make thier own connections. Dictionary. Green. Paper. Bridge. Showtime. Although, most likely folks will just skip this entry altogether. North. Not all experiments are groundbreaking, you know. Howdy Doodee. Bush. Commercials. Beatles. Shift. Wonderful. Compact discs. Besides, it's more interesting to see what pops in to my head. Chess.
01/22 Direct Link
I need to do laundry. Badly. It's not that I'm such a batchelor that I condone wearing dirty socks beyond their experation date, but it's subfreezing here, has been for weeks now, and it's a long enough walk to the laundrymat that I'm sufficiantly detered. Honest, I plan to do it tomorow, between my second and third classes. Not that this guerrentees that it will get done. But, I figure planning to do it beats it crawling out of the closet and attacking me in my sleep. Hey, it's been known to happen, a constant threat to batchelors everywhere.
01/23 Direct Link
I just met a pissed-off poet. He's the teacher for my poetry class. Ironically enough, and I do love irony, I had concerns that my math teacher would be the grumpy sort that would make a class I dread (math) all that more trying. And, wouldn't you know, it's the class after math that has the dour and miserable personallity. But, that's not all! In the class is Sean and Caitlin, two folks who I can joke with and lighten up the class. Basically, if those two weren't there, I'd have likely walked out with the other two students.
01/24 Direct Link
My friend M is moving away, and tomorow we're all to get together to see him off. That one last horray sorta thing. It's friday, no messages on the machine. Got a couple of movies to sit back and watch tonite, About a Boy and Signs. For reasons even the clerk couldn't explain, Signs was catagorized as a comedy. Somehow, I don't think it's a comedy. Mind you, About a Boy is suppose to be a good comedy. Who knows, maybe Signs is funnier. That's tonite though, tomorow it's going out night with the friends. Gotta have a plan.
01/25 Direct Link
I think saturday's have become my day to do nothing productive. Much like the last saturday I talked about, today is shaping up to be a day spent sitting at the computer, playing games, and generally wasting time. Not that this is a good, or bad, thing. I figure I deserve a day of "rest" and if that means sitting around doing something close to nothing, no prob. Just so long as I keep up on my shit, like this writing excersise, it's fine. That, and it's just too damn cold out to do much more than stay in.
01/26 Direct Link
Laundry, shopping, cleaned the bathroom, and then I had breakfast. I think I like this pattern for the weekends, waste away the saturday and get stuff done on sundays. Of course, I think I doubly wasted yesterday, because I messed up in the game and will have to start all over. Boo-hoo. Next though, it's school work, something I didn't have last weekend to do. Just as well, I'm already ahead on the readings in the one class. I'm such a go getter. I've also thought to write a story here, 100 words at a time. I still might.
01/27 Direct Link
This isn't a journal. At least, I don't think of it as a journal, and hence, that's what really counts. So, it's not a journal. It's just a collection of words, equally numbered, dated, and set in chronoligical order by said date. Ok, so maybe it resembles a journal quite a bit, nothing wrong with that. I'm going to go get dinner now, most likely pasta. Maybe some popcorn for desert, and hopefully I won't burn it like I did the last time. Now see, if this was a journal, would I bother putting that sorta stuff in it?
01/28 Direct Link
I managed to do yesterday's 100 words exactly the first time out. I was so amazed, I wanted to write about it, but I had just hit the one hundred word mark right on the nose, and I don't have a journal to note that sorta of thing in, so I had to wait until todays ramble just so I could say how amazed I was at hitting yesterday's one hundred words right on the nose. Now, of course, I want to do that again, repeat the feat. Fat chance really, it's a one in twenty-seven chance so far.
01/29 Direct Link
The trolly. We get packed onto the number 10 everyday, because InEpta (SEPTA for those not from Philly) can't seem to get thier act together well enough to put more trollys on a line that's always packed. They commissioned two different studies on how they could make more money, both reports said the same thing, lower prices to increase profits. It's logical, more people will use the cheaper convinence than drive. They ignored both reports and jacked up their prices. Now thier expesive and incompetent, what'a combo, eh? And this still pack us on like sardines. It's damn insulting.
01/30 Direct Link
I bought new boots today. I needed em, I think I noted that before. It was the highlight of an otherwise frustrating and bad day. I was at fifteenth street station on my way to school when I realized I'd forgotten my homework. I had to go all the way back to West Philly, loosing the time I was suppose to be spending doing my math homework. So the time I spent buying boots was suppose to be spent doing homework. On the upside, the homework wasn't collected, so I have another week to get on top of it.
01/31 Direct Link
I did my math homework already. Wrote a poem. Posted to my journal. And still havn't watched to two movies I rented. My, I feel busy today, or tonite at least. At work all day. I just realized this is the sort of thing folks write in a journal, but I find that my thoughts, while capable of being edited down to one hundred word chucks, dont come out in that nice neat form, and not sure I'd want them too. Hence, I don't want my thoughts to ramble when I've got to cut it short all of the