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08/01 Direct Link

6

Don't look now but it's changed again.

The water is deeper today than it was two days ago, significantly deeper.

Last year a storm threw up onto the beach somewhere around 10,000 jellyfish; this year not a one. The waves push in and pull out next.

Next morning the dead jellyfish were all gone. They'd been churned under, eaten, dissolved.

In a continuous process of becoming and unbecoming, Proteus.

Maybe I should lie here and let him do to me what he will. Let his sun bleach my bones, let his birds eat my heart; and join his procession.
08/02 Direct Link

7

10:00 a.m.

Down to the water I run with my pool noodle and into the ocean I go! Swimsplashplay!

11:30

It's gettin' hot! I'm hungry! Run run back up to the cottage! Mom! Hot Dogs! Potato chips! Dogs!

12:00 p.m.

Down to the water! There's Billy! Splash fight! Hot, eh? Sand is burnin' hot! My feet're burnin'!

2:00

It's hot! Make a big pile of wet sand here! Feel my hair! Let's play racing!

4:00

Swim some more! Lookit that jellyfish! Wow!

5:30

They're callin' me for dinner! I'm walkin' up, sick-feelin', I think I'm gonna start crying! Waaaaaaaah!!!
08/03 Direct Link

9

The seagulls are gulling and cormorants are ranting. The crows are counting horses while the horses are wondering when's dinner? and under the waves someone's dinner is looking for dinner.

The rockweed and the seaweed are catching the sun, sending out shoots at a competitive rate. When the tide goes out the corpses go out too, to feed their brethren and keep the ball rolling.

Volcanoes are spewing up fresh material, down to sea it slowly crawls; a glacier melts and the sediment hardens, chips off in crystals so effortlessly, knowing full well of its time and its space.
08/04 Direct Link

10

Who was there?
Theresa, Uncle John, Aunt Sister Helen, Bernard, Mary, and me.

Anyone else?
Restaurateurs Wolfgang S. and Barbara W.

Topics?
Horses, the Nova Scotia Power Corporation, storms and felled trees, Sister Helen's eastern seaboard parish, lake air vs. sea air, the Celtic Music Interpretative Centre, Bernard's address for Sister Helen (I supplied the pencil), sheep, coyotes, wedding plans, etc.

Where?
Manitou Restaurant, for the second time.

Occasion?
Leaving tomorrow.

Comments?
Barbara brought a second serving of deep-fried fish. She was looking at me with what appeared to be love in her eyes. The eyes of a sixteen-year-old.
08/05 Direct Link

11

Eye is high in the air, in an airplane. 40,00 feet high in the air is Eye. Eye wonders: Will Eye be in a crash? (Eye often thinks of himself in the third person.) Eye sees the clouds far below. Eye'll plummet, to a burning suffocating death, if something goes terribly wrong. Eye's betrothed will suffer the same fate. They'll die together, which is a bit of a consolation.... Eye sees, and Eye writes, as an automat. Eye is a mirror of It. It's the cause of Eye's I. (If u are reading this, rest assured: Eye has survived.)
08/06 Direct Link

12

HOME AGAIN

Mywatchisgoingfaster, goingwesttoeast, look, I'mgoingtoNovaScotia, andbythetimeIgetthere, it'llbeanhourlater.

Ah. Back to normal. Look at that sky! Look at those stars! Look at those birds! Look at everything, look! look!

One night, out for a smoke, I saw the crescent moon set. It got redder and redder as it disappeared behind Port Hood Island. No-one I talked to next day had even heard of such a thing. A moonset?

My watch is go ing sl ow er, go ing ea st to we st, and by the ti me I get ho me it' ll be one hour la ter.
08/07 Direct Link

I had a dream last night. In some place, I realized that my friend Gary had just died. I don't remember how I knew. Then we were in a car, me and a few of our mutual friends plus Mary. Someone said that he had asked to be buried in Port Hood. I asked, "Why in Port Hood? Why did he want that?" I couldn't understand why he wanted to be buried there.

When I awoke I remembered that Gary's been dead for years. I never asked, "Didn't he die years ago?" Instead I was asking, "Why in Port Hood?"
08/08 Direct Link

SPIRITUAL EXCERCISE PREPARATORY TO QUITTING

-At least it's less crowded now.

-But, doncha see why? He's taken some of us away! They're gone, I tells ya, gone!

-Oh, they just went out for a....

-For a smoke? Yeah, that's it exackly! They went out smokin'!

-Oh my God!

-Shaddap, you maggots! It's what yer were made fer!

-I don't wanna die! I don't wanna get all burned up!

-You little pussy! If I had arms I'd slap the shit outta you!

-You'll get all burned up....

-Jones, you fuckin' sadist!

-Momma!

-Just ash....

-Momma!

-You're a dead stick....

-Momma! Momma!
08/09 Direct Link

A RETOUR. "ALMOST READY, THE NARRATOR PAUSES THE ACTION. IS IT BECAUSE HE KNOWS NOT WHERE IT'S GOING?"

I'm baaaack! I'm baaack! Where were you? On the Breton Cape.
Let's go. Two weeks have passed--I'm sorry, I'm confused:
(Apparently this song is like magnetic tape:
(I pressed the button STOP to stop the action, fused
(Positions of my eight as if I'd aspic used;
(My wind-up dolls, my mari'nettes, will come alive
(When PLAY I press and then, as if transfused
(By lighter bolts and cigarettes, they'll thus revive
(And fornicate, and of the eight there's my essential five.)
08/10 Direct Link

RHYME TIME

Friend of mine, goes by the initials ROY SCHULTZE, says he likes to print out my stuff and read it when he's crapping. (Am I supposed to be flattered?) It's time to return the aspect. I'm writing this sitting on the toilet.

Uhhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"Isn't it strange that people never get laid in airports? Completely unheard of. In airplanes, sure, but never in airports."

Uhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhh!

"The town had gone to pot. Then they ran out of pot, so they went to heroin."

Uhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhhhhh!

So, Mr. Schultze, how does it feel? Wait, here comes a big one....
08/11 Direct Link
THE PARTY CONTINUES AND A TRIVIA GAME IS BROUGHT FORTH. PHILIPPE WANTS TO ANSWER. THE FIRST QUESTION.


Then Alison brought forth a brand-new quizzing game
And said, "I bought it special with tonight in mind."
Then Alex Don brought forth a joint and said the same
(But using made instead of bought). Philippe was blind
(Or nearly so) with drink; though scotched and beered and wined
Beyond he said: "Games! Thas's what this party needs!"
Trimalchio Toronto 'gainst the couch inclined,
And said, "Let's play!" And Alison a question reads:
What worldwide prizes five are given yearly out by Swedes?"
08/12 Direct Link

Oh look, it's raining outside. Now's the time to go out.

Every chance I get, I go out into the rain. And when I'm out there, the rain running down my face, I cry.

It's all stored up, then I let it go. Liquids pour from all my facial orifices, and I'm telling the truth. The sky opens and the rains come down; my face opens and the tears come down.

I'm not going to go into why I cry. Use you imagination. Think of the dead, the lost, your mistakes, your cruelties.

I learned this trick from pop songs.
08/13 Direct Link

THE QUESTION CONCERNS THE NOBEL PRIZES. IS THE CONFUSION PART OF THE EVENT OR PART OF THE TELLING OF THE EVENT?

"Correction," Ally says, "I read that wrong. It asks,
"'What four awards.'" Philippe says, "Writing's one, I know,
"And then there's sciences. One: Chemistry (My flask's
"(A-getting empty) Mathematics too, although
"That may just be a medal now debased ago
"Some time; and physics is the fourth. My answer right?"
The card is flipped and Ally reads and mouths a "No."
"That can't be so! What scuzzy foolish blatherskite!"
And Ally giggles, Philippe nods and grins with drunk delight.
08/14 Direct Link

So I went to the company picnic. I was very nervous, even though I was with a trusted friend. Every noise and motion was getting on my nerves. I felt very ... stressed.

The union had a display set up, pamphlets, rule guides, plastic water bottles, etc. They also had these little cards with heat-sensitive squares meant to tell you if you were stressed or calm. I applied my thumb, held it there for the required sixty seconds. I checked the colour coding alongside. Mine read calm.

I still don't know: Was it me or the card that was lying?
08/15 Direct Link

DID PHILIPPE TRULY SEE WHAT HE THOUGHT HE SAW? IT'S POSSIBLE, YOU KNOW.

The game is over, time has passed, apparently,
And some have homeward thoughts, or thoughts of bed,
Or thoughts of how it feels like swimming in the sea-
I'm lying on my back, what's that that someone said?
I'm thinking, Is this true, or swimming in my head?
Did I just see our host touch Flo upon her breast?
I'm drunk, but can't I still descry when I'm misled?
-
I wish I knew myself, I wish I had a test
To know Philippe's hallucinations from the manifest.
08/16 Direct Link

I've forgotten the pleasures of riding a bicycle on a summer night. People don't ever seem to honk their horns. I glide along the street, hyper-aware of where all the cars are. (They're on the lookout for the likes of me, too.) Through the empty park at night, oh, there's a couple on a park bench. My wheels hop from light to light, with nothing in between. Oh, and the ladies, the ladies look soooo pretty, late on a summer night! I'd forgotten all that, but actually I hadn't. It's all familiar.

It is just like ... riding a bicycle.
08/17 Direct Link

THE POET SPEAKS THE TRUTH (OR NOT) ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

(I do not like O Sam I am the three six five:
(And yet I should acknowledge in this song the time.
(I look ahead and see a fortnight's left 'til I've
(Completed, yes, a year around the sun and I'm
(Ecstatic strangers wrote to say they liked my grime
(And glad that I've survived my hardest year by far
(And glad that I'll complete it with a crummy rhyme.
(Perhaps next year I'll learn to drive (or not) a car.
(And maybe I'll be married, reader, by a registrar.)
08/18 Direct Link

Hey, as a teenager I had this friend, he lived across the street, his name was Chris Wright. He was somewhat crazy, not too smart (Wright ` bright), but I was his friend. We watched The Fourth Man together. We did bts, then we'd stare slack-jawed at the TV. He had a swimming pool. Last time I saw him he picked a fight for no reason with a guy at the Genosh. Chris picked his nose and wiped the snot on the guy's shirt. So anyway, today I found out that Chris murdered his neighbour and he's now in prison.
08/19 Direct Link

HE'S RUINING THINGS! ADULTERY IS BETTER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY! OH NO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE WHOEVER YOU ARE!

Philippe, Philippe, it's time to raid the CD racks!
(Is he alright? Is he like this whenever out?)
The popular recording section he attacks!
(You want to see my etchings? play a drinking bout?)
"I haven't heard this since a teen, or thereabout!"
(What time is it? I think we ought to head on home.)
"Hey, 'One Track Heart!' I heard this first in Roustabout!"
(I dare not drive, I think a cab we'll telephone.)
Philippe, Philippe, desist or Venus Victris you'll dethrone!
08/20 Direct Link

PSEUDOZEUGMA

There's one with a knapsack. There's one with a baby. There's one with a glum expression. There's one with an orange hat on. There's one with a cold. There's one with a really nice car. There's one with a nice front yard. There's one with Louise. There's one with someone else's wife. There's one with special neurons. There's one with seven dollars and thirteen cents. There's one with a crush. There's one with a song running through her head. There's one with no shoes. There's one with an arrow of desire. There's another one with an arrow of desire.
08/21 Direct Link

A CHEERY DOMESTIC SCENE SAVE FOR THE MOTIVATION INVOLVED. THIS STANZA SEEMS TO BE ONLY ABOUT, OH, 60% TERRIBLE

Behold the house's kitchen: fridge and stove and sink.
And look at Florence washing dishes carefully.
The Elvis songs are loud, and lovely Flo can't think.
Behold as Alex comes as if to oversee
The work (his work the work diablerie).
"You want some help?" he asks and takes in hand a rag.
"They dry themselves," she says, "No need for drudgery."
But does this stop our mosting hosting scallywag?
Has he gone limp, alas, do all his hopes therewith downsag?
08/22 Direct Link

REASONS NOT


I got work to do.

I have to do this writing.

I never feel comfortable in such situations.

I'm afraid I'll go catatonic as usual.

I want to write about not going.

There could be some people there I don't want to see.

I have nothing to say to anyone.

I've been too happy recently and I want to be sad.

I've got this idea for a story, it's about disappointing people.

I have no-one to go with, no-one to escort me.

I'm not liked.

I had this dream last night, the restaurant caught fire and everyone died.
08/23 Direct Link

A CALL BREAKS THE SPELL, ONE-SIDED THOUGH IT IS. BRENT IS CALLING, AND FLO RESPONDS

A voice from midst the noise: "I think it's time to go."
It's recognized and Alex bristles to his bone.
"Don't leave so soon, it's just begun," he begs of Flo,
But she has done the dishes and ignores his tone.
She leaves the kitchen smiling, Alex stands alone,
His plan for rapprochement evaporated is,
His plan to get in bed the lovely Flo is blown,
She didn't note his tender touch when playing quiz,
She didn't see the begging pleading look upon phiz his.
08/24 Direct Link

Mother looked and the look she looked said You always let me down.

Not to exclusively blame mother father looked that way most of the time.

Snuck off when James needed me to entertain a girl's girlfriend while he put the moves on he looked You always let me down.

HER look, I let her down, I dropped down, I let down.

I was tired from pitching. Jr.'s expression: You always let me down.

Hiding during an epiphany: I always let me down.

My eulogy: a later-life friend: He never let me down.

The Devil: You never let me down.
08/25 Direct Link

THE END?

"The party's over?" says Philippe as Flo comes in
And takes her coat (it's winter) off a chair. He states,
"I have to ssay, I sslur, I ssorry, let'ss begin
"I have to ssay, it'ss been a blasst an' he who waitss
"Will find reward I undersstand. Together fatess
"Have brought uss," then he switches off the Elvis thing
But as he does he airwave finds a state on states:
Announcer says "The Third World War is happening:
"Take shelter if you can. The atom bombs are dropping.
"A billion megatons, no sign that blasts will be a-stopping."
08/26 Direct Link

Every time I run my fingers through my hair there's hair. Hair that's not connected to me. Free hair, I suppose. There's still lots of hair up there, but I'm losing it differently than the way in which my father and my brothers are losing theirs. I'm peaking widow. The tub wouldn't drain right the other day there was so much red hair in there. Ways to stop the loss I know there are, but it seems effort, and feminine effort at that. There: I just ran fingers through: Three hairs lost: The knots are all that's keeping it atop.
08/27 Direct Link

PANIC ENSUES. WHAT ARE THEIR RESPECTIVE THOUGHTS? ME AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

Okay, the bomb atomic. Disbelief then ... panic all!
"You think we need our coats?" "We need to know where we
"Should go!" "The radio will say!" "Where shall we crawl?"
"Be quiet, youse!" says Alex ungrammatickly.
Continues news: "The Wembley show's been bombed! And three
"Have hit the Philly show! The simulcast of Mick
"And David's done! The end of Dancing in the Stree!"
Philippe says, "It's a fake! It's Live Aid! There's some prick
"Somewhere thinks this is funny when in fact it's really sick!"
08/28 Direct Link

ADDENDUM TO ABC EDITORIAL POLICIES, SECTION 6.3 (ACCURACY, IMPARTIALITY AND OBJECTIVITY)



6.3.1.1

However, if you do wish to editorialise--indeed, if you feel it is incumbent on you as a citizen of Australia--there are two options available to reporters.


6.3.1.1.1

Surely you have contacts who share your point of view. (Rolodex it.) Interview one of these contacts. You probably won't even have to ask leading questions.


6.3.1.1.2

The magic word is some. Use it freely, as in Some say that government policy doesn't go far enough. Who are the some? If pressed, remember this mnemonic: FOP: Friends, Offspring, Pets.
08/29 Direct Link

THE PENULTIMATE STANZA. YAAAAY! BACK TO NORMAL QUITE SOON. ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER CENT

They laugh: How scared we were! But really, what's the odds
Of Armageddon coming after such a night?
In any case, the party's ending and the squads
Of analysts and -ands with nod and kiss polite
Are putting on their coats and shoes, oh what a fright!
It's coming to an end; for Alex is there hope?
I'll answer that. There's none. No chance to reach that height.
But David's helping Shefft to don her stethoscope
And coat; though both adults they (dreamy) wish they could elope.
08/30 Direct Link

My dentist, Max Bayliss, two days after pulling out of my jaw a wisdom tooth that had surfaced, the last of my four (I hope) (the pointed end of my youth), and after disappearing without so much as a how-d'ye-do when the deed was done, said, "Brush it vigorously until it bleeds then rinse with warm salty water," and patted me on the shoulder like he was proud, and he disappeared without so much as a how-d'ye-do.

As a hammer sees everything as a nail to be hit, thus to a dyed-in-the-wool sadist everyone else cannot be anything but masochistic.
08/31 Direct Link

THIS IS THE END. I PROMISE NEVER TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS SEQUENCE AGAIN

The cat slinks out from where avoiding folks she'd hid
(Though little does she know it's 'cause the party's done);
She sniffs a bit of cheese and cracker, lost amid
The fury (so she sniffs) of hormones everyone.
Good Alex slips in bed beside his girl; the fun
Is in the past and what's to ever be's to be;
He thinks of long before, before they had begun;
And thanks his Fortune nothing happened, he;
Her body's warm against his back; is that her heart? FINIS.