BY kenfuck

04/01 Direct Link
Hey it's a new month, and that means it time to do more writing. I should write about some of my ex-girlfriends. There was Wendy. I met her during another tragic romance I was trying to kill before it killed me. Wendy knew of this and her goal was to take me away from the other woman. Wendy offered me good cooking, pretty good sex, a little substance in her personality and a great listener and friend. I thought, who needs this other woman when I have Wendy, ready to be my girl. So, cautiously, we had our first date.
04/02 Direct Link
The date started out nice. Wendy had not overdressed, but rather dressed casually with a slight hint of fashion. She wore a simple button blouse, with smart slacks and dress shoes. I think we went to a cajun restaurant, had a great dinner with great conversation, although Wendy was getting a little drunk too quickly. Later, we sat at a bar and drank until the music started, which was only feet from us. With the music so loud, and Wendy nearly falling off her stool, I decided to take her home. I carefully but firmly walked her to my car.
04/03 Direct Link
It wasn't hard to get Wendy ready for fucking. She was already drunk, we were kissing and I was grabbing her ass, all as we were driving back to her place. Her roomate, Gary, had been conveniently disposed of at the Anchor Room, a corner tavern that probably smelled of a wet ashtray and urine. It took one 30 minute program for me to get Wendy's pants off, and on the floor, in a darkened room, I saw the TV cathode rays shine off her fine ass. With her bent over the couch, I banged her from behind doggy style.
04/04 Direct Link
Soon, after the sex was over, I lit a cigarette and watched TV for a little while. I finished another beer and noticed that Wendy was passed out. I tried to clean up the mess on the floor, and got Wendy's robe around her naked body and cinched it loosely. I gently picked her up and set her on the couch, placing a pillow under her head. I rose to look at her. She remained still, breathing slowly. Her eyes were closed, so I prepared to leave. Suddenly, the telephone rang. I realized it was after one in the morning.
04/05 Direct Link
I looked at Wendy to see if she had awakened from the phone's ringing. She didn't stir and then the answering machine picked up. I heard bar noise and no voice. Then Gary spoke, "Wendy?" Then more bar noise, then he hung up. I knew it was time to leave, and I got out quickly. On the way home, I wondered if Gary would fuck Wendy after he got home. Probably. I mean I only just met Wendy a week ago, and here I am fucking her. I got back home, parked the car and stumbled up to the apartment.
04/06 Direct Link
I stripped and started to go to bed when I noticed my dick was coated with afterfuck, so I did a quick washdown all over, brushed my teeth and turned in, dodging the roaches along the way. I didn't call Wendy the next day. Nor did I see her for about five days. The next time I saw her, she was friendly, although a little remorseful for having gotten drunk and everything. She told me she thought I wouldn't go out with her anymore because of her behavior . But I said I would, if we could relax and slow down.
04/07 Direct Link
At first, Wendy was quite good to me. I was also quite good to her, and she was an interesting lady, 6 years older than I, in process of a divorce, and pretty intelligent. She was born out east, and relocated from New Orleans. She was a great cook and liked to watch movies and fuck. All the qualities that I longed for in a woman were in Wendy. Wendy eventually got rid of the roommate. Her relationship with Gary went sour after I got in the picture. He burned her on the final rent and utilities, and then vanished.
04/08 Direct Link
Well, first thing I'd say is never get your pussy where you get your paycheck, or don't shit where you eat. My wonderful world of Wendy went sour as fast as a warm gallon of dairy on a hot July day. Much of what happened was my fault but not all of it. I left the horrible hellish relationship with Miss L, before I went out with Wendy, but I met a woman of American Indian decent one evening after working a late night at the restaurant. We all went out for drinks, including Wendy, who was cool and reticent.
04/09 Direct Link
Wendy wanted to go home early, and I drove her home as she had no transportation. On the way, I knew she knew I wanted to fuck the Indian woman, Jessica. I had devised a ruse to go back to the bar where Jessica and the others were. After dropping off Wendy, I headed straight back to the bar, drank til late, and then I asked Jessica if she needed a ride anywhere. One thing led to another and she came home with me, and luckily, only one of my two roommates was home, but asleep, or so I thought.
04/10 Direct Link
While Jessica and I were in the front room making our way to the back bedroom, we stopped to kiss, and she undid my belt and trousers. I helped her pull my pants down and she took my penis into her mouth at which time the roommate had been awakened and walked into see me getting blown. I stopped Jessica's oral act and pulled her to a bedroom as my roommate did an about face and went back into his room. The bedroom I had pulled her to was not mine but my absent second roommate's, where we had sex.
04/11 Direct Link
After we had sex, Jessica got up to wipe the semen out of her vagina, and reached for my roommate's blanket. I laid with her as I watched her clean herself and then get dressed. Soon, silence befell us and she asked me to take her home in a way that suggested the evening was over. I drove her home, and then I slept in the next day. My roommate, who I'll call godboy, asked me who and what was happening last night when he saw me in the throes of passion. I said it was none of his business.
04/12 Direct Link
Well, Wendy called me as soon as I had got up. She was sort of frantic and asked me about last night. I said I went back to the bar and drank with the guys, and I drove Jessica home. She asked me, "Was that it?" I felt like telling her I did fuck Jessica, and leave it at that, but I said Yes, that was all. I felt she didn't believe me and I was right. After this, Wendy's sexual habits became more aggressive. She started scratching my back and wanting me to bite her on the neck during intercourse.
04/13 Direct Link
This led to my discovery of her previous relationship to Mark, whom she later married. I found out there was some serious kink in that relationship, possibly using bondage and jars of baby food. I had found some baby food in Wendy's refrigerator when I was helping her thaw it out. She also requested to tie me up to an antique chair and blow me. We did this, and in the middle of it, her father called and she talked to him on the phone, while blowing me. This made me feel strange. Then I told her I loved her.
04/14 Direct Link
Soon after that big lump of shit was hanging out there for me to digest, Wendy says she's going out to dinner with Mark and all this happens out of the blue. I'm looking like a hurt puppy. She teases me by putting on the new dress she plans to wear to dinner, driving me insane. She then struts around and says I think the short dress looks good on me. I said I never seen her in something that nice, and then she flips up the back so I can see her ass and says "Boop!" while laughing hysterically.
04/15 Direct Link
After that, it was pretty much over. We had got together a few years later and it was intense again, but not the same, especially when Wendy would confide her sex-capades to me with whomever she was sleeping with. It was basically her torturing me and me letting her, and me feeling like I was used. Nothing new here. I was done with her and had to move on. I did so many foolish things, and I wanted to scare her one drunken evening and had managed to almost climb onto her balcony to enter her house. This too failed.
04/16 Direct Link
The bartender gave me a plastic encased tarantula for what reason I don't know. Another man drunk on confidence, called me a woman, I told him I was a man. He was a fucking idiot. Another drunk is trying to sing the Doors song, When The Music's Over. He wails in an apathetic and redundant atmosphere of bar-stink-vomit. He is unknown. He is truth. A Zen drummer, beats his life's work into the skins. He beats into the night. He is beat. I long for the Zen connection to life. Existentialism was the doorway. Zen is the teacher and truth.
04/17 Direct Link
This is the religious weekend of the world, or at least the Christian world. They pray for souls lost, war victims, children of no remembrance, all the terrible atrocities of the world. A few weeks ago, I sat through another ridiculous training class at work, where they presented several videos offering an example of workplace harassment. One was of two men, discussing a work project and then one man started offering the word of salvation to the troubled man. He at once rejected the religious man's offer of help. This was considered a violation of the troubled man's workplace rights.
04/18 Direct Link
Have you seen the drunkard, the drug addict, the junkie around your neighborhood? It's a state of mind. Being out of your mind, vacating the premises and abandoning all responsibility. This is the life, too chickenshit to figure it out yourself, so just sponge off your Mother or Father. Don't bother to meet your own additions and confront them. They rule you, you have no control over their power. You are a fucking drug addict and alcoholic. You're too far gone. In the most pathetic way, I feel sorry for you. You are a shell of a once promising man.
04/19 Direct Link
This is the religious weekend of the world, or at least the Christian world. They pray for souls lost, war victims, children of no remembrance, all the terrible atrocities of the world. A few weeks ago, I sat through another ridiculous training class at work, where they presented several videos offering an example of workplace harassment. One was of two men, discussing a work project and then one man started offering the word of salvation to the troubled man. He at once rejected the religious man's offer of help. This was considered a violation of the troubled man's workplace rights.
04/20 Direct Link
We saw a bunch of kids today playing with their Easter baskets. They had candy, eggs and lots of smiles. Some of the kids were in diapers, looking a little neglected by their big butted mother. Some of us were a little disturbed by that. We had hearts that were heavy with helplessness. So the kids kept smiling and playing, not knowing how they looked or what we thought. It was a very nice day too, nice enough to lay in the yard, look at the blooming trees and relax. Finally, nightfall came, and the kiddies were put to bed.
04/21 Direct Link
What do people think about all day? I wonder if any of us are really concerned about who we are and what we do. I feel that the majority of people walking the streets are unconcerned about very much outside their own heads. We take comfort in the fact that we are not the victims of any wrongdoing, until it's us. Then it becomes another self absorbed episode of our useless lives. Just another day of complaining about things you can't control. We expect our friends and family to listen and say it'll get better but who gives a shit?
04/22 Direct Link
I wonder when I will die. I would like to know the day, the month, the year, all that. If I knew, I could plan better for my life. Like, if I were going to die next year, I'd party and fuck like no tomorrow. But then that is the problem. I would know when the axe would fall and be dreading it. So there is no way to know, but I could still party and fuck until I did die. This would most likely accelerate the demise. So I guess I have not an answer, just certain undetermined death.
04/23 Direct Link
I was looking through some old photographs today and saw some friends I have not heard from in a long time. Most of these people were hard lifer types. Lived only for the next instant gratifying experience, whether it be drugs, sex, food, or whatever. I remember I was like them, but I changed. I stop doing all things that deliver instant gratification. Now I live with less and have more. I think the reason why is because I saw these people in the future, suffering and struggling, never being anyone but a slave to those addictions. I was lucky.
04/24 Direct Link
Sweet Cindy was adopted and raised Jewish. She was a tall fair haired girl, with blue eyes and a cute dimpled smile. Cindy went to school and met some other nice kids from the suburban neighborhood and they became friends. One was a boy who became Cindy's best friend. His name was Jim. After a time, the kids all went to highschool, and they grew up. Some experienced drugs alcohol and some studied hard. Cindy chose drugs and her friend Jim did too and he was gay. Now Cindy has holes in her head and Jim is dead from AIDS.
04/25 Direct Link
I have to get laid soon. Its getting terribly unbearable to not have sex once in a while. I have decided to try and get out more and maybe blow some cash on an internet dating service, which hasn't worked in the past, but you gotta keep trying. I am not looking just for sex. I need the whole package of relationship atmosphere. After the first few dates with someone, I can tell if it'll work. Over time you get better perception of what you want. However, you can't always tell what the other person is thinking all the time.
04/26 Direct Link
I was really fucking pissed off today. The anger welled up inside me like a seething hurl of vomit filled with beef stew, spewing forth with unstoppable force. Poetry in motion, and then sudden blindness of rage. I was thinking about killing the half-nigger fuck next door, who threatened me with some words, like I'm funna getchoo, muthahfuckah! A student of ignorance. He thinks he can get away with it, until I find him. He's going to awake some day with me standing over him, gun cocked and pointed at his head, say a prayer boy, cuz you is dead.
04/27 Direct Link
I also wanted to rip you up the middle sweet girlfriend, until you screamed with a most painful orgasm. The most painful you ever had. Even the one you had in the ass. Now get showered and dressed, fetch your notebook and go to a quiet safe spot and write your sonnet, dear. Write your sweet sonnet to your contrived immature mindless fuckhole of a person. I will walk up and read what you've written, slowly taking it from your hand, smiling. Write again dear, and make it good because I feel like shoving it in your rectum this time.
04/28 Direct Link
I am fucking sick of this springtime cliche in which a man's fancy turns to love. Well, FUCK THAT! Most of the people who are in "love" so-called, I may say, are too young to know what it actually means because their hormones are raging out of control and they are not thinking straight. If you are in love and you are under 30, not yet married you are probably just infatuated with the person you are with. You see God does not care if you are happy, he just wants to perpetuate the species. Except if you are gay.
04/29 Direct Link
Hey I got dumped by a woman I never met the other day. It was quite a new low for me because now I am able to maintain a relationship over an appliance and successfully get rejected without so much as meeting the person. I had ‘met' this person over the internet and we had talked a few times over the phone. She was always busy or something so a month of this and she tells me she has met someone. This says something about our society and its fucked-up rules. You can now get dumped without even meeting anyone.
04/30 Direct Link
Well, now I have a new set of challenges before me. I will continue to seek out a suitable mate if that is even possible, and address my current state of mind, for it is in need of some changes. I will revamp my methods, research further into why the fuck I don't have a mate, re-analyze my psyche, approach, attitude, etcetera. So I shall return later with the results of my ‘summer of searching' and promptly write the results here without compromise or delay. I hope that I am successful in at least getting a date or maybe laid.