BY Michael

01/17 Direct Link
Bill Gates knew that Google was getting too big for its shorts. Implementing a replacement for windows under the guise of a cute new browser? Something had to be done. Bill called his good friend China. “We’ve got to do something about Google,” Bill said. China said, “Huh?” “Take my word for it,” said Bill. “OK,” said China. “We will introduce more lead into their bottled water, and cut the prices so they drink more.” “I have a better idea,” said Bill. “I will send you a team of crack programmers and we will put a bug up Google’s ass.”
01/18 Direct Link
The crack operating systems programmers Bill sent to China got carried away. They opened nasty holes in both Google and Yahoo. Well, the opportunity was there. Reactions in the jaded general public were predictable. They knew a Microsoft Black Ops job when they saw one. The problem was this, “The King is dead; long live the king?” Is this what we are going to be facing when we switch allegiance from one dictatorial systems power to another? China, foaming at the mouth, decides to declare war on Google. But they don’t know who to bomb. It is like hunting terrorists.
01/19 Direct Link
My Mother called. She seemed to have forgotten what she called about. A few hours later my father called. He called, among other things to ask me to cancel their Blockbuster subscription, a Christmas gift I had given them several years ago: mail order movies. They don’t have a source near them and it made sense at the time. “They send us broken disks,” he complained. “We write “broken” on them and send them back, and they send the same broken disks back to us.” He had other issues too. "You are wasting your money son,” was his final comment.
01/20 Direct Link
After I agreed to shut off their Blockbuster subscription, my father told me a story of a friend of his who found a girlfriend on the internet. He said she was described as a petite and pretty little thing and his friend drove a considerable distance to meet the woman who turned out to very un-petite and not like the description at all. My father said one should be careful about meeting people on the internet. I assumed he was talking about me, since he was married and didn’t have a computer. He then asked if I had a girlfriend.
01/21 Direct Link
I used to work at Blockbuster. I know customer service is not one of their strengths. I heard it a lot from their customers. It was such that my parents wanted to shut off a free-to-them subscription because of the customer service. I was about to learn more. I had paid for January, so I knew that money was gone. What I didn’t know was that by shutting off my service on the 19th of January, they would send me a letter informing me my account would remain open until March 19th, and continue billing me for two more months.
01/22 Direct Link
It is another 33 degree slow melt teaser of a Friday. I erred in leaving the snow in the driveway. I am the only one in the subdivision with a two-inch pad of ice in my up-hill drive. I had forgotten about the reasons for some of these things, the reasons for removing the snow before you drive on it. I tried salt yesterday. I have another idea today though. My well holds a temperature around 40 degrees. If it is 33 out, I should be able to just turn the hose on the driveway and wash the ice away.
01/23 Direct Link
I hit the Coney at four. This is my first meal of the day, but it is too late for breakfast, so I opt for the stir-fry chicken and vegetable soup special. I also get a Diet Coke and a coffee. The coffee, I add two creams to and wrap my hands around, but I don’t drink. This is a large chain Coney. It occurs to me I have been a regular for about three years and don’t know anyone here. That is usual for me. Maybe it is a sign for me go find a new place to eat.