I am munching
on my late-morning bowl
of oatmeal and
as well as
I have not
scientific description of how
the music is
into the blood stream.
Nor do I understand
and complex sugars.
I do not
know how long it will
fuel me or
it is lasting
if I will
There are no
for a man of
the proper proportions
The sky is
In the old
In that way
an antlered antelope
by a group
We rise to
magic this same way
darker soft stones
clouds in the sky
with the forked tongue
and the wind
of secret wet ink runes.
Moon sky in
hides her face
And will not
whisper the way
angry wife she walks
We can fall
into a hole
Or walk off
But her face
will not change.
With heavy air
will itch inside
So that we
At her feet
that night she will
Kiss us with
forgotten how this thing is supposed to go;
is to be a lattice
with countless shining
the finest of points that
board will relentlessly pound
into a solid
There was a
day I would have been
one of the
young men who
walked by and casually
shoulder to it to
whole thing a spin.
I would have
designed it so it would
only that much thrust.
I sit beneath
the great round windows
one by one.
Well yes It is
another day very nearly like any other. Except for the uncertainty. And yet
uncertainty itself is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to choose the thing
you want, using the uncertainty as an excuse. It is reason to open dialogue
about the object of uncertainty to clarify the situation or even to talk about
the uncertainty itself and how the uncertainty developed and the various things
it could lead to. One could take it as
an opportunity to point out that not communicating is unhealthy in general, or
to discuss what not communicating inevitably leads to.
The boys are sleeping downstairs this morning which must
mean that the closed doors upstairs are hiding the girls. I know I went to bed late this morning with
the sounds of the party still in full bloom still telling myself that I would
have to tell Daniel that I would never be able to sleep though all that noise
and that was the last thought I recall.
The house is a little stuffy this morning and I open a couple doors to
let it breathe, and I pick up the dishes and start the dishwasher. I start the laptop.
When I saw you last night I was struck by my inability to
communicate anything meaningful. It is
as if my recent experiences are from a place that has no antecedents in my
current culture and language and are so alien that my attempts to speak of them
erupt as squeaks, gawks and useless noises and gestures that only surprise and embarrass
me. So I silence myself and go
away. It is safe to say that I sleep a
lot and that I seem to want to sleep a lot and I am not sure to what that is
I feel around the walls of this 100-words thing. It is both a trap and an apparatus that
allows me to breathe. It is a cage. It is the size to which this part of my world
has been reduced. It is the measure of
exactly how much energy I have left. And
it is a kind of energy because as I complete this, I fall asleep as often as
not. I think at times to escape this
confinement, but I realize that a confined life is certainly better than none
and it is not that I am unhappy here.
We are all liars:
Liars by preference,
Liars by profession,
Liars by lives
lived behind drapes of intimation
and partial confession.
We are the liars of lights
where lives are dim,
glowing in pearlescent moisture,
reaching dark‑gloved into the last seats,
packed into the backs of halls
where words hammer
softly on stained, chipped
We are liars stove up
and closed off from the truth,
talking fast with our backs
turned into the silence,
into the consequence.
into the betrayal
into the boards
Step into the hall,
where we are all
agreed to conform.
less dense these days as if the molecules are scattering apart and everything
is a translucent fog only loosely held together by an idea of what it once
thought it might be. I reach for an idea remember the spider outside my
window and I think it may be the same spider that has been there for several
years and that may be why it is so damn big that it causes a chill to go up the
side of my head when I consider it. A spider that big defies logic and
catches birds in its claws.
I bought a new vacuum cleaner today. I’m not entirey sure I needed one. Sometimes these things are not as clear cut
as they should be. The old one just was
not picking things up. It was wheezy and
had some congestion deep in the motor.
It was one of the household appliances that failed the first week after
my grandson moved in. It was a
seventy-five dollar vacuum that had lasted six years, a fair deal it seemed,
and after looking at the Dysons I bought another just like the one that had
died, Up to ninety-nine dollars
that I am hungry.
I’ve not had
how can you
think of anything
A hungry man
will do about
his mind is
he is likely
A hungry man
not to be
trusted and a
hungry child is a …
are some things I am simply
to write about.
convention on limitations
available to consideration
By persons of
certain sex, ethnic origin or economic
It is not
the locust leaves
acknowledge it has a certain weight
afternoon cutting through the dust
its own passage through objects
that may not
have been there before
and that in
that it may
lend a body
a certain sense of
My grandson has left off chopping on the hedge with the
chainsaw and has gone out on the back deck to smoke. He says he has quit because I got angry. The hedge looks like a teenage chainsaw
project. I am not angry about the hedge,
although I did get angry about his being contentious. That is what he is, more than any of my other
children have been. He will take up
verbal arms against nearly any statement or position. You
find you start having nothing at all to say so you do not have to argue pointlessly
Well, he did paint the deck and it looked pretty good, all
except for the patch in front of the door which did not get painted. “We need more paint,” he explained. “Except for the paint which I left in the
pan.” I look at the size of the patch in
front of the door and the amount of paint left in the pain. I estimate the cost of another gallon of
paint. He will argue for a gallon, of
course, although a pint would be nice.
Maybe this weekend would be a good time to go for more paint.
There are times I am about to write something that I know
will get me in trouble. Like the time I said
the bad thing about GM and all my GM students instantly were withdrawn from my
classes. Not that I went hungry, or even
saw a reduction in student load. I did
miss talking to the engineers because the GM engineers were more interesting
than the Samsung engineers to talk to. (Does
this mean the Samsung students will now go away?) I do not know why the GM engineers were more
interesting. Hiring policies? The Samsung engineers are younger.
But that is not what is bothering me. It is this Syria thing. The chemical weapons and so on. Our need to start another war. Mr. President we cannot afford another
war. You know this. They do not recognize our rule which they
violated and we will be in turn violating a rule of theirs that we do not
recognize. In turn they and some friends
will violate some rules of ours we they refuse to recognize. Could you look up from the ground for a
moment and into the future for some original idea here? Isn’t Napalm a chemical?
The grandson is out with granny Goodwitch, granny Glenda. He is not at school. He had a neurologist appointment today,
although he does not normally have school on Friday, although he does have
school on Friday once a month. he was
scheduled to have it this Friday because he had no school this Monday, but he
was scheduled for the neurologist although the appointment did not come off
because his mother failed to get the proper insurance authorization and the
doctor wants to be paid. He will turn
them away if they do not have proper authorization. Neurologists are smart.
I got my new driver’s license today. I was delighted to see that I had great
picture. Who would have thought I could
have a wonderful picture on a driver’s license?
I should celebrate and take it out for drinks, but no one would card me
and I would not get to show off my new picture.
I could just go down the street door to door and show people my new
picture. Look at that handsome
fella! Check out nice smile and those
great teeth. I wonder if they have a DMV
smile they just pasted over my face.
My grandson and I are not speaking. It was a rough afternoon. He thinks we are not speaking because I am
angry about the paintjob on the deck.
Actually I stopped being angry about that a long time ago and am letting
him continue to think that because I am enjoying the quiet. He is a contentious fellow and such an expert
on everything that it is easier to let him think I am angry with him and not
speaking than to deal with his friendly conversation sometimes. And he truly did make an awful mess of
painting the deck.
Maybe I have had some difficulty sorting out the boy. He did sort of appear on my doorstep
unexpectedly and although I have had experience with raising them, each child
is unique. They are like snowflakes or
maple leaves, only much more complicated.
Ok, so I look forward to days when his fairy grandmother steals him or
he spends the night with a friend. It is
a sort of relief. The last relative who
had him wouldn’t let him spend the night with friends. How silly.
It is essential! I would not
survive without “friend breaks.” He is
Yes, he is a high maintenance boy. Grandpa where are you???!!!! Will you fix me a breakfast sausage? Would
you go get me a ladder? My internet doesn't work. Did you shut me off? Grandpa I
am sorry I was a dick 15 minutes ago. I love you grandpa. Grandpa can I have
some cigarettes? My girlfriend is mad at me; what do I do? Grandpa I am boring.
Grandpa you need to buy a phone plan. I almost called you dad. Can I use the
dresser downstairs? Are you using this
remote? Is Christmas a big deal with
I have been an audiophile for a long time. An audiophile is a kind of a junkie. My grandson teases me when he catches me
looking at pictures of bright red 300-b tube amplifiers on the internet. He calls it my audio porn. A real hardware junky is anyone who has more
invested in his equipment than his music…some will tell you more than his house
these days. For sure they are
characterized by an obsessive desire to collect more audio-related trinkets,
amplifiers, squeakers, wires, you name it.
And yes, they stay up late at night looking at audio porn.
I’ve thinking about buying a new trimmer for about a week
now. I started to several days ago. I wanted to just get another electric trimmer. “You can’t,” said grandson. “You have to get a gas one.”
“Huh?” I don’t want a
“Sure you do. They
are better. I’m the one who is going to use it.”
“You never use it.
You are moving back to the UK in three months.”
“Gas is cheaper than electricity. You will be wasting your money.”
“I don’t want another gas can just for the 2-cycle mix.”
“You won’t need another can.”
Grandson and I were at Home Depot today and I sneaked off to
look at trimmers. I was holding a Toro
when I heard a woman’s sharp voice, “Don’t ever buy anything Toro. It’s a big
mistake. I looked up. She tore the Toro out of my hands and threw
it down in the aisle. “Here,” she shoved
a Ryobi in my hands.” This is what you
“Yeah, that’s what I been talking about.” It was grandson behind her. He took the Ryobi from me and started revving
it. It was battery powered and the
battery was live. I backed away.
Can I have a car for Christmas? Grandpa I’m sorry I was a dick 30 minutes ago. I love you grandpa. I really need a cigarette. Grandpa don't be such a dick. We need barbecue sauce grandpa. Where is the barbecue sauce then? How was I supposed to know that? Want
to go out on the porch with me while I smoke a cigarette grandpa? I think I
need a car before I get a job. How do I
get to the job without a car? I don't
want to be a bother to you. What does
contentious mean, grandpa?
has not yet been noted by anyone.
She must not
yet obey any particular laws
of man or god or physics or
slowly shakes her hair and loosens
autumn breeze through her limbs.
A white seed
pod is lifted from the ground
nearly a straight line, wavering
the colors begin to
fine tune as
the first automobile slides down
the street, but
the driver takes no note.
breaks over rooftops piercing and straightening
still half asleep.
because it rained yesterday
That the air
varnish on the stair rail became sticky.
Oh I am sure
this is some sign of inadequate
on my part
Or that the
varnish needs to be re-done
At the very
least that I should have paid more attention
To the humidity before I let grandson turn
exhaust fan to
stink out of his bedroom
It will be
better this morning though
If it does
not rain again oh look
tree has turned gold before my eyes!
I have a new take on the Syrian situation. President Shrewd is presiding now instead of
President Dimwit. He has thought this through
and has no intent of throwing biological weapons of mass destruction—American soldiers—or
even chemically based electronic weapons against this country. Instead his plan is to whip up a frenzy of
excitement and to publish the plight of the people while it becomes obvious
that he can do nothing himself because he has no support. This way he retains the support of everyone,
and even does a little to solve the problem.
Wonderfully played Mr. President!
I dragged my IPod out of the washing machine yesterday. Headphones and all. Was it a message that I have not been
exercising regularly enough that I left it unattended long enough to fall prey
to the laundry? It is the little
Nano. The question on my mind, of course
is, “will it work? "I can think of
all sorts of reasons why it might or might not, and I have not turned it on
yet. I have seen things like this go
through the wash and work fine—well sort of fine after drying out for a few
The Nextgen bridge crew is at their stations, staring at
their view screen watching the stars flash by.
They must be in warp drive or something.
This is the worst part of their job, the endless days of sitting in the
comfortable chairs watching the same tape loop of starr roll by on the view
screen. The empathy is getting
nervous. She has started realizing she
can actually read minds. It is not what
she thought it would be. Sometimes there
are voices, sometimes a jumble, but mostly they are blank. That is the scary part. Especially
Piccard. Totally blank.