last night i hop scotched
across your name tattooed
upon the stars

i walked around
the curve of your smile
and laid my head down for awhile

the jagged edges became smooth
again
as September slipped away
the clarity of moon crisp without the pain
the breath I wasn't sure about
came back in amazement...
clear in the first October rain

scratchy yesterdays
wind their way out the door
in through the outside
and back around to come back
next September for more

dreaming into moon beams
like whistles without mouths
your thoughts send me
send me down into the hot south

eyes like sandpaper
stare at the nails
of your words
you such an underachiever
me the foolish believer
and all this time passed
day after day

and I smiled
I didn’t know I was
watching my own
slow murder
I imagine you and I
in old age
glaring at each other

Then the youth
will be gone
and yet on goes that rage

I’ve painted pretty toe nails
shoved into pretty shoes
No one sees them,
oh the wasted time we loose

Always a moment that
I want to hold onto
is the
Moment that is gone,

always an ache

Screaming down my
Tattered eyes
Like dreams run dry
By staining lies


I’m wicked in
And then it
All comes out
I’m nothing left
Without a doubt


You trust me
Then and when
You see
That I’m lying
About the most of me


You’ll run and hide
Somewhere in before
And I’ll cry about
The nothing in store


Little does what
Only little has
But most of all
It will be left
To what little was


Pooling under
Below the ground
Wicked me
I stutter like
The gutter
Fools I’ve found


Nothing left
Zero to nothing
Score
I’ve been here
Before.

My head pounds against your door
Are you home
Home you stupid whore

My dreams died on your floor
Can you clean up the blood
From the crime about before

I don’t think I smile you anymore
Something wicked got all twisted
And this is unbending the score

Crime tape around the wind will soar
Some dumb pig cop whines
About nakedness you wore

Your tale lies oneself into lore
Pick up the fingerprints of ink
A fool will whistle through this chore

Murderous my thoughts are sore
For all demons I’ve known
You are the deadliest of all war

New song playin
And I’m still lyin
Along with the tune
We’re shaving close to the room
In a buttoned up envelope
I’m sliding down the slope
In silliness of poetry
I am losing all pity


Counting words
Absurd absurd
Typing like a chain gang
I’m like a maimed man
Dreaming clown faces
Happy is to what sad erases

Writing for the rules of it
Is totally a bunch of shhh…


Tools tools
Word count
Never never
Did amount
To much more than poetic art
All about today’s played part
Nine more are needed still
Now it’s all down





hill

Pumpkin latte
Bookstore adore
Pages in stacks
On stages in four
Falling dreaming
And being someone else
Lives and characters
Dancing on shelves
Over and under
Before and
Once more
I’m driving back
Over bridges
To read more

People and places
And time that erases
Moments of madness
Erotica in sadness

Authors and poets creating text
And I’m whispered in moments
Buying more than the rest
Colored like nightmares
And sung out like dreams
I’m just more than the words
Busting from the publisher’s seams

Pouring out ooze on your floor
Come finger my pages
You know you want more

Something is
Missing this
And what happened to
Then inside of when
I don’t know you anymore
I only know I keep
Flirting with the door
Inside out
And out about
And all the things you
Are
Have become all my doubt

And so I must go
On and on
Behind the moon
To dance with dawns

You are the stars
Burnt out light bulbs
You are songs
Missing words

You are meanings
For words that don’t exist
You are the dripping tears
You cause my mist

when I wish for this
Wait I never threw pennies Wanting anything but bliss

Bino is cuter
Than Quinton Tarantino
And I never drank
That drink they call Vino

Keith
Has teeth
That are whiter
Than beef
But I never saw him
Collect a autumn leaf

And Brad’s
Never ever sad
Least not that I’ve
Ever seen or had

And Bry’s got
No clue why
I can only sigh
And continue to
Tell a lie

Barry’s not harry
He’s just scary
He’s really got
A friend named Larry

And Joe
Wouldn’t know
I like him so
That’s how you grow
How poetry will flow

This poem was
Stupid
Is Stupid
Just because
It was

She said
Kiss on the cheek
He said
What?

She said
You make me weak
He said
Not

She said
Wish it were today
He said
It is left to someday

She said
I’m trying you know
He said
Stop crying though

She said
I know how I feel
He said
I want it really “real”

She said
I’m frustrated
He said
I’ve met agitated

She said
I know you’re the one
He said
For now lets have fun

She said
You know what?
He said
No I do not

She said
I love you
He said
I know you do

Time ticking
Like fingers crawling
Across my flesh

Never knowing
What will happen
Never wanting you
Any less

I’m full of fear
And maybe I need
To say goodbye

Maybe the truth
Is too far fetched
For me to grasp
So I’m holding
Onto a lie

Perhaps there
Is no true love
Perhaps I say too much

Maybe there is
No answer to
Questions..such…

I think I have to pursue
Myself
Seek her with a greed

A hungry never ending
Passion
That with you
I try to feed

Instead I must

Be full
Knowing I still seek

Check ads
Check papers
Look it all over
Sooner is fate her

Books, text
And winnings
Better when
It’s coming up next

Silly poetry
Day and night
And you take wrong
And make it right

Maybe I haven’t a clue
About me or about
The write of you
I’m just trying
To be for once
Less bluer than true

I’m giving more
Than I have in pockets
Clips of whisper hair
In absence of lockets

He said most of them
Ended up on crack
And I’m looking forward
Not falling back

One hundred
And none


Reasons I love you

one

I asked for peace
I can’t get quiet
I asked for a lease
On a sanity riot

I demanded nothing
Delivered no pain
I commanded things
That had no gain

I’m red riding
Without a hood
Always missing
Miss Understood

I’m not out to get you
I’m looking for me
Why can’t you believe
In something you can’t see

I’m a fairy tale
Ripped out of pages
Falling apart
In simplistic stages

Jerry Springer
Had a heart attack
In my life he lingers
Even he lost track

Give me peace
No more toil
Keep a memory sweet
That won’t spoil

I'm afraid
I want to arrange those words
Leave them laid
I want to walk away
And never see them again
I want to know happy
More then

It’s silly to think
Anyone else can
Understand
What its like
To be the lead
In the band

When they can’t play
My words today
They can only betray
Everything I say
It’s all over now
feeling that we
Can patch up the flat
Tire
Somehow

But I’m afraid
Of being alone
I’m afraid of not
Being good enough
And then I think
The only thing
I can think now


So what???

Your voice
Is Salve
Pretty words
Pretty exhales
Pretty is
How I feel

You’re happy
To all my sad

You’re sappy
To all my bad

And even when the river flows
I’m paddling along
In a boat with no sail
I am weak but no one knows

Until you come along
Singing a pretty song
And I am
Wishing I was there
To close my eyes
Lay my hands on
Your sighs
Smiling up at you
Watching you
Feeling you
Knowing you
In the real
Showing you
Instead of telling you
Just how I feel

"I wanna be your real"

Anguishing
Languishing
In the afterglow
Of sexy handwriting
Figure 8’s calm
Like rivers
From me to
You flow

Something in
My hands
Laying on your desk
Floating from my thoughts
To your hands flesh

I never had this
Feeling from giving
Before him
Before you
Something more special
Than on a whim
We two

You did the same thing
I did
You looked up storm
To see what that dream
Meant
Something simple
Something straight
Something curved
Something bent

Cards on walls
Books with my scrawls
Thanks for teaching me
To dream again
The words you see


Are with you

You are the sun
When I’m sandwiched
Between pain

You are the moon
When I am frozen
Like the rain

You are the light
When I am twisted
Up into the dark

You are the moment
When I have lost
Track of all time

You are the purity
When I have blurred
The clearest line

You are the laugh
When I am hanging
From my frown

You are the air
In my pretty balloon
That never lets me down

You are the love
That sheds it’s layers
Down to bare

You are the one
Person I will always
Want there

I’d rather stand
Close to the
Dangerous edge
Leaning forward
Arms outstretched
Believing I can fly
Out across the moon
To Jupiter
And swim back flips
Into a purple sea

Closing my eyes
Envisioning moments
That would happen
If and only if
In a dream clouded
Pink and new
By perfected reality

I’d rather move nearer
The edge of sanity
And jump without
Safety’s arms in secure
And freefall through
You’re bliss
Like sea gulls
Always find the shore

I’d rather choose
To believe in you
And see what I can
Come to be

I’d rather we believe in we

My eyes close
Anytime
In the middle of
The day

And think
About that
Dream
The one that
Makes me
Giggle
In silly
Little girl ways

Super soakers
And the waters
Knee deep
White wet tee’s
Soaked
Eyeful’s to keep

Grinning evil
At happy
Eyes
Running through
grass so high

I’m seeing sunshine
In your possibilities
Sometimes the thoughts
Of just what might be

It always makes me stop
And wipe the tears
At the realization
Of the wish for
Tomorrow’s years

You and me
Hand in hand
Smile in smile
So close yet
We’re crawling
Through the last mile

Every now and then there is a moment
That envelops you when two stars collide
And form a cloud with a silver lining
When Jupiter winks at the moon
And the sea waves to the sky
When the whole world tilts and
You hang on with magical hands
When everything good stays
And there is no slide

Every now just when there is a moment
When the hands meet upon the clock of time
And everything stops and for one moment
The world is silence like a mime
Once upon awhile there is a moment
When everything feels beautifully fine

You’re inside me
And you’re not here
You’re a part of me
And you’re still there

So close to me
In everything I do
Within everyday I am
Thinking so much of you

You’re there
When I cry
Wiping blue
From my eyes

Always next to me
You never falter
When I fall
You help me
strengthen my wall

When I come back to
The same wondering
I find that you are
The one it’s been for

Because of you
Everything I hope to be
And everything good I ever was
Have come together
Making one pretty picture
Of forever

Tonight I talked to logic
And logic told me you were
Fooling me
Tonight I fought with intellect
And intellect informed me
That you have built walls
Around your heart

Tonight I struggled with love
And love told me that
My walls are crumbling down
All around what might be
I just can’t wait to know
Or to see

Tonight I danced with danger
Telling you that it didn’t matter
When maybe everything you do
Replaces everything you can’t say

Tonight I hugged myself
Tighter than my inner fight
And I bled to be me
With wings taking free flight

It hurts when you have
Nothing pretty to say
When your crayons are
All titled in gray

I never know what
To do when I feel like this
This agony is the evil twin
To that ignorant bliss

And maybe I need to disappear
Inside a raw happy feeling…
A better memory than despair
Smiling is better for healing

Maybe if I loved you
Like I keep thinking I do
I’d just walk away and let
You find peace with you

Maybe being sad is
For being alone
Maybe you’ll be the memory
I’ll always be glad
To have known

its like parachuting
you discuss it in class
take notes
pack your chute for practice
its all different when your up
in that plane
3000 ft above ground
and gotta jump for real
once you jump if you dont
pull the rip cord your dog meat
youll be safe if
you stay on the plane
but youll never get
to experience sky diving
without jumping
then it comes down to
you gotta take chances



i would jump knowing i
was gonna be dog meat
if you were gonna be
in the sky with me.....

even for such a brief moment

I’ve gotten rather busy
Being bothered by me
I’ve been wrapping up
My presents
Been getting
Lost in history

Walking 5th avenue
All by my side
I see to the left
Something I once was
But now I hide
Staring out from heaven
Standing next to hell
He’s a moment of my
Memory
A fan of fantasy’s
I tell

Smiling on the
Whim of
Hollow eyes
Carved out from
Inside sin

Like a thin crack
Rolling across the sky
Spelling out something
To a naked eye

Seeing him
For what he is
The way I wish
I could
Envision him

What do you do
When you have no words
Does god ticker tape
Brand new ones out of the sky

The special ones
That explain all the
Where who did it’s
And the undeniable whys

Do you put down your pen
And pick up a paintbrush
Or do you whisper inaudible
Hoping for a beautiful hush

What do you do
When you have no words
Do you pull them from
Fortune cookies
Or steal them from
Messenger birds?

Just silly putty
Them off graffiti walls
Pretend they’re sane
Or make up new ones
Call it your very own
“intextly” game

Feverish
Hot
Sweaty
Cold
Ice
Heaving
Sick
Disgusting
Grotesque
Bloated
Overheated
Temperature
Medicine
Ice
Ginger ale
Crackers
Blankets
Sheets
Strangled
Nauseous
Flu
Cold
Snot

And then what’s left
I’m sick sick sick
And then I can’t think think think
And I want want want
To just feel better again

I want to never taste
Theraflu again

I want to smile
And drink more than water
And I want to laugh
And I want to run
And I want to dance
With the stars
Across the midnight
Wearing smiles for clothes
Jewels for eyes

Fuck sick

I want to taste health

And...I'm beginning to wonder
what the hell I'm doing
I'm beginning to realize
that no matter what I do,
I'm a goner.
I love him and I can't unlove him
and I can't get away from
someone that's so much a part of me.
He's pushing me away,
or is he testing me?
I started out dreaming,
and now am I having
a long slow nightmare?
And I still can't open
my eyes
because I feel like if I do,
he'll be gone.
God help me.
God help him.
I know I wouldn't be
sleeping on the couch.
Too Late

Greedy
Needy
Confused
Abused
I’m lots of these
One words
And all the while
I forgot how to write
I’m entrapped in
What ifs
And lost on
Should be
And everyone
Says I can’t
Write anything
You see

I can’t cry razor blades
Or talk about the tears
I’ve eloquently made
I can’t blame anything
On any who or you
Like I used to do

I’ve lost the anger
For angst
The pain of disdain
The power of hurt
And the ink for pain

I just ramble in
Blissful happiness
Now that I found love
I’m just not the same

100 words at 1 am
and talk about the discipline
so much is going on again
it’s been the month
to unbend my mend

he’s difficult if
nothing less
and is that love
or something else

and why does it
feel so damn good
to know that he would
torture me to just make
me feel understood

the more I move forward
the more I realize
that I’ve changed in my mind
but not in other’s eyes

I wish I was that girl
He loves
I painted her perfect
She’d fit him like a glove

Is that me hiding scared?

Tiny limbs
And humble bones
In shadows of
What was once alone

I want to be the me
He sees
In moments of delighted
Fantasy

When the lights go out
And hands meet flesh
I want him to moan
But never in distress

I want to be writhe
And Slim
Perfect sweet
And finely trim

I want his eyes to
Fall all over me
Caressing deep
Already touching
What they see

I want him to kiss me
Inside the first moment
We meet
I want him to want me
Forever for keeps

Please make me the dream
He’s always seen

my Halloween
pumpkin has a picture of bin laden on it
he has a big long beard
and a turban
there’s a candle inside burning
his brain
me and my son
are gonna smash it tomorrow
with a playschool airplane

wonder why playschool
doesn't make plastic pretend bombs
maybe fisher price has that
hey I know a Little Tikes terrorist
play set would be good too...
"for all the little towel heads in your life
...hours of fun"

at least theres not anthrax in
my bin o’lantern
it’s just ugly

Be sure to wash your hands
after reading this poem