I looked into the moonlit sky and watch the stars twinkle overhead, hoping he was looking, at the moon, during the same time I was, so he could see that I was smiling because of his "being" in my life. I engaged a silent conversation with him in my mind, telling him how much I miss and love him, and shared the many lessons I've experienced during his absence. Oh how I wish I could hug him right here, right now...but I can't...so I'm going to close my eyes really, really, tight, and hug him with my imagination...

Stand over me majestically; tilt my chin up with your loving hand. Trace your massive cock lightly across my lips. Will my mouth to open and take you fully. Look deep into my eyes, show me that you yearn for me to pleasure you. Ask me...Go on...Say the words...Tell me what you want...Tell me... I grow moist with anticipation. I can make you tremble like a school boy... I can make you hard as a granite obelisk. But what is it you will do for me sir? I'm ready to cum hard. I've waited long enough.

My Pussycat is soft and gray. We sleep together. Sometimes she takes up half the bed and steals the covers. When she wakes up, she'll tap my face softly with her paw. When I am crying over a man, she looks at me as if to say, "Men are dogs." She likes when I feed her, but I told her she's got to do something with that cat butt of hers. The smell from the kitty litter box is killing me!!!! When I tell her that, she regally looks at me as if to say, "And your shit doesn't stink?!!!!"

A wooden heart, today's canvas for "Da Artiste Extraordinaire." Sand the corners; slather on pure, red, acrylic paint; coat with spray glitter; twist a little wire; adorn with glass beads for flavor; and a big, ruby red, raffia bow to top it off... Hmmmm...What will it say? How about, "No cranky asses allowed." Nah...not befitting a Goddess. Okay, how about, "Enter as you were born, barefoot and innocent." That's better. But "Da piece da resistance" - "The Temple of the Seer." Excellent...that says it all... I shall place it on my front door, in honor of my domain.

4-4-4
Did you forget? 'Cause I didn't.
I waited.
I hoped.
I anticipated.
But alas...
No phone call.
No E-mail.
No one-on-one
Nothing.
Just silence.
:::Sighing:::
And so I add another entry, "To whom it may concern."
The moon was so beautiful tonight. That's my moon....Remember? You dedicated it to me. I'll never forget that. It always makes me smile.
Just like you.

I'm going to bed now. I'll think about you before I close my eyes...and I'll pretend I'm snuggling you, and hearing all about your great adventures...

but sometimes, pretending just doesn't cut it...

We are not forcing you to make any choices...We are making you aware of what you are choosing. Your hearts can no longer be separated from one another. Now you are aware of the healing power and energy of love, which is a divine gift, not to be taken for granted. How else were we to demonstrate this to both of you? Do not be dismayed, all will be restored fully, because we see the desires of your hearts, and know them to be true. Be good to one another. And lift each other to new heights of ecstasy.

He stood abused, and wounded. His pain hit me like a tsunami. The tears he holds back, I cry tonight. All I want to do is scoop him up in my arms and take him away from all the pain. I want to hold him close, soothe his wounds, and comfort his heart. The depth of love and compassion I have for him consumes my being. I can't imagine one moment of my life, without him in it. We brought each other back to life. Together we are strong. Together we are hope. Together we are love. We are one.

I could have asked for anything...to be a size four...to be rich...to be famous...I asked for you. I stood underneath the moon bartering with God/ess. "If you want me to keep healing hearts, then I need my heart healed..." I remember the divine feeling of peace that swept over me, and a soothing voice saying, "Go home child...Your prayers have been answered." And then one day, you stood before me, and took my breath away. I fell in love with you at that very moment. And today, I fell in love with you even more.

The softness of his hair brushing against my cheek, as he snuggled his head on my shoulder, filled my heart with desire. That one moment, so blissful and sweet, reconfirmed how deeply I love him. The torture of parting from his presence causes waves of tears to flow uncontrollably. I belong with him. Yesterday, I gave him something so precious, that I have left myself vulnerable, weak, and exposed. And yet, I could do nothing less... I cannot bear to see him unhappy. And if doing this gives him happiness, then I have done the right thing. God/ess help me.

"You want to see it?"
"Yes, I do...Let me look..."
Out pops the most beautiful penis I have ever laid eyes on...
"Awww...Look at it...Can I kiss it?"
"Yes."
Firmly grasping the shaft, I place butterfly kisses at the head and all around the shaft.
"I love you."
Swooping down on his massive cock with my velvet tongue and silky lips, giggling as he squirms with pleasure...
"Don't stop...Please don't stop..."
"Okay..."
Smiling I smack my pouty lips with his penis...
"I want you to come all over my face..."
"Are you serious?"
"Ah huh..."
I love his cum...

Thank you for reminding me of who I am, and who I was. Nearly a quarter of a century has passed us by, and yet here you stand...You lift me off my feet, twirl me around, crying tears of joy, telling me how gorgeous I am, and how much you missed me. It felt so good to feel the strength of your arms around me, as I collapsed in laughter and tears. You still have that handsome, little boy smile, and that lusty twinkle in your eyes. It's good to laugh with you again, and recall our adventures together.

To quiet the mind...To rest in the silence...is to connect with the divine. To find that sacred space within, the place of divine bliss, beauty, and love, is sweet healing for my soul. Every once in a while, I find you there, waiting for me, extending your hand to mine, ready to share, to play, to "be." Sometimes we hold each other, and bask in the light and "knowing." I find the more I allow myself to journey to that space, the clearer my understanding is of my own existence. Today, in the silence, I basked in truth.

For a moment, I broke down today. I felt like a child stomping her foot and crying, "WHAT ABOUT ME???!!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS!!!!!" And all I really wanted was for someone to hold me and love me, and tell me everything would be okay. You know, sometimes I'm so use to holding everything together, that when I fall apart, I wonder if anyone will notice the missing pieces? And yet, I'm required to continue functioning...to heal the hearts of humanity... Well, my heart needs...NEEDS...NOW... I'm holding on by a thread here people...PLEASE PAY ATTENTION...Please...

What if...We play in the treehouse?
What if...We snuggle each other and enjoy the warmth and softness of each other's bodies?
What if...We Laugh and talk all day?
What if...I am happiest when we share time together.
What if...I love your sweet butterfly kisses?
What if...We're meant to be together?
What if...We see each other's souls?
What if...I enjoy pleasuring you again and again?
What if...YOU LOVE IT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What if...You're the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing at night?
What if...We're in love?

Today I played with My Pussy.
She's dark gray, and very soft.
I like to stroke My Pussy.
The more I stroke, the more she purrs, the more she purrs, the more she likes to rub up against things.
Sometimes My Pussy likes to stretch....and sometimes My Pussy likes to lick herself.
It's amazing how many positions My Pussy can get into.
My Pussy fits just right.
I sleep with My Pussy. You would like that too, because My Pussy is very warm.
You can stroke My Pussy if you like.....
I love My Pussy, and so will you.

I had just come out of the shower, and was moping around the house, feeling NEGLECTED, and a LOW PRIORITY, when the door bell rang. "DARN!!!" I thought to myself, "My client is early." Dashing, I open the front door. Standing there, in glorious living color, is THE most gorgeous, black man I have every laid eyes on. He stood about 6'4", totally buff, beautiful, pearly white smile, and such incredible bedroom eyes. "You are indeed a vision Seer." He said to me, which is when I just about passed out, because all the blood rushed to my reproductive organs...

I wasn't afraid to love you, but I was afraid to open my heart fully.
I didn't think I could trust any man, but I began to trust you.
I don't understand why I am the way I am, but you helped me celebrate my gifts.
I can't make you love me, but I can love you.
I healed your wound, did you tend to mine?
I'm not the one, but I am the many.
You are my bestest friend, My Twinkie, but who am I?
I guess it doesn't matter, does it... but I thought it did.
Hello.
Goodbye.

I spent the day with My Beloved Sister today. She introduced me to an Extra Large, Dairy Queen Oreo Cookie Blizzard. Her whole face lit up as she tasted the first spoonful. The moment was priceless. Seeing her smile is like watching the sun rise on Maui. Together we are quite a pair. Magick is our middle name. We even went to Bachelor's Grove, conversed on tombstones, and channeled the dead. Even though we were prepared to spend money, our time together is priceless. Although we are not from the same womb, we are of the same heart. We're sisters.

Surrender...Surrender to the emotions. Surrender to the passion...the desire. Release...Release inhibitions. Release limitations. Expand...Expand upwardly...Expand gloriously... Explore...Explore unceasingly. Explore and enjoy the adventure. Accept...Accept yourself. Accept happiness. Try...Try...Try... Complete...Complete what is necessary. Complete and be whole. Love...Love unconditionally. Love fearlessly. Dream...Dream reality...Dream awareness into being. Laugh...Laugh freely...openly... Touch...Touch warmly...Touch and feel the connection. Sing...Sing and communicate bliss. Stand...Stand and be unshakeable... Stand and stay grounded. Acknowledge...Acknowledge the beauty in "all that is." Remember...Remember all good things. Remember the truth.

I want that pearl necklace in more ways than one...Gotta have the real thing, no faux pearls for me! You can gently fasten it around my neck, or straddle and trace your magnificent scepter against my face. You can go to a jeweler, or you can take your jewels and dangle them into my mouth...I'd receive it with delight, holding it lovingly against my chest. Obviously I would open my mouth and test the slick smoothness, feeling for a little roughness... It fits so perfectly, yes?! You can pay a fortune, or you can drizzle your rich creme...

The sweetest thing I saw tonight, as I was walking through the mall, was a middle aged couple holding hands, looking into each other's eyes with love and adoration. They weren't the most handsome couple by the world's standards, but the energy of love between them was breathtaking. I walked behind them for a little bit, smiling, watching their small gestures of romance. He made her feel beautiful, and she made him feel handsome. Together they were perfection. They didn't care what anyone thought. They didn't hide their love for one another. I realized how precious moments like that are.

Oh how I get blissfully lost in those handsome eyes. I would know them anywhere. Can his eyes see what I see? Do they want to?

When he held me, I didn't want to let go.

When I pleasured him...I didn't want to stop.

And in that one perfect moment, the chasm between us, filled. Our energies orgasmically melded into one surging burst of light...as we gave our souls to one another...

In the silence, I hear my heart yearning for him...

I can't stop loving him...I don't want to.

Today I held heaven in my arms.

Looking out the jet window, I was delighted to see zillions of lights decorating the darkened landscape beneath me. "God's Christmas Lights..." I thought, pondering how many individual lives and dramas were being experienced below... Somewhere down there was My Beloved. Certainly he would have THE brightest light! I thought about how much I missed home, family, friends, and my bed... Pressing my face against the window, I looked closely at the jet wing, remembering that spooky Twilight Zone episode - starring William Shatner -when unknowingly I saw my own reflection, yelped, and started cracking up laughing, because I scared myself...

Come closer...

Yeah, you...

Do you remember me? 'Cause I sure haven't forgotten you.

Listen, I've got a proposition for you...

Lean closer...

I'm horny and I wanna fuck.

Got it?!

I wanna suck your cock dry...slowly...

That's right...

I wanna probe every orifice of your body with my tongue.

I wanna hear you moan with sheer, torturous, ecstasy...

You know how to do that don't you?

Of course you do.

Pull that big boy out...

Now bend over like a good boy...

This isn't going to hurt...

You'll enjoy every moment of what I'm going to give you.

Through the eyes of the owl, I see you clearly. You can't hide in the shadows, where there is light. You, who profess to be my best friend, a light worker, destroy the innocent with your vanity and ego. I, who have adored you, see your political agenda clearly. A Seer is never blind. Your dishonesty can't be masked behind a fake smile, or sugar coated words. Surely you knew I would stand for justice... I wish you no harm, but stay the fuck away from me... I'll take this to the astral parking lot if necessary... Good-bye Atlantis.

I leap like a panther, from the depths of slumber, because the phone rings, and I know it's him.

I jump out of the shower, freezing, soaking wet, shampoo in my hair and eyes, dashing butt naked through a hotel room, because the phone rings, and I know it's him.

I rearrange my whole entire schedule, because the phone rings, and I know it's him.

I'll cut a conversation on the phone quickly, because the phone rings, and I know it's him.

And what am I doing now? I'm waiting anxiously, because the phone rings, and I know it's him.

...................I dreamed about My Beloved all night long. I saw him standing in front of a skyrise -shallow, business people bustling around him - frantically calling my name, searching for me. I saw his face light up, when I appeared...soon we were in a beautiful meadow...happy and holding hands...a peaceful breeze caressing our faces... He turned and looked at me so lovingly and said, "This is heaven." Soon we were snuggling together on a bench, overlooking the ocean...It was oh so peaceful...and he said, "Please don't ever leave me...Life would be so empty without you."...............

He touched me as I'd allowed no man to ever to touch me. Although it was terrifying to feel so vulnerable, it was also very healing. The heat of our energies bonding with one another melt layers of false protection away, causing my heart to well up with a cornucopia of tears. Intense emotions flushed throughout my body... The abused little girl in me fought feeling such tender emotions. I knew what he was doing was vital to my healing... If I were to allow him to see the wounds, would he still love me? Can I be safe now?

The Healing Chamber contains four digital monitors, with healing prayers scrolling continuously. An unexpected audience seeking wisdom from the High Council assembled there. Feeling like Alice in Wonderland as I sat in an oversized chair, all eyes eagerly focused on me. I closed my eyes, visualizing My Beloved next to me, his loving hand over my heart, and felt my heart melt into the warmth of that sacred space......When I opened my eyes, they were all crying...their faces aglow with awe and devotion. "What happened?" I asked. My hand absently drew to my chest, searching for his hand.........