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04/01 Direct Link
I could teach you to paint stars and count dew drops, but I will not tire you with games from our childhood. I cannot begin to fathom how our paths are different now – I am still a child and yet you, you have grown so much...I do not know you anymore.

Tell me about the purple sea stars and cerulean moonbeams overcast, but I can see that you do not wish to play silly games anymore. I cannot suppress my sadness for your forgotten childhood – I am still a child, and yet you, I do not know you anymore.

04/02 Direct Link
How many miles before a tired man can rest? He's served his country, watched many comrades die in the rage of battle. Blood does not win wars, nor do tears. His one desire is to be relieved of his burden. He is a tired man and all he wants to do is return home. The taste of his wife's lips still on his tongue; his son's voice resounding musically in his head. He prays for an end, but how will it end? He only hopes that God is smiling at him and that he'll be safe...at least for now.
04/03 Direct Link
You fold me away under the creases like origami. I am not the paper crane you have folded me into. Pretending to be proud. I cannot float, cannot fly, my wings just bleed into the water. I am melting away and there is nothing that I can do to stop myself from falling into the abyss. Your words are scissors and I feel that I cannot survive. Everything that is eventual will only come to an end. I will start a new beginning, a new beginning without you on the edges. For I am only origami, helpless under your fingertips.
04/04 Direct Link
For as long as I could remember I have been longing for someone to love me. For as long as I could remember I have pursued men that did not love me. I was always left heartbroken, standing teary-eyed in the swirl of metaphorical dust. Then I thought I found him, someone that I could love, someone who just might love me in return. I was scared and awkward in my advances and so unsure of everything. I finally mustered up the courage to tell him how I felt. And then he told me that he loved me....

I felt nothing.

04/05 Direct Link
I am hurting. I am hurting so much inside I cannot remember what it is like to be able to breathe. My heart is so heavy and my tears are threatening to wet the papers I am clutching to my chest. I am hurting so much inside. There is little that you can say or do that will make things right again. The one person that could seems a million miles away, and even if he did return, the hurt would still remain. I am hurting and I cannot stop the pain. I am hurting. I hate playing this game!
04/06 Direct Link
You never seem to listen, are your ears in another universe? I often imagine you without them...makes it easier to blame you because you need to be told twice when it comes to anything remotely important. Common sense must be explained to you, instructions must be written and never verbal. It is a wonder that you have survived this long without someone kicking you in frustration. Sometimes it is like talking to a wall because everything I say just gets thrown right back at me – you don't respond – I've learned to keep quiet. Now there's only silence between us.
04/07 Direct Link
Dreamed about a crazy bus driver – I cannot remember his face – I only remember his aura, a shade not quite black. I put my money into the till and placed myself between an old lady that seemed like she had to go to the bathroom, and a young man that stared blankly into space. There was an unwelcome stench of human waste, no one else seemed to take notice. I wanted off, I screamed at him and shook his shoulder violently. He turned to face me, pulling down his shades – those fiery red coals still make me scream at night...
04/08 Direct Link
There was once a woman that wanted nothing more than to grow old and die alone.

She once loved a young man, but the young man didn't love the woman as much as she loved him --

He left the woman to die alone...

But the woman was not alone, she had a child growing inside of her and soon the woman realized that she was no longer a woman but a mother --

She was not happy at all.

The child continued to grow, but he didn't want to be born...and his mother wasn't sure she wanted him born either.

04/09 Direct Link
I'm sad. I don't want to change, but I don't want to stand still either. I don't want to love him, but I don't want to lose him. I want happiness, but I don't want to forget sadness. So confused and unsure, I want everything but I want nothing. I want to know everything, but I want to know nothing. I want love, but I am afraid of love. I need love, but I repel it. I am sad, but I am happy. I smile, but I want to frown. Life is just confusing. I fake it at every turn.
04/10 Direct Link
I saw the mist of mangos in you. There's a blur in the distance, I cannot tell if I'm jaded by the serrated edges of your lies.

I can make out shadow of doubts chasing after you, chasing after me.

When are you going to stop playing this charade of moving monkeys along in rows?

I don't know why I drown, drink its essence.                  I'm imbued,                   I'm frightened

I love it when you lie to me.

I wanna be like you

I want to be a blur –               indistinguishable in the distance –

                         melting in the backdrop.
04/11 Direct Link
I'm trying to figure out what went wrong in the box you have made for yourself. The paper cage you dare to call "home". I'm trying to figure out why you prefer that prison to companionship, why you shun love from your life. I'm trying to figure out why you want to live a lie, why drowning yourself in light is forbidden. How can you live like this? How can you live like this? I cannot touch you. You don't exist. You revolt me. You revolt me. I cannot get through to you. Damn this paper cage! Let me in!
04/12 Direct Link
There's a drip, drip in your lingering gaze. A drip, drip in your philandering voice. I can't get you out of my head. You're driving a nail into my brain. Unparalleled, you're a picture that I want to soon forget. You're a drip, drip in the corner of my mind. A drip, drip that I want to turn off. The faucet of imagination seems to keep flowing and it's a permanent fear in which I sit and contemplate. These words cannot heal, these words cannot heal. Drip, drip goes your lingering gaze. Drip, drip is the philandering of your voice.
04/13 Direct Link
You float above me and circle in mysterious ways. There seems to be order in your disorder, but I cannot comprehend what you're trying to tell me.

All I want to do is run away from this place, run away from this reality.

I cannot take this shit anymore. I cannot take this shit anymore.

Fuck this place. Fuck this place.

If you have something to say then say it. I DARE you!

B'coz all I want to do is run away. There seems to be order in your disorder, but I cannot comprehend what you're trying to tell me.

04/14 Direct Link
I'm paying my time in seconds. I'm paying my time. I'm paying my time. I cannot run to you anymore. You don't want me here anymore. You don't want me here anymore. I'm paying my time in seconds. The seconds drift into the nothingness, drift into the nothingness in me. There's so much I want to tell you. There's so much that I want to tell you. But I cannot run to you anymore. I cannot run to you anymore. I'm paying for my time in seconds. I'm paying for my time in seconds. Knock three times before you enter.
04/15 Direct Link
Dance around me and my crystal orb. There's a fire in your eyes – I can see that they want to dance too. Dance around me and my crystal orb, breathe in the layering of ancients. There is still time for us. There is still time for us. Just dance around me and my crystal orb and you will see what it is to be in love. You will see what it is to be in love. Dance around me. Dance around me. Dance around me and this crystal orb. There's a fire in your eyes – I can taste their excitement.
04/16 Direct Link
Can you hear the sea maiden whispering? It's like the velvet moon singing to the star children.

Welcome Bitterness, take heed Saturn storms. Make wildfires in seaweed, hold the Mighty conch above your head, capture the Spirit of the sea.

Make my heart bleed, you know how my heart bleeds.

Can you hear the sea maiden singing? It's like the tinkling of dew drops on the end of lashes.

Welcome Melancholy, take heed Jupiter whirlwinds. Make clouds in the morning light, hold roaring cries of a hermit in your palm.

Make my heart bleed, you know how my heart bleeds.
04/17 Direct Link
I wish I knew what you wanted, but I don't think I even know what I want anymore. Why is this line broken, why is this line broken. Tell me what is this beautiful euphoria, this beautiful purple haze that consumes me. The curve of your body makes my abyss in which I am helpless once again. I wish I knew why you are running, but I wish I knew why I was stopping. Why is this line broken, why is this line broken. Tell me what is this that I feel, this Devil's horn in my side. Help me...
04/18 Direct Link
I scream at the sky and everything seems to come down. The infinite parting of goodbyes rain down on me.

You remind me of all the things, of all the things – it kills me to be close to you.

It has become a painful circle of staring each other down.

I scream, I scream and I stumble. Let my voice choke between the dying embers.

It's all the same, we become this suffering eagle staring each other down.

I scream, I scream and I stumble. Hear my voice choke between the last of the dying embers.

          I scream and stumble....
04/19 Direct Link
Mama I'm not a little boy anymore, let me see the world.
My son, you're not ready to see the ills of society nor this cling and clatter of obscurity.
Mama I'm not a little boy anymore, let me taste the sunlight, let me tear the silence of worlds apart.
My son you're not ready to taste the blood of men nor hear the clashing of different worlds.
Mama let me bear a burden, let me live beyond this cage, I'm boxed in –                 I'm not a little boy anymore...
I know my son, but I'm not ready yet to let go...
04/20 Direct Link
I forgive you for forgetting, there didn't seem to be words that would come between us, but everything seems to be falling apart. I am falling apart but I'm still addicted to you. Your comments now seem shallow, you're different now, I'm different now – everything is changing. Nothing seems to be going right, I don't know if I can figure it out, why I'm falling apart, why we're both falling apart. Now there are no words between us, we're falling apart. But I'm still addicted to you and it seems like everything is falling apart. Words between us fall apart.
04/21 Direct Link
There's nothing here for us, all it has been is one big mistake. Succumb to the nothingness between us, faithless under the velvet moon. I can hear dolphins crying, my soul whimpering for your release. Open your eyes, realize that there is nothing left to hold on to. There are only shreds of what we used to be, only remnants of what could have been but never was. I want to meld into the terra cotta stepping stones, just lay away for a while. I want you to let go. Become hollow, succumb to the faithlessness under the velvet moon.
04/22 Direct Link
You are my secret, keep it safe inside. You are my secret – hush – don't make a noise. Your whispers fall melodically in my ears. Don't make a sound – our breathing coming out as sighs, such sweetness surrounds me. Wrapped in your arms I feel enveloped in a sheet of warmth tingling under the quiver of your lips. I feel alive, my heart is racing, but be still, keep quiet – don't make a noise. It's almost daybreak and it saddens me that you must go, but the danger is still not over. Don't make a noise – Mrs. Jones is asleep downstairs...
04/23 Direct Link
Give me a reason to not turn my back on you. So many years have gone by and you have not once helped me. You left me for the wolves, drowning in my own blood, you stood by me and laughed at my misfortunes. I was treated as second rate, lower than scum. I was tortured and you were treated like a king. I saw no justice, no fairness...I saw nothing – I was nothing. Now you crawl before me, trembling like a little leaf. I don't know what to do, I don't trust myself when I am with you.
04/24 Direct Link
Carry me away with the wind, lend me the strength to go on. I lie awake at night and worry, about the things I have and haven't done. Sometimes I just want to fade away, sometimes I just want to disappear. Like a fading drop of water evaporating in the summer heat. Like the cry of the nightingale a mystical melody in the distance. There is much that I lay still contemplating, there is much that I sit here crying. Carry me away on a whimsical journey, so that I will not feel, I cannot feel. Nothing will be real...
04/25 Direct Link
Dear Santa,                                                              I know it's early but I wanted to get my letter right. Thanks for sending me that Barbie on my 5th Christmas...I couldn't have LOVED anything more...especially after her legs came off and her hair didn't grow back after I gave her a buzz cut. And not to mention the presents I NEVER got...you've disappointed me Santa. But I'll let that slide...send me a boyfriend this year, we'll call it even...but make sure he's intelligent, handsome, funny, monogamous, understands women...on second thought, send me a puppy, that man doesn't exist...                                                 Love, Me;)
04/26 Direct Link
I don't recall enrolling for a course in lung cancer when I first came to university. There's not much intellect living in these walls, butt-heads make smoke rings and I choke on stale air. Can't see the red? Maybe we should start tattooing non-smoking signs to your head. Getting the picture? No, I'm not being bitter... There is so much ignorance in this polluted place. Learn a little respect. You have a choice and people have the right to choose. I also have the right to choose, and my choice should be respected. Put the fire out, get the patch...
04/27 Direct Link
We are undefeated, we can move mountains. We laugh in the face of God's children. We are the untimely messengers, danger's last calling. There are no goodbyes and no tomorrows, only the here and the now. We are vulgar, we spit fires and walk in fields of atrocities. We know no boundaries, we know no justice. The ground trembles beneath us. We just act out of impulse and we act on emotion. Nothing can stop us, nothing will stop us. We are one! We are invincible! We are not God's puppets! We dance and we laugh...running towards the light...
04/28 Direct Link
Imagine you are weightless among the interlocking carbon structures. A dreamer, a beautiful dreamer floating high above. Hands meticulously folding the embers of chastity strewn across your middle, burning trails against your skin. The welts stay with you but you smile serenely as if no pain was felt. Your outstretched hand lingers a moment in the hourglass, dipping in the ethereal sands, blood dripping from the tips of your fingers. Gazing into no particular spot in the sky smiling wickedly as if you've been touched by some divine secret and you sigh in great sadness for the ignorance of humankind.
04/29 Direct Link
I think my butt's too big... My caboose takes up its own residence...can't fit through the fire escape...I think I should tell it to hit the road. Com'n get going! Argh! The fat never leaves when you want it to...darn it! Well I guess there's no way to tell the flab from my thighs to go away, nor the paunch of my stomach...think those have made permanent residence on my body, paying their rent with chocolate cakes and fattening sweets...getting larger by the minute. Just pass me the potato chips...maybe I'll try to diet – tomorrow...
04/30 Direct Link
Why am I the witness? Believe it is the end and I'm alone. Why am I here? It's true that there is nothing here. I'm afraid to say I love you. Why is there nothing here for me? Why do you run away? I can't believe this is goodbye...tell me this isn't goodbye. How can it be? How can you go? When we barely started...don't look back, I guess I'll just be baggage. You can't buy love...you can't trade it for a substitute. So I guess this is goodbye...tell me again why...guess this is goodbye.