A snowglobe sits on my night stand
next to the ivory alarm clock
there is a door mouse with a scarlet scarf
surrounded by decorated firs

I would pick up the tiny world
turn it upside down
gently shaking the white flecks of artificial snow
watching it collect on the surface
quickly inverting it with a vigourous shake

I'd watch the snow create
a swirling blizzard and fall around the door mouse

I would sigh
enviously
knowing that the door mouse lived a happy life
in its perfect world
but it only took one careless gesture to
destroy it all

The world right now seems like a lonely place. I can't seem to keep my foot in the door. There is only a dark cloud that hangs heavy over me. I can't shake the rain from the brim of my hat. I'm sorry if this is hurting you. I'm sorry for what pain I may have caused you. I didn't mean to do you any harm. I didn't mean to do you any harm. The world right now seems like a lonely place. I am feeling lonely. The world is lonely. I am alone in this cruel world. All alone.

Don't cry or I will. The tears just roll down like rivulets. The tears just roll down. Don't cry. Don't cry. I want to cry. I want to sob. Waiting. There's nothing but waiting that goes on in this life. The tears keep coming. The tears keep flowing. I want to hide. Let me hide. Let me hide. The tears just roll down like rivulets. Rivers are now around me. The tears just roll down. Don't cry or I will. Don't cry. Don't cry. I want to cry. I want to push you away. I cry. I cry. I cry.

Lonely number one is the odd one out. Lonely number one. He doesn't seem to have a partner. Doesn't seem to know which sits on right. Lonely number one, I don't blame you for looking like the odd one out. Have you forgotten me? Have you forgotten me? I bet you have. I bet you have. You say she was just a friend, but lonely number one you lie. You lie. You lie. Waiting but not wanting. Waiting but not wanting. Have you forgotten me? Have you forgotten me? I don't blame you. I don't blame you for forgetting me.

What is wrong with you? What is wrong with the way things are? I can't look at you anymore without getting sick. I can't look at you anymore. I wish that you didn't mean so much to me. I wish that you didn't make me feel empty inside. You don't understand me. I don't want you to try. You don't understand me. You keep asking why. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with the way things are? I can't look at you anymore without getting sick. I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you anymore.

Can you give me a butterfly? I want to know what it feels like to fly. To lose my breath. To lose myself. I want to feel weightless. I want to die. I want to hurl myself into the blanket of blue. I want to hurl myself into the blanket of blue. Butterfly oh butterfly. I wish I were a spirit like you. I want to know what it feels like to fly. I want to know what it feels like to die. To lose my breath. To lose myself. To feel lost in the blanket of blue. In blue.

The water is a murky wrinkled sheet of black. It is not velvet. It is not satin. I find the ripples intoxicating. They beckon. They call. They are the gentle fingers that want me to enter its world. They want me to enter their world. Enter their world. The water is a murky wrinkled sheet. It beckons. It calls. Their gentle fingers want me. They want me to enter their world. I don't think I can hold back much longer. Hold back much longer. Stop me. Stop me. I think I'm going in. Pull me under. Pull me down under.

Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason. To believe in God.

Empty your pockets. You don't need anything where we are going. The words don't seem to sit right, but it doesn't mean that the lack of truth will stop us from moving forward. Empty your pockets. Allow me to unravel. Allow me to drop to the floor. Where there is no gravity. Where there is no door. Empty your pockets. You don't need anything where we are going. Empty your pockets. Unwind and sit on the floor. Empty your pockets. Allow yourself to succumb. Empty your pockets. Allow yourself to unravel. Empty your pockets. Allow yourself to become undone. Undone.

Make me over again. I want to be molded with the clay in your sandbox. There is too much that I fear. There is too much going on here. I can't seem to find the right thing to tie a ribbon red. I can't seem to find the right words to say to make this wound heal. There is so much that I want to just start over and chip away. Start over and chip away. Make me over again. I want to feel again. I want to be molded with the clay in your sandbox. Make me over again.

Take me in your arms. I want to feel them wrap around me like they do around her. Take me in your arms and whisper the words of God. Whisper. Whisper. Whisper. Do you feel loved? I feel lost. I feel lost. I feel lost. Take me in your arms. I am gone. I am gone. I am gone. I can't feel. Everything is hollow. Everything is hollow on the inside. You're too late. You're too late. Take me in your arms. Whisper. Whisper. Whisper. Do you feel loved? I feel lost. I feel lost. Let me go. Let go.

Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. Do not love me. I am afraid. So afraid.

I don't want you to understand me. You don't have to understand me. I don't want you to understand me. I'm too scared to unravel before you. I'm too scared that you'll find out too much about me. I'm too scared to reveal who I am. I don't want you to understand me. I don't want you to understand. There is too much going on. Too much that you don't understand. You don't know. I don't want you to understand me. I'm too scared. Too scared to unravel before you. Too scared to be left naked. Lying on the floor.

Push if you think you can. Push if you think you want it bad. But I can't give you what you want. I can't get you what you need. Leave me. Leave me. Push if you think it's going to work. Push if you feel it's right. But don't come back if you fail. Don't come back if you know it's going to hurt. I don't want you here. Look at what you have done. Look at what these scars have showed. Push if you can. Push if you want it real bad. But you're not going to get anywhere.

I do not want to know what you are thinking. I am too scared to even know or try to learn what you are thinking. The mind is a spiral of spindly coral. It is malleable. It is fragile. It is plastic. I do not want to know what you are thinking. I do not want to even try. There is nothing there for me. There is nothing I need to know. Take this hammer and hit it home. Take this hammer and hit it home. Take this hammer and hit it home. Take this hammer and hit it home.

What I want I cannot have. What I want I do not need. I don't like what I see in the mirror. This girl is ugly. This girl is fat. She will never be loved. She will never be thin. She is a failure. She is a fraud. She only has herself to blame. She only has herself to blame. She is a bitch. An ugly bitch. A fat bitch. A lonely bitch. She only has herself to blame. She only has herself to blame. She's drifting. She's screwed. She's fucked three times over. She only has herself to blame.

Everything goes on in my mind, the movie plays over and over. I can't find the off switch, I don't think there is one. The movie plays over and over. I'm dumb. This is stupid. This is wrong. I can't touch you. I can't touch this. They speak no word of truth. They speak no word of truth. Everything plays over and over. I can't touch you. I wonder what words of kindness will do. I wonder which words will ruin this for us. I can't touch you. They speak no word of truth. You speak no word of truth.

Tell me tomorrow when you're ready to leave yourself again. Tell me when you're ready to drop your guard down. I don't think I can live like this anymore. I don't want to hide. I don't want to live here where I am not wanted. Don't make me pretend to like you. Don't make me pretend that this doesn't hurt. Don't make me pretend anymore. I'm tired of pretending. Tell me what I must do. Tell me why we're playing this game again. Tell me tomorrow. Tell me tomorrow. Tell me when you're ready to leave. Don't make me pretend.

You're a fucking loser. A shithead. A freaking maniac. You crack the mirrors and forge signatures on ready-made plastic photographs. You make cartons of milk turn sour and hair stand sideways. I've had enough of your fucking shenanigans. I've had enough. What the fuck is wrong with you? I can't comprehend. I don't want to understand. Where's the goddamn remote. I want to flip the channel. Let me flip the channel. I've had enough of this darn crap. Cut me loose. Cut me loose. I've had enough of this crap. Hand me the remote. Cut me loose. Cut me loose.

I can feel the movement of your eyes on the dark avenue of poetry. I can taste the static of your words. Wonder what it is that you're thinking. Wonder what it is that you're doing. I want to be where you are. I want to be where you are. Feel what you feel. See what you see. Be what you are. I want to feel the movement of your eyes on me. I want to taste the static of your words and sit in the calm of your voice. Wonder what you're thinking. Is it me on your mind?

The stereo can't stop the screaming, I try to hide by cannot in the corner of my room. I close my eyes trying to drown them with static, but the stereo can't stop the screaming. I can hear the shaking in your voice, the pain still remains, if I could wrap my arms around those words would the bruises fade? I turn up the volume, my ears bleed but the shower of echoes still rain down heavy. The stereo can't stop the screaming. The stereo can't stop the screaming. The radio static is screaming. Radio static. Radio static. Radio static.

I'm sorry that you're hurting. I want you to know I can feel your pain. No, I would be lying if I told you that. I don't know how you feel. I know it hurts. I know that I'm hurting because you are, but I don't know how deep the water runs. These words can't make it go away. These smiles don't give you cheer. A few tears give you some comfort, a shoulder to ease your fears. I'm sorry that you're hurting. I want you to know I care. I would be lying if I told you I understand.

These words are nothing. Let's not ruin this with words. These words mean nothing. Why do we do this to ourselves? I know that things aren't going well between us. I know that begging you to stop isn't going to do anything. These words seem to be lost. These words are lost in the stupid things that we do. I wonder what will become of us. I want to know when these lips will stop lying to my ears. Dormant in my fears. Not knowing what the clouds in my coffee tell me. The clouds in my coffee tell me.

Can't you see the whitening times splatter across the pavement. Click. Silence. Turn around again. Click. Silence. Turn around again. Can't you see the moments flicker. Can't you see that time doesn't want to stop. Click. Silence. Fall back again. Click. Silence. Fall back again. Things are normal again. Things are normal again. Click. Silence. Fall back. Turn around. Fall back. Turn around. Things are normal again. For one moment in the silence things were normal again. Can't you see the moments splatter. Can't you see the pavement scorched red. Click. Silence. Fall back again. Click. Silence. All over again.

Short. Tall. High. Low. Far. Near. Catch me if you can. Catch me if you can. Hot. Cold. Old. New. Beginning. End. Catch me if you can. Catch me if you can. I want to know who I am. Can you tell me? Catch me if you can. Catch me if you can. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. How can I find the beginning. How can I find the end. Life is not a perfect circle. Life lets us chase forbidden rainbows. Catch me if you can. I don't know who I am.

Promise me you will think of me when I am gone. For I want to take these tiny white pills and be free again. This suffocating blindness is too much for me. I am shackled in this black vessel. Promise me you will think of me. Promise me you will set me free. I want to pull on your hair and watch it fall. I want to cause a million tears. I want to hurt. I want to hurt. Promise me. Promise me this. Think of me when you are dreaming. Think of me and I shall be free again.

You don't know the way I feel. You don't know who I am. It's not easy being me. It's not easy being you. I can't fight this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I can't put these pieces together anymore. What's wrong with this? I want to break through. I need to break through. You don't know the way I feel. You don't know who I am. So stop. Stop telling me what to do. Stop telling me who I should be. Stop telling me how to feel. You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me.

Give me a place to call my own. A place that I can call my home. Please give me a field of grassy greens. A field of roses, pansies and dreams. Give me a rainbow and row upon row, of sprinkling fountains and birds on a bow. Give me a reason, a chance and a dream, for mankind and beauty devoid of any pained screams. Give me a place. Give me a place. Give me a place to call my own. A place where I can hide. A place where I know myself. Give me a chance to feel again.

Drowning. I am drowning in your voice. You swallow me with your words every time. You swallow me with your words every time. I don't know why I fall into the water. I don't know why I fall into the water. Flood the memories. Flood the dreams. Drowning. I am drowning in your voice. I am drowning in what I thought were words of love. Drowning because I don't know how I got to be this way. You swallow me with your words every time. You swallow me with your words. Why do I let you do this to me?

Worry not my little one. Rain will wash away your worries. Rain will wash away your pain. Go and listen to the children laugh. Go and listen to the children play. Understand that you will hurt sometimes. Understand wounds will heal with time. Worry not my little child. Worry not my little one. I will wipe away those sorrows. I will help you bear the pain. If my tears will heal your wounds. If my songs will wipe away fears. Worry not. Worry not. Worry not my little child. Rain, rain, rain. The sun will dry the rain. Worry not.

Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself. Lose yourself.