04/01 Direct Link
so this is how i start. i'm bored. no pranks today. so disappointing. i was hoping my chair would be tied to my desk, or my computer would be unplugged, or something. but i got nothing. i did have a bad day, though. i skipped class, so i missed the assigning of our group project. i hate group projects. but there's a guy in my class that's older, like me, and he emailed me and offered to be in my group. he hates group projects, too. i don't like being dependent in case they flake. sometimes i am the flake.
04/02 Direct Link
now it's friday. happy friday. it's bagel day at work. and today i hate my boss so much i want to gouge her eyes out with a rusty spoon. i want to play dead, roll over under my desk, close my eyes and stick out my tongue. i wonder if she would notice. (the old hag) she's really not that bad. we gossip and twitter. she's just crotchety (age) and forgetful (age) and moody (age. or alzheimers.). i am glad that it's friday. i should go tomorrow to get the emissions tested on my car, but i won't have time.
04/03 Direct Link
yesterday was so much better after work. andrew and i watched "rear window" and snuggled on the couch after dinner (i cooked!). today i closed my bank account, paid back mom, sat with pop pop for awhile and tutored a guy from my english class. we watched hellraiser (because i'd never seen it), and then the mothman prophesies. i'm creeped out now. the walls are creaking ominously and my mirror is looking at me funny. i'm waiting for something unspeakable with chattering teeth to grab me from under the bed and drag me off to... west virginia. i need sleep.
04/04 Direct Link
sleeping late, warm under the covers, snuggled with my man and my dogs is my favorite thing about sunday. mmm. just when we're about to get busy, the phone rings. the machine answers. a client. already on his way over to drop off work for andrew. sigh. so we go shopping, think about heading to the grocery store, but go buy shoes and clothes (sexy clothes that fit!) for my wonderful man instead. much later, we drove out to mom's to care for her pets since she's away. abby dog is very ill, so we take her home with us.
04/05 Direct Link
stayed home from work with very lonely and ouchy dog. mine are quizzical of this sad quiet fluffy lump on our couch. all are cuddly. finally found ailment (mostly ripped-off infected toenail – YUCK), probable cause of fever, partial cause of depression. we go to the vet, who is nice and talks too loud. abby's liver and kidneys are functioning (a concern), the toe is fixed, off we go with a ridiculous lime green bandage and antibiotics for the next month. shouldn't have paid back mom - the vet cost that much. midnight brings return of good humor in abby dog.
04/06 Direct Link
going to work today is the last thing i want to do. the morning is rushed with three animals. i'm late for work. after work i go to have my car's emissions tested (noisy muffler and we think a hole somewhere) and i PASS! even the testers are shocked. i thanked them all. got a 90 on my theatre test (online), and cuddled with dog chins. so many dogs on my bed now, i don't know what to do. andrew is wonderful and snuggly. we sat on the couch, covered in dog flesh, and watched our show. i am content.
04/07 Direct Link
i had an unremarkable work day, but came home to heaven. impersonated the maypole while taking all three dogs out to pee when i got home. andrew arrived like santa, bearing gifts of a new vacuum cleaner, a rice steamer, and a new microwave. i don't think we can afford the luxuries right now, but he was heartbroken when i suggested we return any of it. so i kissed him and thanked him for being the most wonderful lover in the world. he made me margaritas, cleaned and reorganized the kitchen, and grilled sausages for dinner. i'm so in love.
04/08 Direct Link
i love that when you make coffee in the morning, you pour me a cup, too. i love that you rest your hand on my leg when you're driving. i love that you call me just to tell me you love me. i love that when i'm doing the dishes you come into the kitchen to hug me and thank me. i love the way you say, "YOU'RE a (insert the word i've just said)." i love that you make up silly songs about the beagles. i love the way you kiss me. i love the way we make love.
04/09 Direct Link
more: i love that you make sure i have chapstick in the morning. i love that you care so much about dogs. i love your taste in music. i love that you like pigs, toads, and teddy bears. i love the way you romance me every day. i love that you notice how hard i try. i love that you forgive my idiocies. i love that you shower with me. i love that you take walks with me, for ice cream, or nothing. i love your cooking, and love that you always compliment mine. i love that you encourage me.
04/10 Direct Link
da da da da da. that's how i feel today. da da da. blue sky. windows down. driving in sunshine. i opened the windows when i got home, cuddled and walked the doggies. i'm dancing all over the place. even though everyone laughs because i am a bad dancer. da da da. ate an orange in the sun outside. the grass is very green and too long because it has been raining. it's supposed to start raining again tomorrow. i don't like rain. i read somewhere that weather should either be celebrated or ignored. i wish i were that disciplined.
04/11 Direct Link
what a blechy day, with light rain and low clouds and it's only 50 degrees. i should have tried to get you to stay in bed with me, but it's a family day, so we went to yours, then mine. hello, eat, chat, kiss, goodbye. and then again, hello, eat, chat, kiss, goodbye. driving in the rain on the highway, gray day, gray me. have to do laundry tonight because we're both out of clean pants. we can't go to work tomorrow naked. or can we? i wonder what would happen if we did? do you think they'd fire us?
04/12 Direct Link
i'm not sure if the way i am on the inside translates very well to the outside. it's just a feeling i've got sometimes, not someone's specific reaction. i think i might be paranoid. i wish the rain would stop. it makes me wonder about life in the dusty space under the bed. how do the dust bunnies feel about the rain? do they long for the dry static of winter to plump them up as they roam the halls at night? or do they prefer the weather to match their furry coats, gray and drab, hidden under the furniture...
04/13 Direct Link
a lazy sunny morning. i wake up and look around. I see my wonderful man snoring on the pillow next to mine, his hair mussed, a hand resting on my thigh. the dogs are spread out and warm on the covers, the little one looks over at me, stretches and wiggles, then lets out a long grumbley sigh. my chest gets tight and my eyesight blurs – i am so lucky. i am so happy. what did i do to deserve this home, this man, these animals, this LIFE that i love so much? i wish the rain would stop soon...
04/14 Direct Link
dogshit. that's right. dogshit. three inches higher than any of our dog butts, a half-inch gob of dogshit was found today, stuck to one of the cabinet doors in the kitchen. it's a mystery. i'm watching a very bad movie on tv. that's what i get for having digital cable. crappy movies, as many as i want, whenever i want. we keep threatening to cancel the service, but we never do. i don't know why. i end up watching things that i wish i hadn't started watching (because i get sucked in and i just HAVE to see what happens).
04/15 Direct Link
disconcerted over the Poo On The Cabinet Incident yesterday, we had the dogs sleep in the kitchen last night. this morning, without dogs on the bed, we woke up actually touching each other for a change. and randy. so? we tumble in the sheets, sleepy, eyes half closed, slowly, even though we didn't really have the time. it's always worth it. once, after i'd related my past 7 years of relationships over wine, fred told me that it sounded like i'd been through hell to get where i am now with you. so maybe i've earned this gift of you.
04/16 Direct Link
another friday. happy friday (bagel day at work!). today i canceled my plans with one new girl to see another. i felt guilty, but not for long. we had giggling conversation of waxing (argentine v US) and farting, even when another girl (new to both of us) joined our table. i am impressed. grateful for the comfort. my wonderful (silly) lover waited up for me, and the sweetness was so tired when i got home at 1am. i have no more words today.
04/17 Direct Link
i forgot to enter words. now i'm stuck going backwards and trying to remember the interesting things. i'm happy all the time. a saturday. what did i do? i don't have a clue. one third finished. the dogs are happy. too many dogs. still too many dogs. now i'm half done. like vegetables. i wonder what mo is doing. i miss him and his lovely lady. should i make a rant? question my universe? thank my friends? someone, please, give me an idea! did you know that the gestation period for a mouse is only about nineteen days? that's scary.
04/18 Direct Link
now i need an idea and my muse is on her computer, blocking up her phone line, making me hang here with a blank page in front of me, its whiteness staring me down like a... like a blank page. *sigh. happy sunday. we spent the whole day in fells point, soaking up the sun and the salty air from the bay. we saw some really fat people, bought lover some cool shirts, drank beers and had the worst waitress ever. and my fish and chips tasted like oily water. how's that for description? i really hate my english teacher.
04/19 Direct Link
monday. what shall i focus on for this day? my lover has the biggest hairiest ass on the face of the earth. i'm just writing that because i know that eventually he'll follow the link i emailed him forever ago and see that i told the whole world wide web that he has the biggest hairiest ass on the planet and laugh until he cries. and then my life will be complete. there's a kid's book about that. ‘the day my butt went psycho.' it's a great book, for a nine year old. it's on the back of our toilet.
04/20 Direct Link
i don't want to just sit here and complain, but my english teacher really sucks. i had no idea that pregnant women could be so annoying without being mean. moving on, i'm freaking about the interview i had last week because i still haven't heard anything about it. i'm erasing and fixing my typos, even though i'm not supposed to, because i'm not drunk, i just type too fast. shall i leave them in? now i'm just blathering and this will be no fun for anyone to read ever. i should have kept up with this and done something worthwhile.
04/21 Direct Link
i've got to start building up my tolerance to alcohol for our italy trip. italy!!! i think plane tickets may be the best gift for your girlfriend on valentines day ever and i highly recommend it for anyone out there in need of an idea. i read somewhere that in order to be a big drinker in a hurry one should do shots of bacardi 151, like one a night for a few days, and then two a night for the next few days, and so on. i don't want to do that, so i'll fall down drunk in turin.
04/22 Direct Link
we watched the weirdest video ever in class tonight about people with mental disorders. i wish it had been the pbs documentary on turret's syndrome that i saw a few years ago. that was amazing. i feel bad saying that it made me laugh so hard i cried, but it did; several times in one hour. they showed this one guy, like a regular business suit type of guy, well they showed him walking through a train station, when out of nowhere he just screamed, "m-m-m-my PANTS ARE ON FIRE!" at the top of his lungs. i was very impressed.
04/23 Direct Link
i'm so glad that it's friday. i get to go home and pack because tomorrow we're going to the BEACH! i love the ocean, even when it's too cold to go in. i just need to be there. lover calls it my "ocean quotient" and says i'm due. could i object? the day goes by slower than the universe ever allows, and when i'm finally free, i do all of lover's laundry so that he has clean underwear to take off as soon as we get to the hotel room with a balcony that looks out right onto the OCEAN!
04/24 Direct Link
wonderful in every way. we woke up late, but we really didn't care, and started our drive to the shore. along the way lover spots an abandoned hotel a la bates motel, so we stopped to shoot some film. he reiterates his profound love for the new gear (purchased with ITALY in mind), and i pick up some rocks for veronica after taking some shots for her as well. after arrival, we scope the great veiw from the room, toss the sheets, nap, got a sunburn scoping out the boardwalk, and used the aforementioned gear to capture the night skyline.
04/25 Direct Link
another day of waking up late! bought a hat and spent the day looking at the ocean while walking, talking, people watching, eating and drinking beer. heaven!!! i really needed the smell of ocean. we brought back little bits of candy and yum for katie and john in thanks for watching the dogs, and i couldn't resist a super ugly blue and brown tiki shot glass for lover and me. we ate boardwalk fries and drove home. did you know that there are little island thingies under the bay bridge to anchor the tension wires, and they're covered in seagulls?
04/26 Direct Link
*sigh. i had a crush on garfield when i was a kid, mostly because i hate mondays. ask jerry cunningham about that. he'll remember. my sunburn is killing me, and i'm already starting to peel – gross. i'm starting to get excited about the cicadas – it's been like seventeen years! dinky little baltimore will be making the national news for something other than syphilis and murder for the first time in that long. ha ha! i remember the last time. empty brown skins everywhere, getting smacked in the face by blind-flying red-eyed two-inch monsters buzzing loudly from every tree for weeks.
04/27 Direct Link
i've got an interview tomorrow. i feel duplicitous. it's been a full week without the third dog today. mom made fun of me, "i never thought jenni would grow up to be the type of person who would be concerned about DOG HAIR." i'm still vacuuming up wild long haired dust bunnies that creep out of the corners at night and grab my ankles when i get up in the morning to let MY dogs out to pee. i read somewhere that if you run over a dust bunny just right in rollerblades that it will ignite. i've never tried.
04/28 Direct Link
why oh why did i get out of bed today? started off good, best hair day ever, well rested, good outfit, my long-awaited important interview. nice, right? BAM!!!! little girl in a honda pulled out in front of me, and now my poor little loyal geo is toast. squished, leaking, creaking, mangled toast. airbags suck. the ER doctor asks, "was your nose crooked BEFORE the accident?" and lover starts laughing hysterically. i say, "if i say no, will you fix it?" doctor dude has no sense of humor, and reminds me that meryl streep never had hers done. gee, thanks.
04/29 Direct Link
i don't have a hundred words today. i am in bed because a mack truck ran over me, stopped, slowly backed over me again, pulled back for a few hundred meters, got some speed going, and ran over me AGAIN. ouch. my feet hurt because i was standing on my brake pedal when i hit. it wasn't my fault, and i'm the one who can't move. last night i was giddy with adrenaline, chatting up the dinner guests, and today i wish i could live without breathing. i repeat, airbags suck. my nose is blue, even though it's not broken.
04/30 Direct Link
slowly hobbled around today and did the dishes because they stank. napped. watched eighty thousand borrowed episodes of sex in the city on DVD, so i'm feeling chatty. katie asked me out for coffee, and i accepted, but obviously made her drive. slouched in the starbucks crappy lawn chair in my sexy hangover sunglasses even though we were in the shade and i wasn't hungover at all. i felt so crappy i wanted a cigarette so my insides could match my outsides. but i don't because i'm out of cash and won't waste the money anyway. i'll smoke in italy.