REPORT A PROBLEM
How can a fifty-year-old man be so damn cute? I arrived a little early though I called and left a message on his cell phone. His brother was grinning as I walked in the house. He informed me that Phoenix had been running around all afternoon getting ready for my arrival wanting everything to be perfect when I got there. I found him putting his underwear away after he had neatly folded it. He was slightly flustered that I had arrived so early. After he took his shower, we snuggled in his brand new, big, fluffy bed! Heaven on earth…
I sat in the principal's office and wondered what in the world he could have done? He had not been any trouble so far. Aside from his attention problems and difficulty with academics, this was my first call to the principal's office. Turns out, he and his friend, James, had illustrated a booklet of the most adolescent porn images a third-grader could possibly muster. Years later, a fine looking young man walked into my house. "Who's your friend?" I queried. The Prodigal Son replied, "James…you know, third-grade James?" with a grin. He died in a car accident two years ago.
I lit the candles I gave him with as a "room warming" gift and waited. He had indicated that he was looking forward to seeing me. I woke around midnight. The cheap candles had burned down completely and made a mess. I heard voices and car doors. Outside, the men had just returned in one vehicle only to climb into another and drive away. What the fuck? I cried quietly. I had stopped by the time he returned and arrived upstairs. Naturally, there was some crisis that had kept him away and he made it up to me. Hurt, nonetheless.
The street fair was just what I needed. Watching the brothers work on the brick border in the back yard had gotten, well, frankly…BORING!!! So I hopped on down to the little street fair the tiny community was hosting and hung out with my best friend and her family. During the course of the day I ate a taco, danced in the street to some KICK-ASS music, filled out raffle tickets to support my friend's little league, wore a yellow ribbon wreath with a long, curly pony tail, and paid one dollar to go down the giant, inflatable slide.
With the thong, you can't go wrong. I never thought I would see the day when I put my granny panties away. With the weight loss, the fanny began to shrink and the smaller ass caused me to think. Picking my underwear out of the crack of my ass had begun to make me feel not a very ladylike lass. My daughter cried, "You need a thong, Mom," and I listened for once. Now I don't feel like a dunce. The thin strand of material is so deeply embedded that you hardly feel it, which is what I had dreaded.
I consider this place my "secret garden." This is my place to go to be myself. I come here to speak my mind. I come here to reveal my dark secrets. Somehow, the idea that strangers read it doesn't bother me. But I don't give this info out to many. Certainly not Phoenix. He would never understand. There is only one person I know of who reads this and he is what Stephen King would call my "reader." He is the only one privy to my secrets. I hope my writing entertains him as much as it cleanses my soul.
She had found just the box for shipping the product literature. The box was heavy, so she decided she would go and get the packing peanuts from the shipping area and bring them to the front. So, off she trotted to where she knew she would find her treasure. She spied an almost empty bag. "That would be plenty," she thought. She picked up the bag and as she walked into the front office, everyone started to laugh. She was leaving a trail of peanuts all the way from the back to the front office. Now they call her Gretal.
Have you ever experienced something so deeply that you lost track of space and time? I drove into the most beautiful painting my eyes have ever beheld. After an awful start on my drive to Las Vegas, I was gifted with the most amazing eye candy I have ever seen. The sun was setting behind me turning the clouds cotton candy pink. Ahead, on each side, the desert brush lit up with the glow of the setting sun and the mountains rose on each side to complete the picture in front of me. I became part of the painting. Being.
Nothing. Void. Flicker. Dim. Grows. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Magnificent. Awesome. Breathtaking. Ecstasy. Bliss. Joy. Happiness. Dim. Flicker. Void. Nothing. Nothing. Void. Flicker. Dim. Grows. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Magnificent. Awesome. Breathtaking. Ecstasy. Bliss. Joy. Happiness. Dim. Flicker. Void. Nothing. Nothing. Void. Flicker. Dim. Grows. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Magnificent. Awesome. Breathtaking. Ecstasy. Bliss. Joy. Happiness. Dim. Flicker. Void. Nothing. Nothing. Void. Flicker. Dim. Grows. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Magnificent. Awesome. Breathtaking. Ecstasy. Bliss. Joy. Happiness. Dim. Flicker. Void. Nothing. Nothing. Void. Flicker. Dim. Grows. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Magnificent. Awesome. Breathtaking. Ecstasy. Bliss. Joy. Happiness. Dim. Flicker. Void. Nothing. Life is a cosmic orgasm!
I have witnessed a kind of love I haven't seen for some time. He and I both knew, even after twenty-five years, we had lost her. Our dinner hour was late, but that wasn't the issue. You see, she has a drinking problem. All alcoholics are different. Some are mean, some are happy, some do crazy things and some just fall asleep wherever they are. Neither of us were embarrassed. We ate our dinner while she slept on his shoulder. We asked for a wheel-chair and saw her safely home. Never did he show anger or resentment. An amazing love.
Worlds collided in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have been a very, very, very, bad, bad, bad girl! Someone should take me over their knee and spank me. The first night in Vegas, I met a very nice man while playing blackjack. A married man. A married man from Phoenix. Can you believe it??? It was surreal. We felt a connection and agreed on a few hours of carnal knowledge on a first name only basis knowing we would never meet again. It was an extremely pleasurable experience and I don't feel guilty. Am I evil? Or am I just human?
What an awakening!!! At 2:00 am this morning, I heard the loudest and longest thunder clap I have ever heard. It crackled rhythmically for a long period of time. The decimals from the sound seemed to pierce right through my skull. Then, raindrops…glorious raindrops falling from the sky. I listened to the rain and watched the lightening flash and waited for the next thunder bolt over the course of the next hour. We finally got the rain I have been asking the Gods for over the past several weeks. The thunder and lightening was a delightful surprise! Thank you.
I couldn't have found a better group of people to work with. We are truly like one big happy family. I might have had a clue that I belonged when I walked in and saw the Koi pond in the middle of the courtyard office area. Not to mention the twin dolphins jumping in the fountain that mimic the poster of twin dolphins hanging over my desk at home. But the fact that I have a CHINESE good luck FISH hanging from my rearview mirror takes the cake. I work for an imports business and our products come from Shanghai.
The most beautiful sunflower you will ever see grew from a tiny seed. The tallest oak tree grew from a tiny sapling. So it is with peace. What if we, at our core level, the community, decided to drop our weapons…agree never to bear arms against our neighbor again. We teach our children the same. Then the police have nothing to do. The police are eliminated. Since nobody is bearing arms against anyone else, then the military would have to go. There would be no reason for them. Peace would sweep over the earth and it would become Paradise.
T.C. is the Chinese owner. Never there. Debbie is "da boss". A great one. Carolyn is the bookkeeper and a close friend of Debbie‘s. John is the national sales manager…sometimes seems gruff, but really a cream puff…calls me sweetie a lot. Tom and Anthony are sales. Tom was a body builder and Anthony is a pretty boy. Leon is our engineer…real nice. Darren is the tall, handsome, quiet comedian with a great smile. Joyce is my fellow office gal and a sweetheart. Terry, JJ and Doug work in shipping and tech services. A great gang of people.
I love the fair. I like to ride all the great rides. For eighteen years now, I've been with someone who didn't like them. Phoenix was no different. I did enjoy the food, though. I always eat a corn dog at the fair…with mustard, please. The barbeque pits lining the walkway were loaded with all types of beef and turkey legs. I had fun, but I could tell there was something up with Phoenix. He was not being affectionate, which was odd behavior on his part. My radar kicked in and I was getting a bad vibration. Stay tuned...
Her anticipation of the Fall rainy season was particularly elevated that year. "I can't wait for the first rain when it gets cold," she thought when she saw the cozy living room with the fireplace on one end and large, sliding glass windows opposite it. She had also secretly hoped she might have a beau to snuggle with during that first rain. The rain came and she had a beau. He was there during that first rain. What did he do? He sat in the recliner completely ignoring her. No snuggles. No nothing. "This isn't going to last," she thought.
I don't care that I'm not in love with him, it still hurts. I don't care that I knew he wasn't the one, it stills hurts. I don't care that I knew it wouldn't last, it still hurts. Why do men do that? Why do they act one way making you think they really, really like you. They show you affection, kiss you like there's no tomorrow, make you think there are more good times to come. Then do a complete 180 and declare the relationship is getting too serious. Can't handle it right now. Well, IT STILL HURTS, BUSTER!!!
"Well, it looks like my little romance is over." (sniffles) "I'm not surprised. You knew there was something going on." "Yeah, but I was hoping I was wrong. I wasn't in love with him, but it still hurts." "I know. Men are so fickle." "Yeah, you got that right. And they say we are!" (laugh, sniffle) "Well, now I'm glad I did what I did in Vegas." (laugh, sniffle) "Yeah, serves him right!" "But I would never tell him that. I would never do anything to hurt him out of vindictiveness or anger!" "I know that." I love my mother!!!
It rained and rained and rained and rained and rained. Then it rained some more. Then it rained again. If it rained in words it would look like this. Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. I loved it!!!
The problem I've having my whole life is that no-one has ever fallen in love with me. Or I should say, no-one I have fallen in love with has ever fallen in love with me. I guess there were some men who felt that way about me, but I didn't feel the same way in return. Even my two husbands were never in love with me. I have never experienced someone being in love with me at the same time I was in love with them. When that day happens, I'll probably cry for three weeks out of sheer joy!!!
I just want to know why? Why did you act like you really liked me and then backed off? Why did you slow down, insult, then apologize…starting up the romance up again? Why did you snuggle and cuddle and kiss and positively, passionately and aggressively instigate sex on those weekends I will never forget? Why did you introduce me to family and friends, entangle me in your life like that and then suddenly decide the "relationship" is getting too serious? Why did you tell me you cared about me one night only to ignore me to the breaking point?
Consider that I'm a feline with nine lives. If curiosity killed the cat, then my nine lives would have been over a long time ago. If I were a kitty, I would have been a pussy in paradise by now. Curiosity has always been something that I have been keenly aware of my whole life. I just have to know. That's all there is to it. I will study, search and prod until I get the answer. But, I'm not dead yet. There is one more curiosity factor that will haunt me for the rest of my life. It's you!
What the heck! I am going to check out the Yahoo personals again. You never know who you might meet. My self confidence level is pretty high despite the break-up. The manager at my local Mexican dive was trying to romance me. The tall, handsome tech at work smiles a wicked smile at me. I sense an attraction. He seems a little shy. I think he's got a girlfriend. We'll see what happens. I just can't let the grass grow under my feet and sit around feeling sorry for myself. I gotta keep moving because it makes me feel alive!
My first shipping crisis! I handled it like a pro. My trucker called to say she had been to the rail yard twice and searched both yards and she could not locate my container. Well, I sprung into action and started making phone calls. Back and forth we went. Here I was in sunny California where there was nothing I could do but sit and wait while people I had never met searched through the sea of containers in Charlotte, NC. It was a nerve-wracking but exciting moment at my new job. Finally, the container was found. All was well!
Many moons ago, I had a little conference in my head with Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat. The three of us were sitting in a room and I was saying to them that they had the chance to go into eternity as two of the most loved and revered peacemakers the likes the world had ever known. If they could commit to the idea that they were, in fact, brothers based on a history of religions and genetic make-up, they could bring their people together to share the land and bring true peace to the region and possibly, the world.
Ariel Sharon has gone against everything he ever believed. He has humbled himself before his people, his peers, the world and his God and declared…"I was wrong." It takes a great deal of courage for a leader to do that. After having implemented the plan to follow a Zionist path to take over Palestinian lands for Jewish settlements, he now sees the error of his ways. Whether he feels pressured by the violence or he realizes it's not right to build on their land, it's a remarkable thing to do. God be with him. Look what happened to Jesus.
Yasser Arafat collapsed and is said to be in serious condition. After having been confined to his compound for two years, he was allowed by the Israeli government to be flown to France for treatment. His wife has been living in France since 1991. I was struck by the overwhelming love I witnessed the Palestinians display for him. I even felt a twinge that Sharon himself felt particularly saddened by the news. I believe Arafat's heart is softening and perhaps the crisis will be a catalyst to get the Palestinians to work with Israel for peace. Wouldn't it be lovely?
I can't fucking believe it!!! Phoenix called. I know that it took a lot of courage for him. He's been afraid to call me. After my last e-mail to him, I can't blame him. He was eating crow and apologizing again. He said he never wanted to hurt me and just wanted things to slow down. The problem has been a problem of communication. He is having a difficult time adjusting to me because he's not used to being with such an understanding and reasonable woman. We're going to start seeing each other again. Maybe the third time's the charm…
What is it about you that keeps me coming back? I know I'm not going back because I'm desperate. I could have plenty of dates. I'm not lonely. What is it about you? You smoke, you snore way too loud, you talk too much, you're too hyper, you complain about everything! Why do I care? Why do I want to see you again so damn bad? Why can't you stay away from me? Huh? You don't want to get serious, huh? Face it, mister…we have got a spark that just might be a little thing called love, my friend…
It is a fucking beautiful day!!! The sun is shining, the breeze is cool and the trees are turning crimson. What a great way for God to celebrate the Day of the Dead. We should celebrate death. It is not something to fear, it is something to give thanks to and honor. You see, it is in the dying that we are living. Death is the door to life. No death…no life. It's that simple. They are one in the same and will continue forever because one can never overpower the other. God is so fucking smart! Happy Halloween!
The Tip Jar