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A Mystical Leaf of Sufi Afro Zen
As soon as I got home and laid down on the bed, there was no question in rather or not I was sleepy or tired.
A short glimpse out the sunlit window, and with the sounds of a few chattering birds, I was out into dreamland in a matter of nanoseconds.
Personally I don't recall entering any dreams, but I definitely know I was totally out of it.
You could of put hot burning coals on my stomach and chest and I wouldn't have felt a single ounce of pain.
The void and deep slumber was pervading all around me.
I have probably said it many times over by now, that the best way to communicate with people is with the eyes,
not just the vibrational word sounds coming through the breath of our lips.
The eyes can say so much that words could not necessarily tell,
is the person sincere,
or are they deceiving,
back sliding snakes.
It's also not so important as to how a person looks,
which can also be deceiving.
The big question should be is this person qualified to do what they say they can
beyond the well rehearsed mannerisms.
Can't post my 100 words entries for some reason.
September isn't even an option to click for the next batch to start.
Looks like I need to send an e-mail to the technical department.
After working the night shift I go straight to Starbucks,
with my newly purchased laptop
which will be used for my very own part time writing career.
Look forward to my bestseller soon.
Anyways.....I must of spent over five hours in the coffeeshop
and I remember clearly the blonde bartista with her broom looking at me like
"how dare you stay here for so long!"
"What brought me out into this night?" I ask myself as I sit at the coffeeshop past midnight.
I can remember a night similiar to this, years ago,
except it was right after Ramadhan had ended
and I had spent my celebrations with my Muslim friends from Senegal
and a white couple that didn't belong,
asking me way too many questions,
about my personal life.
Away from it all, and ordering coffee to endure the remainder of the night, I later found myself in the mountains among the beautiful stars with my family far away, just like now.
While waiting for bus number 40 to take me in a southernly directon, two loud explosions occurred next to the mortuary where they turn your bodily remains into ashes.
The explosions turned out to be a transformer gone awry.
Once I get on the newly built train I manage to read Newsweek magazine about Suicide Bombers and Global Warming which is claimed to be a hoax by a group of scientists and sponsors
who are more concerned about making profits at the expense
of the demise of our planet
and everyone on it.
How much global warming proof is needed?
What does it mean to be alive and truly alive?
It means being aware that you will not be here forever,
and that now is the only life you have.
Being truly alive means being aware of the now and nothing else but what's happening now.
From a political and environmentalist standpoint,
we should know about every aspect of our government
that is supposed to be leading
and running the country
in which we live in.
Even ordinary people should know these things, as well as the environmental issues that are detrimental to the planet we live on each day.
I'm reading this book that caught my eye entitled Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
I was reading the part about female circumcision, said to be an Islamic practice, and almost threw up as I read about the procedures, and the pain, and the agony that's involved.
I can tell you first hand that female circumcision is not an Islamic practice nor ordained,
yet it's done in various Islamic countries.
Only men are ordained to be circumcised according to the words of Allah in the Holy Quran Sharieff.
I'm sorry to say that cutting a womans clitoris doesn't make her pure.
I do mostly all of my grocery shopping at health food stores, even though the vegetables and fruits can be sometimes slightly expensive.
I don't know if it is me or a figment of my imagination, but why does it seem that most women I see shopping here always seem to be horny,
like rabbits in heat,
willing to do anything at the drop of a carrot stick
or a head of lettuce.
Or is something in my organic milk or freshly squeezed orange juice?
Don't get me wrong.
I think that health and sex are an ecxcellent libido combination.
The weather matches my mood.
and leaves blowing in the wind.
Fall is definitely approaching.
Long gone are the days of summer,
my favorite season of the year.
Now I understand why I left Colorado to begin with. Now it's like reliving the nightmare.
I should of stayed in South East Asia,
where the weather is more tropical
and warm all year round.
My dreams seem to have dissipated
into the thin mountainous air here.
I have become the dream
and the dreamer,
trapped within dreams
trying to open
with much difficulty.
I enjoy watching children play
and listening to things that they say to each other,
like the two boys that I overheard,
talking about the type of powers that they had.
Not just ordinary powers,
but special powers.
I recall when I used to think like that too, when I was a little boy and wonder what in Earth ever happened to those thoughts.
At what point did I stop believing that I had special powers or simply began to stuff them down deep into my subconscious and superconscious mind.
What kind of people would desire us to be powerless?
Once itís confirmed that she is pregnant,
you have a good nine months to make all, or most preparations.
Time to get the baby carrier, the crib, pacifiers, baby bottles, strollers, toys, clothes, food, putting money to the side for diapers, and so on.
I read about some psychologist who states that a childís environment is conducive to his development, so that if he is in an loving environment he will be loving, and if he is in a violent environment he will grow up to be violent.
This is not necessarily true, because there are cases that prove otherwise.
If money is 75% of our problems, shouldnít money be the main focus of education in the school systems?
As rich are our resources on Earth, there should not be a reason for poverty or starvation anywhere.
ďWhat am I doing with my time,Ē I ask, ďon a day to day basis.Ē
I only have a few short answers, so Iíve started doing little time jot downs of what I did for the day.
Such as leaving the house,
at the bus stop,
on the train,
arrived to work,
reading this book,
brushing my teeth,
getting to involved.
Today marks the first day of Ramadhan. Iím ready for the fasting period again, trying to focus all my energy on Rabbil Alamin.
The sighting of the new moon on the night of the 12th September is what was supposed to mark the beginning of Ramadhan. Strangely the moon couldnít be seen anywhere in the United Snakes.
I told a Muslim friend about this and she said, ďmaybe the moon doesnít like the US.Ē
I laughed and she said, ďthis is so, because of George Bush.Ē I found this even more funnier by making myself believe it was really true.
Since I have been keeping a time journal as to what I do by the hour, Iím a bit disappointed in myself as I realize how disorganized I am, and the fact that I really donít have a system in my life.
I realize that the macrocosmic aspects of life would not be able to function without a system or some order.
Could you imagine Earth crashing into Mars or the Sun deciding not to stay near the center of our solar system?
Even in our society, despite the corruption, if we didnít have a system there would be chaos.
I finished reading the book titled Infidel by the infidel herself named Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She denounces her religion and slanders it, then has the audacity to say that she wants to help people in the religion she denounced.
Once she arrived in Holland from Somalia she became white washed in my opinion, by comparing Hollandís society with her own, which built up her many personal dissatisfactions.
I think her problems began when the Imam fractured her skull against the hard wall for being disobedient.
I think something psychologically wrong happened to her from the fracture until this very day.
22:40 I found a brand new Rolling Stone magazine that was about to be thrown into the trashcan. I never read a Rolling Stone magazine before, and it looks like they have a good article on LSD.
22:49 Iím trying to be aware of the present moment as I watch my mind expecting something.
Some presumed mystical state beside the actual states of being Iím experiencing which are also just as mystical as any other experience.
23:16 I must admit that the physical aspects of fasting have been quite easy for me, itís the carnal that is really testing me.
I read about the slaughter of mountain gorillas in Central Africa, and how more and more animals are on the brink of extinction.
Most animals are being killed for profit.
It's sad when barbarians kill animals, only to leave them to rot on the ground, or to kill an animal for its tusk.
What should be the penalty for such atrocities?
When the tribal people kill an animal they donít waste one part of the animal.
Everything is used.
It amazes me when people find themselves attacked by elephants, lions and mountain lions, and wonder why they were attacked.
After a careful analysis, I have come to the conclusion that all librarians are either mean and inconsiderate or plain crazy.
Crazy in the sense of coming straight out of a loony bin.
I figured that most librarians were mean because they offered the public free services, while we paid absolutely nothing.
In addition to the theory, they were probably PhD graduates, who were underpaid, and couldnít find a better job than being cruel to others.
I figured that the psychotic librarians were librarians selected from mental hospitals said to be stable, due to being short on the needed staff.
I donít know what it was about today, but I felt disturbed.
Something in my heart was troubling me and I could not think of anything or find anything to pinpoint.
I began wondering if all of my family members were okay or not.
Was it my own subconscious problems real or imagined?
Was it because I was fasting?
Was it the dream I had where I was somewhere far away and I said I would never come back here again?
Was it because of my dissatisfactions of living in an evil and wicked society?
Everywhere I look is madness.
It was as though she came out of nowhere,
as I never saw where she came from.
She must of came from one of the Native American Indian creative myth stories,
except her story was real and she didnít understand this new term called Native American Indian.
She was from some tribe,
which could have been Lakota.
When her eyes met mine,
she told me a story in just those few seconds,
and we both remembered something,
but didnít know what.
I watched her walk away,
as her hair brushed the clouds,
and the blue sky,
gently with the breeze.
It is said that we need at least 8 hours of sleep per day to be healthy individuals while some people thrive off of only 4 hours of sleep and some who are more advanced, only 2 hours of sleep.
It is said that one hour of meditation is equivalent to so many hours of sleep.
Could we just go into deep states of meditation and get the rest we need without sleep?
What is the exact purpose of sleep?
To rest our bodies and rejuvenate?
Do we really know?
It is known that animals also sleep.
Why is this?
I was at Starbucks early in the morning, mainly to work on my writing since I could not drink or eat anything due to fasting.
A French song was playing and she was saying ďsmile, even when you are in pain, smile in sorrow, smile when the clouds and skies are greyĒ
Basically she was saying that being sad and depressed was a waste of time.
This was equivalent to the saying smile now cry later.
I could not help but to think about Heckyll and Jeckyll; one person having two different personalities.
We can be like this at times.
It was funny to see adults pretending to be adults.
The scene almost seemed surreal,
but here I was witnessing adults playing their little parts to fit into their little societal niches
of acceptance and approval.
I realized why I donít have many friends.
I refuse to fit in,
and since I donít try to fit in,
Iím looked at like the odd ball
or the bad apple in the bunch.
All my attempts of trying to fit in only leave me feeling empty
as though I have deceived myself.
I want to be true to myself at all costs.
I think about how the various scriptures of various religions talk about how we should do good things in life versus the bad ones,
because the consequences for our bad deeds will lead to punishment and hell fire,
while our good deeds would be rewarded by being allowed to enter heaven.
I began to wonder how many of us would be willing to do good deeds in life regardless if we were rewarded or not.
A person like this has good and righteousness embedded in his heart.
A seeker of no rewards, but to live only according to his nature.
In Islam, one of the most things hated by Allah is divorce.
The reason being, that divorce destroys families, and families are the basic unit of any society.
A torn family, a torn nation.
Children suffer the most, because their main love is for their mother, and their father being together.
Why do you think children scream when they see their mother and their father arguing or even fighting. When the separation comes,
something within the child separates as well,
and stays with them for life.
My parents divorced when I was 5 years old
and I never understood why.
Itís a full moon tonight, I wonder what will become of it.
Poverty is all around the world in every corner of the globe,
where people are hungry,
clothing, and shelter,
while at the same time
our open enemy continues to rob us of our cultures,
sucking our Mother Earth dry,
exploiting and commercializing greed,
keeping us under the influence of their drugs,
and unjust imprisonment,
flaunting their wealth in our presence,
Some of us love their lies and believe them,
in our deep slumber of deception,
but for how long?
I canít believe that my roommate threw my collection of avocado seeds away into the trashcan.
He did not even bother to ask if I was keeping them or not.
Because I aspire to keep seeds for future growth,
start a compost out of the unused parts of food;
(such as banana peels, avocado peels, and vegetable scraps)
desire to recycle,
versus throwing everything away
I am seen as an oddball,
because maybe Iím a bit more conscious of the planet
that I live on,
because I care about Earth and creation
the way I care about my beloved mother.
Birds that flock together stick together isnít always true.
In fact, Iím beginning to learn that many so called proverbs of wisdom can't be taken at face value.
Maybe the bird does not want to flock together anymore and is seeking a way out.
Maybe what the other birds are doing is not to his liking anymore and never really was.
While speaking about birds, I am relating what I am saying to so called human beings.
In some cases, especially in our so called modern golden age, human beings are not even human anymore.
Some animals seem more intelligent.
ďNay, We hurl the Truth against falsehood so it knocks out its brains and lo! It vanishes. And woe to you for what you describe.Ē
This particular verse comes from Surah 21 entitled The Prophets verse 18. Before this verse, such as verse 16 reads:
ďAnd we created not the heaven and the earth and what is between them for sport.
I take this to mean that every act of creation has a definite purpose.
For the most part, plants, animals, planets, and stars do what they were created to do.
It seems that man is the only open contender.
I can still remember when I was a little boy and how I thought, that if I had the toy that was advertised, Iíd be so happy.
Once I got the toy, I was happy, but it was a limited happiness, because there was always a new and improved toy.
Now that I am older, those toys have collected dust and buried themselves in the deep recesses of my sweet memories.
Not much has changed.
As adults, our toys get bigger and figmented.
A new career, a degree, a car, a big house, a big bomb;
another limited happiness projectÖ.
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