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Where have my scruples gone lately? Who knows. Sometimes I think I'm acting the way May should act because everyone sees me a goody-two-shoes. Anyways, I've been doing these gosh, awful things to my suite mate. I hate her and I've shared why I hate her to people I know and even to those I don't know so well. My mom told me in Cantonese to kill her with kindness. I will do exactly that with my definition of kindness. For every little thing she does, I will justify it with an act of my own. My own subtle actions.
I am going to go to Chicago during my winter vacation to check out a school I want to transfer to next fall. My mom told me that her friend told her that in the winter, the weather is really cold there, and she wants me to consider that factor. I applied to two other UC's, but I am not sure about them. I actually just want to leave California. When there is an available single room, I'm going to move out. I want to get a guinea pig if I move and name him or her Pancakes or Chiquita.
This whole day I have been doing nothing but reading The Prince. It reminds me of so many things I am doing to my suite mate. How quickly the day passes. The sun is already going down. My roommate slept through half the day. Her life must be exciting as hell. Not so much. I can't wait to get a guinea pig, so it can run around the living room if I get a single room. My mom is thinking of getting me a car, hopefully that Nissan Coupe. That would mean I need a job. Winter is coming up.
I actually almost forgot about today's entry. Blame it on Daylight Saving Time ending. I actually don't need the extra hour of sleep. My roommate and I went to the mall today to go eat. I actually apologized to Ryan yesterday. You must be thinking, "What?!" Who says sorry to a guy who took her for granted?! Well...I've given to some thought and people don't change and by ignoring them, they won't change even if they say they will change. And plus, I'm transferring anyways, so why leave an institution with people wondering why I've avoided them...Good night.
Remember that whole scruples entry? I think people hold me in that light, like I'm situated on top of this pedestal and if I mess up, I'm subject to scrutiny from my mom or in this case from my friends. Today was my friend's birthday. She invited people to go to her place. I went. She drank alcohol. I drank a funky tasting smoothie and a friend of mine doesn't believe me that I didn't drink intentionally. What if there was alcohol in it? Anyways, I'm so tired of people seeing me in that light. I'm not going to rebel.
Midterms. What a lovely period for midterms. Fortunately, I'm not one of those students who have rounds of midterms. I see people having a midterm a week before finals. Crazy. And midterms compared to tests are not bundled up on one day, like in high school. Best of all! Once the midterm is over, no homework and you get to leave class early and the TA's don't have to look at you in awkward silences reflected with blank stares of confusion. That's enough about my rant on why midterms are awesome. There might be hope in me moving out. Yay!
I'm finally moving out. I'm going to miss Bonnie. She seemed sad that I was moving without her, but she should have backed me up when I complained to the resident assistant about my suite mate, so we could have both moved out together. And plus it's time for Bonnie to meet new people. I think Bonnie just wanted to stick with me because she had no one else. I had my African American Studies midterm tonight. It wasn't too hard. I didn't think too much about it. I just did the study guide, but um...didn't study. Good night
I finally remember my password without having to open my email to see what it is. =) I'm finally moving out tomorrow. It'll be a long day. I'm going to wake up early and get my keys and start taking apart my bed frame. Tonight I'm taking apart my desk into smaller sections so I can carry it all to my new room. I have to reassemble everything all by myself again. The sadness of it all. I have so many things going on this weekend/next week. English essay. Japanese homework. History test & essay. College fair. Better sleep on this.
Iím finally moved in! My arms and legs are so sore. You should see the bathroom. It smells fruity. How many of you guys can say that? Iím thankful for the people, who made a detour out of their lives, to help me out, like muchacho Steven, who woke up early to help me move my mattress and desk and Connie, who came before her class to help me move the rest of my stuff. I was sore going to class. I made so many trips back and forth from my old place and new place. Iím going to sleep.
Iím sore. Thatís all I can talk about yesterday and today. Soreness from my calves. Soreness from my shoulders. Soreness from my arms. I ran into this guy I knew in middle school yesterday. He still looks the same. UC applications are due this month. I like writing the personal statements. No sarcasm. When I look back at how I wrote my personal statements before freshman year, I think of the mistakes I madeÖthinking I should have changed some things. I wrote something new this time. Even if I donít get accepted, the personal statements helped me reflect a lot.
I decided to stay at home one more day. I was going to go back to my apartment tonight, but I decided not to due to the lack of activities happening without my internet and television. No internet and television make me go crazy. I am currently writing a paper about the film,
Breakfast at Tiffanyís
(my choice), but before I wrote more than the title, I decided to write in this daily blog because once I get going, Iím hard at work. Hopefully, I get 2 pages done tonight and 2 pages tomorrow before I head back to school.
Iíll make this quick because Iím heading back to my apartment around 9ish, hopefully 10 because I donít want to miss
. Iíve said this so many times that I want to be a magazine writer. I say it so many times that I think if I say it enough itíll certainly come true in the future. I know becoming a magazine writer will not be easy. I need to go to Chicago for this because thereís a program. I know Iíll come home only twice a school year excluding summer vacation. I am willing to sacrifice everything.
I almost forgot about writing on this thingÖagain, especially since I donít have internet until tomorrow morning. Iím so glad next week is Thanksgiving already. I need a longer break than Veteransí Day. I went to the Rotaract meeting tonight. I feel so uninvolved in the club all of a sudden. I should be more active, yet I canít go to some of the events because I donít have a car and I hate asking people for rides, even if they donít really mind. Hopefully, that will change at the end of this month. This week is the college fair.
My professor is a minister. Who knew. He cusses "within the context." What kind of church did he work at...Haha. I just came back from class and I am extremely tired. I know that I'm going to be more tired this weekend when I have to wake up at 6:30 to help out at this college fair. It's considered "volunteering," but my professor is counting this toward our grade, so I'm not sure how is that volunteering. Anyways, my Internet is back. I still need television. Even though I have one class tomorrow, I have so much to do tonight.
I'm going out tonight to eat. I want to cook, but my friend's paying. Today was such a long day. I'm looking forward to this weekend by studying for Japanese. I know. That's exciting. My friend and I signed up for campus tours this weekend at the college fair to imbue high school students with our knowledge of this fine campus of ours. Haha. Too cheesy? I need Microsoft Word! Ahh! I still have a lot to do with college applications. I need to get a letter of recommendation. Go to my high school and get a transcript sent there.
to page 100
- read half of
The Autobiography of Nicholas Said
- read history chapter 28
- do pages 31 and 32 from Japanese workbook
- write about daily routine (10 sentences) in Japanese Kanji using model from page 265 Tomorrow is the college fair. I hope I do well representing the college and answering questions. I really need a television and a xBox or Wii. I'm so bored. I need something to occupy my time aside from television and with the writers' strike, most of my favorite shows will halt production when next year rolls around. I'm craving spaghetti. Need to shower.
College fair today was interesting. I was sleepy, but I took a nap when I came back. This high school student asked me to look at her college transcript. Even students from other booths came to ask me questions. There is this guy I like. He looks like the Asian version of Wentworth Miller, but my friend says supposedly that the guy I like looks buffer. I think they look alike, but another friend told me I was being too generous by calling him the Asian version of Wentworth Miller. He didn't see the photo. He wouldn't know. Good night.
I need to enroll in classes on Wednesday morning. I'm not sure what to take this coming quarter. I'm already considering a comparative literature and political science. Should I take Japanese 2? I'm struggling already. I think I'm taking math. I need to take the placement exam in December. Hopefully, during make-up enrollment, I can enroll in a math course. I can't believe I just said that. Ew. And here I thought I would never pick up a math book ever again, unless it meant throwing it out the window or burning it. I have yet to get a job. Bye!
I have a Japanese test tomorrow and a Japanese quiz on Wednesday. The professor should have put off the Japanese quiz until Tuesday. If we have a test tomorrow, she'll have the results back on Wednesday. The results will ruin my Thanksgiving break. I think she wants to slowly kill us before the break because I know she's assigning homework for us to do during break. Hmm...should I take Japanese 2 next quarter? By the way, the 2008 Nissan Coupe looks pulchritudinous...in blue. If that car is mine, I'll love it forever. I'll care for it like it's a jewel.
I am studying hard tonight for my Japanese quiz after I finish reading the assigned pages for
. I shouldn't have went to my friend's house to see her puppy and instead continue my reading. My television somewhat works on my computer now. It just doesn't have sound from the television. I have sound overall from my computer just not when I'm watching television, and it isn't on mute. Maybe I should take up the hobby of reading lips. I know I didn't fail my Japanese chapter test today. I know I did well enough to pass it. Happy studying!
Iím thankful thereís Thanksgiving break. I slept at 3 a.m. I hate that I sacrificed my sleep. I told myself once I got to college, I would at least get 8 hours of sleep on school days. Anyways, on the way back home, my mom nagged me to death about taking math, even though Iíve had the math issue on my mind for awhile. She yelled at me about how my major sucks as usual, and I yelled back at her. She thought I was going to keep quiet, but seriously this is like a cycle of the same arguments.
I went to look at cars with my mom. I had dim sum with my mom and I think I saw Celina leaving the restaurant. Iím not too sure. Thanksgiving was mellow. My mom bought lobster and cooked it for dinner. It was scrumptious. My mom is pet sitting this dog from an affluent family. His name is Snowball and he sheds. Heís losing hair near his ears. My mom gave him a bath and blew dry him. Heís such a spoiled dog. Heís like a garbage disposal or shall I say vacuum cleaner. He ate three hot dog buns.
While making errands with my mom, Winnie gave me a call asking if I still wanted the puppy. Yes, I still want one, but sadly, my mom doesnít want one. [Sigh] My mom sucks. Sheís a liar. She has told so many lies. If I had a nickel for how many lies she has told, I would be a millionaire and I would buy myself a dog. Hmpf. Raymond thinks my mom has problems and that sheís bipolar. I have to agree with him on that one. My momís been yelling at me and I havenít said a word. Bye.
Itís almost the end of November. Thank goodness. Iím taking a break next month in writing this daily blog. Iím so conflicted in whether I should go to Chicago or not. At first, I was positive that I would be willing to do anything for my future career, but to isolate myself in the windy cityÖis it worth it? I donít know. People always say, ďI want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?Ē In response, I say yes, because you have to pursue happiness to acquire it in my experience. Iím craving spicy chicken wings. Good night.
I love this song. It is a really old song. I keep replaying it over and over again.
Go on and close the curtains cause all we need is candle light You and me and a bottle of wine going to hold you tonight Well we know I'm going away and how I wish, I wish it weren't so So take this wine and drink with me let's delay our misery
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone
There's a log on the fire and it burns like me for you
This is the best Monday I've had so far. I saw the guy I liked twice. I found out I got a B+ on my Japanese test. I saw the guy who I used to like ride a bicycle with a basket. I thought that was a bit fruity. My tongue hurts. I have to go to my old high school to get a transcript sent to my transfer school. I don't have time until next month. This process is taking longer than I thought. The college process always takes long. I have a lot of reading to do. Eh.
I went back to Los Angeles for a little bit. I ate some Vietnamese food take-out. I beat traffic and came back to Riverside. I went out with Steven to go eat. And now I have to study for my Japanese quiz. Ah! Itís on Tuesday. My math placement test is this Saturday at 8 a.m. I donít want to wake up early on a Saturday. My face has been dry lately probably because of winter coming. I need a new moisturizer. I just realized how much colder at night is in Riverside than at home. A Shot a LoveÖ
Last night when I was going back to Riverside, my mom said something about me that I'm proud of...and that is I don't hold grudges against people, like a lot of girls. I mean why waste my thoughts on you if I have more important things to think of, like my school work and my career goals. Anyways, my point is that I easily let things go and forgive people, but the thing is I rather forget you in the end. That makes sense, right? Interesting lecture in Dr. Walker's class. I never laughed that much for a class.
So funny that both Steven and Robert talked to me about Abla today. All Steven wants to do is avoid her. All Robert wants to do is cheer her up. I am just...indifferent, because if she doesn't eventually come around, so be it. I should use fake names, huh? But then that would take the authenticity out of my entry. I want next week to be over already. I want the week after that to be over already, too. I want to go home and drive my car, Benjamin. I want this quarter to be over. Grades! Buh bye.
I went to the university's library for the first time. I know, shocking...Me? You would think I would be one of those people, who live in the library, but no, I've kept a distance from the library not on purpose, but because I've managed to avoid it. Anyways, this brings me to the point of when I was younger, I had this nightmare of being in a college library and the lights start dimming, while I'm on the top floor and I hear some weird sounds and the next thing I know, I'm freaking out crazily....To be continued...
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