REPORT A PROBLEM
Hung over again. Can you sense a pattern here? I should just start smoking weed like a chronic. It doesn’t give you a hangover, cheaper, probably good for you and it would help bring me back to being a svelte young man. Maybe not that last one but let a guy hope would you! I would miss the taste of beer to be honest. There is nothing better than the taste of an ice cold snakebite on a hot day. I think I want one right now! We should have ‘em at work, we have everything else, why not beer?
I am finally putting up my own website. A friend and I used to draw comic books in high school. Well, he drew them, I wrote them. I often feel like Banky in 'Chasing Amy'. Anyway, I won’t outright plug it here but it involves an angry face. We decided that we missed doing that and we should again. The web makes shit like that so much easier! The only problem now is that I have to learn how to build a website. I just hope some people get to see our stuff and like it. Watch out Stan Lee.
I am debating what my next tattoo should be. I am kinda leaning towards a ring of fire around my shin. I really wanted one on my left forearm but I have one on my right forearm and feel like putting one somewhere different. Just do me a favour, this goes to anyone reading this, if you see me getting a tazmanian devil or some stupid shit like that, shoot me. I don’t understand tattoos like that. How cool are you gonna feel at 50 with a tattoo that means absolutely nothing to you? Just don’t be that guy! (Durst)
I deal with a lot of New Yorkers in my job. I buy “new media” among other things. The majority of the sites I buy space on are based in New York. Not to sound rude but are all New Yorkers so friggin pushy? If I tell a guy I will think about his offer, don’t call me the next day, TWICE! Gimmie a few days to mull over your idea. It only seems to be NY’ers who are this pushy. People elswhere aren’t this pushy. Then again if my NHL team was the Ranger I would be miserable too..
Man, I just read yesterdays submission (I know I am not supposed to, but I didn’t change anything) I bash New Yorkers again!!! Time for some big apple dwellers to come to Toronto and get some ammo to bash my city. New York looks so cool in movies that I shouldn’t bash it. Hell it even has a really cool Irish section (I was 15 when I was there, could have changed). I am making a mental note to start bashing another place, Salt Lake City? Nah, haven’t been there. How about I just stop bashing cities!! HMMM, too boring.
Free stuff rocks. I just got 9 free Playstation 2 games. I don’t even own a PS2. One of the guys I deal with through work (yup, a New Yorker, see you all aren’t that bad) asked if I would like them and simply because they were free I jumped on them. I am not sure if that is a negative trait or not. You would think that would make people assume I am cheap. I think it makes me pack rat. And hey if anyone ever needs anything chances are I have one they can borrow! Anyone need anything?
I have another week of holidays coming up and I can’t wait. This year we decided to not go away at all, just relax. Actually we will be dog-sitting my inlaws Labrador. He is a cool dog, a friggin spaz, but cool nonetheless. The weird thing is, although I will be 5 mins from my apartment, I need someone to come feed my cats. Strange how we offer to dog sit then need to find a catsitter! Can ya tell Marlo really misses having a dog? The best part is my father in law loves imported, tasty beer! Thanks Pop!
Weekdays need to go away. Not that I am Mister party animal, I’m sorry miss Jackson, sorry its on tv, I hate weekdays. Weekdays suck. The world is bitter and in a rush every weekday. I want to get a big sign that says ‘Slow the Fuck Down’. Where the hell are people going that it warrants going nine thousand miles an hour with reckless abandon??? Walking, driving or whatever, get a grip!!! FUCK, if one more commuter races me to a train that is standing still I will pop. Same goes for stop lights, we get there together Andretti!
I look up at my calendar in my computer room at home to look at the date and see Kurt Angle of the WWF looking at me. He is Mr. August. I instantly feel disgust for myself. How could a seemingly intellectual, normal guy have a wrestling calendar in his room? Well, this may be a first but I enjoy wrestling. If women can have soaps we can have wrestling. There I go again, I think I will invent a character for that angry face project called Mr. Justification. As long as Ben stiller is overlooked the movie will rock!
Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday¸ Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday¸ Friday. Haven’t been looking forward to Friday lately. Except this one.
What a good Friday that was. Why you ask? Because I did absolutely nothing!! I had my first doing nothing Friday in ages. Those are the weekends I treasure. Where I can do fuck all. Sit at home and do nothing but relax, drink a few beers, glass of wine, my wife and a movie. When I was 19 I put these activities down, now, I long for them. I try to tell buddies who are near marriage how it is and they refuse to admit that it will change them. They will realize one day how cool companionship is.
This is getting really diffifult to keep up with. I do enjoy it, but it is getting harder and harder to get my shit in order. I find myself trying to remember where the hell I put all my handwritten entries and then of course I haven't dated the fucking things! I think I got ‘em all in the right order. Combine that with my @home internet service which is never 100% and I am lucky to get the entries posted on time!!! Like August for instance, I am still trying to get them up and today is September 4!!!
I love Tangerine Wavelength Fruitopia. It has to be the best new soft drink in years. Why didn't they bring this out earlier? I can't stop drinking it. It is gonna put me in the poor house! I don't know about the states but here in Canada it costs anywhere from $1.50 to 2 for a can! I am beginning to get addicted to it. I even keep a can at my desk in case the world runs out!! If the store near work had Fresca and Brio along with the Tangerine Fruitopia I would be a poor, poor bastard!!
So I am actually considering buying a second car. I don't really need it but it sucks when Mar wants to go out and I have the car. Or if I want to go out, leave work early or whatever but can't because I am carless. I really have been holding off on buying one though. I hate having too much responsibility. I am far too childish of a 29 year old for that. Work and marriage are pretty much sapping me of all my responsibility. That and the fact that I love beer so I would surely get busted.
The fucking sun is blazing right into my eyes. Why won't this company buy some proper blinds for the skylights? Sure they make the room a little brighter but I can't see my computer screen. It is not fun! And taping up big pieces of paper to it doesn't help!!! MacGyver these people are not!! Fucking Internet cash cow and they can't afford blinds!!! Direct sunlight and hangovers do not mix well. I am going for a smoke. Now smokes seem to help hangovers. I wonder why that is? The best thing is an ice cold can of Irn Bru!
Everyone in the world should be forced to read at least one Irvine Welsh novel. Sure everyone knows about Trainspotting because of the movie but if you read the book you would be amazed. Like most movies, the book is better. If you can get past the way he writes the Scottish accent you will not be let down. It's nice to come across a writer who writes about people like you and me. Characters who you can actually relate to. I cannot relate to lawyer who takes on big business, can you? Average people I understand. Truer to life.
Why do some cd-r's burn well and others don't? I know there is different grades od cd's but I always buy what I think are good ones. TDK, Maxell, types like that and it never fails that one or two fails and I make new coasters. I know it isn't my hardware because it happens for a buddy too. How am I supposed to make cd's of my favorite music??? God forbid I actually have to pay for it!!!! Its not that I don't wanna pay the artist, I don't wanna pay the snotty fuck behind the counter at Tower!!
I thought having a website would be tedious and hard work. Well it is hard work but it is anything but tedious. I actually enjoy updating and working on the layout. Its nice to see your work up on the web. Sorta like the 100 words thing only more personal. And the best thing is that are no rules. Free reign over the whole thing!! I believe the web is going back to what it was and what it should be. Free press for the public. At least I hope it is going that route. I am sick of ads.
I said in yesterdays words that I am sick of ads and came to a realization. I work for a web company buying ad space on the internet. I guess that makes me part of the problem. Damn I hate when that happens. I guess I need to find a new gig. Maybe I will drive a city bus. Those guys get paid ok. Or I could be a stay at home dad. But that would involve having kids and I don't really want any kids. I wish the so called dot com bust would really happen. Layoffs for me!
SO TELL ME, WHEN YOU TOOK THE PRACTICE SCHOLASTIC APTITUDE TEST
DID YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS OR DID YOU JUST GUESS?
YOU RELY ON GIMMICKS TO AMUSE YOUR FANS
AND ACT ALL URBAN TO JACK-UP YOUR SOUND-SCAN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? HOW COME YOU RHYME MONOSYLLABICALLY?
IS ATROPHY SHRINKING YOUR ENTIRE VOCABULARY?
YOUR STYLE'S LIKE GARBAGE CANS MEANT TO BE TAKEN OUT ON A WEEKLY BASIS.
EVER SINCE YOUR FIRST RECORD YOU'VE BEEN IN A STATE OF SUSPENDED ANIMATION.
YOU LOOK LIKE SNUFFALUFFAGUS AND AUSTRALOPITHECUS. ME CRAY, YOU ABACUS.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, LET'S TALK ABOUT ME
Cold pizza, beer, cigarettes, cats, dvds, satellite, jetta, interenet, angryface, 100 words, work, sleep, bored, sex, drive, dragon-boat, foam pig, foam nose, ron jeremy, sharpie, alice in chains, ikea, hack, pos it notes, voice mail, waiting, rain, cne, sportsnet, dceg, wedding, stag, golf, hang over, harman kardon, animation, business cards, cell phone, receptionist, ralph, tim hortons, lost, lcbo, cider, utiity, java, asp, hurry up, win amp, fax, rolling stones, Fruitopia, keyboard, monitor, cd's, mouse, ugly mousepad, fuck, brisk, another round, esplenade, three judges, bank machine, rent, zyban, deadlines, make it happen, commit, decision, doom, matthew, Panasonic, pre-purchase, email, load, love.
I was a huge napster geek. Now that it is gone I have been using a few others but none really are as good as napster was. If I look for an mp3, I don't want to get 900 porn videos using the same name as the song! I found swapnut!! A really cool file sharing tool that separates the file types so if you search for an mp3 it will only return mp3's!!! Now many of you are probably aware of other options or knew about them sooner, well I didn't so don't bother bragging about it net boy!!
If any of you get to Toronto in the next few weeks, you have to go to the Canadian National Exhibition (CNE). Not for the rides, which are frighteningly assembled by some weird dude's each year, but for the Tiny Tom Donuts. They make these little donuts right in front of you that are awesome! You can get ‘em in 4 flavours and they come nice and hot. For only $3 cdn (that's about 8 cents US) you get a dozen. Oh yeah, and it will give all you New Yorkers a chance to bash my city for a change!
I wish Labour Day would come already. I am tired. This Labour day I get to absolutely nothing! I think I will lay on the couch, drink beer and watch movies the whole time. Those of you that are male and married know the chances of achieving this are very slim. I love being married but let me have a lazy weekend every once in a while. Where does she get all this energy?? You would think that after working all week my wife would be tired and just want to relax! No such luck. Wonder where we will go?
Today is my bosses wedding. I am looking forward to getting hammered and eating like a king at his expense. The only shitty thing is that a DJ service I run is doing his wedding so I have to be aware of how the DJ does. I don't babysit very well when I am imbibing. The reception is at an Italian place just up north a bit so I expect wanna be mob guys to be everywhere. That will be half the fun I think! Watching guys pretend to be connected is funny. Unless they are, then I am fucked!
Hung over AGAIN. The wedding was good. Lotsa booze and good food. It ended pretty early so we packed up and went to the bar I work at sometimes. The place was empty. Quarter to one on a Saturday night and it was empty. Pathetic. To top it off, the owners son manages there and he is a complete tit.! I was the only paying customer in the whole bar and I was joking with Tony, he was joking back. Next thing I know he cuts me off!! He didn't even have the courage to do it himself. Unfunny bastard.
It is Monday and for the first time in a long time I wondered why I don't go to church! I used to go when my mom made me and then even for a short time when I was in high school and didn't have to. I just stopped going. I think it may be because religion fascinates me and I read all I can about all religions. The knowledge I gain in all of them may cause a bit of disbelief in all of them. I guess my skepticism is born from reading. So kids, reading is bad! Ha
I just watched ‘The Tao of Steve' again, I love that flick. The idea that a fat broke guy can do so well with the opposite sex rocks. It gives hope to all of us. Granted he treats women like shit until the typical ‘turning point' in his life but hey, that's Hollywood. But the one thing that bugs me is how a couple poor guys can afford a rocking house like that! The rest of the mainstream entertainment industry is like that too. Like the annoying freaks on Friends could afford those apartments in New York! Keep it real!!!
I ditched Dragon Boat practice again today. I am just tired and after we won the summer race league I get the feeling that a lot of team members feel like practicing is useless with only two events left. We are wrong but hey, let us bask on the glory of winning for a while! It was sweet beating the top ranked team for the gold and we had a side bet for 6 pitchers of beer! I am vowing to go to next weeks practice!! It is the last one of the year after all, gotta look somewhat interested
I just came across memepool.com, a guy here at work turned me on to it. That is a cool idea. Having someone normal promote sites he finds interesting is a great idea. I could care less who paid yahoo the most to be placed in the search engine. At least with memepool.com you just check out what he links to. 50% of the time it is something decent. For the web today that is a pretty good percentage. Sure I want to see cool stuff but let me see it on my terms, don't spam the fuck out of me!
Well it's the end of the month and I made it. Barely. I had to write one post that I lost. You will know which when you read them. I even almost gave up cuz I couldn't find half my posts but our fearless webmaster Koyen gave me inspiration. Well, he told I had till the end of the 5th and I figured I better get off my ass and find the words! I personally think is my worst month of postings but what the hell, I committed to it. I will hope to have a more creative month in September
The Tip Jar