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09/01 Direct Link
Hung over again. Can you sense a pattern here? I should just start smoking weed like a chronic. It doesn’t give you a hangover, cheaper, probably good for you and it would help bring me back to being a svelte young man. Maybe not that last one but let a guy hope would you! I would miss the taste of beer to be honest. There is nothing better than the taste of an ice cold snakebite on a hot day. I think I want one right now! We should have ‘em at work, we have everything else, why not beer?
09/02 Direct Link
Ahh Sunday. I love lazy Sundays. I am gonna keep lying around after I enter this and just play with my cats. For some reason the cats really want to play a lot on Sundays. I don’t mind because I can dedicate a lot of time to them on Sundays. All week I work and come home and give them about 15 minutes attention and that’s it. Sundays is a free for all, if I’m not dragon boating. I want to get a dog again. I go through spurts where I want one and don’t. Marlo would LOVE a pooch.
09/03 Direct Link
High school seemed like such a blur, I didn't have much interest in sports or School elections. And in class I dreamed all day, About a rock 'n' roll weekend. And the girl in the front of the room, so close yet so far y'know she never seemed To notice That this silly school-boy crush Wasn't just pretend. Life goes by so fast, you only want to do what you think is right. Close your eyes and then it's past; (It's the) Story of my life. Another song that is simple yet effective. Hey Fred Durst, start reading words!!! Learn.
09/04 Direct Link
Back to work after a long weekend. More painful than any regular Monday. At least this long weekend coincided with an American one. I hate when our long weekends don’t fall on the same days. If I cross the border nothing cool is going on. Sure it’s less of a hassle time wise but I will put up with a long borderline up if there is something good happening over there! When you do something decent on a long weekend, coming back to work isn’t so horrid. I don’t know why I’m bitching. I didn’t even go over this weekend!
09/05 Direct Link
My desk is a mess. I try to clean it every week and by Wednesday it is like a bomb hit it. Funny my desk at home is spotless (save the odd beer bottle). I guess I just care more about my home shit more than my work shit. Seems rational to me. At least at work if my desk is a mess it looks like I am busy. Working in an open concept it is imperative that you look busy. Nothing worse than the CEO looking at your spotless desk as he walks by. Then again, his is spotless.
09/06 Direct Link
So I have a job interview next week at a new television station here. I am interviewing for an editorial position. It would be great to get this gig. Marlo wouldn’t like my hours much (6pm until 2am ish) but what a great gig it would be. I would be covering Hockey. What more could a guy in Canada ask for??? So I hope all you people reading this do whatever you need to do to get me this job. DO IT NOW! Thanks, you all are so nice! I will buy you all a beer if I get it!
09/07 Direct Link
Where the hell do all the paper clips go? I needed one today and for the life of me I couldn’t find one! I had about 2 million at my desk last week, now, nothing. Is there a paper clip fairy I wasn’t told about? Does the fairy come into my office and steal my paper clips to give to those in offices less fortunate? Is it like Christmas for the paper clip-less around the world? I can’t figure it out. When I don’t need one, there are thousands. I am gonna magnetize myself so I never lose them again!
09/08 Direct Link
Is the wireless Internet really necessary? Isn’t it enough that you can get paged or called anywhere with a cell phone? Now cell phones come with wireless Internet. I can’t fathom this. I sit at work all day in front of my computer, then go home and check my email in front of another computer. I couldn’t then check the web with my web phone. If you can’t get what you need from the damn telephone, aren’t you missing something? How did we do it in the 50’s & 60’s?? I don’t recall seeing Ward Cleaver with all these toys!!
09/09 Direct Link
Why is music on the radio so shit right now? I hate bringing cds to work in case the freaky programmer guys take a liking to them. I can’t believe bands like Limp Bizkit, POD et al have recording contracts. Who is doing A&R at these companies?? Are they hard of hearing? Why are good people left playing small clubs with no deal? I know it is great if a band claws there to the top on their own merits but I need to hear good music now!! What we need is a “Smells Like Teen Spirit” to kick-start something.
09/10 Direct Link
You Americans NEED to tastes Tim Horton’s Coffee. You can keep your Starbucks at $9 a cup. Grab a Tim’s at $1.30 a large. The best coffee Canada has to offer. No Venti or Grande or Rainforest Blend. Just good old cups of Coffee!!! And coffee flavoured coffee too!!!! I love it. I think I will go for one as soon as I am done this. Hhhmmm, I am thinking about it now and I can’t wait. It really is that good! Nothing better than starting a hung-over day with a Large Double Double! And the employees are pleasant too!
09/11 Direct Link
So I am walking to the office at around 9 am today. The ASP web guy says "Hey, a plane just crashed into the world trade center", I reply "fuck off, that's not even funny!" Log on the net and HOLY SHIT!! This shit is really happening!! I am flabbergasted. I really have no idea why someone would do this! Being from Northern Ireland, I am no stranger to terrorism but this is fucked. Terrorists are dangerous but the are NUTS when they will fly a plane into a building!!! I really have no clue about this. Scary Shit people!
09/12 Direct Link
The videos and still images are starting to come at us full force now. This is something I never thought I would I see or wanted to see in my lifetime. I can’t believe the way these acts were carried out. Something tells me if Gore was in office this wouldn’t have happened. It may just be revenge for what George sr did in the gulf war. God knows he pissed off a lot of whack jobs back then and getting at George Jr may be the idea. But what do I know; I am an Irishman living in Canada.
09/13 Direct Link
I still can’t really fathom what happened. I understand that terrorists will do anything to get their point across, but this is a little extreme. I can honestly say I have never put so much thought into hoping others are ok. People I don’t know now and probably never will are in my thoughts constantly. I am hoping the world realizes just how important and courageous the firefighters and volunteers and police are. Without any of these people this disaster would be far worse. In the coming weeks I hope all gets well and there is some sort of resolution.
09/14 Direct Link
In respect to the majority of the world announcing this day as one of mourning, my words will consist of this. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. God Bless The United States. May you heal quickly.
09/15 Direct Link
At least I have a distraction from this horrible week. I have a dragon boat tournament. It is the biggest one of the year and it is a welcome distraction to be honest. We are still expecting a few U.S. teams to make it although we know there is no way all will. It takes place at Ontario Place right on the lakeshore. Last year there was 124 teams and we (The Sportsnet Strokin’ Sea Monkeys) placed a respectable 64th. Not bad for a first year team. I will probably write about it a bit over the next 2 days
09/16 Direct Link
Well, we got through the first day and paddled awesome. In the first race, which determines what division you will paddle, we did 500 meters in 2:15. Quit a surprise as this put us in the running for the A division. In the second race we finished 6th with a time of 2:16. That put us in the B division. We are still happy though! According to our coach if we made the D division she would be pleased. We are pleased because we had better times that our coach’s team TWICE! Too bad it wasn’t in the same race!
09/17 Direct Link
On the Sundays day of events, we raced for the chance to get in to the B final or B consolation. We really didn’t want to get stuck in the B consolation after all that hard work. Well, we made the B final. WOOOOO!!!!! On the B final race and we finished sixth. Oh well, we gave it our all. After the race I traded jerseys with a member of the Black River Posse, a team from Michigan. All in all a great weekend. And 18th out of 132 boats is nothing to sneeze at. Way to go Sea Monkeys!
09/18 Direct Link
Fuck. I am sick as dog now. I knew I felt a cold coming on but I guess spending 2 days in Lake Ontario didn’t help any! I don’t wanna go to work today. I battled it out yesterday but it wasn’t so bad. I was able to bask in the glory of a good weekend and a dozen bottles of celebratory beers gave other things to think about. Not today. I feel like my head weighs about 100 pounds, and all phlegm. How come we can put men on the moon but can’t cure the common fucking cold???? Bastards.
09/19 Direct Link
I love beer. Not in the goofy, fat guy homer simpson type love. More like a connisseur type love. I will not hesitate to drop 20 bucks on a new type of import 6 pack. I recently spent 3 bucks on one bottle. Coopers Ale from Australia. Good shit. I miss Castlemaine XXX from Australia. Can’t get it here in the great white north anymore. See, our beer and liquor store aren’t private like the US. We have to buy our libations from the government. That my friends is shit. We pay tax on shit sold by the governement. Ironic.
09/20 Direct Link
Hockey season is fast approaching and I for one cannot wait! It is the best time of year (apart from the snow and cold). But I know my Maple Leafs are gonna stink the joint out again and let all of us fans down….AGAIN. I am going to a game in Montreal in November. That will rock. If you get a chance, go to Mangams (sp?) in Montreal. Awesome, awesome food. Comes to the table quick and it is cheap!! And the locals tell me that if you go gameday you have a good chance at meeting a few players.
09/21 Direct Link
I am getting sick of working. Someone out there needs to give me like $200,000.00 and I will dissaper for at least 5 years. It’s a good deal, trust me. I won’t write for 100words, angryface or anything. I will go away and bother nobody. I should put this on ebay and see how long it takes them to pull the auction. My guess would be 12 hours and it would be gone. Hhmm, no takers eh? I thought not. You people will regret this, now I am gonna write 100 words every day until the site is no longer!
09/22 Direct Link
I love VICKS. They are menthol cough drops that just work wonders. I don’t even have a bad cold or anything. I just love the way they taste. And they keep your throat fresh smelling and clear of any gunk. If only I didn’t feel like a drug addict after taking a few of them. You begin to realize that there are actually people in the world who eat them all day because they have a minute amount of alcohol in them. Like those crazy people that live on highway islands. Although they seem pretty content don’t they? Who’s crazy?
09/23 Direct Link
Fucking Karma. I am getting sick again. That’ll teach me to eat all kinds of VICKS when I am not needing them. The annoying thing tho is 2 guys at work. They get a little sniffle and the gotta go home. Fucking pansies. That annoys me. I will not call in sick unless I am dying. That or I wanna play hookey, but I don’t fake it. I just say I don’t feel like coming in. But these 2 clowns gotta make a show of it : SNIFFFF, “oh, I am dying, I better go home” cough cough. Fucking Wimps.
09/24 Direct Link
As I sat and had smoke outside this morning, I watched an ant. The ant walked up to a dead potato bug and investigated. After a few minutes of investigating, he proceeded to drag the dead potato bug to his home. Watching the ant drag this bug had me riveted. The potato bug had to be 5 times the size of the ant. Imagine if we had to eat this way? There would be a lot of starving people. The little ants tenacity amazed me. It made me feel like I had to achieve something today. Makes you wonder eh?
09/25 Direct Link
I have a fucking ear and throat infection and it is driving me nuts. I can barely hear out of my right ear and when I can it sounds like my ear is full of water. It is a hollow sound whenever I hear anything. I have to listen to Lo-fi type music to get my music fix. If I listen to a normal album it sounds like shit. I hate this. Make it go away. I have to crank my TV just to watch it. My neighbors must love me now!!! I will pay to get rid of this!
09/26 Direct Link
Playing hookey from work today. I still like shit and I don’t feel like going in. I will sit and rest my non-hearing ear and watch the matrix. If I can get through he whole thing. For some reason I can never get through the whole movie. The effects are nice but could someone re-write the story? Maybe its me but the first 45 minutes is drivel. It doesn’t really even lead up to the main story. On a good note, Carrie Anne Moss looks great in the leather outfits!!! I will give it a whirl again, better be good.
09/27 Direct Link
Playing hookey was nice. And yes I watched the whole movie. Still not impressed. Nice to look at and all but kinda boring. I hope they don’t make a sequel. The world doesn’t need to see Canoe Reeves and leather girl hook up. Anyway. I am diligently working on that angryface thing and loving it!! I feel like a kid again doing comics!!! I don’t think Koyen wants us pushing our own sites so I won’t name it directly but some feedback from fellow 100wordsmiths would be cool! I am going to miss crank though, one entertaining read, see ya!
09/28 Direct Link
Looking forward to the fights on Saturday. I am a big fight fan and have been looking forward to this one for a while. I am glad it is in New York too. Nice to see that the city is slowly starting to get on with life. Now if Trinidad beats Hopkins it will cap a nice week for me. It will be tough though. Even though Hopkins is a massive prick, he is a very good fighter! I would just like to see him knocked down a peg or two! Heres to the middleweights, fuck the heavyweights! Go Trinidad!
09/29 Direct Link
So far so good. I have done nothing at all so far this weekend and it is Sat at noon. Ahh, I could do this every day!! Sitting around with my friend beer and doing nothing. I lied; I actually went to Canadian Tire for 10 minutes. It was enjoyable though. Did a bit of guy shopping!!! Wood, tools and car stuff!! I feel like Al Bundy! I think I will sit with my hand tucked in my pants too!! Gonna watch some sports, maybe a flick and veg. All I need now is a nice big plate of curry!
09/30 Direct Link
What the fuck happened to Felix Trinidad last night??? He ran around like a scared little boy!! I was all geared up for a good fight, especially after the first 2 fights were pretty good!! Man, if Trinidad thinks he can meet Roy Jones jr now he is fucked. I know its a lot of pressure to put on a guy but he single handedly gave a prick like Hopkins the best seat in the boxing world. No one can watch the farce that is the heavyweight division anymore so Trinidad was the last hope. Hopkins + Undisputed Champ+Asshole!! SHIT!