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BY mling

10/01 Direct Link
After I finished piano, I scooted over to council to pick up the apps for the first two sessions. It was a few minutes before 5 p.m. and surprisingly all were in. AB wasn’t really happy to see me. OT order is still not in. 48 hours out and still not here. Nice. You’re killin’ my golden goose. They act like, “Oh, well…,” like it couldn’t be helped, like they had nothing to do with it being late. Clearly the talk at Pow Wow was fruitless. Nothing has essentially changed.

I passed by the unmailed brochures on my way out.
10/02 Direct Link
I spent today entering apps. The numbers are down. A lot. DB is bringing about 30 scouts. Mr BH is coming this weekend also. So is P270.

The patches and OT came in today. Twenty-four hours out. I haven’t seen the patches. AB has someplace he’s got to be Friday night. No surprise there. He is the staff advisor, after all. And I’m getting to where I don’t care. About any of it. Just get me in and get me out. I don’t want to watch it die after all these years of work.

“It’s not worth this damned abuse.”
10/03 Direct Link
I left early so I could get home in time for Numb3rs. I grabbed a quick hotdog meal and headed out. I did talk to MJ before I went. Our favorite staff advisor told her he had brought everything from the office, but he didn’t. Because of it, we ran out of stuff for the kids and didn’t have the cow boy hats for the adults “I hate to complain about him all the time, but this is getting ridiculous.” She says she is going to chew him out. We’ll see.

If they don’t have fun they won’t come back.
10/04 Direct Link
I feel a little better about it all today. The missing supplies were at camp when I got there. M and M went to council last night and brought them back. And apparently she did chew A out about it. He avoided me most of today. He did make up for some of it with the food, though. We had awesome steaks for lunch. They also served the vegetable tray and chocolate candy that was meant for me. It never made it to admin. T & C came to get M, so I got to introduced Will to the group.
10/05 Direct Link
One weekend down, Eric said today. TC & MC left last night so M was my Program Director. Things went well enough that we already have the achievements and electives page done. I printing it out for session 2’s groups. I haven’t had it done this early in years.

I was so tired when it was over I had them just pile everything up on the tables in admin. I’m also slowly shifting the junk in the front bedroom to the back room of handicraft. I’m being good and labeling as I go, so anyone will know whose it is.
10/06 Direct Link
This weekend for Sessions I we had 71 scouts and 85 non-scouts, for a total of 156 heads. For Session II we had 45 scouts and 68 non-scouts, for a total of 112 heads. So for the weekend we had 116 scouts and 153 non-scouts, for a total of 268 people. We brought in over $4000. Not that Ray will be satisfied.

The kids came over today. Matt had stayed with them Saturday and Sunday. I was comatose. I just sat in my chair and watched everything and dared anyone to ask me to do anything. R brought home Arby’s.
10/07 Direct Link
Emailed today to council:

“I've attached my Oriental Trading purchase order for the first weekend.

I will also need 300+ grocery size paper bags, either donated for free or purchased from Sams. We have plenty of the smaller bags in handicraft.

Depending on how much printing I do, I may need another black ink cartridge. I've still got 2-3 extra color cartridges and plenty of cardstock.

The big copier at camp needs attention. It may just need more toner.

Questions, clarification--I s/b home all day. If you leave a message, I'll try to call you right back.

YiS
~~M
10/08 Direct Link
I blew off piano yesterday. My knees still hurt, my joints hurt, and I feel like I’m coming down with something. I’m getting to old for this.

I ordered myself a watch today from Amazon. I’ve been debating this decision for longer than it deserves. I finally went with what I knew—Timex. While there I threw in a book that I’d been looking at, “How to Play from a Fake Book.” Mrs. T would kill me if she knew I was looking for shortcuts. And I got a drinking fountain for the dogs. Filtered water. I spoil my pets.
10/09 Direct Link
“Journal Prompt: Open a dictionary, pick a word at random, write about that word.”

Circumlocution-- the use of an unnecessarily large number of words to express an idea.

I laughed when I saw this word. I noticed I was doing this during U of S. But I am always hearing questions in my head, always explaining, always teaching. So when someone asks me a question, I tend to give excruciatingly exact explanations. Ed always hated when I did this. I had to be succinct with him. Now Matt has taken up the charge of telling me when to stop talking.
10/10 Direct Link
Also from: The Journal Prompt Library (created by David Kellin)

When I am criticized I feel…
angry and unappreciated. It takes me back to my childhood. I feel the hurt and frustration. I feel helpless. Only now I bite back. If they are critiquing an action, like my lateness, that I am guilty of, then I will accept it. But if it is a personal attack, I now defend myself as heartily as I would my friends and loved ones. I’ve stopped waiting for my knight to slay the mean dragons. I do that myself now. I release my inner bitch.
10/11 Direct Link
I’m doing pretty good getting the credit cards paid off. I’ve hit universal card with a few thousand dollar payments over the last few months. The others I pay off regularly, sometimes having the charge and the payment land on the same statement. I tried to talk R into letting me do a balance transfer for the credit union loan, but he said he didn’t miss the money so leave it be. I’d agree if it wasn’t being charged double-digit interest. Meanwhile, Harris has two machine shop shifts so R shouldn’t get laid off any time soon. So we’re okay.
10/12 Direct Link
This is looking like a busy week for me—piano on Tuesday, Round Table on Thursday, Akela III and IV this weekend. And Monday is Columbus Day. You know how I’m into Columbus Day. My English bloodline is abusing the Cherokee part, taking away all its property and making it go on a long hike. That must be why I don’t like walking for exercise—brings back repressed memories. I could go to Wild Game on Tuesday, but I’d have to pay. And I’m still pissed about not getting the job. So, like the man said, “No tickie, no washie.”
10/13 Direct Link
Columbus Day. 1492 and all that stuff. Great if your ancestors are of European descent like most of mine; not so good if you were Native American, like one of my lines is. My daddy’s side hates any non-whites, so we were not told much about our shameful heritage. We knew Grandpa was “part Indian,” but that was as far as the story went. He certainly didn’t act like any Indian we knew of. It wasn’t until I saw Aunt Cherry at the Chehaw Park Indian Festival and asked her about it that I found out “the Indian” was Cherokee.
10/14 Direct Link
The story goes that once upon a time some years ago, the United States government decided to send all the east coast Indians on a long journey to the west. During this journey, an Indian boy got lost from the group. A white family found him and took him in and raised him. This boy’s Indian surname was “Bird,” which he retained. Later, he married a white woman who changed the spelling to “Byrd” so it would look like a white name. I don’t know if he was literate, but it sounds like she was. My Grandma is his descendant.
10/15 Direct Link
My Grandma was definitely literate. I get my love of reading from her. She was constantly reading romance novels, books, and magazines. She had them beside her favorite chair and bed, just like me. She and Mama swapped boxes of Harlequin novels all the time. I’ve still got some of hers that they gave me after her death.

I think all that reading is what kept her mind strong to the end. The morphine gave her some hallucinations, but she was still aware of everything. She knew who we all were and she knew where she was. And why.

(Continued….)
10/16 Direct Link
That last day in the hospital, before I left I bent over her and hugged her. I said, “I love you.” and she said, “I love you more.” It was so unexpected that I sort of jumped, then I hugged her harder. We had always said, I love you/I love you, too. But not this time. We both knew we were saying goodbye. Or rather, “I’ll see you later.”

I absolutely refused to step foot in her house after she passed. Some understood; some didn’t. I didn’t care. Years later, I went when no one was there. Still too soon.
10/17 Direct Link
She went to church from as far back as I can remember until she was physically unable. Folks called and visited her regularly, bringing her small gifts. At the viewing, people came from all over. We were astonished at the crowd. I knew Grandma was loved. But I had no idea.

After she passed, any gifts we had given to her came back to us. I was surprised to also learn that she had given instructions that a certain wall hanging I had admired be given to me. I had completely forgotten about it. It now hangs on my wall.
10/18 Direct Link
The year she died so many other things were happening. Other losses competed for attention. Me and Mama had just gotten out of our respective hospitals, JR had died of cancer a week earlier. And EH was pulling away. I could feel it. He had done so much to build my confidence and self-esteem; I was scared to death of life without him. He had stood up for me when no one else would. He had taught me to value myself, to stand up for myself. And he had shown me one hell of a good time. And then left.
10/19 Direct Link
They all leave eventually. Friends leave; family disappoints. I’ve come to expect it.

I read once that Henry Miller (the author) didn’t collect friends, he collected friendships. I like that. When I tried to have close friends, I was always rejected. Or used. But friendships are another thing. They are not as demanding, not as controlling. It’s simple: Read people. Listen to people. Ask them questions. Let them talk. Discuss their problems. They’ll love you.

And occasionally someone will pull you to the side and want get to know you. That’s the friend. You’ll get close. Then he will leave.
10/20 Direct Link
Akela III & IV are done. Not without incident. But my new cell phone passed the test. It worked at camp from inside admin to inside the dining hall. I got it on the 10th and changed my email sig to announced the new number on the 13th. I had a week to learn the ins and outs of my new toy. The old phone is in my car for emergency. It will only take me $30/year to keep the number. I thought of giving it to R’s sister. Or Daddy and Vicki. I’ll have to think about that one.
10/21 Direct Link
On Tue, Oct 14, 2008 at 7:25 PM, I sent this:

Gang,

We had three people signed up for Session 3 (Friday/Saturday) but two had called me to change to Session 4. That left one father and son for Session 3. I called him tonight and explained the situation. He had no problem changing from Session 3 to Session 4. So, unless anyone has registered after M left on Friday, we now have NO ONE registered for Session 3.

Council: If someone did register late for Session 3, I need to know ASAP so I can call them.
10/22 Direct Link
Next I sent this:

Ray, unless I hear different from you, I going to announce that Session 3 is cancelled.

The next day, after a phone call. I sent this:

Just spoke to Council. One pack is now signed up for Session 3. They have 8 scouts and ~8 others. Council says for us to go ahead with it…

The guy says his boys (mostly Tigers) will not want to perform... They seem mostly interested in the campout and the beltloop rotation. He is aware that it will just be his group at the event and is okay with that.
10/23 Direct Link
I resigned myself to the inevitable, went to RT on Thursday, and finalized plans. Friday, the day of Session 3, AB sent this from the WALB weather site:

Today:Increasing cloud. 20% chance of afternoon showers and thunderstorm. High 84. Tonight:Mostly cloudy with a 60% chance of showers and thunderstorms. Low 58.

I replied back: Sounds like fun. Did oriental come in yet? Have you guys assigned campsites for Session 4? When will you get at camp today?

Last time OT came in the day before camp. They promised that they would place this order quickly. I’ve heard that one before.
10/24 Direct Link
He replied back with a 222 word email:

I have not assigned campsites for session 4. Oriental is not in so give me a list of goodies to get from Wal-Mart. If the order isn't in by 2 p.m., we'll be left with no other options.

The rest of the email was filibuster to steer me off the main fact: OT was not in.

I replied immediately and CC’d to RA: When did you send in the order? Have you tracked it to see where it is? (I included a supply list). I need it at camp by 6 pm.
10/25 Direct Link
He replied back: OT order was sent Oct. 10, overnighted with a check for the order, the order sheet and an extra check to cover express shipping. They say it hasn't been received, I will be fighting with the post office this afternoon, it looks like.


I was pissed. RA & I had talked about this. They had promised that the account would be set up “in ten days” and this xxxx would not happen any more. He had said to let him know if AB dropped the ball. He’s in the loop. Now he can’t say he didn’t know.
10/26 Direct Link
Then, on the way to camp, TC called me on my old cell phone to say she had to go to work the next morning and wouldn’t be at camp that night. Luckily there were only 22 people for that session. Because we only had three workers: me, R, and MC. To get out of the dog house, AB and his wife jumped in and helped. Since MC didn’t know how to “act like a program director,” I was up to bat for the first time since GY left--doing double duty as camp director and program director. F’ing unbelievable.
10/27 Direct Link
MC did check-in while I prepped for the next session. I heard RA’s voice. When he saw me he motioned for me to meet him in the office. “Calm down, M, everything is going fine.” He was trying to be reassuring. I unloaded. He swore it wasn’t AB’s fault. “Then can I order it this time.” “Yes, I told you that you could order it and I would reimburse you.” “R, it took a month to get a $100 reimbursement.” “Tell you what, this time I’ll get you the check the next day.” “Really?” “Well, okay, give me three days.”
10/28 Direct Link
TC apologized profusely when she realized what she had done to me. Her recruited workers never showed up. RA chatted me up so much R came and joined us. And I saw a different side of him at Firebowl. “I’ve got to lead a song,” he grumbled. “Absolutely. You told me to treat you like a parent. I was going to blow off Firebowl tonight but now I’ve got to go just to watch you.” And it was worth it all

…help me, help me, Hun-ter’s going to shoot me dead. Come in, Rabbit, Come in Rabbit, Rabbit stew tonight.
10/29 Direct Link
On Monday (20th ), AB sent this: I just got off the phone with OT. The bank shows they cashed our checks and the checks cleared on Oct. 14 and 15. However, they don't have a record of our order coming in. Do you have any customer numbers or anything else that somehow might have gotten connected to this order that they can use? When I sent the order, I printed your email.… They have no record of transactions attached to the council address or my home address.

Well, now, the plot thickens. I checked my OT account. It’s empty.
10/30 Direct Link
Sunday (26th ) we attended the family reunion. When we got there, they had already started the business meeting. As we walked in, CW was asking if we had any new babies or grandbabies. I said, “I do. Hopefully he is on the way.” They thought it started at 2:00, so that is when they got there. I took W while they ate, then held him as he leaned over the table to be fed from C’s plate. Until then he wasn’t happy. Strange place, strange people gawking at him. Just wait until he finds out he’s related to them.
10/31 Direct Link
Turns out OT got the order, but there was a price discrepancy and so they put a hold on it. Then never followed up. AB was going to tell them to run the order. I suggested he just cancel it since we won’t need as much now that two more sessions have passed. I did place the order online, had it shipped to my house, and paid for expedited shipping to get it on Friday. It arrived Monday. R & I took it to camp, did an inventory, and sorted everything out. It’s organized, set out and ready. Are we?