I went to the troop meeting with R to teach PM merit badge.  When I asked who did the homework, only one hand went up.  I gave him $1.00 as reward and told him to write that down as his first entry in his financial record.  I handed out new books to all, reassigned Requirement 1, and added for them to read pages one through nineteen.  I told R, there is no reason for me to tell them what is already in the book for them to read.  I’ll help the illiterate dad’s kid; the rest are on their own.

Piano yesterday I finished two-handed “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and started the version in the hymnal.  I can do the right hand by itself okay, but when the left hand tries to join, it is not pretty.  I also finished “Carol of the Bells”  well enough.  I told her we could pick it up again next Christmas.  She liked that idea.  I’m still curious about what level “Carol of the Bells” is.  I looked on Schaum.com and found that it is available in easy and level six.  I hope this is level six.  I think I’ll order them both.

I ordered the Schaum.com stuff plus a few more piano books.  Now that I’m at this skill level, my excitement has returned.  I feel like I am really playing piano, now.  And I’ve learned so much about music in general.  This is taking longer than I expected—or rather, I’ve held on longer than I thought I would.  But we are both having a blast.  It is humiliating and invigorating at the same time.  And it is a healthy way to break a depressive cycle. 

BTW, my Seasonal Affective Disorder is better since I started taking vitamins.  Wow.  Who knew?

M got home early today and immediately got ready to go to his brother’s house.  He got there before he was expected—no body was home.  Meanwhile, I got a call from T’s security company.  I was online at the time, so rather than call them back, I tried to call each of the boys.  No answer.  M called a few minutes later.  Apparently he set off the silent alarm.  The police checked everything out and approved him.  So at least we know the security company is not a hoax.  They’re on the job after all.  That’s good to know.

R and I did the December Used Book Sale today.  We stayed busy; we had a slow to moderate crowd all day.  All was nice and quiet and peaceful until around 12:30 p.m.  A guy walked in that I remembered from before.  It was just R, him, and me—not that it would have mattered.  He talked nonstop for 45 minutes.  Without asking, I found out where he graduated university, where he lived, his opinion about everything from literature, politics, religion (liberal agnostic, there’s a surprise).  He reminded me of you-know-who.  R finally had to make him leave at 1:15.

I didn’t leave the Used Book Sale empty-handed, of course.  I got some fun books for W, a hardbound Shakespeare, and a Western Lit book with a lot of my Reading List stories in it.  Except for Confucius, which our library does not have, I’ve completed the Reading List through Sophocles.  Euripides Electra is next. 

After the library, we went to Albany to do some Christmas shopping.  We ate at Logan’s so R could throw peanut shells on the floor, then hit Kmart and Wal-Mart.  Before it was over, R wished he had taken my advice and shopped online instead.

My Schaum music came in.  I was right.  My Carol of the Bells is the hard one, the level six one.  I’m glad to know that.  And now I’ve got the easy (level three) version to work on by myself.  I also got a book of easy Christmas music.  I’ve got plenty of hymns, Christmas and otherwise, but few secular Christmas stuff.  Now I can play Santa music, too.  I plan to have a very musical Christmas this year.  I want W to think of me as the Grandma who could really play piano, in both senses of the word.

M left for T’s house yesterday.  He plans to stay with them until his next quarter starts in January.  I’m glad.  We could use some time apart.  I can tell he definitely feels like the nest closing in on him. 

R surprised me today by getting the tree down from the attic.  He even put the lights on for me.  I had him set up the yard lights we bought last year, so that got him into the decorating mood.  Seeing the tree has put me in the decorating mood now.  It’s beginning to look like Christmas at our house.

I’m reading Euripides now.  Medea is my kind of woman—a Super Bitch.  Like Clytemnestra in the Oresteia, she got done wrong by her man and gave back as good as she got.  E did a pretty good job of conveying the blinding rage a woman feels at being dissed by the man she loved and trusted and gave up everything for.  Her vengeance was impressive. 

It is cold and rainy today.  We are getting flood watches and freeze warnings.  I’m in hibernation.  So are the kids, I guess.  We did have one visitor today.  B showed up asking a favor.  She wants me to wrap a gift to her Mama.  She says she is tired of her brother never giving their mom a gift and wants to make her think this one is from him, not her.  We told her, “She won’t be fooled.  If he doesn’t buy her a gift when he’s got money, why would he buy her one when he is broke?"

The kids were a no show all weekend, probably because of the weather.  I got the house decorated anyway.  We did have visitors, though.  KH and J came by.  He wants another video game.  He knows exactly what he wants down to the year of its release.  And he knows his Uncle R can find anything on the internet.  And R gets a real kick out of it.  He likes being the fun uncle, the dependable uncle.  Too many of his nieces and nephews do not have fathers in their lives.  Since RH died, K’s boys have joined that list. 

R made Low Country Boil—shrimp, potatoes, corn, and sausage—on Friday night since we thought the kids were coming this weekend.  So we ate LCB all weekend long.  It was awesome.  I usually let everyone else go first, so I’ve never gotten so much shrimp before.  I thought I’d get tired of it already.  Nope.  Just keeps getting better.  They better not stay away too much longer.  We’re getting adjusted to just being the two of us again.  It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.  As a matter of fact, I’m really beginning to like it.

Today has been a SARS day.  I cannot get going for some reason.  I even cancelled piano at the last minute.  I took my meds on an empty stomach and in 15 minutes I was almost doubled over in pain.  So I’ll go tomorrow instead. 

R is going to the Troop Christmas party tonight.  I’ve made up some little gifts for the boys, a compass and a candy cane.  Dollar gifts, I call them.  I don’t plan to go.  My kid is not there, after all.  And the wicked witch will be.  I’m not in a forgivin’ mood just yet. 

I finished “The Clouds” last night.  I read the review today and wasn’t sure it referred to the same play.  Benjamin Bickley Rogers’ translation is confusing.  Although it may be that many of Aristophanes’ references are so topical that I just do not get the joke.  Anyway, “The Birds” comes next.  We’ll see if it is any clearer.

I went to piano today.  My head was still cloudy and it showed during my lesson.  I had trouble reading stuff I’ve been reading for years.  But I’m out until the New Year.  I’ll play with my new stuff for a while.

I stayed up past midnight to catch RDj on Letterman.  He has light brown hair for some reason, not his best color.  In the movie, his hair is black, his body is buff, and his usual hotness is sizzling.  He is on Regis tomorrow.  I may go to bed at a decent hour.

I finally got Different Christmas ATC in the mail.  It’s two weeks late.  It goes to the Netherlands.  Then I started researching Ares.  I found out Kevin Smith, the guy who played him on Hercules, is dead.  OMG.  I never know what I’ll learn from my ATCs.

I got up around 9 a.m. to catch RDj on Regis.  He looked and acted more like his usual self, the thoughtful guy, the sweet guy, the guy I’ve got the crush on. 

The kids came over today.  Both the mama and the babybaby were enthralled with the Christmas tree.  W murmured and stared at it with fascination, gently touching, then swinging each ornament.  He saw the nativity table-scape and promptly claimed it.  I got a picture.  Later, R got a picture of him standing on the table.  They stayed until 8:00 p.m., when Dollhouse came on.  R loves Dollhouse.

The boys, on the other hand, were mean all night.  M has been gone long enough for me to realize how disrespectful he has gotten lately.  They stuffed my big teddy bear in the cabinet under the TV, knowing it would make me mad.  It made W mad, too.  And they wouldn’t get it out when I asked them to.

I’m pleased with how much R and I have gotten into the Christmas spirit this year.  I should stop waiting for the guys to get on board.  I should ignore their criticisms.  They are getting so like their granddaddy.  Sad.

OMG!  It’s less than a week until Christmas.  I’m still waiting for a few gifts to come in, although I’ve got a few extra days on them since we are having Christmas at Mama’s next week.  But we still need to get a few more things for the kids.  I’m okay with our stuff for W, since he is not old enough to worry with the quantity, and the quality is good.  I got him a See and Say; R got him a Thomas the Tank Engine flashlight.  He is at the age where it is still fun and easy.

Today is the winter solstice.  It is the shortest day of the year.  And it is as cold as a witch’s bottom. 

I set a picture of Stonehenge as my laptop background.  With all the reading I’ve been doing regarding Greek deities, combined with my Bible reading, I’m seeing lots of interesting overlap.  Now adding solstice and Christmas traditions has really got the pot stirring.  Throw in a little mental illness, and we’ve got a perfect setting for a new religion.  Or more likely, a neo-religion.   Where boys are not superior just because they are stronger.  I’d rather worship oxen.

It’s official.  R has SAD.  Or so he says, anyway.  He says all he does is eats, sleeps, and watches television.  I told him it’s this house, it does it to you.  What it really is, is that he has gotten off his schedule.  He stays up later than he is accustomed to, sleeps until he feels like getting up, then eats, takes naps, and watches junk.  He is one of those who would be dead in a fortnight if he retired.  That is why I’m not going to let him.  Work him to death and he will live longer.

I read an article today (on CalorieCount.com) about the “Helper’s High.” It is “…a burst of energy… followed by a feeling of serenity” that comes from helping others.  It is similar to the results of exercise or meditation but it can last for several weeks and be re-summoned by recalling the kind act. The strongest high occurs when the helpful act involves direct contact with another.”  It suggests that elderly people should volunteer at least four hours a week. 

This explains my intense addiction to Scouting.  That high, that euphoria, I know it well.  I’ve felt it from the beginning.

I finally put Ares ATC in the mail.  I’m actually proud if it.  It turned out kind of sexy.  I found a painting called Mars Resting.  I cropped it close and added the line, “Do what you love; love what you do.”  Words to live by.

My aunt R’s party is tonight.  B showed interest in ATC’s so I’m going to bring her some to give her the idea of what they are.  I’m also bringing the gift I wrapped for her that we are pretending comes from her brother.  Whatever makes her happy.  I hope her mama is fooled.

Aunt R’s party was fun and relatively quiet.  All the loud people have either died or quit coming.  R and I played cards with A and M. 

Uncle L popped in for a few minutes; Uncle G and Aunt D stayed until supper was over.  Aunt D came without Uncle T; he’s sick.  And Aunt M was there.  I hadn’t seen her since Uncle M died.  L and her husband brought her, which I thought was sweet.

As far as I could tell, no body was stoned this year.  They’ve all grown up and gotten respectable.  Or partied somewhere else.

Christmas at my house was fun.  Everyone loved their gifts.   And the clam chowder was exceptional.   W went straight to his pop-pop and Thomas the Tank Engine flashlight.  C loved his See and Say and the wooden train, both educational toys.  That gave him two low tech toys, one medium tech, and one sort of high tech.

The boys liked their aviator sunglasses and were impressed with the coin sets R ordered. And C really liked her Joy of Cooking cookbook.  I told her M said it was her favorite.  And since M loves to cook, that is saying something.

We got two surprises today:  the kids came for a visit (they were bored) and M came back home to stay.  I expected him to stay with them until the last possible minute.  We had given each one his favorite movie for Christmas.  We watched T’s Soylent Green on Christmas day, so we watched M’s Ghost Busters DVD today.  I also got R a DVD set:  Doll House, Season 1.  He says I totally surprised him with it.  Good. 

I’ll get my movie tomorrow.  Sherlock Holmes opened December 25, starring RDj.  I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. 

I told R I was going to see SH on the 25^th, but since the kids stayed here all day, I gladly postponed my trip.  Saturday I had SARS and knew the theater would be crowded, so we postponed until Sunday.  C called that morning.  No, we’re not doing anything today.  Come on over.

After:   OMG, it was so worth the wait; it exceeded expectations.  It was slow in places, but I realized later those areas were setting up for the climax.  In more than one place I screamed or jumped; it was totally awesome.  I’ll definitely get the DVD.

We had the job discussion today.  I finally told him if he gets laid off, I’ll put the Cadi up for sale and start looking for a job.  He said, “Okay.”  I then said I'd start driving his truck.  “What am I supposed to drive?!”  “You won't need to drive.  You'll be laid off.  I'll be the one working.”  He gave met a cagey look.  “And we'll ditch the internet, cable, and cell phones.”  “You can't live without the internet.”  “Yes, I can.  Like Dr. P says, there are no sacred cows.”  “Yes, there are,” M says.  “They're in India.”