read
write
members
about
account

 

datedatememberrandomsearch

03/01 Direct Link
First day of March! I'm sitting by the box eating a bowl of muesli, getting ready to march to the station soon, and from there enjoy the forty-minute train-trip to work.

It's not a bad trip when the weather's alright. It's nice to just sit a while and not do anything. Look out the window. Take in the sights and scenes and slights of life that are going on outside.

It's barely ten stations between here and there, and come to think of it four minutes is a really short time between each of them. I'll train again.
03/02 Direct Link
He picked up the wallet. He threw it in the trash pile. He didn't have time for fake riches, and stitches, he just wants to live in the denial. He has a crappy life and the problems they pile. He fire breaths a dragon his breath is so vile. But as he grew up as an obedient child the thought struck him: would he still live defiled? Would be keep getting riled up, and keep getting smiled at, though even this young sir know he was so dumber, and all he did was wonder? Might as well become a plumber.
03/03 Direct Link
In the house, lives a man, a man of doubt, a man of will, a man of vision, a man who will, someday move mountains, when he stands still.

In the house, lives a man, a man with ambition, a man of plan, a man who will do, a man who can, a man who still moves, and understands.

In the house, lives a man, a man of power, a man of strength, a man who goes, to greater lengths, than other men, he tries again.

In the house, lives a man, a man who stands, and understands. A man.
03/04 Direct Link
A day passed, and I'm tired. Days they go. Days they go, and they tire me so. Days they run. Days of work and days of fun. Some days are fast, and some slow slow, some days I'm on a roll, but days they go.

The days I'm on a roll go so fast. Even if I have a dope blast. Before I know it the show's past, and the day's just go, the day's just go, the day's... just... go.

I look out the window and the snow's black. Because there is snow. Because the days they go: past.
03/05 Direct Link
I need 50 boats! 50 boats! However am I going to get 50 boats? Should I buy a hundred buckets? Should I buy a hundred nets, should I spend time by the computer, some time that I'd regret? Should I fish until I wisher, should I fish until I thin, or should I teach a man to fish, so he can fish fish at a whim? It's enough to stay afloat, but I need 50 boats.

Well, digital ones. I'm playing a game; I'm clicking away ferociously. It feels good to type a bit for a change. Here we go.
03/06 Direct Link
No way will you lose to me. I'm so great, because I choose to be. No way will you stop my stride, I'll keep going on till I'm after life. No way will you get me down, I won't let you now, I keep going till it sets you down and out. I've never been a louder mouth, but a louder pen? I am. Time and time again. Time and time again. Time the time again. Time this time you'll send me, I live where there's plenty. It's all our own definition. Our own definition. Our own definition. Time end.
03/07 Direct Link
The days sure go by fast! I've had a blast, but I don't even remember the lunch that I had last - day. Was it pancakes? Was it from some other stash? I'm sipping tea right now and popcorn. I've got a lot on my mind, but I won't stop, I'm in top form. I keep going till I drop. I keep going till I stop, and go to sleep and wake up with forgot scorn. Each day is new days, each day is news and views great! Put on your shoes and get into the world and make it you.
03/08 Direct Link
Listen, this is my definition of prison. This life we live... and these religions. This time we give, all these days we slave away for paper, paper we keep saving for later. To live? To give to our kids? What do we live for! Some people find purpose in their kids, some instill war, some need more, some don't think the reason holds, like me, I'm growing old but I still can't find a purpose I'm told, so many things, but no purpose it holds. I'd rather go out find some gold. Something real. Material. That is all. All material.
03/09 Direct Link
Alas! I look down into my flask, and I see some kind of liquid... I wonder... what is it? I look down but I don't see ground, I see all of these wishes, and I wonder... what is this? I look around and I see all of these pictures and I wonder, I wonder why we live? I wonder why we take? I wonder why we give? I wonder what's at stake? I wonder why we still? Instill our fears on others. Our sisters, mothers, brothers, fathers, others, martyrs, cover artists for that which we wish we were. Our world.
03/10 Direct Link
I started writing a hundred words here, but it turned out too short, and too great, and I cut it out and posted it as a poem on my site instead. So, here we go again, second try:

We live a life. We live and live. We live and die. And then we die. And will we live? I don't know yet. Or if I will. It's on my mind. For quite a bit. For quite some time. And maybe all, unnecessary. Why should we worry, about what's after, when we can fill, our days with laughter. All the time.
03/11 Direct Link
Eleven Eleven Eleven Eleven Eleven Eleven Eleven.

Like the name of a kiosk. Did you know Kiosk is the same word in both English and Swedish? It's pretty neat how certain words work over the lingual barriers like that. It's even pronounced the same, this I didn't know until today, but now I do and all is groovy.

I don't know why I said all is groovy. Kind of moves away from the topic of this post. My thoughts move in waves; strange ways. My mind strives to find topics to speak of. Well-being or weather. All is well.
03/12 Direct Link
Live and be strong. Be strong, and live. Live strong, and be. And like a bee: defy the laws of your existence. Fly! Flee! Fly! Foe! Fiend! The sky's the limit.

I wandered in the dark grass. Sat around at the edges of a misty oblivion. Wondered if I'd wander, or if I'd make it, and if I'd squander all the chances I had. But fear not, because I will still stand! I will be who I am destined to, and if I am not destined too, then I will still be. Like a bee, defying the laws of existence.
03/13 Direct Link
I am the one and zombie. I roam the streets. I sniff the scents. I get a whiff of the undead, and there I go again! I roam. Alone. My home. The streets. I feel. A need. For BRAINS... but don't you be pretentious.

I meant something in a previous life. I was special. I was one, but now I'm just one with the pack. Now I just run with the pack, and there's no running back, because this pack will have none of that. So: I go. I'm done. I run I am one. Beyond need. I am: zombie.
03/14 Direct Link
I thought I'd check in and just see what's up. See what's popping. See what's happening in this grand life of ours. This grand design. This plan divine. See what's going on around these parts. Between these streams of Walmart's and other confines, where we don't know where to draw the line.

I flew up dressed, like a feathered bird out of a cuckoos nest. The world is too obtuse to step through, but whatever's still left do let us do and then let us choose our next step. And do what's next. And do what's next. Dude, what's next?
03/15 Direct Link
The fifth teen wandered. The fifth teen didn't know where he should go. The fifth teen stood on the slope to greatness, but it felt too steep. The fifth teen had strong arms, so he could climb to harm. The fifth teen was greedy. The fifth teen wanted something new. Something fresh. Something to lose. Something, he'd chose. The fifth teen. "If you've seen what I've seen" the old man told The fifth teen, "then all in this world will seem like a sick dream!!"

The fifth teen stared at him, and wondered, can this man be telling the truth?
03/16 Direct Link
Sigh. So much to do, and so little time, as always, but I'm feeling pretty good anyway. I'm feeling accomplished today, like I made some money and lived the life (because I did) and still have some energy to spare on the projects I truly love working with. Whatever involves writing, that is. I just sit down and type, and type and type, and type and type, and get side-tracked and start playing Resident Evil 4 instead and lose track of time and suddenly the day is over and my typing time gone.... better turn on my gaming computer.
03/17 Direct Link
I crashed my bike today. Was rolling down a slope, saw a bump in the road, tried to avoid it... and next thing I know I was surfing along the gravel, scraping off any surplus skin on my right arm. And hand. And tearing a few holes in my clothes. And moments later I was at the hospital (fortunately the bike was still in good shape so I could get there easily enough) getting patched up. I went to work, and then I went home, and then I really started feeling like shit. Hip's hurting. Head's hurting. All's not well.
03/18 Direct Link
Apparently I really banging my hip yesterday too, because sleep last night was the one thing I just couldn't get. I couldn't turn. I couldn't lie on either side without waking a world of hurt. I still woke up feeling somewhat rested, which is strange. I guess I must have dozed off after all.

Apparently I twisted my neck as well, because the left side of that is just so incredibly stiff today too that I can't seem to stretch it into shape at all. I wonder how long that'll stay thataway. My wounds sting. And, I have a cold.
03/19 Direct Link
Looking at adverts, trying to rake up enough points to make it through another month. That's how it is when you don't want to pay for your cellphone subscription. But who wants to pay when there's Wifog; when it's free?

I wonder sometimes if it's worth the trouble. All this time that I spend just clicking and watching, and sometimes answering a survey. Is it worth it? Does paying less for certain services leave me with more time to enjoy life, or is it really the other way around? Would paying for this let me live, instead? Price of freedom.
03/20 Direct Link
I'm so many many days down at this moment. They run past, and occasionally I log in again and try to catch up, and then before you know it they're gone again. Circle of life. Cycle of times. And sometimes I stall, and stop, and don't know how I should be spending this time I have such surplus of, but then work comes running again and I remember that I don't have such surplus of it after all. I have just enough that I may waste some of it, and forget it exists in limited quantities. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe then.
03/21 Direct Link
Time to write ninety random words, in no particular order:

Carrot
Bohemian
Parrot
Premium
Chocolate
Brick
Mortar
Bazooka
Cops
Robbers
Chinese
Jade
Bethesda
Trials
Errors
Tribulations
Lotto
Joker
Jackpot
Hitter
Hitlist
Rhino
Raptor
Helicopter
Pot
List
Windows
Doors
Hell
Heaven
Clouds
Water
Rain
Sleet
Snow
Blower
Redemption
Mercy
Craze
Rage
Toast
Wonderbread
Neverland
Wasp
Nest
LEGO (TM)
Humanism
Neoliberalism
Showtime
Cactus

But hey, maybe that's enough. Coming up with unique words wasn't as much a flow of thought as it was a strain of thinking, I felt. How easy do words come to you? Give it a try! Come on.
03/22 Direct Link
I just want to... dive down into the cold summer water, and swim around, and wonder if the birds will nest this evening.

I think I'm found. I think I found my place, my spot in life, my soft spot, I'm happy to be breathing.

I wonder if you see it? I wonder if you know? I wonder if you take the stroll from home to work and take time: to look up at the snow.

And see the sun in passing, see it one last time. Wonder if the skies are blacker now, or now or never? It is time.
03/23 Direct Link
Look back, look back at my good tracks.
It's been a good run, I could have shook that.
Racer off of me: I could be Good Cat.
I could take aim and - run them of all their goods back.
I could run the mall! I could buy it all!
I could fly so tall the highest mall would be like: nah
I could say a few things bout how you shout it out,
I could use a louder mouth, I could clear a fountain now,
I could do this time and time again! Time it sends!
Me inspiration. I grab my fountain pen.
03/24 Direct Link
Oh man oh man oh man. So much to do, so little time, and right now: so little inspiration. I mean really, where is it? It feels like sickness swept in, and my inspiration just drifted away and left me here, and now suddenly our days are one hour shorter a piece and I have no surplus time that I used to, even if the days are really all the same. And I don't mean that like they are monotone. I mean they just go, and go, and they never stop, and I start wondering what I'm really doing here.
03/25 Direct Link
The close of March is closing in quickly. For the third time this year I feel like a month has passed before a month should have passed. I wasn't done with this segment yet. I had goals, and visions, and dreams I hoped to accomplish... but time waits for no one. Especially this year.

Maybe I past the line. That one old people seem to be beyond, when they talk about how time moves so much faster now, and they can't keep up. Suddenly it feels like I can relate. I mean it's always been fast, but not like this...
03/26 Direct Link
Not like this.

Maybe it's my job that does it. Though I've studied full-time before, it never felt like the time went this quickly. There was also some time over for the tasks that waited. I always managed to catch up with the projects that lagged behind, eventually. But now this month.

I feel like I hooked onto a stream of time this year, and I'm getting dragged along, and just looking at the view and thinking "Oh, this is going pretty fast!", without even thinking that I could let go, and maybe take things at my own pace.
03/27 Direct Link
So, to end this timely trilogy of entries, let me just say that I think I found the secret. At least I thought I did. I read that time expands to fill the amount of room you give it, and for a moment that made sense, but then I realized I wasn't allowing time to take a lot of my room at all. I was trying to shrink it's room, instead, but it didn't seem to be working.

I started thinking that maybe I need to abandon a few projects. To prioritize them. But I'm not sure that's really all.
03/28 Direct Link
Like the lines I wrote ran past the trilogy of entries I intended to fill with them, the time runs further than I expect it to run. Part of it's me taking on more projects, but part of it's something else... an altered state of mind maybe. One that doesn't make full use of the time I know will pass me. One that sometimes stops, and lets time flow a bit before it jumps aboard and catches up, or does what it should be doing.

That's the kind of time I'm dealing with this year. But I'm caught up, now.
03/29 Direct Link
Two more days before this month is over, and all I can think about to write is how there's just too much more days. I measure my activities in hours and minutes, and days and weeks, and post blogs for the weekly measures, and shorter posts for the daily ones, and poems too, to effectively drain out any creative surplus I might have. Starting to feel like a bit too many obligations. Like I should drop a few. A hundred words, though, that doesn't seem like more than I can manage, right? One minute a message, and thirty per month...
03/30 Direct Link
Gather your thoughts.

When people say that, maybe they don't mean that I should collect them. Maybe they mean that I just keep them consistent. Think one thing at a time. Think it thoroughly, and clearly, and maybe then it'll make better sense.

I like to collect thoughts instead. Type out as many of them as I possible can in as many places as I possibly can, and make sure they stay there for all eternity. Then I can go back, and instead of thinking new ones I can look at the old.

Maybe... I should gather my thoughts instead.
03/31 Direct Link
I'm typing this with just one hand today. My right hand.

It's  a bit difficult, especially capitalization, but fortunately there's CAPSLOCK! AND SPELLCHECK. Don't know what I'd do without either one of those. That second part wasn't meant to be capitalized, but I just typed an entire sentence after that in uppercase by mistake, so I'll let that one slide.

The reason I'm typing all this with one hand isn't because any injury, thankfully, but simply because I need to train my left wrist a bit, and this seemed like an opportune moment. And now it's over, Phew. Done.