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February 2009
BY
Bohemian Lady
02/01
A New Moment
A new time arrives for us to make a lot of different choices. The choice to live in the moment. The choice to think of things in a new light, rather then the impossible.
Moments of life to breath in our moments of truth. And think of the time to make a difference. As humans we almost forget the power we have on the Earth and on each other.
How much positivity means in life, and how much negativity effects our very souls. And our very minds, and how we can bring change to others and such.
02/02
Wishes
As a child the concept of wishing on a star, gave so much joy to the heart. Things seemed limitless, and there was nothing that can unreachable.
Innocence made us ignorant and naive, sometimes I wish I had the childhood hope again that I can feel that innocent high hopes that things can come true, by wishing on a star.
Life then turns so complicated, and stress comes in the reality of the falling star and making wishes are no longer are appealing. That life has it's up's and downs and does not allow you those innocent moments again.
02/03
Fantasy
I have dreams, small visions of images that make no sense, but entertain my mind. I want the childhood fantasies that come with the desire to be someone great, and fighting dragon's or being a pirate at sea.
There are the adult fantasies, a career driven woman, who can stands on her own two feet. She puts so much of herself into the world, that she is not forgotten for her good deeds.
Then your hit in the face, and when you look up it's noting more the big bully called reality, pointing, laughing at you and walking away.
02/04
Thinking
Life is all about questioning your next move, sometimes I wonder if I just moved into a place on the chess board without thinking too hard, will I still be safe from the Queen.
I think in moments of confusion and decision making, we mostly don't tend to look at the long haul of our lives, just the short comings. It is true to let things be sometimes, because in all honesty we cannot control every moment of our lives.
But one might think that just taking the extra 5 seconds to decide if that decision is the best one.
02/05
Appreciation
At moments like these, on the days of celebrated life, I am pleased to say I am happy to have the family that I have. As much as they can piss me off, they bring so much joy to my heart.
As the eldest of my siblings, I have come to see them grow on only in front my eyes.
I am still young, and yet feel older. I am proud of them, but I am sad, because I don't have much control over them, and not that I ever did. But even the thought of letting them go
02/06
System
It has occurred to me more today then any other day, that we in fact live our lives on a system, and simply depend on that system without thinking, of the consequences.
If it is wrong we really do not considered the responsibility. We create things to make life easier, but once we have done that we tend to forget the basics, and wonder why we are all screwed when the functions don't work.
I think we need to look into our lives and consider that progression is good, but history is there for us to remember our basics.
02/07
Obsession
Obsession always stem from certain emotions. I find the most common to be love. Love is such a strange emotion. It has such a strong impact upon the heart, that sometimes it can get someone so caught up on it that they cannot tell the difference between right and wrong.
Our actions are justified with love, but in truth love will not leave us astray, it is other emotions are involved that recipe for love is tainted.
It's hard to think of letting go when we are not happy, or when one is hurting us because we love them.
02/08
Rambles
Today entry will be about random things in my head. I am brother and hurt and confused. Goals for artistic ambition.
Music is nice and refreshing and that could be healthy to my soul at times. I think that there are moments of weakness in anger, perhaps many.
My heart loves to hope, and wish for the best. The Lord is good and will help set you free of any burden on your heart. Think of positive and remove yourself from the negative.
Be strong and remove yourself from any pain, and be string for admitting you were wrong.
02/09
Pain
Pain a something thing that is needed to occur in order to move on from the past events. It is needed to heal.
There are moments that I have suffered within my own heart's pain. I have healed from it, but I have also been wounded from it. But it challenged me to become stronger and so make different decisions. One can only learn from our mistakes.
The biggest challenge within ourselves is to forgive ourselves in our own hearts. Forgiveness, is something that is very difficult to maintain in our lives, because it is hard to let go.
02/10
Doubt
I feel like there is no room for doubt in our life. But in some ways one should always make room for doubt. Doubt and not regret, regret will consume our lives and we will feel like we are never going to move on.
Moving on from our mistakes is important. Even more learning from it. I am one like many that is at constant battle with myself with past actions that have happen. But then I understand that they had to happen in order for me to truly learn who I am as a person and about situations.
02/11
I just don't know
I really just don't know what the deal is. I guess life is sucky and not cool. Sometimes things happen to us for a reason, be it good or bad to bring out the best and worst in us. To reflect upon ourselves things that we may not see within ourselves, so we can resolve those issues.
I think I am trying to understand life's cycle and story. But sometimes you just have to let world's cycle happen and let it takes it course. To be in control leaves no room for life expectations, trust it.
02/12
Who I am
I find it interesting that people don't think they know who I am. I think I am often misunderstood, sometimes I think I have my own guard up and when every so often I reveal a little of myself it's misunderstood.
I think I try to leave my heart open, in fact I think I leave my heart on my sleeve, I bare it to the world even when I don't want to.
It seems like keeping inside almost killed me, but letting it be show is still scaring me. Where is my balance? I've lost hope.
02/13
Thinking in Doubt
The state of thinking in doubt, is the state of thinking in regret. I think in life we are always thinking of the next step.
I wonder about the choices that I made. Choices, if done differently would I be the same person. But I probably wouldn't be, I guess. But then again I guess the true effect is to see how one changes their life due to the choices we make.
It's the changes we choose to do within the choices that we make, that transform our presence into the next life, and our present life.
02/14
Valentines Day!!!
Today is Valentine's Day, a day of showcasing our love for special people in our lives. In general, it's a day in history, when one gentleman stood up against the those who did not want him to preach the lessons of love.
Commercialized, Valentine's Day feels like it's overrated and no one seems really to care to much of it because of the over exaggerated expectations of romance.
Love is not about candy, and chocolates and roses, it about connections, unity, and caring.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." (John- I John 4:18)
02/15
Time
They say that time is healing. That time is can heal things. Because you have to back and think about the many things that have hurt you in the past and how much it has truly healed you.
With time things can heal, but sometimes things can also be forgotten. Important events in our past that can help us to change from repeating our same mistakes, but sometimes those past moments are hidden from us, because we want to hide it. We want to keep it from beginning exposed.
But the truth shall always set you free, just wait.
02/16
Goals
It has always been a purpose to me to have goals. I always need some sort of purpose in my life. I don't like getting up in the day without something to do. It's doesn't need to be a big plan, something small can be good as well.
I learned when I was younger that if you write your goals down, you have a better chance in actually accomplishing your goals. Goal seeking can make a life a little more fulfiled it's like creating that business plan for your personal life.
What is the business plan to my life?
02/17
I just don't understand
Why are emotions so damn complicated? I have always in my heart been a one minded person when it comes to the emotions of the heart...meaning crushes.
I always life to be fixated on one person and one person alone. I have always been the person going backwards when it comes to life's journey. Only now in my twenties, have I been able to find more then one person attractive.
At least I know I will the loyal girlfriend/wife. Because I ain't no Jump Off! I guess it's ok to appreciate being attracted now.
02/18
Lover of Words
Vowels linger in mouth as I describe, my connection to this earth. You and I have our affairs with the pen. Paper is only the victim of our actions.
You and I are in unison with the thoughts that are on my mind. Sometimes we are vicious with what we need to say. We always get our point across.
There is no limit to your power. We have been together for as long as I can remember. My stories, my poetry, would not be complete, if your existence was not in my life I will be incomplete.
02/19
Bullshit
It amazes me how much the media loves to drive at negative energy. Drawing down on people weakness and forgetting about our humanity.
Why do we prey on the weak. There is a difference because pity is just being sympathetic,compassion comes understanding, love and hope for change.
The media draws its stories on pity rather then compassion. And puts aside all the good that you ave done with your life, and can turn you into a monster, for your mistakes.
Many are brainwashed and easily altered to that point of view, few think for themselves. We need change.
02/20
What?
I don't know about the concept of forgiveness. I do realize that it is a very difficult thing to achieve. Many or most people don't seem to believe in it as much anymore. I guess its because we sometimes forget that we are human. As human beings its in our nature to make mistakes. But its also within us to correct those mistakes and not try to repeat out past.
When will we learn not to repeat history. In our nature but that is not true, sometimes we repeat out mistakes just to justify our sense of humanity. I personally think that is a load of bull. Makes the mistakes, reflect on it and become a new being like the catillpiller to a butterfly.
02/21
Poetry's Ambition
The subtleness of words effect the very aural of the soul's emotions. Words in harmony of rhythm and prose. Dancing beautifully in the words of the mind.
The goal of this valiant artist,is the puncture the mind of the human, and to open our hearts. Day by day Poetry seeks a page with no purpose and scars it with words of rage,love, anger,hate, wisdom, and knowledge.
We as artists are the messengers.
In hopes to give the message into those who seek answers. For they seek a way to gain their true path of redemption.
02/22
The Observation of Men
It was very interesting to me to see what men as woman are viewed like. Honestly what do you think will be achieved when you holla at my while I am walking down the street?
Be it asking me for a ride or asking for my number. And please do not stop your car and come running out of it to come after me.
Sometimes I wish guys would pull off the funny music video approach, like dancing out of a shoe store or singing behind, good ole serenade. Like a gentleman, approach with some respect.
02/23
The Observation of Women in our Society
I am tried of women being viewed as weak. Be it physically, mentally, and even spiritually.
We are NOT WEAK. Woman were created as man's mate, man's other half. We were created in a spiritual sense within a part of man, and vice versa.
The sexes have strength's and weaknesses, it's the balance that is a must. Having a weakness is a must, we have to have a weakness in order to be strong. They coincide with each other. Strength cannot only be defined in physicality. It is within our mind's and soul.
02/24
Damn
Being caught up in emotions over someone can be quite a bitch! I mean many if not all of us can some what get tied up with the emotions involved with that person.
Whither it is reciprocated or not. Letting up can be a bitch! I sometimes wish that I can let go, but it always takes time, too long in some ways I see. I think it is something that is natural, but I wish that there was a cure.
Drink tea and go on vacation and you'll be alright. Just something to make the frustration go away.
02/25
To a fellow artist
You have a light about you that light joy in everyone's heart. Sadness engulfs my heart to hear that your light will not shine through to me no more.
Your pain should have been transformed into creations of beauty, and acknowledging the strength of endurance.
I reached for you, but you did not want to take my hand. You did not want my light, but I want to share it, I want you to receive joy.
My heart will carry your remembrance, I will take some of the joy you have given me and take to other's to heal them of their pain.
Be at peace my old friend.
02/26
Listen
I have said many a time the importance of communication, and not to feel in a moment of regret. Regret can be strong,and hard.I think it can sometimes force us not to move forward and remain in the past.
I believe it is interesting when death comes into our front door, we then choose to open our hearts and minds, and realize all that we have forgotten.
We vow to remain different and make a valiant decision to keep our word, but when death lives and time enters, we go back on our word, until reminded again.
02/27
"The more we elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate." ~ J. B. Priestly~
Communication, is a word that is almost just as strong as the emotions of love and hate. Because it is the small element that is needed within both, in order of either of them to exist.
We as a society lack it in so many ways. How often do we really listen to the ones we love? There are so many distractions in the world, and communication has developed tremulously, in the sense of technology, but communication always start off with ones self, self reflection.
02/28
Understanding
The simple eye contact, the simple nod, to acknowledge someone walking by. Acknowledge their existence. How much do we really communicate? Many humans communication is more non-verbal then verbal. Because our bodies communicate messages that sometimes we don't even want to let out. Sometimes sending unintended messages .
How many of us send out text messages instead of calling the person when we have something negative to say. Like we don't even have the balls to call and really say what's on our mind, because current technology has created a new way for us to communicate better when it actually keeps us more far apart then we imagine.
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