REPORT A PROBLEM
Finally, I get to write on the correct day of the correct month! Itís been too long since Iíve had to write daily; it was a lot of fun so that's why Iím doing it now.
So itís the last week of school, and Iím totally ready for the summer. All I have to do is think about next school year and I start freaking out. It seems like itís going to be hell!
Itís been so long since Iíve felt this way; Iíve almost forgotten how to live with it. I should be able to deal with it though.
Okay so, one hundred words was being stupid and wouldn't let me write on the second and third of June so I am just filling them up. Remember that Bob from last time we spoke? We are talking a lot more now. I pretty much find him adorable. And Rylee, he is a junior just so you know, since you are like the only one that reads this. You will have to actually get on yahoo Instant Message if you want to know about him or just text me. School is almost out, thank the almighty God of the universe!
Ugh, I think Coach Hitler is crazy! We had to stay till 1 oíclock when school got out at 12:30. It wasnít that bad, but tomorrow we have open gym and its going till 1:30, and we get out at 11:45, even though there is graduation. Iím sure most of the basketball team is going. Iím going with Randi and we are meeting Bob and some other people. We played Ultimate Frisbee today. Bob was there, as always. It wasnít too fun, because some people were taking it a little too rough. Frisbee isnít supposed to be a contact sport.
Graduation was today. I saw Bob; actually I sat one seat away from him. Someone in between us. Gave him some cheese-it things. Had a pretty good time. Wish we could talk face to face. Never had much of a conversation with him in person. Looking forward to this summer. Hope we will be something. Want to see his wonderful face more often. Rylee wouldnít think he was too cute. But thatís where Rylee and I differ. If Rylee would get online sometime I would maybe show her a picture. But Rylee doesnít get online anymore. Stupid whore! Fragments yay!
We are finally out of school. Thank the Lord! But today nobody could do anything so summer greeted me with its infamous boredom. I read a whole book today. The first book in Vampire Academy series. Rylee, you should read it. You can borrow it from me. It reminds me of Vampire Knight. I think you would like some of the names too. Anyways, today has been a read all day day. I donít feel that great. Hope I donít get sick. That would pretty much suck since it would be the first day of summer. Four words left now.
Woke up at ten thirty. Didnít pay attention to the TV that was on. Want to see Bob. Talked to him on Instant Messenger today from one to four. Hope I get to see him tomorrow or Monday. At least Tuesday. Went to the park with Randi and her boyfriend. Then went to Whataburger. Got extremely bored there. Went swimming after that. Had fun I guess. It was kind of boring too. Watched a movie or tried to. Bob went skating with his family. I'm bored now. Randi went home. I need a hug from him. That's what I want.
There once was a lonely girl. She lived in the same oblivious world as everyone else, but her eyes had been opened. She sat day after day keeping to herself, trying not to let anyone know who she was. She longed to share what she loved and knew, but in reaction to her timidity, people left her alone. She wanted someone she could trust and someone who would be there with her forever. She wanted to open his eyes so he could see what she saw, so they could discuss their horrible world. He never came, he was too blind.
It's the first official Monday of school's-out summer. I stayed home all day, except for basketball practice that is. Right now my heart is just throbbing. I want to be closer to him. I want to be his. I don't even think he likes me, but I can't help seeing his adorable face and melting. I wish he would open up a little bit more because I think he is amazing but he doesn't share that much with me. I am afraid of how he feels about me because I highly doubt he likes me back. He is amazing though.
First eventful thing of the day was Ultimate Frisbee. We played with the church. It was alright I suppose. Then I had a basketball game. We lost as usual. I'm stuck on the team with the new fish, so they don't know anything. They can't run the plays, play defense, or anything. It's quite hard to win a game when your team sucks. Now Iím home. I hate home. No, that's not right. Home is fine, nice and comfortable, but it's boring. I hate boredom; it makes me think too much. At the moment I dislike myself because of it.
I'm thinking there's too much to say. Too much to write in a single day. My mind's going faster than I can pray, and there is no way I can't not stray. I need some paper, give me a pen, Iíve got to get on with this. My eyes are screwed up with the thoughts rushing past and I can't think straight enough to even tell how long it'll last. These words come pouring out of my mind so fast, do they even make sense? I canít even tell, I don't even know, I don't know, I don't even know.
Today was absolutely boring. Damn it! When I see this empty space to write, my mind just crawls back to that spot that Iíve been trying to forget. It's just that stupid fact that nothing ever works out the way I want. Nothing. Ever. That's just the simple version. Damn it! Now he won't even reply. What's so wrong with me that guys don't like me? Thereís got to be something! I just don't understand. Every single guy canít be a stupid ass. The only consistency is me. I like me, but nobody else seems to. It's pissing me off.
Did I not write for today? Ugh I could have sworn I did. I was too busy writing a story that will never get published, but instead keeps me sane. It makes me think of a perfect world and forget about this one. I love it there. I truly do. I didn't do anything today but sit and write. I must have done more. No, I didn't though, how sad. I think I read some. I woke up kind of late so there wasn't much time in the day. Its pretty late now, I must be off to bed. Bye.
My stomach hurts. I think. I'm not sure. Anyways, I went shopping today. I got two pairs of shorts, two shirts, and some pajama pants at Rue21 and some basketball shorts from wal-mart. After I woke up anyways, at 7:00am. I had to let the dogs out since they went in early. Then I ate at IHOP with my dad. I haven't really eaten since then, just some ice cream things and a few cookies. I'm sleepy now, but I have to stay up later and check on the dogs, so that I donít have to wake up early. Ugh.
Today was boring. I went to church. I came home. I went to someone's house. They have a pool. I floated on a float. I stayed there for an hour. I came home. I got ready. I went to the Dollar Tree. I got a present. I went to a birthday party. I didn't know anyone there. I knew Randi and the birthday girl. It was very boring. I came home. I watched Jeff Dunham. Randi watched Jeff Dunham. Randi went home. I am bored. I should go to bed. I have basketball at ten. Ten is earlier than normal.
Sometimes I hate being so human. I hate having the human emotions of jealousy and longing for things that arenít mine. I'm always reading or writing stories where the characters have a special attribute. They can heal, they can time travel, they can feel people's emotions, they can perform magic, theyíre super fast, whatever. Theyíre always better than average. Reading and writing (especially writing, since it has my perfect ending) keeps my mind off of the fact that I am normal. I'm not saying I want superpowers (not saying I don't), but sometimes I just wish that I wasn't myself.
Three Days Grace. My Chemical Romance. Panic! at the Disco. Incubus. Avenged Sevenfold. Oasis. The Used. Sugarcult. Rise Against. A Fire Inside. Taking Back Sunday. Death Cab for Cutie. Smile Empty Soul. Anberlin. The Killers. Papa Roach. Brand New. All-American Rejects. The Fray. Nirvana. Green Day. These are the only bands I can think of. I need more! They keep me sane. I obviously forgot to write on this day, so I figured I would just name a bunch of bands. My dad is watching stupid big foot videos, for your information. And in my opinion, he needs to stop.
Today was quite uneventful. Not as boring as yesterday but quite boring. There were some good parts, but it seems as though as soon as I see my house, I get bored. I am tired of being here. I want to be gone; I want to be outside of this horribly monotonous lifestyle. Being bored is very bad for me. I get a lot of bad ideas. Mostly I just think too much about things, which makes me sad and gloomy. But sometimes it makes me desperate, desperate for anything to get me away; desperation is not a good thing.
I just had a brilliant thought. We should make a communal 100 words account. Everyone that reads the entry would read e-mail and password they should use. People would sign in as it and write for the day. The first one to write would win. I think that would be interesting. It would be a variety of minds for one month. I wish people could leave comments on entries so that I could see how many people would want to try this, but since Rylee is probably the only one to ever read this, I doubt I will do it.
Today was actually pretty darned swell. Once I had risen from my slumber, my father and brother joined me as we feasted on Buffalo Wild Wings. Afterward, Randi accompanied my lonesome self at my humble abode and we played rock band. When it was time, we drove over to the movies, to watch Year One. It was quite horrible and not funny at all. Then we ate at a fabulous restaurant named Whataburger. Next, we played fratch (Frisbee/catch) in the park, and then went to Hastings. I have successfully downloaded Jeff Dunhamís Very Special Christmas Special. I hope itís good.
Tomorrow is Father's Day. I have to go to my grandpa's house. I am so very not excited. I am itchy. I got bit by mosquitoes a lot yesterday, and probably today. This summer has been nice so far, because I am not inside every hour of every day. Despite this summer being nice, I am unhappy. I wish I were happy though. I am ready for church camp, God can make me happy, and I will get closer to him there. As much as I try to convince myself that I don't need a guy, I still want one.
Today was father's day. Iím bored. I don't know what to write. I have no idea what to say. I don't feel like putting the effort into writing something meaningful. I just finished watching Charlie the Unicorn 3. It is one of my favorites. Narwhal! Narwhal of death! And Charlie, look out for the blehblehbleh! I watched it backwards too. It wasn't as good backwards. I love Charlie. Glub glub, glub glub. We're scuba diving, Charlie! Grab on to our tongues! Itís the choo-choo shoe! Stick a banana in your ear. Stick a ripe banana right into your favorite ear.
So guys, it looks like the end. The end of what? I have no idea. I just felt like saying that. We're all goners. I won't be seeing you again. This is the way it has to be, Iím sorry. Yeah I have no idea what Iím talking about. Oh, my dad is moving out. Just for your information Rylee. You should really get on Yahoo Instant Messenger more often, loser. I am almost done with Pendragon Seven. One more book to go, but I have to read Frankenstein first and do my summer homework shit. I am so excited
Today was pretty good. I helped with the three year olds at Vacation Bible School. That was quite interesting. There were eleven kids, and four helpers. It was pretty great. Then Randi and I tie-dyed shirts for church camp. We are going to be working on them all week pretty much. I hope they turn out good. I am bored. I want to go to sleep but I have to wait to wash the shirts. I really want to see Public Enemies with Johnny Depp in it. I plan on downloading it as soon as I get back from camp.
Today was tiring. I went to basketball, which was boring and frustrating since I couldn't make my shots. Then Randi picked me up and we went to her boyfriend's house to swim. The pool was hot but it was still fun. It tired me out though. Kevin, Randi's boyfriend, is kind of trying to set me up with his friend Zach. He was nice and funny, but Iím not sure about him. He's a senior, and looks don't matter. He's not ugly; he's just not Gerard Way smexi. Nowhere near Gerard Way, maybe personality will make up for it though.
Well its official, I'm not single. Actually I think I will wait to say if itís official once my mom says I can date him. We are going to the movies tomorrow with Randi and Kevin to see Transformers. I'm nervous. I haven't been on a date in over a year. But Iím excited for the same reason. His name is Zack Hatchel. I'm his first girlfriend. I am leaving for camp on Saturday; Iím going to be texting all through the night. I haven't felt this way since Collin, and I hope it doesn't end up the same way.
Today was not so good. I went to the movies with Zach, and I got kind of weirded out. I'm not used to going so fast (we only met Wednesday). So later I told him that I wanted us to slow down, and be friends so that he can ask me out on his own time. I feel a lot better about it now though, but still cautious. He really likes me and I hope I can return the feelings. Despite me being ďheartlessĒ, I do have a heart and would never be happy about having to purposely hurt someone.
It is 1:00am. I am leaving for camp at 9:00, so I won't be posting these next few days on their actual date. I hope that when I return it will let me in on July. I quite enjoy having to be responsible for this. Yesterday, I found out that my mom doesn't trust me. She says she does, but she apparently has an incorrect definition of trust. I should really do my laundry so that I can finish packing. I may do that soon, I am getting drowsy. I wish I could talk like they did in medieval times.
Life, as fragile as the
Vase upon the old worn shelf.
Sitting on the tattered chair,
Staring at my life
Suspended in the air,
I wonder what I've done.
Shards are floating,
Emotions leak from the core.
Into the dark and dreary room
He walks with his hand held
Out to pick me up,
To dust me off,
To dry my tears.
He reaches towards the broken glass;
The pieces move.
One by one,
Together they unite.
The process shakes my very being;
Sobs rack my soul
As my heart is mended.
My life, together, became beautiful.
I don't feel like writing pointless crap. That poem i wrote for yesterday made me kind of want to stop thinking about stuff. Banana's of the world, UNITE! Peel banana! Peel, peel banana! Peel banana! Peel, peel banana! Slice banana! Slice, slice banana! Slice banana! Slice, slice banana! Smash banana! Smash, smash banana! Smash banana! Smash, smash banana! Eat banana! Eat, eat banana! Eat banana! Eat, eat banana! Go bananas! Go, go bananas! Go bananas! GO! Damn, that only took up seventy eight words. Song we sang at camp. There's motions. Wanna see? good luck with that.
This is the same night as the last two day's posts, so i still don't want to write anything worth saying. Its almost the next day. My knee hurts. It's still bruised from a week ago. I keep hitting it with my chair. My feet just kind of do their own thing. I'm quite enjoying this word counter. I have to pee. I need to read Frankenstein. I need to get my other book too. I don't like summer homework. It is evil. Evil i tell you! EVIL!!! Narwhal. Narwhal of death! The door Charlie!
The Tip Jar