January 2011

01/01

Learning German is going to take up a lot of my time, I can tell. However, with a possible trip to Germany in the summer, it's probably worth it.
I'm not good at languages but I think if I take it steadily and learn by doing rather than using a huge page of vocab I might do better than in French. I guess time will tell.
Also, with maths exams coming up, it might be an idea to do some revision instead. Hmmm... decisions...
Well, I'll keep you up to date with how things go. But for now...
Tschuss...

01/02

January, a month with 31 days or 3100 words. Brilliant.

I've realised that recently my 100 words have become more of a diary and less creative so I'll try to add some interesting things into this month. I'm not promising anything though.

Maybe I'm running out of ideas. A horrible but quite likely answer to the constant question of what to write...

Oh well, I'll just finish today and I can think of something proper to write tomorrow. Just finish today... umm... I really don't know what to say, I blame writers block but its probably just laziness. It always is.

01/03

I sometimes wonder what life would be like if things were different. For example what would it be like if I was blind?

Honestly?

I don't think I could cope. Not after having seen what I already have. To be plunged into darkness after a world of light would be horrible. Or, perhaps, everything would go blurry or patchy. Maybe that would be worse. Almost being able to see everything.

I imagine my other senses might sharpen a little. I'd have to pay attention to them more. And I'd probably think a lot. Just sit and think.

01/04

It's weird having a job. I suddenly have some money to spend. I, so far, haven't spent much (if any), and I'm afraid that if I do I'll end up spending all of it.

Usually I'd see a sports watch <£100 and not think twice but now I'm ending up considering things. My favourites bar actually contains a folder of books etc that I'd like to buy. It's worrying. Maybe I should set myself a limit. Not that it would work.

Thinking about it, I'm also planning on spending money on trips out and birthday presents soon.

*Deletes Favourites*

01/05

I was once told that I should take up meditaating ('just a few hours a day'). They said it would help to banish all the negative thoughts I might have. Rubbish really because I already know the effects of negative thinking. I have, however, thought about meditation.

When I was younger I had a lot of time thinking quietly to myself. I travelled a lot and I'd try holding my breath in the car. The aim was to hold my breath between the times 2 cars went past. On countrylanes this was tricky. It would help me to think though.

01/06

The numbers rushed around him, smothering him. His mind was telling him that he shouldn't be able to breathe so he opened his mouth...

...and the numbers rushed in. Suicidal, ramming themselves down his throat. His mind was suddenly alerted to a change. The numbers were moving away and all that was left was an eight...

...an infinity sign he realised as the floor came up to greet his head and he looked at it sideways. The number touched his arm and started to burn into his skin, nothing he could do...

...and he woke up and it was all a dream?

01/07

He met the small child on the way back from work. He knew that the kid was special. He had his eyes closed, and legs crossed in the classic 'meditating' position.

He wanted more than anything to talk to this child.

The child's black robes blew in the wind as time passed and the light faded.

How did you begin to talk to someone like this? What could you possibly say?

It seemed rude to interupt so in the end he left. Bag as heavy as usual, he traipsed home.

And the small child opened his eyes and floated a few inches off the floor.

01/08

She went to him with a problem...
...and she got an answer. It wasn't what she wanted.

She wanted him to say 'It's all right' and to hold her until everything melted into his touch.

She wanted him to laugh out loud with his smile banishing her doubts until it became infectious and she laughed too.

She wanted him to kiss her. Eyes closed. Arms on her waist.

She wanted him to wipe away her tears and take her on a walk to nowhere, just them.

But he didn't know this.
So he answered her question and carried on without a second thought.

01/09

The final cross country was today. One race up and on our own turf, it was ours to lose. We knew we had to win, Ware joggers had turned up in larger numbers but we had some strong runners ourselves. This time there were two rivers to ford. Just over ankle-deep and with the water approaching freezing it was, how can I say it, 'refreshing'. In the end we won by a point. One place. I guess it was lucky I'd run, albeit only just into the scoring men. It was fun though. Until next time...

01/10

Me puzzles logic computers knowledge freedom law rules rulebreakers individual fashion compliments thirst hunger money economy jokes laughter friends enemies fights frights heights kites wind blowing-away fresh new nervous but-excited quiz-show answers questions more-answers more-questions thoughts ideas brain David hello hi? cheers then after before when? now won lost draw colour picture pretty-as-a flower flour cooking cake fridays maths numbers sudoku Edwin ginger nuts squirrels animals chinese-new-year Annie shoes shoes-shoes-shoes girls shops busy quiet timid kitten fur cat Anna you.

A few words that mean something and nothing.

01/11

Whenever I'm at work things always seem much important then they are. I see and hear a lot of things and I always think to myself 'I'll tell people about that later' but I never do.

I can't work out whether it's because it doesn't seem important anymore or whether I don't fancy talking about work when there's other stuff to talk about.

Maybe people wouldn't find stuff like that interesting. To be honest it's amazing what I find interesting after working for a while.

Anyway I won't tell any of you guys because you wouldn't find it interesting either.

01/12

She came to him with a problem and he smiled.

He knew that his job was to solve problems like this.

He stopped everything he was doing and settled down to find an answer.

Books, internet, friends. He felt happy that he could help.

The answer. He had the answer and he told her. He told her with a feeling inside of achievement.

And his job was done. The primeval urge to look after and help had been quenched.

He sat back and smiled and carried on with what he was doing.

She must feel so lucky to have him.

01/13

I sit and I see, I look and I know,
I understand that something is wrong.
The biggest things cease to matter to me
And the smallest things overpower my mind.

I hear time echoing inside my head,
Tick tock. Tick tock. I place my hands like a shell;
Trying to hear the sea. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.
Waves crash down my cheeks.

Sometimes I close my eyes, curl into a ball.
Clenched so tight it hurts. I can focus on the pain.
And my eyelids are mirrors, I can see into my mind.
Maybe when I open up, it will be O.K.

01/14

Other times I can’t stay still and my mind wanders
Away. Away. I must get out.
Blind, I run. No other direction but forwards,
My eyes start to hurt, but the sky masks my pain.

I follow the water running down the road,
But I can’t follow as it falls into the abyss.
I jump through puddles; this time I’m wearing trainers,
But no one cries out in objection. Not now.

My eyes stalk the lights stretching over the street
1. 2. 3. 4. I start to count these stars. My legs follow.
The changing similarity is comforting. 45. 46. 47. 48.
But when I look up, tired and wet, my eyes truly open

I realise where I am.
Home.

01/15

Clothes are much more important for girls than boys.
It's odd.
I don't think I'll ever understand fashion although me and david did have a go once.

Although clothes matter, I think it's down to the person wearing them. A cool person can wear pretty much anything and as long as its individual it's ok. But that's not the same for an uncool person.

I guess it's a 'so unfashionable it is fashionable' thing?

People just have to know that you're usually a fashionable person to understand that. Otherwise they just think you're your usual unfashionable self.

I'm probably wrong.

01/16

A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils. A watched pot never boils.

01/17

I've been very far behind this month and I'm leaving in less than 20 mins so I'm trying to finish the last 400 words that I'm stuck on. For that reason this and, you'll probably notice the other ones, are very rushed and contain absolutely nothing of interest to anyone.

I do hoipe however there are some words of interest in here. Reading back to the beginning of the month, it all seems such a long long time ago. It's odd how quickly time flies. Well sorry for a wasted 100 words but you get what you pay for. Cheapskate.

01/18

Programming. Again. This time using Tkinter, producing a GUI (graphical user interface) or, at least, trying to, in order to create a game. A slight success I would think but still quite a way off creating my game. I've talked with my teacher and decided on a way to reduce the amount of programming needed but it will undoubtedly produce the need of some harder stuff.
Once finished I need to let people try and break it. I have to get people to click, type or whatever in order to get an error message or simply crash the computer. Fun.

01/19

Little children are annoying. They do things that make you want to walk away before you do something you know you'd (probably) regret.

Things such as:
talking incessantly, swinging around and around on office chairs, speaking in a high pitched voice, collecting junk and then becoming attatched to it in an insanely unnatural way, having a large selection of cuddly toys, having to be right (especially when they are wrong) and using horribly incorrect logic that you can't find the flaws in.

It's weirrd I know, especially since I personally am known for all of the above.

01/20

Anger.

Anger and a sense of injustice.

This was it, he saw her on the other side of the room.
He pushed passed people, uncaring of the looks and words thrown at him. They didn't affect him. His mind was focused.

Unblinking he made it to the otherside of the room. He was going to tell her. EVERYTHING. She would know what he thought and she would feel so bad about everything. This was her fault and she would pay.

Her back was turned and as he approached she drifted round to face him...

... he saw her eyes.
He hugged her.

01/21

2011 is going to be a good year I hope. I'm really looking forward to the summer. Some time to myself or to share with others. AS levels over and hopefully a maths A level. Time to learn another computing language and to sleep and sleep and sleep. Summery clothes. T-shirts that let me feel free. Not weighted down by hoodies. Or a school bag for that matter. Walking to and from Annas via the way we only walk together in the summer. Past the shops to buy ingredients to cook biscuits and cakes. OM NOM NOM NOM.

01/22

When writing coursework it can take me hours to do 100 words. When it's less structured like this and isn't going to be marked I can go at probably less than 2 minutes at a stretch. It's so much easier to write this though because it's rubbish. Nothing worth reading. No thought or effort has gone into its creation because I only have the time it takes to write the first word to think of the second. It means that I end up writing words that onlymake sense to me. I like that though. I like things that I can understand.

01/23

So yes, it's actually February and I did get very behind in January but now I've spent all morning cstching up rather than doing my homework. I hope you're happy...

It's a slight obcessive, competitive stubborness I have that dictates that if I'm going to do something it's going to be finished no matter what. It's nice when I'm running because the first part of the run is run on food and energy and the second part is solely run on willpower and determination.
I like doing sprint finishes, picking of stragglers. I fear however that I may have competition soon...

01/24

My mind is blank and I have no idea what I'm going to write but I have to write something so I'm just continually typing away at my keyboard but I have no idea where this is going at all however I do know that this is possibly one of the longest sentences ever written and could really do with some sort of punctuation, maybe a few commas, and could undoubtedly do with a lovely full stop right at the end to tell you all that its all over and that you can stop reading all of this absolute nonsense.

01/25

So, my left big toe still aches. My right foot has gone funny and I think I've pulled a muscle. My elbows have dried up and nothing seems to help. I also managed to laugh so much that I couldn't breathe and my head ached and my stomach hurt.

THEREFORE,

I would like to spend this time apologising to my body.

I'm sorry for never eating breakfast, except at the weekend when it's so close to lunch that it's basically a bigger lunch.
Sorry for making you run every week.
And sorry for laughing at stupid things all the time.

Live with it...

01/26

Parents Evening. Basically very good. All teachers said everything was fine apart from one who wanted me to 'hit the wall' so that I could get help before I went to uni and would find it harder. The answer of course would be to give me harder work but, as it turned out, she thought a new seating plan would work.
In short, it didn't.
I've had physics practicals all week, which, to everyone's surprise, have been working. I'll have to write it all up next week though which I'm not looking forward to. It'll be February by then.

01/27

Explorers today. We made animals out of cardboard for the chinese new year. Some were better then others and I think ours was probably in the better half of them (I should point out that this had nothing to do with me, my artistic skills are less then non-existant). It waas nice to actually talk to some of the people in my group because the groups weren't friendship based so they were people I never really talked to.
HOWEVER, at the end when someone from each group had to talk about the animal... they all looked at me...

01/28

There's a lot of things I need to sort out. I really need to learn to drive this year for starters. I keep putting it off with the excuse that I'm too busy but really it's only going to get busier from now on so the sooner I start the better.

I also need to sort out university. There are open days happening that I'm going to have to sort out. Then I've got to decide what I want to study and fill in forms and generally spend some time sorting it.

I guess the sooner I start the better.

01/29

I got up at 12.15 today and then was told I looked tired...
I finally got my computer program to work (some of it) after programming all afternoon. The program is still quite messy and missing bits though.
I also did some maths homework, which was pretty dull, it was repetitive and not particularly hard. I still have some to do though so there's still hope.
I can't believe it's almost February. A month that demands fewer 100 words... pretty good considering how far behind I have been this month...
You can probably tell from the randomness of today.

01/30

So today I got up at 9 and went running. Weird or what?

I wouldn't say I feel better for doing so. I feel tired and hungry and smelly, but that can be cured by a shower and breakfast. Although, to be fair, it is now lunch time. Either way I need to eat something.

I have homework to finish too but I am an expert at putting things off. Murray is currently losing at tennis and the cricket score isn't looking good either. Oh well. As a good friend once told me when queueing, 'People like to complain'.

01/31

He looked down at her and once again remembered her beauty. In the rush of life he realised how little you truly looked at people. Your brain remembered enough to recognise people, but not enough to remember exactly what they looked like.

So he watched her, with her hair spread out like a fan behind her head as she slept. Like a halo.
Her eyes opened and the flash of green shocked him.
She smiled, closing her eyes again.

It reminded him of a cat. She seemed to know so much more than him but he couldn't see how.

Beautiful.