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BY Parul

05/01 Direct Link

Everything in this life is temporary. Change is the only constant in life, as is famously said.
And yet, we tend to deal with every event of life - small or otherwise, with such permanence that it seems nothing else existed before it and nothing will ever exist after it.
The most amazing part is that even as we deal with life as though it's a mythical statuette existing unchanged and unmoved since eternity, we, as we know ourselves, keep changing without any cognizance of the changes!
Tiny pearls of wisdom keep shedding the cobwebs of ignorance all the time...

05/02 Direct Link
A car applying brakes suddenly... honking followed by car doors slamming... voices, angry... shouting... more honking... car doors slamming, silence again… But this was all imagination...

 I was sitting by the window of my apartment on the 12th floor. Everything seemed to fall in a pattern from up here. Everything was quiet and serene.

 I wish life was like this too. Sequenced and defined... falling in a pattern. I wish it was as smooth and unquestioning as things seemed from up here. But I think as humans, we are bound to ask questions and seek answers. And wish the contrary!
J
05/03 Direct Link
If you know you are wrong, would you still go ahead and do it?
Do a hundred right things make up for a wrong you're doing knowingly?
"It's always easier to break ties and so difficult to maintain them".
Is it really?
The ties that I have broken have cost me heavily. It has been worse than keeping them going.
Can you see a once close friend everyday and yet pretend you are not thinking about her. Can you stay on without talking or looking in the eye?

I broke a beautiful glass palace, and it hurts all the time. 
05/04 Direct Link

"I am right".
"I am not wrong either".
"One of us has to understand and change, and since I know I am right, it won't be me"
"Wow! That's convenient!" And a smile broke on my face.
She was still fuming with anger and the humor didn't touch her.
Seeing no counterargument coming her way, she eased a bit and smiled slightly.
"You know it is not right for you, don't you?", she said softly. "Why do you psych me like this?"
"It's cute, the way you try to convince, that's why", I said smiling indulgently.
Peace at last...

 
05/05 Direct Link
Is competition a good thing?
Is it good to burn all your life to excel and get an inch ahead in the mad race?
And it comes so naturally to most of the people! At the slightest of pretexts we start comparing and showing off and belittling and feeling belittled.
It could be something as natural and beyond control as height, or as man made and temporary as bank balance!
Do we really need to elbow out and shine the brightest?

Can we not stop, close our eyes and enjoy the sunshine?
Can we not just live?
  
 
05/06 Direct Link
She had changed and how!
I knew her from the school days. But now I think, did I know her really?
She was a shy, reserved girl - intelligent but avoided conversations and camaraderie in general. We were friends back then. In fact, I was one of the few she had. She intrigued me. Over time, I realized behind her quietness lied a deep tranquil ocean of wisdom and understanding.
And as I sat across her today in the coffee shop, I saw how she ad evolved and become the beautiful person that was nurturing inside her all this while.
05/07 Direct Link
And that's how she left me.
Went without a word of explanation. Just said she could not stay on like this anymore.
And I was left wondering, like how?
Agreed, I had been busy with work of late, and couldn't find time for her. But I had always tried to give her the best I could... in terms of time and whatever I could afford.
What was the last straw? I keep wondering, but can never  know for sure. She is a great woman, but am I so bad really?
Love hurts and how! 
  
 

 
05/08 Direct Link

"Do I speak a lot?" She asked me guiltily. While I had been enduring most of the conversation, being an aloof being myself, I didn't have the heart answer her in the affirmative. I got a tad conscious thinking my lack of interest in the conversation must have really shown. Hence the question.
Rather than answering, I just questioned vaguely "Why would you ask that?" 
"I just feel so. I feel I empty one's brains talking".

Guilt driven, I looked away from my work focusing on her... only to see her leaving my room, chatting away on the phone.


05/09 Direct Link

The old lady smiled and left. I was left with the question still resonating in my head.
"Are you a good man?" she had asked me.
I didn't know how to answer, I stammered "I guess" and she just smiled and left.
 
Was I a good man?
There could be so many corollaries of the same question...
Was I a good son? A good husband? A good father? A good citizen of my city? A good national of my country in general? 
Was I a good soul?

I didn't know for sure, but at least I try. Perhaps that counts...

05/10 Direct Link

I have wronged, and I have been wronged.
I have hurt, and I have been hurt.
I have lied, and I have been lied to.
I have cried, and I have made others cry.
I have mocked, and I have been mocked at.
I have left friends, and I have been left behind by friends.
I have hated, and I have been hated.
I have spurned lovers, and I have been spurned by lovers.
I have misbehaved, and I have been misbehaved with.
I have not valued, and I have not been valued.

I let go and I lived on…

05/11 Direct Link
Why do I care for people? And why does any of us?
Agreed man is a social animal. In fact the only social animal around here, which makes it impossible for us to get any pointers on how to go about things between us by looking at any other species around.

Social or societal, how far should one go for conforming with the majority? And does it really matter at the end of the day? I know people who would answer this question both ways. As for me, I keep swaying between a yes and a no in different situations.
05/12 Direct Link
Is it right to be judgmental? One would never know the other person's circumstances in totality. And also, one can never be sure of the other person's psychology. And yet, we judge, and correct and improve.

I am amazed to see how people get all defensive and explanatory for their own doings. Everything they did or said had a valid reason. I wonder where this generous reasoning disappears when one becomes an observer of the world.

Is it missing compassion that makes us act this way? Or is it an almost narcissistic self righteousness?
I find it hard to answer.
05/13 Direct Link

She stood at the park entrance, clinging on to her doll, head bowed, eyes askance. She missed her old neighborhood. Everyone knew her there. Here, she was new - unnoticed by the multitude of same aged kids swarming the park. She came out to clear her heart of the sadness that had crept inside. But she was feeling lonelier with every passing moment. Unable to bear the pain, she turned to go home.

“Lovely doll! Are you new here?”

“Her name is Sarah… hi..” ,she said with a sunny smile. “I moved in yesterday."

And they chatted through the evening.
 
05/14 Direct Link

I walked into the room, looked at her and looked away.
She was engaged in an engaging conversation with a group of people near the entrance of the room. She had noticed me, though she chose to ignore. I could sense it from the slight fading of the smile on her face for a fraction of a second.
She's my best friend. Rather, she used to be... until yesterday.
Yesterday, I gave her a piece of my mind... made her aware of some unpleasant facts, thinking it was in her best interests.
She found it easier to snap the ties.

05/15 Direct Link

"Weekend Getaways"... 

I find it strangely amusing when I come across this phrase in random advertisements in the newspapers, magazines or on the web.
Why is daily routine so dull and well, routine that one tries to get away to take a break?

 I have seen so many motivational gurus and self help books talk about following your heart when it comes to choosing a profession as you spend most of your life pursuing it.


I guess, whatever one does - passionately or otherwise, sooner or later, falls in the trap of routine and one has to just "getaway" episodically!

05/16 Direct Link

I was in the park I used to play in when I was a kid. My childhood friends were also there. I was playing with marbles and a ball. I was laughing my childhood laugh, free and careless. I was shouting at my friends for not showing up for so many years. I was hugging them and crying and dancing and fighting. We kept talking. There was music playing somewhere. I made friends with a guy I had fought bitterly back then. And soon it was time to go.

I woke up with the music still playing in my head.

05/17 Direct Link

Memories 

came gushing into my head, as the song unfolded. Every note spoke to me of the past long forgotten.
 
 
Sometimes, one forgets after putting in great efforts. But after years of peripheral tranquility, memories come storming into your conscience as if it was only yesterday.
And you are left wondering if it was really the same 'you' who sits and mulls over the yesterdays that was the focal point of all those events gone by.

 


Was it the same ME in flesh and blood who was present there, talking to that person, laughing with that person... Was it me?

05/18 Direct Link

I came across a very interesting word today. 

 Morton's Fork

It is a noun meaning - A situation involving choice between two equally undesirable outcomes.
 

How often do we have to make such choices. To choose lesser of the two evils. To make an uncertain move, just to get out of the current circumstances. A choice between the devil and the deep blue see or between the rock and a hard place.


I feel trapped at times, and then I think it's all my making... the circumstances, the choices, their outcome and most interestingly, even the fear of the outcomes!

05/19 Direct Link

Religion is a personal matter.
 
I think it has become fashionable to say something on the above lines.
Having said that, I’d like to affirm that religion is indeed a matter of personal choice and discretion.


What drives me up the wall is that a lot of people, and I am not talking about fundamentalists here, wear their religious sentiments right up their sleeves, giving away discourses of right and wrong at the drop of a hat, but claim that it's a personal matter just when someone tries to reason them out.

Tall talks on such frail foundations... What sham!

05/20 Direct Link

It is simply beyond words to express how it feels to have one's life changed overnight... over a few couple of hours to be precise...
 
Much as we might crib about our current circumstances, but when they change, it always leaves us groping to the last of what’s going away.

 A new journey ensues, albeit before schedule…

 
May be it was meant to be this way, perhaps I had been more sincere with my discomfort with my current circumstances than I realized...!
 
Every day is a new day, to be lived with complete cognizance of its uniqueness. A lesson learnt!

05/21 Direct Link

My life is the biggest statement I'd ever make.
Then I could while it away in booze and drugs, or I could burn it in the agony of a lost love, or I could let is slip away in envy and mistrust.


We are a product of our environment. But more importantly, we are a product of our understanding of our environment.


Life is so full of opportunities, unexplored and unheard of, that it's a tragedy that it's so short. But the most beautiful thing about life is that we get to play so many roles in a single lifetime!

05/22 Direct Link

Music is so divine!
No matter what genre or mood or temperament people have, music is never "hated" by anyone. Of course, there are choices in music, and people confirm with different genres of music at different times depending upon the mood of the hour.
Music transcends boundaries and languages. It is over and above the most serious disputes. It is unbelievable how it touches our lives in its unique, irreplaceable special way!
There are multiple studies done to understand the impact of music on animals and also on unborn babies. The outcome, needless to say, has been very favorable.

05/23 Direct Link

Should I talk? Or shouldn't I?

The thing is... we fought.. and I being me, stopped talking... even on being approached to talk, I didn't talk... And no, I am not five years old!

The other thing is... that she, my close confidante in office until recently, is facing a crisis I managed to avoid by acting well in time. Nothing major that she won't be able to get out… a crisis nonetheless…
 
If I talk now, it might seem to be an obnoxious and sadistic gesture on my part. And if I don't... guilt pangs hurt all the time! 

05/24 Direct Link

Anger is an interesting feeling... from a removed observer's perspective of course.

If I look at myself from the eyes of a removed, uninterested being, I feel I am such a sorry victim of this tempestuous, demonic surge of madness.

Anger is blinding, and I can vouch for its destructive powers having destroyed quite a few beautiful setups myself.

I have been on the other extreme too, where I chose not feel the pain that would rouse me to those demonic levels, but I felt depressed and weak.
 
One needs to learn to modulate one's anger as the situation demands.

05/25 Direct Link

"Oh C'mon! Which of these men sitting here look like they want to rescue a damsel in distress? Get real guys! All that is passé ..."

And she went on in her careless way, gliding over topics, naming known people recklessly for not so good reasons to prove a point or two.

I liked her spirit... liberated. But there was little else to that I agreed with. Some of her comments and repartees were atrociously funny, and I have rarely seen females risking self mockery, however casual.

But you can’t trash other people just because you choose a different path...

05/26 Direct Link

Prolonged inactivity is very dangerous.
 
Not only does it give your brains a lot of time to process and churn out lame, pessimistic thoughts, but it also renders you totally immobile for a good amount of time...

While it is easy to say one should try not getting into this sort of a passive state, it is not easy to not fall prey to one. And more often than not, the reasons for such aberrations are purely circumstantial. 

All the while you’re cribbing about the unfairness of it all; the passivity slowly creeps into your system and leaves you good-for-little-else.

05/27 Direct Link

It is so amazing to know how capable we as healthy human beings are!
We are sharp and amazingly intelligent.

We have pioneered in so many different spheres of life, and made our world a better place to live.

But the most humbling of all the great works that people have done for mankind is devising and professing the various ways of staying healthy and fit and also controlling one's mind.
Be it Yoga or kick boxing or any other form energy channelization, there's tremendous possibility for self realization.

Human intelligence is a matter of great pride!

Long live mankind!

05/28 Direct Link

I am a sucker for memories.
Even the lamest of discussion with people would seem like an event worth cherishing when I know it is about to get over.

But I guess that's how memories are made.
Of plain, regular routine things...  perfectly forgettable lunches, uneventful hobnobs... incessant meaningless chit chat..

To say things would never be the same again is appropriate for most of the changes that happen in life. But another way of looking at it can be that things keep changing with every turn in life only to add on to the existing set of one's memories.

05/29 Direct Link

How many experts do you need to advice you?
From the looks of it, anyone and everyone you come across.
 
How many experts for a given subject do you think you know?
Again from the looks of it, anyone and everyone you come across.

It is amazing how people are so ever ready to give and receive advice around us! And philosophy happens to be the most favorite subject of everyone I come across (including yours truly of course)! It comes so handy, everyone has one of his/her own.

I guess humans always seek greater meaning in life and rightly!

05/30 Direct Link

Depends...

I am what I am... but I can be better or worse depending upon how you are with me.

I like what I like... but I can accept or reject things depending upon how they suit me.

I act like I act... but I can get real or fake it all the way depending upon how true the truth is.
 
I do what I do... but I can do more or less depending upon how I how much things interest me.

I think what I think… but I can get rigid or accommodating depending upon what the idea is.

05/31 Direct Link

The last entry of this batch! And I am glad I am completing it.
 
When I came across the idea of religiously writing 100 words a day everyday, I was excited!  100 words are too less to express, and while they are less, it is a refreshing challenge to express accurately in the limited premises.

When I started off (this being my first batch), I was so obsessed by the whole idea, that every event was worth pouring here! But I tried to keep my lousy emotions in check as much as I could.

Cheers to the amazing concept! :)