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08/01 Direct Link

I was proud of myself for finishing July’s 3100 words, but I was only one day late when I caught up and entered an entire month in what – a week? Just writing for the sake of writing, my words pouring forth into little techie box to see what might come to exist. I write to create, to be creative, to write, to create fictional worlds in which to spend time in my head when my physical being is stuck in a reality which lacks imaginative stimulation. To return to my fictional worlds. If it were truly important, I’d make time…

08/02 Direct Link

I know of two people who have refused to find out the gender of their babies – ‘because it’s the last great mystery’. Um, no.  Modern science has solved that mystery. You don’t have to wonder. You can know ahead of time. Really. “Then it’s not as big a deal when the baby is born.” Yes, it is – IF you don’t tell us the baby’s name in advance. The parents who give their unborn children nicknames in utero are more creative.

 Don’t want gifts of entirely one gender-specified color? Then say so… “We’re having a girl! She has enough pink already…”

08/03 Direct Link

This is how I knew it was a dream: I wasn’t worried about mold/ mildew.

 

The bathroom floor was covered in piles of my sisters’ wet clothes. I was disgusted at the mess. The screen was in the tub. I noticed the firemen outside the window in the front yard, over-dressed in full fire regalia to check the hydrants. The stupid cat had – of course – gotten out through the open window. As soon as I had replaced the screen, he was there, on the other side, waiting for me to remove the screen to return the way he had exited.  

08/04 Direct Link

A day at the zoo: There is so much less pressure to visit every exhibit in the zoo when you have a membership and can come back at any time. This is especially true when visiting with little kids. They weren’t even my kids – because I have none – but yet I was involved in the negotiations to get them to move on to another exhibit. As it turned out, we had two picnics, and saw the penguins, polar bears, and the polar bear fountain with the ducks. Fortunately, the niece didn’t care about the zoo. Then we swam at J’s.

08/05 Direct Link

Inmate Poetry

Fortunately, the dream skipped the beginning – getting them to trust me, getting them to write. They had bought into the Poetry for Prisoners program and were writing away, filling notebook after notebook. The prison was co-ed – this is how I knew it was a dream.

One woman had trouble with limericks. She liked using the aabba format, but they weren’t funny and read them aloud as 12534. Her poems made more sense that way, but they were written on paper in the correct format. Then they created poetry posters and laminated them on a machine they had built.

08/06 Direct Link

So I got out of bed this morning because I realized that I need to redesign the book, create the writing retreat flyer, and change Ben’s career. He needs a middle management job in an advertising firm. He is being granted a furlough – due to the economy and all… when his supervising manager – some nice guy with a vague title – tells him to take a break. Everyone needs to. He asks Ben to account for his last week or so, and Ben realizes that he has done nothing that is essential to the functionality of the company. Looking for Words!

08/07 Direct Link

Harry Potter

One of the most fun things I’ve ever done was host the HP6 sleepover. Many of us met at a local Borders, and then I had five adults spend the night at my house – so we all read the book together. The last person went to bed at 4 a.m. The first person was up at 9. I had breakfast foods and lunch foods ready to go. Someone would laugh. Someone would ask, “What?” Someone would say, “Page 238.” And so it continued, until the last person got to page 238 and read it aloud; we all laughed.

08/08 Direct Link

Road Trip

 

We’re now on the 3rd annual road trip w/ J & the kids. The first year there was only one kid; now there are two. Now they’re both walking. We’re staying in the lower level of someone’s house in a nice PA neighborhood. There is a beautiful backyard with tiki bar, in-ground pool, and firepit. The day trips are all kid-centered, but we like us enough to feed the kids peanut butter and jelly or chicken nuggets and get Cheesecake Factory to go. So it was 20 minutes out of the way. We can’t get it at home.

08/09 Direct Link

These are the things that I wish you understood:

why my friends are so important

why I must travel without you

how much I need you to travel without me

why I work so hard to separate my personal life and professional life

how I need alone time

ow much I need to read to shut off my head at night

how much I need to write

how much I need other creative ventures

how much I miss grad school

how you can’t miss me if I don’t go away;

and none of it means I love you any less.

08/10 Direct Link

I will always hold dear in my heart a certain number of fonts. Palatino, for being the first font I learned; Book Jacket Italic, the senior year yearbook, nightmare that it was; Calisto, the last name of my fictional husband, before I ever wanted one or knew mine; Alpha Dance for its place in that NaNoWriMo novel; Cataclysmic and Dream of Me for their place in the Creative Inklings logo; Eager Naturalist and EraserDust are just cool; Floydian, for Lori Kaye; Treefrog and Marydale, for the best year of yearbook advising ever; and Nina’s Animals in the kids’ coloring books.

08/11 Direct Link

I fear exploratory surgery. After four, maybe five rounds of antibiotics, more if you count ones I took for sinus infections in the meantime, nothing helps. I’m tired of doctor’s appointments. I’m disappointed in my shrinking insurance coverage. I’m tired of doctors knowing nothing despite excruciating amounts of time and money spent in medical school. I’m tired of throwing antibiotics at a mysterious problem. Then I think of people with diagnosed diseases and how much worse off they are. At least they have a name for their troubles. I have several names, few I’d use in front of my mother.

 

08/12 Direct Link

She spent her free time lying in bed, randomly perusing the internet, her favorites and her delicious list. She stayed in bed because that’s where the air conditioning was, because she was content to stay in pajamas all day, because she needed nothing in the rest of the building. While it kept her from devouring the junk food in the kitchen, she could hardly call it a diet plan. She stayed close to her cell and home phones, lest she miss a call. She needed to be needed. Was it her worst flaw? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

08/13 Direct Link

She’s coming home! After her life has been put on hold for two years, the government has finally seen the light and allowed her to return to it. She’s been gone for four years… she’s been busy for two or three of them – enrolling in O-levels, passing tests with flying colors, enrolling in A-level classes, passing tests with flying colors, worrying about college, worrying about her future, worrying about life. They have a grueling travel route through four countries in thirty-six hours, barring delays. Four more days… and the new version of the life she wanted will be all hers.

08/14 Direct Link

I have just completed the Vancouver, Alaska cruise, Denali National Park trip album for this year, six weeks after being home. It’s been a crazy six weeks, and most too hot to sit in the office, printing pictures. So now I “wasted” a beautiful summer day, inside, at my computer and printer. It’s not a waste if it’s something that I wanted to do… So, now I have crossed off not only one, but two more things from my list of 34 items in 3 categorized lists from a weekend in July, and found out that I can’t complete two.

08/15 Direct Link

List of stuff for Tuesday:

dr. appt. emuse – Hamilton writers storycreate budgets for 2011 camps

 

NCTE grant money researchPR packet – finish collages?list of professional resourceslist of mentor texts usedlist of PD offered before/after camplist of PD benefits during campnarrative of Inklings – article? organize folder – eliminate duplicates – back up on cddigital addresses for PR packet items – post to Google groupsfinish inklings inspired-by poems – ask for helpwork on novel – rewrite mmc’s career & elimination from said career
08/16 Direct Link

I don’t understand people who intentionally make other people’s lives more difficult. Do people not have enough troubles that others feel the need to complicate things? Do people do this in order to exude some sort of power over others? This is the corporate/business form of bullying. She can’t steal my cookies from my lunch box or trip me in the hallway, so she has to pull these acts of It’s-not-my-job. She sits in her perfectly climate controlled office, with job protection in the form of nepotism, creating problems for others, not doing her job but talking about her dog.  

08/17 Direct Link

Diving in

Room to Write

 

lie

These are the lies that I told you

I love to lie in a hammock with a good book

I love to lie on a couch, on my bed, in an airplane, on a train, with a good book

I love the white lies that keep people’s feelings from being hurt

I hate the fact that I haven’t yet memorized the proper conjugation of lie/lay/lying – but there is no mistake that lied means an untruth. a variation on the truth, a sin of omission, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

08/18 Direct Link

Memory is Imagination

I remember the day the dolphins swam next to our boat, and I jumped overboard and swam with them.

I remember the day I hitchhiked on the belly of the dolphin – a trained animal in a contained portion of that same ocean.

I remember the campfires and smores, freedom to ride our bikes to the candy store.

I remember when you said you didn’t want me to go.

I remember all four times you asked me to marry you.

I remember realizing that I no longer have to worry about having enough money to pay for groceries.

08/19 Direct Link

“I will not take these things for granted…”

gallons of milk

eggs in cartons

books at bookstores – bound, not photocopied and sewn

electricity

air conditioning

the changing of seasons

the ability to drive

owning my own car

owning my own house

living free from government restrictions imposed upon immigrants

a college education

student loans – all paid off

regular paycheck

not having to consult my parents for all of my decisions

phone service

the ability to hire people to fix my house

domestic travel

international travel

driving across the Canadian border

camping

s’mores

wine

music – cds - mp3s – my iPod Nano

08/20 Direct Link

On August 1, 1981, I rang the doorbell at a friend’s house. I hadn’t seem him in a few years and was really looking forward to this visit. The fact that I was 10 and had been completely in love with him for six years had little to do with it. He opened the door, grabbed my hand, and said, “Hurry up! MTV is about to start!” I had no clue what he was talking about. I was 10. I had been living out of the country for two years, and I was pop-culture ignorant. Video Killed the Radio Star

08/21 Direct Link

was the first song they played. It got stuck in my head for years, except that I sang, “Video killed the radio store.”  It drove my family nuts. The next video was Pat Benatar. I have now seen her in concert more times than I can count: Houston, Lansing, Detroit, Auburn Hills, Flint. Tomorrow (today) I will meet her in person at the signing of her book, “Between a Heart and a Rock Place.” I have my question ready for her. But someday that will be me on a book tour, but not my autobiography of my hard rock career.

08/22 Direct Link

I don’t remember being an only child.

I don’t remember learning to read.

I don’t remember when I realized I had ADD.

I don’t remember when I developed OCD.

I don’t remember ever being so homesick.

I don’t remember ever feeling so out of place.

I don’t remember making reservations at the airport Days Inn when I should have been on an island.

I don’t remember realizing that my sister was one of my best friends.

I don’t remember realizing that I am responsible for my happiness.

I don’t remember ever feeling like the most confident girl in the room.

08/23 Direct Link

Corey needs a second job, but I’m not sure why. I suspect that he took this job during college summers, and it didn’t occur to him to quit when he got his software engineering job after graduation. He works at an outdoor concert venue, working the camera that project the artists on the big-screen TVs – LCD – not even LED and definitely not HD. LED and HD couldn’t handle the cold – staying outdoors all the time. It drives him nuts. The technology is there – they should use it. Techie guys don’t handle low-tech very well, not even for reasons of nostalgia.

08/24 Direct Link

Ben needs a new career, as well. He’s going to be some sort of vague senior-management HR sort of guy in advertising. He’s going to become obsolete, company downsizing and all. Despite his high level of management, the higher ups have realized that they can exist with fewer HR people in the firm. They need only one. Ben thinks his job is necessary – he’s at it every day, and working hard all day. But he never works late. He never has to reschedule a vacation due to work deadlines. He is given two weeks’ notice. Or is he completely blind-sided?

08/25 Direct Link

I am mostly in complete denial that I have to start work again a week from yesterday. I have done nothing. I have read none of the professional literature on my list. I have barely organized the boxes of mentor texts that I ordered. I haven’t gone in to set up my corner of the world, hang new bulletin boards and unpack boxes on shelves. I’m so glad that I numbered my boxes to make sure I have them all. I really should go in the dungeon and see what stuff was brought over for me. I dread sharing rooms.

08/26 Direct Link

Through the magic of technology, I am able to cheat. I wrote the entry for the 25th on the 24th… and saved it in the word document where I save all of my entries, should anything happen to the website. If it should crash, I have my writing. I am very protective of my words. I don’t give away words without keeping a copy. I never tear pages from my journals – only from my notebooks. And even though I probably should, I never throw away my journals. I even have them on one of the bottom shelves of my bookshelf.

08/27 Direct Link

If this is my writing entry for today, then it is my writing entry for today, no matter where I put it. Last night, I dreamed of NaNoWriMo merchandise on sale in a hotel boutique. T-shirts, sweaters, and watches. I took two t-shirts to lunch with me, and the mystery children thought they were gifts and took them. I had to go back and find Chris Baty and pay for t-shirts that I didn’t have so that I could ask to see the watches again. I spent several hundred dollars on NaNo merchandise. I want OLL to expand beyond t-shirts.

08/28 Direct Link

little things

I have always had a thing for little things. It’s almost a wonder that I don’t have a collection of miniatures. One summer, I collected dimes. I kept them in a pink plastic container after I’d eaten all of the cinnamon candies. Dimes will sometimes smell like cinnamon. When I travel, I pick up little things to give away to people when I return. Two of my favorites have come from Alaska – billikins and totem coins. I’m also quite fond of the Ty Beanie Babies – for their soft fur and the fact that someone assigns birthdays to them.

08/29 Direct Link

Games

These are the games that I played…

I’m not proud, but I admit that I only pretended to care when you talked about your work, your family, your friends, or your commute. It was all a game to see if you could catch me not really listening, not really caring.

When we sat and played cards for hours on end, it was really only a way to pass the time so that we wouldn’t have to talk, so I wouldn’t have to struggle in an attempt to carry on conversation or at least an interesting monologue. It worked every time.

08/30 Direct Link

Discipline–or lack thereof

I cannot write without imposed self-discipline. I have written more this summer than any other, thanks to 100words. I have written novels: five complete, one attempted, thanks to National Novel Writing Month. I have written partial stories, chapters during EMWP. I have attempted to revise one of my novels, thanks to retreat weekends. I just can’t do it on my own. Yet I can sit and play solitaire, Mahjong tiles, or read and write email for hours on end. I can read for hours. But I cannot write. I wish I could make that mental shift
08/31 Direct Link

People are suspicious of others who admit to not care for children and animals. There are animal-people, and there are children-people, and I am neither of those. I have technically been a cat-owner since 2004, yet I spent many of those first years saying that I was only their foster owner. Left to my own devices, I would not choose to own pets. I don’t like being restricted by someone else’s schedule and needs. I don’t want and won’t have my own children. I love to borrow other people’s – to play with and return, so I can regain my freedom.