10/01 Direct Link
I started this account today, after I heard some friends discussing it.  Today being the tenth (not the 1st, as I am writing it for, I have 10 x 100 = 1000 words to write.  Obviously, I also have exactly that many words worth of art evaluation to do today as well, but evaluations just don't have the novelty factor.  Evaluations mean looking over all that work you thought you'd got out of the way.  I don't have it too bad, though - apparently one of my friends started her entries on the 30th of the month.
10/02 Direct Link

Surprised you may be, but I've never attempted a diary.  I just know it wouldn't last for more than a couple of days.  So I'll be surprised if this lasts, to be frank.  As a general rule, I'm not interested in writing for other people's sake, you may start to find my entries uninteresting.

I guess I'll have code names for people, or maybe just use thier initials.

P.S.  Yesterday (actually it was 5 minutes ago), I got 100 words first time, without having to edit anything!

P.P.S.  Who's Frank?

10/03 Direct Link
Just thinking back to last night.

Someone said something about time differences, about moving schools, countries... about missing people...

Was I just tired, is that why it upset me than it should have done?  I know from experience that I crumble easily when I need sleep.

Unobtusively ducking out of the circle until the topic changed, and was able to deal with my thoughts serenely. 

I'm trying to think of any reasons for it that I could put into writing.  There are many, but I have too few words left.
10/04 Direct Link
A weekly resolution.  Always the same one.  Half way through each week, I always give up.  But now, this time, it's the last straw.  I've set better goals, I've learnt my lessons, I know what to do and how to do it.  I won't fail myself this time.

But I tell myself that every week...

It seems that once a week, usually on a Sunday evening, events turn in a way that show me you don't deserve my attention...
A year ago I would have told myself copying people's mistakes was a bad idea.
10/05 Direct Link
I'm so lucky Doctor Who is cool in my part of the country.  In other areas of England, watching Doctor Who is geeky, a bit like Star Trek or whatever it is, but here I can wear my fez (yes, I wear a fez now) around town and people will think I'm cool (OK, not cool, but not wierd, either). 

I'm also lucky that being smart is cool in my school, at least in my year group.  Nobody uses the word 'boffin' offensively any more, and people proudly say "We're such nerds, aren't we!'
10/06 Direct Link
Someone told me:

Never let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs.

So, I thought to myself:

Equally, you should never let someone stand as an option in your life, when you are a priority in theirs.

About my own life:

Never let someone act as 'experience' in your life, if you are the 'real thing' in theirs.

Never let someone become the 'real thing' in your life, if you are just 'experience' in theirs.

Maybe you shouldn't let anyone be 'experience' full stop, just in case...
10/07 Direct Link
An insight into the works of my mind.  Starting with 'editor' (inspiration from 'rich text editor' - all credit to that), I write the first word that comes to mind when I think of the previous word.  Actually, if this were true, every other word would begin with an 'S' and end with an 'f', but otherwise...

Editor - newspaper - story - bed-time - pillow - feather - bird - egg - breakfast - toast - wheat - farmer - Somerset - Granny - rasberries - cream - cow - grass - wild - lion - Africa - sun - stars - night - dark - black - funeral - Church - Jesus - Romans - horrible histories - Mathew Baynton...Okay, now it's 2 words...
10/08 Direct Link
I haven't got a writing style.  Not one that's my own.  I feel so boring. 
How about diary-dramatic: Life is so bitterly unfair, I feel like a child locked in a dark cellar, stripped bare of individuality!  Oh, why can't I have a writing style?!
I could be story-dramatic: Why?  She sat with her head in her hands, little fingernail hooked over her teeth.  The bright white computer screen flared impatiently in front of her.  Why didn't she have her own writing style?!
But that's not I'm more of a comedic person.
10/09 Direct Link
Please note:  my last entry fell victim to my clumsy fingers: I clicked SUBMIT instead of EDIT!  As a consequence, it makes little sense.

In case you were wondering about my weekly resolution, it's Tuesday and already I've cracked!  He's so perfect that I forget to remind myself what is bound to happen again...

I am so proud, today I was actually told to 'sort my priorities out'!!!  Ron Weasley style!!  TK commented on my spending of the whole 'how-to-revise-for-english-and-maths-exams' morning... reading my Arabic book.
10/10 Direct Link
Mood: Proud

Made chocolate chip cookies.  Millies style, all gooey in the middle.  The secret is a splash of golden syrup. ;) *Feels proud*

OS agknowledged me today in the street!  By my name!  With all his friends around too! He gave a 'sup' nod and said 'Angela'.  I 'sup-ped' him back and raised a hand.  I felt so proud.  He's one appreciated kid.

I was talking to MS, who told me that everyone she was talking to about me said I was such a nice person - another reason to feel proud!
10/11 Direct Link
My attempt at a suicide story!  Yay, how fun!

A bird screeches, her heart thuds and her hands grab the cold, hard metal bar.

The wind snarls, the water rippling coldly in customary reply.

Silence.  The lively families packed up their picniks long ago… but dusk lingers, reluctant to let night fall. 

Is falling reluctant?  It’s involuntary, but is it reluctant?

Maybe I don’t care.

The sun struggles to stay above water.

I don’t jump. 

Nor do I step. 

I fall.

Night fell.

Ohh, how wonderfully depressing!

10/12 Direct Link
Things in my life have their own little way of staying in my memory.
My dog died two years ago.
My two dogs; sweet Jekyll by day, fearsome Hyde by night.  He slept next to the radiator, and moving him elsewhere was impossible.  Low growling first, then louder as you inched closer towards the stairs to make your way to bed.  Once, my foot found his tail and SNAP! his jaws around my ankle.  I still get nervous every time I walk past the radiator...two years later.
10/13 Direct Link
I'm getting a laptop for my birthday!
There's one I like in Curry's down the road...It's small, light and not too pricey with a good hard drive and memory.
The one on display was the last one they had, the man told me...once it's gone, it's gone.
I went back this afternoon to check if it was still there but... it had gone!!
The man said 'Oh, yes, a man came to buy it just a few hours ago...'.
'Oh, really?'
'Yes, for his daughter, he said.'

And I could have sworn he winked at me.
10/14 Direct Link
Representation of a stream of conciousness (mine):

Guard at the gatepost, whites only inn
District 6
That's innate
Students, woodlice, write up of hamster experiment
Eh kamaan
Widaad is nasty, everyone hates her... except Gaber i guess
Together we are one, Essex jamboree
6th form
42, always the time
So says EB
maths Angela maths.
brb.  photocopy mother art at ISA photocopier soonish now
back, early tomorrow morning
and Island man wakes up
Pob, LB will finish soon
It's my birthday soon...16th
so much to do so little time
circle theorums, theorems spelling english
good god
Miss mills (peace be apon her)
wish mr jolie was my maths teacher awi
Guru granth Sahib
10/15 Direct Link

Inspirational people, plus a random quote:
Ghandi - Hate the sin, love the sinner.
Woody Allen - I am at two with nature.
Buddha - There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way
Muhammad Ali - There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
Mother teresa - Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
Aesop - It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.
Aristotle - It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Martin Luther King - Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

10/16 Direct Link

If I get angry at you, will you learn?

No, you won't.

So why should I get angry?

I shouldn't.

So how will you learn?

You won't.  Simple as.

I've often thought to myself, you're so English, in a way.  You don't like change.  You don't like to adjust a way of doing something.  You like to keep the same phone for as long as possible, for example.  I think that's quite an 'English' attitude.

You don't like to be taught to do something you're not used to doing, however petty it may be.

10/17 Direct Link
"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a gramatically correct English sentance, or so Yollom told me today during a dull science lesson about buffalo.
There's a town called Buffalo, and 'buffalo' is also a verb that means 'intimidate'.
Think of it like this: buffalo from Buffalo whom buffalo from Buffalo buffalo(verb), buffalo(verb) (other) buffalo (from) Buffalo.
How about this one, imagine an English class where students learn the uses of the word 'had'.
James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
10/18 Direct Link

Really not in the mood for writing, but I let myself fall behind.  Just did Duke of Edinburgh (silver) which was really great, tiring, but yeah...not in the mood for writing about how much I love everyone.

Well basically.......someone who used to love me is ignoring me and I don't know why.  This is making me angry.  I don't know how they think or feel about me, or if they're not ignoring me deliberately, and I would very much like to know.  That way, I don't end up hurting them by mistaking their feelings.  I'm too tired to cry now...or write anything that makes sense...

10/19 Direct Link

Mother used to say this to me the night before my birthday - at me request, she did for me again this year:

When I have said my evening prayer
And my clothes are folded on the chair
When Mummy switches off the light
I'll still be 15 years old tonight.

But before the very break of day
before the children rise and play
Before the darkness turns to gold
I'll be 16 years old.

16 kisses when I wake
16 candles on my birthday cake.

So...Still a few words to go...
I had a good birthday, everyone sang (twice, and loudly) and I was happy.

10/20 Direct Link
I've discovered a newfound love for Queen.  Bohemian Rhapsody, especially.  So awesome.

I guessed it was Arabic when I heard it the first time: It means litererally (I think!) 'in the name of God'.  ism = name, allah = god.
Or 'the entirety of the Qu2ran'

I'm thinking of breaking off a friendship that's kind of already broken.  How do you go about doing that?  It may only be temporary...but probably quite a long temporary-ness...

It's half term (well, it is as I'm writing) and I wanna do something productive.  No ideas...
10/21 Direct Link

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
Youuu're on the other side of the world
Ohhh the other side of the world
Youuu're on the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

KT Tunstall - Other side of the world

...tired excuses... most of every day... fire fades away....
10/22 Direct Link
42 is following me.

It's always __:42 whenever I look at a digital clock.  It's 19:42 as I write this sentence.

All the police cars outside me house (I love opposite a police car park) have the number 42 on the top of them in large blue lettering.

The packaging on our washing powder tells me it will give me 'up to 42 washes!'.

The word count on 100 words always seems to be '42' when I get stuck on what to write.

Once I got off at the wrong station after riding on bus number 42.
10/23 Direct Link
Today mother and father had an argument about halal meat.  Mother won't eat anything but halal, but I know she doesn't understand why.  I think she doesn't even know why she prays to Allah.  Father won't eat it, he says the animals will have been kept in bad conditions, regardless of how they were killed. 
I told them to shut up and be vegetarians.

I never knew that it was Ringo Star who does the narration for Thomas the Tank Engine.  I find that rather incredible actually. Maybe I should watch it more often.
10/24 Direct Link
'I'm going out to the town hall on Friday, if that's OK.'
'About 7pm'
'And when will you be back?'
'Just after midnight.'
'That's alright, it's not far, the town hall.'
'Actually I'm going out on Saturday as well... if that's OK'  *smiles sheepishly*
'Erm... alright.  So when will you leave on Saturday?'
'About 7pm....  Again.'
'When should I expect you back home?'
'erm....just after midnight.....'
'The town hall again?  Why are you going both nights??'
'No!  Erm...a halloween party... It just happens to be the same times and consecutive nights.'
10/25 Direct Link
Seriously, at a fancy dress party, should I go as Jesus (white cloth, shirt, gladiator sandals, beard, etc) , or just wear a fez (+ normal clothes)?  Stuckness.

I swear I'll look like an idiot if I turn up as Jesus.  But I'll look like I've made no effort if I just wear the fez.

Jesus could go either way actually, could be cool, as long as people recognise who I am (fingers crossed) or I could just look really wierd dressed in a large white cloth...)

I don't know what everyone else is going as.
10/26 Direct Link

A broken clock - only I can tell the time.
The teddy who sits by my bed - only I know his name.
3 strands of incompetently woven thread.
And a little peice of green plastic, no good for it's intended job, so it sits faithfully next to the teddy.  I learned too late that the packaging was more important than the gift itself.

The fact that you said 'bye sweety' today (as opposed to a simple 'bye') for the first time in a fortnight.

Just ironic...?

Or my reverse phsycology is working better than I thought, I see.

10/27 Direct Link
‎"I refuse to prove that I exist", says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But", says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? it could not have evolved by chance. it proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear", says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
 - The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

  - Classic AC
Yeah... how, exactly?
10/28 Direct Link

So I lay fast asleep in bed, dreaming sweet dreams about nice things, when suddenly, the house started to vibrate.  I woke up immediately, ready to grumble at whatever had caused me to do that on a holiday.
My younger sister was sanding her bedroom floor.  Loudly.  With a floor sander from Ridgens.  It was vibrating the floor, which was vibrtating my bed - so much I origionally thought there was an earth quake...

For most of the day, you couldn't hear each other talk, and all because my litte sister wanted floorboards instead of carpets.

10/29 Direct Link
Only friends.

Although the sign says it, we still know where we stand.
Today I wore a hoody I haven't worn since I last saw you.  No-one else would notice it, but as I put it on I was overwelmed by the beautifully familiar smell that had clung on 'till now.
My computer password remains the same.
I still didn't fix that broken clock.
Last night (mention this to no-one) I did what I used to do.  Laptop by bed, earphones in, volume up high, fall alseep... waiting for msn's tune to wake me.
It's never worked, by the way.

But nothing's changed.
10/30 Direct Link

Contents of the top left hand drawer of the cabinet on my desk:
Two padlocks, one with keys
Two very old tamagotchis (yellow, one belonging to my sister)
A horse keyring
A 'Val d'Isere' keyring
A few woggles
A very small leather purse
Several batteries
A white dice (or die, to the fussy ones)
An eyeliner pencil (never been used)
A breast cancer badge
A large black button
A lightbulb (probably for a torch)
A flower shaped badge
My long lost kilt pin
3 coloured paper clips
A school council badge
A shell
A small green clothes peg
A rubber egg (one of the ones that bounce off uncontrolably)

10/31 Direct Link
So, the end of October...
My first month.
I will have written 3000 words!  That's worth a lenghty GCSE essay...
I've actually surprised myself by how much I've enjoyed this.  If you look back at my first entry, you'll likely get the feeling that I don't really like writing.
And I don't - for other people.  But here, I doubt more than the two who know me ever read what I've written.
'Nostalgia' by Yanni is playing on my computer.  It's dramatic, the kind of music that makes you feel like something has been achieved.