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12/01 Direct Link
Mmm.  Chewin' a pen.  The inside of a pen, the squidgy bit that has ink in.  That has ink in.  Ho hum.  Sooner or later I'll strike gold and dash off to the bathroom.  I should really stop chewing before that happens.

Creativity appears to have deserted me.
I'll steal someone elses for the time being.

The more it snows
(Tiddly Pom)
The more it goes
(Tiddly Pom)
The more it goes
(Tiddly Pom)
On snowing.

And nobody knows
(Tiddly Pom)
How gold my toes
(Tiddly Pom)
How cold my toes
(Tiddly Pom)
Are growing
12/02 Direct Link
Lina, Lina Valentina,
Make me laugh like a hyena.
Kid yourself it's comical,
But then that state gets chronical.
Laughter soon becomes hysteric;
Silly thoughts may turn barbaric.

Lina, Lina Valentina
Make me laugh like that hyena
Still, you ain't no ballerina...
Just leave Sherif to Angelina.

That, right there, is one of the first poems I have every written, and I'm rather proud of it!  This is mainly for annibel :)

Anyway, putting that aside...
Christmas is in the air!!  T'be sure, t'be sure...

Please excuse the Irish there...

Already looking forward to: Doctor Who Christmas special!
12/03 Direct Link
What do I want to do with my life?
So much relies on chance...
Chance that I'll get good A level grades
Chance that I'll be accepted into Uni to do a Speach and Language degree without Biology
Chance that I'll live through that...
Chance that I'll be able to find a well paying job with that
Chance that I'll enjoy that job and not want to suddnely do something else
Chance that I'll marry a nice man
Chance that that man has a well paying job, if mine doesn't
Chance that he'll want to have children
Chance that I'll not suddenly discover I'm infertile
...Anyway!
12/04 Direct Link

Fireworks.
When I was very young, I would clamp my hands over my ears and shut my eyes tight, trying to imagine I was at home.
As I grew older and I was no longer afraid, I looked for the patterns the smoke made, and tried to spot the sparks flying upwards before they exploded.
Older still and I marvelled at how pretty the houses of parliament would have looked if Guy Fawkes' plan had worked.
A couple of years later, I tut-tutted with my friends about the damage that was being caused to the environment.
As I entered secondary school, I spent the evening trying to work out what chemicals had been used for each firework.
Tonight was the first time I looked at the real beauty of fireworks.

12/05 Direct Link
When I am sitting in an art exam, and my fingers are working away by themselves... I forget art.  I forget all the noise, the smells, everything.  My mind goes off on a journey of it's own, one thought leading to the next.  I sit up and look around.  Did everyone's mind wonder off for all that time, as mine did?  What was going through their heads?  Three hours could make for some valuable thinking time, if the paths in my mind didn't all seem to lead to you.
12/06 Direct Link
He's a sinner
Candy-coated
For all his friends
He always seems to be alone
But they love him
Bugsy Malone

A city slicker
He can charm you
With a smile and a style all his own
Everybody loves that man
Bugsy Malone

Hot-headed Bugsy makes his mind up
Don't mess with Bugsy or you'll wind up
Wishing you'd left well enough alone
He's a man, a mountain
He's a rolling stone

And will he leave you
Sad and lonely, crying
I couldn't say, but it's known
That everybody wants that man
Bugsy Malone
12/07 Direct Link

One yellow paperclip woke up one day to find himself attatched to a blue paperclip.  They both found this rather odd and soon realised that it was going to be very frustrating.  Blue wanted to go this way, but yellow was adamant on that way.  In the excitement, pink found himself hooked onto blue.  The more they clanged about, the more paperclips became attatched, the more thrashing was involved, resuting in a chain reaction (no pun intended) of joining paperclips.
Eventually, they realised that they were making things worse, and decided to work together.
Naww.

12/08 Direct Link
Listening to: Steve Ouimette - We three kings (rocking out)

Should be doing - Biology portfolio (in for thursday)

Has been doing this evening - facebook, Harry Potter 2 pc game in French, mucking around with younger sister (useless, but better than biology)

Health status - almost better (but was very ill this morning, and was still refused permission to be sent home by school nurse)

Boredom level out of 10 - 8

Longing to - talk to a friend

Feeling particularly affectionate towards - Annie, hope you get better soon

Not feeling particularly affectionate towards - the nurse

Can't wait for - Christmas holidays

Is about to - go to bed
12/09 Direct Link
And when the day is done
You look back into the mirror of the past
Reflecting
On all that happened, the high points
And the lows
And those inbetween.

There have been times, I'm sure
When you pressed your hands against the glass
Longing to get back into your past
Maybe to make amends
Or to re-live experiences
And although you know it's nonsense
You waste your time craving for it.
Alice did it... Why can't I?

Now, you've learned why we have a memory.
You know well why you can't just block things From your mind.
No, we'll never change the past.
But we can learn from it.
12/10 Direct Link
Do I really care if the behaviour of blowfly larvae in response to light is taxis or kineses behaviour when it's 11:30 on a wednesday night and I'm on a sudden high after a sudden down.
My emotions went mad today, without feeling the need to explain themselves.  I asked Betsy to get greaseproof paper from Tescos, and when she forgot, I started crying.  Just now, I'm listening to some Japanese music I don't even understand, and I'm over the moon.  I couldn't even stop myself sending Sherif a love letter.  It's one of those 'I'll regret that later, but right now, I couldn't care less' moments.
12/11 Direct Link
I have one of those money jars that you can't open unless you smash them.  I usually forget about it, but I'm very genourous when I remember.  I don't let myself put in coins of any less value than 50p, or it would fill up too fast with all the useless coins.  I forget, but I think once I put in a £5 note.  I've had it for about a year, and I reckon I have at least £15 in there now - and it still feels almost empty.
It'll be a nice surprise in a few years.
12/12 Direct Link

We sit in comfortable silence, slurping Slush Puppie.  The large water fountain opposite holds the clear blue sky above, in which two giggling children play. The bright sun sparkles off the water droplets they throw into the air. The mother watches, rocking a beautiful baby in his pram.  She’s laughing, encouraging, cheering.   A pair of large sunglasses conceal her eyes, and a flowing, indigo scarf covers her hair - all I can see is her smile.

It’s a beautiful smile.

I wonder what it would be like to live this life.  I lose myself in this thought for a while.

12/13 Direct Link

"Why you are looking to this woman?”  His quiet voice startles me.  My eyes snap downwards and I feel my face heat up.  Wow, what was I doing thinking about something like that?  I surprise myself sometimes.
“I wasn’t.”
“Because of her headscarf?  It is strange for you?”
I laugh, slightly relieved.  “No, no!”
“So what?  You were staring at her!”
“I wasn’t!”
“Liar!”
“I’m not!”
Pause.
“You were thinking if you can be like her?”
Eek.  “I wasn’t looking at her.”
“Liar.  You’re blushing.”
“I wasn’t looking at her, I was looking at her children!”   I cringe.  That came out completely wrong.
He thinks about that.  “It’s the same thing”, he says.  “I was right.”

12/14 Direct Link
Sally walked eagerly through the barn doors, and saw her husband.  George, on the other hand, watched the barn doors open and saw his wife walking eagerly through them.  Polly the hen saw a man and a woman look odly at each other for a moment, but it was a moment that didn't entertain her short attention span.  It was Sue the sheepdog who saw it all.  She saw her master and her mistress run into each other's arms after 2 years of being apart.  She felt a warm glow fill the barn, but didn't understand it.
'It's because I'm a dog', she thought.
12/15 Direct Link
55 was a ripe old age for a bear.  Especially one of very little brain, who was quite prone to getting himself into tricky situations.  Only, he'd learnt by now that it wasn't the maths and the spelling and such that made one's brain any more substantial.  Because the brain is all about thoughts and thinking, that's what makes a brain a brain isn't it?  So surely the brain with the most thoughts in it is the biggest. 
'And I think a lot', Pooh thought to himself proudly.
12/16 Direct Link
Once apon a time, a man tried to make a breakfast cereal out of rice.  They were perfect, until he poured the milk on.  They snapped and crackled and popped in the bowl. 
'Well, this'll never sell', he thought, 'what a shame', and sat down to think of a solution.  When nothing seemed to work and he had almost given up, he thought to himself  'Hey, I could make it seem like I'd deliberately made them like this!  It would be a great thing to remember them by!'.
And they were a great sucess.
12/17 Direct Link
The last day of term... As if I'm ill?!
So I missed relaxed lessons of films and games, and couldn't make it to a meal at Prezzo I had planned with my friends...
Despite having the 'flu, I'm happy.
Despite feeling a little ignored, I don't care.
I'm looking forward to a day out with a couple of gals I love a lot.  I'm looking forward to feeling the cold wind in my face.  I'm looking forward to that fresh feeling of gliding over the ice (I say 'gliding'...)
But mostly I'm looking forward to feeling better again.
12/18 Direct Link
The same man then tried to cover his rice crispies in chocolate.  They were perfect, until he poured the milk on.  The chocolate covering dissolved off the rice and made the milk chocolatey. 
'Well, this'll never sell', he thought, 'what a shame', and sat down to think of a solution.  When nothing seemed to work and he had almost given up, he thought to himself  'Hey, I could make it seem like I'd deliberately made them like this!  It would be a great thing to remember them by!'.
And they were a great sucess.
12/19 Direct Link
I've fallen out of favour
And I've fallen from grace
Fallen out of trees
And I've fallen on my face
Fallen out of taxis
Out of windows too
Fell in your opinion
When I fell in love with you

Sometimes I wish for falling
Wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air
To give me some relief
Because falling's not the problem
When I'm falling I'm in peace
It's only when I hit the ground
It causes all the grief

Is it wrong that I don't make a particular effort to have exactly 100 words every time?  Sometimes I have a few words left or extra, and I can't change anything without changing my meaning.
12/20 Direct Link
I may have put myself in a potentially awkward situation.
*Imagines*
You: Hey, have a look at my facebook profile, I want to show you something.
Me: Er.... well... I can't.
You: What?  Can't what?
Me: I can't see your profile.
You: Why?!
Me: Erm... well basically... actually... as a matter of fact...
You: Go on.  What happened?
Me: I blocked myself from your profile using parental control settings...
You: ......okay.

When said
And done
King Charles (that's me)
Did run
England
For fun
I was the King, loved by everyone my song is done!

And 5 words to go.
12/21 Direct Link

All in all
Looking back on the situation
I'm fine.

If you asked, I'd groan and tell you 'I don't want to talk about it'.
But I'm fine.  It's just...
I'm slightly sick of telling.
I'm slightly bored of thinking.
I don't need advice.
I don't care for sympathy.

I could read every word, every gesture, every implication.
But there's no need.

I could sit and cry about the sad bits and laugh at the happy bits.
But it won't help anything

What would really help me right now
Despite the trauma of today
Would most definately be
To go to bed.

12/22 Direct Link
Time
Isn't standing still
We move on, the world keeps spinning
New beginnings,
Different places, fresh faces
Time
Seems to pass us by
Before we know it, we've arrived
Somewhere to find
That things have changed in many ways, but
Once in a while, I'll take a moment to remember,
Everything and everyone,
That make me what I have become,

Letting go never seems easy
Moving on is hard to do
Still I know wherever life leads me,
I'll hold on to memories of you.
12/23 Direct Link
Like a boy who draws a girl on paper and imagines.  He imagines she's real and he can touch her, hear her, smell her.  He falls in love with her, but she's in his imagination.
I think of you always - at school, before I sleep, walking on the street alone... and every time I have that urge to find you and tell you I love you.  Every time I tell myself 'Angela's not here with me.  She's not something to touch, to hold.  Something to imagine only'.
12/24 Direct Link

Oh, we were evil, heartless children.
I remember the day when we told you the reason we set fire to our christmas pudding was to symbolise the burning of baby Jesus.  We were very young, and we had nothing against Jesus or indeed against you.  But we found it amusing, how we could make you upset by criticising a man whom none of us even knew existed.  We used to change the words of the hyms we sang in assembly to blasphemous meanings, then challenge God to punish us.
He never did.  

12/25 Direct Link

It was dark, the children had returned home and the moonlight twinkled magically off the tightly packed snow.  Several days of intensive sledding had caused it to become hard and smooth like ice.  We slid so fast over a mirror of the stars above us.  I watched Betsy whoosh past me, gliding effortlessly over the shining slope, her face elated, her arms in the air.  The runners of the sledge are barely touching the ground. In fact... And there she goes, she's taken off into the beautiful winter sky.

12/26 Direct Link
So you think you can ruin it all for me, do ya?!
*Deletes msn contact after spouting a load of nonsense*
Bother.  A load more silly things I can't undo.
The sad fact is, I ruined it for myself by trying not to let you ruin it for me.

After a long silence.  'Would you describe this as depression?'
I say 'No' without thinking.  Then I think.  Then I decide I definately agree with my answer.
'Why don't you think so?'
I don't have an answer for that one.  I'll have to make one up.
12/27 Direct Link
-What language do you speak in England?
-English.  We speak English in England.
-I mean like... Englandish... or whatever you'd call it. How would you say 'hello' in Englandish?
-Hello.
-No, I mean how would you say it to your friends in England?
-Hello.  It's the same.  We speak this language in England too, you know.
-Oh, I see!  So you don't have a different language?

I had this conversation with a trilingual Egyptian 10 year old from Canada who was fluent in French, Arabic and English.  Apparently she didn't know that we spoke English in England...
12/28 Direct Link

First spent dreaming
Second spent flirting
Third spent beaming
Fourth spent hurting
But it wasn't really hurting much at all.

Fifth spent revising
Sixth was unsurprising
But I really must improve my untidy scrawl.

Seventh spent yearning
Eighth spent sleeping
Ninth spent learning
Tenth spent weeping
This term looks like it’ll be a long haul.

Eleventh spent praying
Twelfth spent playing
And that was my year, as I recall.

12/29 Direct Link
Angie, Angie
When will those clouds all disappear?
Angie, Angie
Where will it lead us from here?
With no loving in our souls
And no money in our coats
You can't say we're satisfied
But Angie, Angie
You can't say we never tried
Angie, You're beautiful
But ain't it time we said goodbye
Angie, I still love you
Remember all those nights we cried?
All the dreams we held so close
Seemed to all go up in smoke
Let me whisper in your ear
Angie, Angie
Where will it lead us from here?

Why do I feel like this song is about me...?  I'd love to post all of it, but the wordcount disapproves.
12/30 Direct Link

This year has:

Made me a lot more patriotic.  I've never really been as proud of my country as I am now.

Given me a broader and better taste in music.  But I suppose every year does that, as you come across more and more great songs.

Taught me how to be angry.  It may sound strange, but I've never properly felt anger before 2010.

Helped me decide my future.

Shown me Love.  With a capital 'L'.  Good side and bad.

And many many more that I'm both proud and ashamed of...

Bring on 2011!

12/31 Direct Link

Crikey moses!
I left 100 words for so long, and came back today (january the 15th) to find that this batch closes on the 16th!
Sooo, yes.  I've really got bad at this writing lark since I last came here...
Hmm.
Orange gave me the 'canary' tariff when I wanted the 'dolphin' one.  But I probably brought it on myself by pressing the wrong number or something.  I can change it next month.  I might get the 'camel' one, but just for one month.  You get 60 free international calls and 15p texts.  Could prove useful?