BY Gemini

11/01 Direct Link
Pinch punch first day of the month, thanks for the bruises. Slightly odd still seeing you around I forget I am supposed to hug you! Its getting quite nippy now. exams are frightfully close.
stupid maths teacher!
funny how quickly you can fall back into routine, I'm Never prepared.
i have decided that the scarf must become a regular feature in my school uniform now. I value body heat and do not want to share!
ahh food tech I missed you so with you drawn out evaulations and freezing cold cooking rooms. Coursework is also super.
11/02 Direct Link
sitting in a free should be fun. doing nothing with your life sitting there thinking about the future.
Hazel from connections is lovely but not when you are trying to get onto facebook to tell the world how bored you are! tum tee tee hee maybe I should do some work. Then again...
The colder it gets the more I want it to snow. I used to hate the snow, it meant I couldnt see the people I loved. Things have changed and the snow has melted but im pretty sure you value it above me still. Idoit
11/03 Direct Link
I remembered something I read a long time ago today. an experiment done with three blackbirds. each was placed in a box with a button. the first blackbird would press the button and always recieve food. The second when it pressed the button it would recieve food every 3-2 presses and the last would recieve the food at random points when it pressed. the Scienctists stopped the food and the 1 st bird and 2nd bird died after a couple of days. The last bird who was constantly pressing the button survived the longestbecause it didn't give up hope.
11/04 Direct Link
Pretty exciting I have already nearly got everybody's christmas presents! I love christmas, i must get excited this year. last year I ate all my advent chocolate on the 8th day because I was feeling greedy.
Maybe I just didnt have a good christmas last year. I remember missing something, well someone. Yes this year I am going to enjoy christmas! not sleep on christmas eve. is it bad I want to spend christmas with friends? I dont think my family understand me, Im surprised I dont have a a shrink. My mum clearly thinks I have a few issues :)
11/05 Direct Link
Oh florence and the Machine how I love you so! your songs bring such meaning to my life. I don't care people believe you look like a man! I love you! music is magical! It can change you mood to such extremes. Instead of talking I should just play songs at people to try and make them see how im thinking! Then again, maybe I should repress this and just sing at them! that ought to get my message acroos. Who wouldn't want to say hello to me and recieve a tuneful reply of 'good morning! good morning! to you!
11/06 Direct Link
I love you franji pani so much! where would I be without you and your Gran's annoying dog!
Probably should revise. But then again my brain has melted.
stupid licking dog get off my face i like the other cute dog!
The fireworks are bright and really quite hurt, at least they amke it less akward. well it couldnt be much worse!
I Can't help but smile when you make no sense.
11/07 Direct Link
I have a passion for sports. Most people do, but I really love it. Football especially. I support a small team that no one has heard of. I attend regular fixtures and scream like a loon when they score. It gives me a real buzz.
 So I have decided when I am older I will not need to drink I will force my small football team to score and I will become a happy scream mess and voila! a hooligan without pickling my liver. I know what your thinking! pretty impressive, tell me if you need life coaching ;)
11/08 Direct Link
funny how much song lyrics can mean to you :) someone describing perfectly what you have been trying to sort out in your head for a long time:

This is the last sraw, dont want to hurt anymore
you can tell me that your sorry but I dont believe you like I did before
your not sorry

Looking so innocent I might believe you if I didnt know
I could of loved you all my life is you hadnt left me out in the cold

you used to shine so bright, but I watched our loving fade.

Yes, im still very cut up about you. happy?
11/09 Direct Link
why oh why do I get the wobbly desk, why oh why does my sneeze sound like a horn.
that feeling of dislike as you relectantly turn the page onto the hope of knowing the next question!
Chocolate sure tastes mighty fine yet I would still rather be with you :)
stupid flippin wind! why wont you just go and annoy some on who doesnt have exams!
this 100 word thing is wierd, i have no idea how to submit a batch when i would have to catch up 8 days! i cant remember that far back! oh dear dear me.
11/10 Direct Link
Exams are always a stress. Especially when your stuck on the wobbly one in the corner. Its not even my seat. I sat in the wrong one.

Why do innocent characters always die. Normally its the animals. They are always the worst. I once read a book where the sweet dog died, I didnt care that the main charcter also died it was his own silly fault for going on that stupid quest! And now the one friend he had that would follow him any where had its neck broken. No, thats not fair. Never is  
11/11 Direct Link
I noticed today how you can capture the wordsa in thin air of people you would never dream of talking to.
A boy was calling his mate a hobo because he fell in a tumble dryer.
A headmaster yelling at a boy telling him he is mentally impaired.
A girl complaining about the inside of her foot to a friend who would obviously rather smear eyeliner round her face
A teacher muttering to herself about the annoyance of it being Thursday not Friday

Useful insights into lives you wouldn't ever see. Im not saying this is a great thing. Just very interesting
11/12 Direct Link
365 days ago I met someone. 9 months later they left. In the grand scheme its not important. I didn't want to forget this day. But I dont want to get upset either. They were no good and it hurt. Its proably for the best but I cant help it. At least you remembered, thats always something.
It wasnt as bad I thought. The worst is over. Well it couldnt be too good either.
Exams are over so im free for a while. Still more to come!
It feels good not to have to worry now.

tomorrow might be brighter :)
11/13 Direct Link
Sleeping sometimes is a bad thing. If your afraid of seeing your thoughts played out in front of you. Sometimes its good to see this, it brings you home. What can't be described in words shown as a play in your eyes. You can talk with hours to people you havent for years. tell someone anything and yet not be aware when you wake up it never happened.
Its painful to wake up and wish your dream was reality and force your eyes to close to try and get back to it. The moments lost, it always is with me.
11/14 Direct Link
I value orginisation. It helps move me through life and send of the illusion of knowing what Im doing. it helps me accomplish task which have no purpose yet still feel satisfied.
working through tasks that have been building up: sorting my room, sorting out christmas, sorting out realtionships, sorting out past memories (hiding them)
I felt something today. A twinge of familiarity. your smell on an old bag. You hadnt been near it but it was deffinatly your smell. I should know.
sometimes its good to orginise. de-clutter your life from the rubbish of yestarday and start afresh
11/15 Direct Link
I dislike shards of wood. A simple shard thats all it took. Hours of agony caused by a split second. I suppose this applies to other areas of life, heartbreak for instance.
The shard was sliced into my leg. I have a phobia of needles so this was not postive. The shard went deep, really deep.

Bit by bit it dissappeared, tears streaming from my eyes. I dont ever cry unless Im in pain. I must of hit a nerve. It was raw.
No one could help me remove the shard. It would of hurt more.
It was removed alone.
11/16 Direct Link
I was asked a question I didnt know the answer to.
I had been asking myself the same question for many weeks now. Its an answer what I want to know, but im still scared. what if I dont like the answer?

I was asked an easier quesion first and answer I knew for sure. I promised my answer
you changed the question
how could you?
you changed the question to the one I cant answer
I caught your eye, you know the answer
I snatch my hand back
how can i answer with a lie?
I would be lying to myself
I need an answer
11/17 Direct Link
time flies when your having fun. Isnt that what they say? does it always?
what if just alot happens?
what if your just confused?
what if by ignoring it time slips by?
is it good time travels so quickly when you are happy?
what if you find it time goes quicker when your broken?
what if you ask questions about time, will it go slower?

either way time slipped by without my noticing, quicker than it did in the past. Maybe I am happy, Maybe you make it better. Its better this way. I just have to tell myself, again
11/18 Direct Link
You expect us to learn from you. We already know.
You think you are smart and amazing, but I know you. And you know I know. Does that make you scared...

Yours eyes keep meeting mine, I dont want them to. You look into me and likewise with you. But in a flash you change. Im scared of your power of me. And your scared of me

I learnt about words today, the power they have and how quickly you can conjure them. Create an image and make another human feel what you feel. A connection spread through ink and words.
11/19 Direct Link

Music is magical
Single notes hanging in the air create the sense of 'anything'
But I find myself wnating to join in. Even if it isnt relevant, though it always tends to be.

I always drift off in music, back into memoires. Im not sure if this is healthy. Music is a powerful thing which can effect your emotion. Words which you never thought would never apply to you suddenly bring tears to your eyes because you realise the truth.

Maybe its not actually the music that is scary, but the simple fact the words remind you of the truth

11/20 Direct Link
Its very tiring looking forward to something. Sometimes sleep is the best way for time to move quicker.
When it lives up to your imgination this is good however you tend not to notice. Mainly because that is what is expected. Spell binding would be the best way to describe the film.

Its good to talk to those you would'nt normally. Finding you have more in common than you ever thought you would. To share a space so confined and talk so deep. we were friends before but know I feel I know you better. In conclusion a good day
11/21 Direct Link
You have to earn respect. You may earn it for a while but you can always lose it.
I felt I should respect you. I was supposed to. But because I had to I couldnt. I felt after a long time I should forgive you but today I lost my shcrap of respect for you.
People say we are similiar, I hope we are not. Your dont even earn respect, all you do with it is use it as a power of people. But not me.
I will respect you when you understand that being fair is the only way.
11/22 Direct Link
I dont feel too good. Its not painful just unpleasent.
I could barely breath this morning yet I still tried to go.
I had to give up, the call of soft cushions and hours of rubbish television were calling, you can't blame me for resisting.
Its funny how easy it is to slip out of routine.
And not entirely unpleasent

Its just a shame less people noticed. Not that i wanted sympathy it just would of been nice to be missed. Obviously the expected called, checking how I was. Though there was little else. Maybe its better to stick to routine.
11/23 Direct Link
You speak so easy when im there. The akwardness, the catching glance. I always wonder what your thinking.
I would like to read minds, it would make life easier to live. Even the vile thoughts would give you views into the person you were with. I just want to know what they are thinking, listen to their thoughts.
Catch wisps of people concerns. It would mean I didnt think about myself because i would constantly be feeling for others. I may abuse the power, but I am only human.
Yes the best power would be to read minds. especially yours
11/24 Direct Link
I drifted further away from you but now it seems im drifting back, I missed your laugh and the familarity I feel. The general conversation we should'nt really have. Its good to hear you speak the same way you used to.

Sometimes the worst thing is being let down. I agreed to this because you were my bedrock. Something to anchor myself to. But you didn't call. Just this once you forgot. Im not upset just confused, what have I done differently? I haven't changed. Im sure theres a reason, there has to be. Maybe my bedrock may have corroded
11/25 Direct Link
One Month till Christmas.

It is very cold, my fingers begin to burn with the pain. I prefer the cold though, it makes me feel alive and fresh. The cold air slips easily.

One Month till Christmas

A girl today didn't know it was a month, how can you not know when christmas is? I always love christmas, I try and get excited, re spark some inner child.
Christmas everybody can celebrate, everyone should be happy, even if they dont really understand what they are celebrating.
Christmas should make you feel happy because it is traditional. The tradition of happiness 
11/26 Direct Link
Im very tired now.
Very Very tired.
I can bearly be myself with the constant pressure to smile, the constant pressure to hide away
All I want to do Is dream away a couple of hours, I like to think about the perfect me, free to do what ever in a reality which att he time seems real.
I can be anyone in those dreams, but im mainly me.
Its other people that chnage in my sleep. Thye become what I always hoped they would be. The spend time like they never did. The warm my heart and make me happy
11/27 Direct Link
I couldnt really sleep.
I took the spare time to look out my window and see something I hadn't for a while.
 I looked up the stars were brighter than ever, they were intense. I found a star thatcaught my eye. I claimed it to be mine.
If you stare long enough at the stars they blur and turn into aeroplanes. They really do twinkle.

A shooting star appeared for a second, maybe I imgained it, I dont think I did. Small streak, a white flame that crossed the sky.

But I didnt have time to make a wish.
11/28 Direct Link
I hate those days when you cant bear to look in the mirror. Its better to be ignorant than know the full extent.
Maybe I'm just tired. Lets hope so.
Its a lazy day and there is no reason to make an effort. Im not expecting anything.
Maybe its because I slept in later today?
I can feel everything aching but I have no idea what would help.
I Have nothing really to do. I have done very little. Its important to have a purpose.

Maybe if I did something of importance I could look in the mirror tonight
11/29 Direct Link
I have a changing heart. Sometimes I wish for you other times I want you gone. You repulse me and yet i will hold you close. Its not only you I can crush many other, break them with in a second, I think trust is the problem. I dont think I have ever had this happen to me. probably for the best.
I dont do it often but I enjoy having the power, It makes you feel wanted, really all it does is turn poeple away. Of course you wouldnt notice, you are far to loving for your own good
11/30 Direct Link
I dont want to hold your hand, I will would much rather keep my head down and focas on the snow. I dont want to hurt you yet I dont want to force myself to do something to make you happy.
Its colder and wetter now and I still wont accept your hand all it offers me is love yet I still refuse.
I hate doing what is expected.
Maybe if I ignore you you will begin to understand my boundaries and how far I will be pushed, as I said my modd changes
Maybe Im just cold like the snow.