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Thomas Michael Henry
Today is the first day of January, this is supposed to signify something but, if you look at life as a series of events then it only signifies night into day.My time is not based on a schedule set by others. My time is not measured in currency. It is not even my time it is our time and how I manuvuer through it with conscience and careful thought. Yes, the world is a lonely place, you"re on your own. Ultimately, this is true but, it is how you ride the waves with your mates on the voyage.
I stand on my bed of nails I wear my loose fitting button down fleecr open The external world is not entering The telling of what has been enriching my life almost seems boastful even to a novice The typing occurs while some of the greatest writers soothe my mind with wonderful singing When the punching of keys is not happening I may listen to these great composers while reading great writers amaze me with three little words which will stay captive in my consciousness. The mentioning of names mean nothing if guidance is not present. Solitude is a gift
Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and began an entry. The entry was about trying to knock myself out by stuffing my face, drinking sleep inducing tea and listening to talk radio. YES boring I must do everything in my power because I'm so excited with life and when I am writing my one hundreth word about feeling like an old time fighter in the fifteenth round waiting for the bell, BANG! The electricity goes out momentarily. This forces me to write again while the swine flu cartoon piggie stares at me. Exhausted and hurried entry
Oh my one hundred I almost forgot you today. I had what would be considered a wasteful day. I did one productive thing and one family thing. Then did nothing but, lay in bed and spew hate towards nazis and gambling addicts. So, many things I could have done. You never want to compare yourself to others. It does boost the ego though to know yes you may not have done much but, you also have not done anything destructive. You can always start to catch up tomorrow considering tomorrow is only twenty five minutes away and I'll barely sleep
My mind wrestles with art and promotion. People say thinking aloud when one types I guess it's clicking aloud. A journal entry is day after day of thoughts but, it is not a discipline. I have pages of pages of writing which I would like to publish. I have a self reminder written stating: RESPECTABLE, RESPONSIBLE WRITE OR YOU WILL FAIL TO EXIST. I believe this is true in my case, although I have other artistic outlets none are expressive as mind to hand unedited. My life's blood is ink but, in today's age typing is the way to think.
I like working but, I hate business. This is work because it's a duty. I enjoy the putting effort into anything but, the exchange of currency. Jesus was right about that one, leaving what is Ceasar's Ceasar. I deal with that like the adululation after something which is naturally. Pass and move along, worship for humans is usually associated with one's who covet these materials which symbolize currency. Life is not for symbolism it is for representation. Represtation of individual energy leading to a combination of people, animals, mammials, water, solids, minerals, fish, chlorophorm based beings and resolution of modernism
RAGE! As I was just finishing an entry on flow of the mind always being my style and it also being the style of great writers I had later read. I'm about to submit and my old mouse clicks to google. GONE! Those thoughts and feelings can not be replicated and this is why no matter what all the pro modernists tell me I curse this new of business oriented typing to a screen. DAMN IT! I will not go so far as people in the past for I know this the adaptation for the artist must use to compete.
The sun has not risen I am using my bed of nails on my occipital Feeling internally bruised Possibly it's pressure put on expectations daily The piercing feels good and focus is on the ultimate in moderism, a handheld computer apparatus. This brings upon stress; beep, message,ring, text,job offer and hoping while seeing inbox storage. Waiting for the possibilities all within my hands
Emotions go up as the actions of innocence come out. The emotions of misguided anger and overwhelming joy and humor. Innocence/ignorance does this Some words become demonized in the American vernacular, their use is typecast. Ignorance only means not being aware of, not stupidity. It's as though some words have a trip wire to the insulting of ego yet someone may use a bevvy of lesser used adjectives to convey a potent attack unbeknownst to the innocent. Does this make the eloquent one better for their advanced vocabulary or does it make them equal to the adolescent through intention.
Word association urges pig impulses nearward inward intro extra sensitive over thoughtless exercise in uh oh just remembered I've directed others to critique my writing These other are others for curiosity or for equity and it was as though they were opening the shower curtain on me while I would explore the word association Sure it's honest but, I'm much more calculated in my writing despite it being flow of the mind and not believing in mistakes The subconscious is mine like moments at home singing an over the top pop tune or dancing or miming in the mirror MINE
Seeing the gondola Using a knife phones sub Title moving slowly admiring Using human ability unreliant upon gadgets Peoples inventions have not replaced my gene pool I'll peel my orange with my fingers I'll cook my food without a microwave I'll climb a hill or mountain whatever maybe there I do not wait for transportation if I'm late determination is the nation I'm most affilated with As I say this I type on a laptop listening to songs from youtube in my well heated room Hypocrite I would have to say fifty percent of one as to not be dependent
Back and forth I go A scheduled day Going from nourishment to check the water The hair and clothes are not wanted but, needed to be pristine Cars, trains, Buses having trouble while planes are grounded Most of humanitity is disabled in the area, this is of no importance to the higher ups miles away at headquaters Bottom line is asses in seats no matter when but, The life risked is worth the partial day of productivity Agreed terms by the workers for cash incentive The workers in the corporate world are held to postal standards for better or worse
All niceties aside all proper wording aside any sort of prose is not necessary.Indian Spirit Cards gave me a reading through a friend. I never did tarot but, the natives of this western land I find acceptable. The reading was more like an affirmation. It said I am a badger in a positive manner, aggressive. Aggression is my ally. As this writing is fueled by caffine and heavy metal: destroy all thought patterns. People are so extro sweet and consciously or un acidic in manner. Explode all falseness, make them uncomfortable with honesty and question beliefs set by society
well, once again techno;ogy has foiled me for I am ver tired from writing a about a thousand words to a lovely soul.I was at 99, I wrote my one more word and dated the entry I guess improperly because after my submission, strangely, I wanted to read my writing. It is not there thoughts forever lost never to be worked into the same molding again. Beautiful soul's writing left me tingling from my shoulders to the back of my thighs and I was expressing admiration of this inconsequencential good looking woman with a great soul, essential expression
You wanna challenge me you son of a bitch/ be lucky you leave/ without a stitch/ I don't want to hear your crap/ don't have to nice and please your every whim like a fuckin sap/ I grow tired of you take a nap before I snap/ my alter ego will rap my words will leave you bound and covered like a gift wrap/ I spill/ kill/ and cure your sickness like benadryl/ Fuck this rythming cause I think of changing up my style into a true lyrical punk. No reason as you've read I've already duped you into prejudice
There are many times where metaphor is not necessary. Presently, I am listening to one of the most beautiful guitar works ever at six a.m. and the only other noises are the water from the fish tank and the keys chipping away at this writing. The tank is illuminated as the soft glow of serenity. Metaphor is occasionally "cute", to Bukowski. Not saying the gruff Bukowski style is infallible but, the word he preachs most for great writers is the word which Billy Joel says is so hard to find, honesty. That word in itself is beautiful and appreciated
Fuck this kill fart the cards blank your mother and stomp along the trail of darkness to a cave which makes the darkness a welcome site confined losing grip shrinking scratching slicing the artery of creativity and determination. Chop the complacentcy and pick up punch the cave walls grab fists ful of slate chew on the stone swallow them take ipecac and regurgitate then piss on that fucking wall of confinement This is leftover from yesterday's aggression> today, I have the hangover scratching the walls and hoping to get traction> This quarter of an entry is a good start anytime.
A woman and I were very close today She and I are on the verge of something which means She's leaving I am single and past an average person's middle life span I like women who dumps me and vice versa This woman is not the same as the others because she is reluctant but, at least around She doesn't run off like the others for now She wants different things I don't hate the diffenerences in people it would be much nicer if there's a translator for the mind to go through past experience to make everything universally understandable
The effort is there and tiring. As advised at the bottom of this website page, you should put pages with bolds and indent. I don't spell check. I am a writer. I am not a student. I will hope a talent is seen in my thought to electronic page. The talent unharnessed and here for perusal. Here's hoping you enjoy this intention is not to please
New experience if not overwhelming will be questioned. What did you like what have you learned what is it you did not like. The primary objective is knowledge; a point of reference. This is what it will be no matter how small a sample size . Overwhelming or addictive this new experience becomes your then recognized as an expert which unfortunately means less new experiences because obsession
Entry on the run I am entering this from my mobile phone This device has changed the lives of millions Voluntarily people are indispensable They dream of constant contact for business and popularity Social networking is the wave which has made mass communication cute People do not have surprises as often A letter, a chance meeting with an old acquaintance are less and less common We know
Oh how the ability to become an enforcer of something which you never really put much effort into yourself. Odd for me to say DO YOUR HOMEWORK because I used to the least amount possible with my own homework. Only one year younger than the age where I remember sitting in second grade staring out the window and those smart ass teachers in a mocking tone would call on me for the answer only to be shocked by the correct answer being given without breaking the window gaze. Trivial activity but, necessary to a committed student which I push for?
Exhausted but, I must write about life. I do it at this time because my five year old son is back with his mother. He is a wonderful person. Yes, a wonderful five yearold, not just because he is my son. It was difficult to get over the guilt of not being with his Mom to see him daily. To be with her was only for that reason and it was finally decided it would be unfair to him. We have the same sense of humor which says alot about me or him depending on your cynical view. Worthy exhaustion
My face is warped by attitude The bottom lip is like a tent pole The body a steady shiver A pounding for the chi surrounding me Persons have that feeling of being watched with my eyeyes focusing on nothing but, a beat Socializing is a strange thing A professional recently asked if I was autistic My response if honesty makes you disabled okay then. The professional: awestruck
Anticipation of speech is what I see Some can not survive without some type of noise A distraction somehow from the whirlwind of the human brain It is almost a situation where you seem to pity the person with the pursed lips I do not need to speak and most times it is to entertain myself or pass along knowledge Oh listening is much better than talking Where as I prefer writing as opposed to reading Reading if stumbled upon I enjoy much more than someone else's opinion of greatness. Reading is too personal Sorry, am I boring you with......
The power of concentration and calm can stare a tiger into being passive. The beast shall be tame and it's power shall be lame. If not instinct would cause me to crush the wild cat's throat. This may seem like fiction but, I have experienced such power. Eyes shut I grabbed attacker's wrists. Giant Rotwieler watchdogs have seen my stare and froze. Challenge conventional thinking
I am in a world which I despised for so long Networking, unworthy praise from wanting upcomers I make most of this talk white noise As with life you must discern false talk from genuine expression This world seems overly false with the living a false reality Though Shakespeare said the world is a stage I live life genuine with original thoughts, motions and most amazingly here, connections
Sleep is evil It brings less living It brings the unkown to consciousness It also rules me which is disconserting I don't like anything which can overcome me I've been nearly blinded Fought seven people at once I've done things which have supposedly killed others I've gone days without food Yet as I sit and type this I yawn and have globs on my eye corners, the slumber is coming and I don't like the power it has on me Even when I am extremely tired I would prefer to do anything but, sleep. It's a waste of my time
I am purposely writing this while distracted The list of things which must be done are laid out A third has been done and that means nothing There plenty of motivation but, as many artists say they can't rush the process This is a way of justifying procrastination Partially this is why I write here trying to learn how to keep up with my craft I itch and I've squinted, run my hands through my hair Let us see how far I get by the next entry The speed and accomplishment will change tone, mood and hopefully creatively writing well
Persons give me more motivation than I give myself Just a little note from a person I respect can go hours or even days I am unable to do this for myself Now that I have gotten this source of inspiration The space is opwned dur to a woman I dubbed the clearing in the forest She is presently that because I like life as I like the forest but, if things were to get serious and life were hard she would be the oasis because the world would be rough and she would be the water in the desert
Excuse me whilst I travel on very warped road Humor why is it things tickle my fancy Why is it I find despair so funny Not actual despair but, despair fictionally I do not point and laugh at homeless or disabled persons, on the contrary Perhaps it is because peering into the mind of the sick creator makes me appreciate the absurd nature of these thoughts
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