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AAAND here we are again! Just as I was thinking it would be nice to have something to write, I realised that it's only the third of the month, hence still perfectly acceptable to join 100words for December.
I successfully navigated November without
1. growing a beard and
2. trying to complete NaNoWriMo
Instead, I did quite a lot of sewing and far too little drawing, as well as some travelling and generic bumming about.
December is bound to look very much the same, plus a tiny bit of actually working (for money) and studiously ignoring anything Christmas-related.
I am still in therapy. Have been for over two years now. I think I have arrived at a place of contentment though. I currently have a pleasant life, meaning I work little and enjoy myself a lot, but unlike previous such periods I do not feel guilty about it!
I get my sense of achievement from elsewhere now, such as completing a tricky sewing project or going for a nice long swim. Life has suddenly become all too simple - I wonder if I will crash some time soon. But perhaps not. Perhaps I have finally attained my inner harmony.
My heart is tightly wrapped, hidden away under countless layers of old and ragged cloth and tied up with 20 feet of string. I won't let you go near it. The more you pull, the further I will withdraw.
It took years to fix it; long evenings patching it back together it with gauze and plasters, months of carefully tiptoeing through life so as not to disturb the healing process.
It is safe now. I won't let anyone touch it, least of all you. Go away. Leave me alone with my poor, battered heart. We'll be okay on our own.
Dear Mrs Wallace,
Please accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you. Unfortunately there is not much I can tell you about your mother's stay with us. Patient records are only kept for twenty years, so the only thing I have access to is the admission note, which states the following dated 15th March 1952:
Nelly Harper / 27 / Copperfield / GAD
Dr. Copperfield would have been the referring physician, he was practising in nearby Warwick. GAD likely refers to Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I do not know how long your mother stayed with us.
With warmest regards,
The house I live in is old and full of strange noises. Just now, for instance, something like a prolonged, satisfied human sigh. Perhaps it is just my neighbour.
Earlier, as I was walking by my motorbike, I said something like "Poor Spike" (for that is his name), "Poor Spike, are you cold?" And just then a man crossed my path who must have thought I was insane. Or maybe he thought I had a bluetooth headset and was on the phone to someone.
This entry isn't very interesting. That's because I am tired and have had enough of today.
Oh my God I'm three days behind on this, I don't know how on Earth that could have happened, but I do know that I have a friend visiting for the next four days which will take us to a full week and I will never be able to catch up after that so it would be another wasted month and I can't have that, which is why I am now frantically typing away just get anything at all written in the 15 minutes before I have to leave to pick her up from the coach. I'm also having breakfast.
I am utterly bored of about 90% of my music library. Or maybe iTunes is just being particularly crap at playing what I want. I have to stay on shuffle though because if I don't I have to make a conscious decision what to listen to and I am not very good with decisions.
I did decide to have kiwi in my yoghurt this morning, but this was easy as there were only two options: kiwi or persimmon, and I'm not sure persimmon is so nice in yoghurt, though it's absolutely delicious on its own. But then so is kiwi!
Dare I say the unspeakable? I don't think the stupid hoax of the two Australian DJs was, um, that bad. Stupid, sure, but how on Earth could they have known a nurse would kill herself as a result of it? It's not like they planned for this to happen, and comedy radio shows do hoax calls all the time. Well, they'll probably think twice about it from now on.
People love to get outraged about stuff, especially from the comfort of their own sofas or desk chairs. They're also mostly stupid, hypocritical and uneducated. I'm not a fan of people.
As expected, I am now four days behind again. I blame it on my headaches. And my scatterbrainedness. According to my spell check that is not a word. I don't usually use spell check, but it came preinstalled / enabled on Chrome. It is kind of annoying.
This is a pointless entry. That's what happens when you have to catch up. Let me try to think what I did on this day... Sunday! We went to Artist Open Houses and bought some stuff. We did NOT go ice skating as we had intended. And we hung about at home and chatted.
I am alone. All my brothers are gone.
Remember the days when I was young, growing hard, proudly sprouting my first leaves? No, you wouldn't; that was hundreds of years before you were born. Before there were trains, electricity, and the all-encompassing cattle farms.
Why am I the last one standing? Why did I have to see all that killing and destruction? To bear witness? I have no words for the misery I have endured.
But know this, human: the Earth does not forget, nor forgive. You may think it bends to your will. But you too will bleed.
Bleh. The building management company wants £500 from me. 515.92 to be exact. Half yearly ground rent and half yearly service charge. Due 25 December. Such a lovely timing. I learnt a few weeks ago that this is due to some archaic law.
I am poor right now because I am not working. I was meant to work this morning but then the guy didn't turn up and no one bothered to tell me or even apologise so I thought fuck that shit and left and didn't go back. I'm not poor enough to warrant being treated that way.
12/12/12!!! A special day of sorts. I did nothing special though. Just ordinary things. But quite a few of those. Here is a list:
- went swimming
- did some work with my volunteering organisation
- had a nap. Naps are great!
- wrote five postcards and two Xmas cards
- had a lovely bath
- dyed (some of) my hair pink
- painted my nails rainbow for tomorrow's Mika concert
Now the day is almost over. I will go to bed soon as I unexpectedly have to work a half day tomorrow, and then go to London for said Mika concert. Unless it's cancelled.
My brother wrote to me again, but I haven't replied yet. I don't know what to say, or whether I have anything to say at all. "I'm fine, how are you?" seems so meaningless and hollow, and I haven't quite figured out if what is required is honesty or just politeness. If politeness, then why bother? I have enough people with whom I have to be polite and superficial.
It will be Christmas in just over a week and I'll have to call my grandmother, something I'm not necessarily looking forward to either. So much awkwardness and so much guilt.
Is it possible to write about anything but the Newtown shooting today? Probably. Not like I can say anything that someone else hasn't said better elsewhere. But it will be interesting to me if Obama's "we have to take meaningful action" will actually, you know, lead to meaningful action and not just hollow posturing.
The gun ownership debate is just another reminder though that no matter how familiar a lot of America may appear to us Europeans, they are still a deeply alien culture in many ways. Their "right to bear arms" hysteria is just so utterly incomprehensible to me.
"In 250 words, write from the point of view of a ball of yarn being chased by a cat" is one of the writing prompts on creativewritingprompts.com. Here is my version in 50 words:
Woa-aaargh, no no no nooooo *clonk* ouch! Ow ow owheeeeee wooooaaah nnngggh rrrrr plop-ouch! plop-ouch! plop-ouch! plop-ouch! *sigh* Eeeeeee!!!! nnngggghhhh. Will. you. leave. me. the. hell. alone!!! Aaaaargh that's enough! I'm gonna unravel and strangle you! *pant pant pant pant* NNNGGGHH!! Ehn! Ugh! Grr! *phew*
There. Now I have 15 words left which I'll fill with other meaningless drivel. Done!
There are so many things, so very many things. Today I sewed a sleeping bag for an iPhone. The first one came out all wrong so I started again, and the second one is pretty cute. I wouldn't mind keeping it but it's a (late) birthday present, so I'll have to make another one for myself.
Winter has been tiring me out lately. That and headaches. So very many things, and not all good. But tomorrow I am off to London and then to Paris and although the weather won't be that great, I am still looking forward to it.
I look like a washing up brush. A washing up brush with pink bristles. My neighbour got me it for Christmas cuz it made her think of me and I can totally see the resemblance. This is funny to me. Because I have a sense of humour.
My mother on the other hand is offended because I told her I wasn't going on holiday with her anymore due to all the negative comments about my appearance. Well, nothing to do with a sense of humour, really, more with empathy. And acceptance. And letting go of her desire to control me.
Did I mention I am behind again? This is because I went to Paris. I am ok with that, because Paris was amaaaaaaaaazing.
Paris is (almost) always amazing. It is the love of my life - the way other people are in love with a person, I am in love with a city. Sometimes I cheat on it with New York, but it knows that it will always be my favourite.
We had a slightly rough patch twelve years ago when I was living there. But even then it knew I would come back into its arms. It waited for me. :)
This is the third entry I am writing today. I am getting tired. I will stop after this.
Today was Christmas for me, because I got loooooaaaads of presents. I open my presents early cuz I don't celebrate Christmas anyway. They were all aaaawwwweeesome presents! I like presents, especially awesome ones.
As I said I am getting tired, so what I am writing is not particularly deep or interesting or indeed well written. I have a long To Do list for the next few days. Good thing I don't celebrate Christmas so I will have time to do it all.
It is raining, but I don't mind too much for I am drugged up on herbal happy pills.
When I joined 100words again this month I'd actually planned to write "proper", fictional entries, but so far that hasn't happened much.
You know what really grinds my gears? Every few days I have to tighten the screws on my glasses. And now I can't even find my screwdriver!
What I find amusing though is that the building site at Paris les Halles has a viewing platform. To observe the progress of construction! It has a website too. Parisians are so cute!
I try these days to be a kinder, nicer and less self-centred person. Today however I failed.
I was standing at a traffic light waiting to cross. I had been completely soaked by passing cars going through deep puddles the day before so knew to stand well away from the edge.
Then a lady walked past me and stood close, way too close to the road. I could have warned her, there was plenty of time before the cars reached us. But I didn't. Because seeing people get splashed is hilarious.
And it was! But I do feel bad.
I have inherited a rescue plant. He's a weeping fig who used to live in a pub with little light and almost no water so he's in pretty bad shape. I've named him Freddie.
I'm terrible with plants so I'm probably going to finish him off, but I'll try my best not to. So now I'm fussing over him, wondering if I'm allowed to open the window as he doesn't like draughts, worrying that my lounge is too hot for him, dithering over where to put him exactly...
Maybe I am too anxiety prone to be looking after something alive.
Today I met a lady who's 68, has half-white, half-red hair, seven earrings in her left ear that spell "fuck off" and who races converted Smart cars with motorbike engines.
is who I want to be when I am her age.
I am currently in a stand off with my mother, trying to get her to accept me as I am - pink hair, crazy clothes and bohemian lifestyle - and her constant litany is when I will finally "grow up."
Seeing someone 30 years older than me and still being her crazy self has been quite empowering today. :)
YA Fantasy Christmas Story - An abstract
Nick is a portly old man with an unusual superpower. He can fly around the Earth at nearly the speed of light and deliver presents down chimneys. But his quiet and comfortable existence is turned upside down when he discovers he was in fact a saint and a bishop living in 4th century Greece. Can Nick reconcile his past with his duties in the fast-moving 21st century world?
Your young readers will be enthralled by the moral dilemma Nick faces, torn between his historic past and the concept modern society has of him.
I spent a lot of time on OKcupid today. This was entertaining at times but also a bit exhausting, as clearly almost everyone who's on a dating site on Christmas Day is going to be lonely and depressed.
I'm not tho, I'm feeling great, even tho frustratingly I got barely anything productive done. But one of the OKcupid guys gave me an idea for a short story or comic... yet another thing to add to my ever growing To Do list. Having said that, I
already completed four of a total of ten (now eleven) items. Not too shabby!
"Look, sweetie! What
"I'm not sure, but I think we should probably leave now."
"But look, it's all fluffy and... oh my God, is that a puppy?? Well aren't you the cuuutest little thing?! C'mere and let me cuddle you!!"
That was lame. I am lame. Having said that, I have successfully sewn and crafted and written (a letter) and therefore am not
lame. I wonder if I should make some soup now. Maybe I should. I'm kinda done with being creative for the day. Tho technically I am creating something with a soup too!
Wow, it is weird to think that the year is almost over. It was a good one, for me personally at least. Not sure about the world at large. Can you ever say a year has been a "good one" on a global scale? It seems the further we move along, the worse we are for the planet. Are we going to stop being selfish destructive arseholes on time? Or is it already too late? Will I see the total collapse of our ecosystem in my lifetime? Will the deliberately ignorant and wilfully obtuse finally believe in global warming then?
- Mummy, tell me about what it was like outside!
- I've already told you so many times. You should sleep.
- Pleeease tell me again! I will sleep after that I promise!
On sunny days the sky was blue, the colour of your fluffy rabbit, and the heat of the sun would warm your skin. The plants - grass, trees, shrubs, flowers - were thousands of different shades of green, and they would move and rustle in the wind.
- What's wind, mummy?
- It's the air moving about, as if from a huuuge fan. It cooled your skin after the sun had burned you.
Oh dear, 3 days behind again. But this means that I can complete this batch today and be done!
I need to return my iPhone cuz it has an issue with the power button. I have never returned a phone and am scared.
I also have a headache again. Well, not
cuz I have numbed it with painkillers, but I know it's still there. And the swimming pool is closed today, which is an absolute scandal cuz NYE is
not a public holiday!
Wouldn't it be fun if this had a character limit instead of 100 words?
I am a big fan of boxes, even though I am not a cat. I can never have enough boxes. Square ones, oblong ones, big ones, small ones, plastic ones, cardboard ones, stripey ones, flowery ones...
I don't necessarily have a use for them when I buy them, though I generally manage to fill them up soon enough. They are great for hiding things out of sight that you don't want to get rid of just yet.
Then three years later you find them and go "oooh, I didn't know I still had that!" And you finally throw them out.
Thank you for your card. I am unsure why you chose to write now of all times, but I too wish you a Happy New Year.
All is well here. The twins are growing into beautiful and feisty young women; they are 14 now, not 12. Yes, it really has been that long.
If there is anything specific you wish to discuss, or something you want me to know, then please tell me outright. We are long past pleasantries I'd say.
If not, well, I'd kindly ask that you not contact us again.
I wish you well,
The Tip Jar