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BY tinman

01/01 Direct Link
The challenge for the future is to reverse the "I've got mine, so fuck you" attitude that American politics has developed in relationship to the needs of the most vulnerable members of its society. My opinion, one of the first steps would be to reign in the Corporations- make them subject to periodic review on how well they serve to promote the General Welfare. When they fail, revoke their licenses to operate in the economic system. Let's end Corporatism and return to a free enterprise system where smaller producers have a chance to compete.

Corporations must not own Real Estate.
01/02 Direct Link
Let's rename the Defense Department, returning to its original appellation as the War Department. This would immediately lessen the financial drain that the War Machine is upon the nation. Changing the name would change the psychological focus- Nobody would support War, unless necessary.

As the Churches have become more blatantly political, let us tax their income, allowing deductions only for that portion of their income that can be proved to have been spent on aid to the poor and needy, not donated to those who oppress anyone who doesn't fit their definition of a "Christian"; American Christianity is not Christian.
01/03 Direct Link
Let us remind the public that America was not built on CHRISTIAN principles, but on 18th Century, mostly European, Progressive, Humanitarian ideas. This is why the founders of this Nation separated Church from State in their legal definition of what America was and how it was to be governed. It was not that the Founding Fathers were anti-religion, but they knew what a Tyrant Church can be.

Personally, I'm not sure I care how the question of future governance will be answered; I'm seventy-one, I am the past. It's the future that has to care. They'll have to live it.
01/04 Direct Link
I am unsure of a personal "Eternity" as I think most people define it. Ego aside, I'm not sure I want to participate. I am content with Being, and then, nonbeing.

That said, I have this idea that every moment of our lives is captured in the light of its being and travels continuously throughout the Universe, carrying the memory of who and what we were, so that in some sense, we always ARE.

In the end, what is important, is the experience of Now, and the grace and responsibility to make it shimmer and shine as best we can.
01/05 Direct Link
a white man's blues
by colormegray
Third revision

i got me no wings to fly-
got no way to pierce the sky;
what i speak ain't no lie
got me no dreams, except to die.

mornin's come and mornin's go,
stepping on each other's toes;
mornin's dressed in mournin' clothes,
rushin' to that great suppose.

i got me no wings to fly,
got me only tears and sighs,
tryin' hard to catch God's eye,
but got no faith to see so high.

2006?

This was written under one of my PC aliases. Lord knows how many others are out there.
01/06 Direct Link
Spending the day preparing for my colostomy, tomorrow. This means I'm drinking a colon cleansing liquid every fifteen minutes and running to the bathroom at almost about the same rate. Not comfortable, and highly annoying, but it has to be done. I haven't had a colostomy since my original oncologist retired about five years ago.

Part of the routine also means that I'm on a liquid diet and am consequently having to resist the urge to shove something, anything edible, down my throat. This is not my usual complaint, especially considering the unappetizing menu of this place. It's called irony.
01/07 Direct Link
Colonsotomy endured. I was amused, from the beginning, by the assembly line feel. I had this flashback to an old I Love Lucy skit in which Lucy and Ethel are workers on a conveyor belt, wrapping candy. "O God," I thought, please don't let me get a Lucy and Ethel."

I watched their probing and snipping on the computer monitor, as it was going on. Honestly? I haven't a clue as to what I was seeing, but found it fascinating, anyway. There was some pain, but it wasn't unbearable, and I was a brave little soldier. Analysis, still to come.
01/08 Direct Link
It's been at least a decade since I first conceived of the perception that "the only eternity is zero." I play with the idea for awhile, trying to find the form (mostly verse) in which it could find perfect being, but it has never found that perfection, so I put it away again to re-visit later. I keep hoping my sub-conscious will sort it, but so far, nothing much has resulted.

In reality, zero is the only absolute. While you can have more than, you can not have less than, except in bookkeeping and and a few other mathematical operations
01/09 Direct Link
"In reality, zero is the only absolute. etc.. etc." I say that as if I reallyknow what the hell I'm saying. Maybe it would be more honest to say this is what I perceive to be a truth; There is something heads, there is nothing, tails. Existence is either/or.

Religion does not, I think, like that definition. Nothing negates the concept of God; Religion wants to add a category of After, to something/nothing, turning existence into a metaphysical trinity. The collective (possibly, but the individual surely) ego of humanity resists the idea of its something becoming nothing, completely gone.
01/10 Direct Link
When, exactly, MAN recognized non-Being (Zero), became conscious of mortality, is not really known; there are archaeological hints that Neanderthal Man recognized death as a force in life. Whether that recognition occurred in earlier experiments of becoming human, is not, I think, yet known. The point is, the moment that death (personal zero) became rooted in the consciousness of MAN, is the moment that both Religion & Humanity Became.

Let me note that I recognize I have stated this clumsily, and in the most simplistic of terms, here. This 100 word format does not allow for easy delineation of an a large idea.
01/11 Direct Link
Taking a break, today, from all that zero is the only eternity stuff. Don't want to overload and burn out what little brain I have. Not that it was an entire vacation. I found myself sharing some of my ideas, suppositions, with Dr. Chung during our session, this afternoon. Hearing another voice in opposition (too strong a word) to mine, hearing my words repeated back to me, helps me sort. Except for that hour's, or so, conversation, I spent most of the day sorting and cataloging pictures on my computer, assigning tags and etc.; very restful, in an odd way.
01/12 Direct Link
Taking a break, today, from all that zero is the only eternity stuff. Don't want to overload and burn out what little brain I have. Not that it was an entire vacation. I found myself sharing some of my ideas, suppositions, with Dr. Chung during our session, this afternoon. Hearing another voice in opposition (too strong a word) to mine, hearing my words repeated back to me, helps me sort. Except for that hour's, or so, conversation, I spent most of the day sorting and cataloging pictures on my computer, assigning tags and etc.; very restful, in an odd way.
01/13 Direct Link
"Every generation has its personifications of evil. This was true when the fairy people were the prime guardians on the earth that preceded this one, and continues in this evolution of time, in which Humankind rules. Each generation has been seduced by a personification of Evil, endured them, cast them off, and promised never to be seduced again. Even as they swore this, the new personification of Evil was, unbeknown to Man, was already growing in their midst and, after a blush of Peace on the planet, became a new seducer." The slight, frail, speaker paused, her arms spreading outward.
01/14 Direct Link
Martin interrupted before Mrs. Jacobs could continue. "Fairies the prime guardians of earth? Fairies?" Even to his own ears, the scorn in his voice sounded too loud, too wounding in the silence. A murmur of anger began from others in the room, a murmur the old lady silenced with a forgiving smile.

"In the tales, as Men continued them, as Men forgot, or deliberately mis-told them, they are angels. However,whatever they are named, the truth is that long before the appearance of human kind, their were intelligent beings who guarded and gardened this place which we now name Earth.
01/15 Direct Link
Johnny Weir, Olympic Medal winner, is not happy with the criticism he's been receiving from many gay-rights organizations about his decision to participate as a paid announcer during the upcoming Olympic Games, in Russia. As he has generally stated, he, and other athletes, sacrifice a lot to win their positions and they should not be asked to surrender any of the rewards of that position (Ed. in his case, money), just because his "lifetime of sacrifices, should not be ruined by laws affecting minority groups." The minority group, suffering discrimination in this situation, are gay Russians. Weir, himself, is gay.
01/16 Direct Link
Continuing on the Johnny Weir theme, Mr. Weir states that the Olympic Games are about athletes and personal glory, not politics (specifically, political protest). What he means is that the Olympic games are about MONEY, corporate and personal. Whatever the Ideal that prompted the 1894 revival of the games, they have been polluted by Corporations and commercialization, and drug scandals. The athletes participating want the gold, specifically, the kind they can spend. Can't let a few thousand (million) minority oppressed people get in the way of making money. That's not the American Way.

Am I ranting? I suppose I am.
01/17 Direct Link
"You were, are, always first." He felt like he did as a kid making his First Confession, compelled to tell the truth and yet afraid that saying it, speaking it aloud before God, would mark him, negatively, forever. "Everybody around us knows that from the moment they see us together. They know I would do anything, risk anything, endure anything, for your sake. Most of them think you're already fucking me.

Michael interrupted. "Are you finally admitting you love me?

Simon released the burden he'd carried so long. "Yes."

Michael smiled, spreading his arms. "You dumb, sweet, shit! Come here!"
01/18 Direct Link
It's always best, for my comfort level, if I begin any writing project with pen applied to blank paper, even something as simple (hah!) as these daily 100 words entries. I'm 71 years old and not part of the keyboard generation. Hell, I didn't sit at my first typewriter until I took a high school typing class when I was 16. Pen and paper just feel as natural as breathing.

Not that I can't compose on a screen. Once I get my first sentence, paragraph, whatever, on paper, I can switch to the screen and finish the job, there (usually).
01/19 Direct Link
"I go to The Cozy Chicken for the burgers."

Carl started to laugh, "Why would you go to a chicken place for a burger?"

"Because frankly, sweet cheeks, The Cozy Chicken makes lousy chicken. Mark face took on a- you don't know this?- look. "Besides, the manager thinks I'm cute and fronts me free ones."

"We are still talking about burgers, I assume?"

"O girl, don't we have the deliciously dirty mind?" Mark passed a cold beer to his friend and took one, himself. It was hopeful to hear Carl laugh; he hadn't since his family had locked him out.
01/20 Direct Link
The ancients told us the Universe began with Chaos. There are prophets who insist that it will end the same. If they mean a fade into nothingness, out of which, in the earliest Greek myths, it grew, they are probably correct as any theory is likely to be. If they mean it end through the violence of man, no matter. The result is the same. Either way, Nothingness is supreme. The only eternity is zero.

Will there be any memory that existence was? Reason says no; ego hopes yes. Man invented God to support their fear of total, absolute annilihation.
01/21 Direct Link
Have been doing a lot of listening to Christopher Hitchens, Richard Hawkins, etc. (on You tube). Finding they are giving density to my sense of the non-existence of God. While I enjoy their single addresses, I like it much better when they involve themselves in a debate with defenders of the idea.

I will tell a truth, here. The embryo of my disbelief in a deity comes from the lack of evidence (and the anger because) of him in my young life. The seed was my indoctrination as a child in Roman Catholicism; I had questions from the very beginning.
01/22 Direct Link
I've found a new site (skeptics.org) and spent almost the whole day watching and listening to presentations and conferences by various intellectual atheists. I felt like a kid in a candy store tasting all the new product.

I'm suspecting that the subject of atheism is becoming a drug for me. Flash the word in any description of subject matter to be covered by a video or audio and I'm on it like an addict jumps on a heroin hit. I am beginning to feel like I may need to find some kind of recovery program to ease me off this
01/23 Direct Link
There are days this particular exercise is more a chore than others. Today is one of those days. Actually, the whole Internet has been more than a chore, these past couple of days. I've spent most of the last two, three days watching debates posted on You-Tube. Today, all of a sudden, I'm getting a green screen. If I get anything, it's just audio (although, once or twice, the advertisements may play full). Usually, IE just freezes and I have to re-load.

I'll deal with it tomorrow. After posting this, I'm just going to turn off the damn Internet.
01/24 Direct Link
Yesterday, I wept
for lovers who are no more,
singing Requiems.

They say tears heal,
but I keep picking at scabs,
replaying my grief.

I seem to be stuck in a holding pattern, this week, or to use a better analogy, my ambition's battery has died and I'm creatively stalled. I'm not even sure I want to re-charge. I've been here, before, and if the past is any clue, I'll get over it. In the meantime, I just have to endure.

Of course, this does not mean I will endure with any patience. I lost that instruction booklet eons ago.
01/25 Direct Link
I'm not saying it well, but what might be historically interesting is to go back into Church archives and discover how long the Church has been protecting priest-minor boy situations (Fat chance on the Church letting that happen, at least for public consumption). I'm betting there is a long, long (including a few Saints ) history, and the only thing that has made this time different is the ease, and rapidity of communication.

Of course I don't have any objections to gay priests, but I do object to misuse of power and coercion of will where true free choice is problematic.
01/26 Direct Link
Remembering the first time I smoked weed; I was living in Venice, California, at a party, suddenly, a hush fell upon the room. The host brought out the stuff. Very ritualistically, we all sat on the floor, a candle in a bottle in the center of the group. The host reverently rolled the first one, lit it from the candle, took a drag and then passed it to the person next to him. Coming from a Catholic background with all the physical choreography, I remarked to the person next to me, "This is kind of like receiving Communion, ain't it."
01/27 Direct Link
I'm finding the most difficult part of aging being the sense that your world is shrinking. Friends die and are not replaced and your circle grows smaller and smaller, sometimes within days. In the past year and a half, I've lost five friends to Mr. Death. Some, knowing of their condition and the prognosis, I had a chance to say how much I loved them. Too many went too quickly.

I was in the hospital, myself, when I lost Craig. I didn't hear of it until months later. I wasn't listed as family in his charts. My love didn't matter.
01/28 Direct Link
As a LIBERAL person, I don't mind if you disagree; express your disagreement. What I do mind is your pretending that your opinion is fact, without proof. What I do object to is holding to, and teaching an, illusion as an absolute because it's more comfortable, or because some ancient book or prophet, or cultural identity, said so.

The world is a simpler place when things are just black and white. All decisions are made for you; all you need do, is obey. The problem is dogs obey; human beings are human by the virtue of understanding Life is, it depends.
01/29 Direct Link
Speak a million truths and no one will listen, especially it you're a black President named Barack Obama.

The President made his annual State of the Union Speech, last night. I missed it; I watched Supernatural, instead. I guess I'm just tired, after fifty years of trying to act like a responsible American citizen, of hoping that a thousand promises will someday be fulfilled, as long as I stay faithful enough. This has become especially true since 2012 when the Republican Party moved into a take no prisoners attitude against Obama's presidency.

The Republican Party is destroying the American Dream.
01/30 Direct Link
The only reason I don't declare myself an out and proud atheist and cling, instead, to the agnostic nomenclature, is because my emotions demand that when push comes to shove, somebody has to be responsible for the mess, and the beauty, that Creation is, but I don't see concrete, repeatable evidence that Somebody is.

If there is a Somebody (or more likely, a Something), I'll give large odds that it does not fit the anthropomorphic pattern Humanity keeps trying to force upon it. It asks nothing of us, doesn't choose its favorites, and doesn't answer every petty request from its creatures.
01/31 Direct Link
The situation my friends John and Laureen are now being forced to face reminds me, again, that dreams should never be deferred. The circumstances of a life turn on a dime, and plans for tomorrow are made useless in a moment.

It doesn't matter if dreams come true; it only matters that you have them and that you reach for them, despite the odds. The real satisfaction is less the attainment and more in the reaching.

Sometimes in my life, I followed my own advice and here, in the rubble, can say when I did, I won even in the losing.