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Chanukah is in full force. I went to my class tonight and avoided seeing the Kleins, Melinda and Ruth who came to the house and brought a shton of sushi. I'm glad that Melinda is coming by for a hairdo so she can eat some of that sushi. I looked up what to do with leftover sushi. There were ideas for frying it like tempura or stir frying it or just eating it raw and taking your chances. I'm also very upset that tonight is the VIP opening of Art Miami and I didn't get a pass in the mail!
It's Art Basel week and, once again, I have to pretend that I just don't care. I have no one to go with and what's the point of going to an art show alone. You need a companion to discuss. Tonight is the opening of all the shows and I'm not going to anything. I have a couple of random invites but I'm just not feeling it. I'm in a funky funk. It's not good that it's gone this long. I've been in a rut since I got back from my summer vacation. Time to reinvent myself and get busy.
I was just trying to remember the order when conjugating a verb. What persons are listed in what order in the tenses? I, you, he (she, it), we, you, they. There is very little opportunity to use a plural form of you, and we usually just use the singular version. So, what verb was I considering doing the conjugation? Which verbs were the irregular ones? Those were my favorites. I like the irregular. Of course, the regular ones provide a certain comfort, but those irregular ones are put in there to keep you on your toes. Beware the word do.
Thursday and it's just another day. I'm stuck in a funk. It's a funky funk funk. I just go through the moves and at the end of the day, I tell myself, "Self, you made it through another one." It's funny that I wake up each day and think, "What am I going to make for dinner tonight?" Isn't that strange? Well, I think about it and then do nothing about it for a few hours and the it's usually time to go to the grocery store. If I wake and think of it, I take something from the freezer.
Another lazy lazy day. I'm just plain lazy. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to accomplish anything. It's a really bad thing. I don't know what happened to me but I've seem to have lost perspective. I've been down so long it looks like up to me. I've been using that as a mantra for years thinking that it was a positive statement. Nothing could be further from the truth. I should just take a pill and go back to sleep. Being awake in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Back to sleep.
The whole first week of December is gone. It's 3 0'clock in the morning and I'm writing about a week of days. It's only three hours into today, so what else is there to write about except how, looking back, this week just totally flew by. I wonder what it is in our lives that makes time fly or just float. I think that when we're having a good time, we look back and we're amazed at how quickly the time has passed. When you stop to look at the passing of time, and the measurement is in decades - whoa.
It's Sunday morning at 5:30 and I'm wide awake and thinking of what we're going to do today. I know that Raoul has the handyman coming to finish putting up a fence of sorts in the front yard between the two properties. I'm hoping that if someone comes along and tears down that house that they will put up a wall to prevent flooding from their elevated home. I really think this is our window of opportunity to get out of here. I'm on the horns of a dilemma. And I'm feeling Occam's Razor. It burns like a ring.
Monday is just another day. It's no more yucky than Tuesday. The big deal about Monday for the past few weeks has been the Monday class. Somewhere along the line, Raoul started going to Ruth's every night from 5 to 7. The class is 6 to 8. There's one car. Hence, the conundrum. And Raoul is having knees problems. Both his knees are going. It's probably time for knee replacements. I'm watching "How I Met Your Mother." This is an exercise in futility, much like my life has become lately. I'm going to watch TV now and forget about reality.
Tuesday afternoon, I'm just beginning to see. Now I'm on my way. It doesn't matter to me, chasing the clouds away. Something calls to me. The trees are drawing me near. I've got to find out why. Those gentle voices I hear explain it all with a sigh. I'm looking at myself, reflections of my mind. It's just the kind of thing to leave myself behind. So gently swaying through the fairyland above. If you'll just come with me and see the beauty of Tuesday afternoon. That's all I've got are Moody Blues' lyrics. I'm done here. Over and out.
Happy Birthday Dear Old Dad who would be 103 today. Lard have merry, I'm glad he ain't living because being 103 just sounds so difficult. No holiday party again this year. I miss being in a working atmosphere because of all the attendant things that happen. I missed getting a gift card for at least $250 from Macy's. Plus, there's the whole free dinner thing. And open bar. Jesus. Oh well, happy fucking holidays anyway. I'm on my own and I have to create my own joy. So, eat up at the BK Lounge and chow down at Mickey Dee's!
Thursday is a good day. Today is another Thursday. Therefore, today is a good day. It's a good day to die but I'm not going to die. I still don't know my expiration date but that's okay. I live each day as though it's the last. This was a good day to die but I didn't so tomorrow I'll wake up and say today is a good day to die. Who can know their death day? And why am I on that subject? Morbid, I'd say. Death becomes me. I will spit out my bones like an owl. Good day.
Friday the 13th. I like it. Today is a good day to feel superstitious. But I'm not the superstitious type. That's a good thing. I like knowing about superstitions and then breaking them. Although there are certain superstitions that I'm afraid of like breaking the mirror or walking under the ladder. They both have bad consequences that have nothing but badness and bad things. Kaboom. It's just another day. I know that there's a solution to every problem. I know that there's a way to every way. It's all going to work out. I don't have a bad feeling today.
Today Raoul obligated me to drive to a baptism way down in the southwest. It was a 45 minute drive and even with the GPS we got lost twice. I shouldn't have relied on a device and just went with my gut feelings. The streets couldn't be more cleverly aligned. It's all a perpendicular grid and the numbers go higher as you leave the center of town and it's just easy. So, why did I rely on my phone? I was in a mood. And it was way off. I wasn't even aware. We were only about five minutes late.
Beware the Ides of December. And beware of the ideas of December too. I think we may have had a little bit of Chanukah leftover or was it all done in November? I haven't been paying attention. I just go with the flow. It's working for me. I've been thinking about smoking cigarettes but I feel very good for me that I haven't had a cigarette in days. I think about them all the time but I know how bad they are for me so if I don't buy them I won't have them to smoke. But I want some!
Monday that feels like a little bit more weekend. This is what happens when one doesn't have a sense of structure and repetitive patterns. I'm not into the Monday things or the Tuesday routine. I do have a Saturday routine that's leftover from the days of when I was going to work five days a week. Now, every day is Saturday or Sunday! It's okay but it's not. I just need to focus and remember that we just had a weekend so I have to think about Monday and then tomorrow is Tuesday and so on and so forth. Sheesh.
17 is Raoul's lucky number. I think he said that December 17th is San Lazaro Day. I have a medal with San Lazaro around my neck. I say that he's the patron saint of the pitiful, and I think it's sort of right. Whatever. It's ironic that I'm identifying with Judaism and I have a Catholic saint around my neck. I want to go back to the convent. I'm having fantasies. I think I went through that phase with the Review too. And then I got the job at the convent. And then I pissed it away. C'est la vie.
Thunder only happens when it's raining. Players only love you when they're playing. Say women, they will come and they will go. When the rain washes you clean, you'll know. Don't know why those lyrics just came to mind, but that's the way it is. Hump day once again. Every middle of the week is humpty. And it's totally unbelievable that one week from today will be Xmas. Soon it will be New Year's Day. City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, filled with holiday cheer. In the air, there's a feeling of Christmas. Ho fucking ho. And now back to our program.
Thursday before the big day. Tomorrow Raoul is having knee surgery. Things will be different after that. It means that I have to become more involved. I have to feed the birds and cats in the morning. I have to take Isora's dog for a walk. And I have to clean the kitchen. The kids will be here in the afternoon. I can't believe I chose this time to quit smoking. I'm already mental for something, anything to smoke. It's psychological but I want a cigarette, dammit. Oh well, one day at a time baby. I can do it. Yeah.
TGIF baby! I was awake at 0430 because I set the alarm for 0500 and when there's an alarm set, I always wake up before it goes off. It went off at 0500 and we were off. We headed down to the southwest area so that Raoul could get his knee operation. I was at the car place a little after 0700 and took Raoul home in Mitchell's car. I drove back at 1500 because the car was supposed to be ready but wasn't ready until 1830. What a very long day. I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow be large.
Today was a routine Saturday. I left the house early to have lunch with Helen. She was still in bed when I got there, so I waited awhile for them to get her ready. She ate very well and was quite sweet. Afterward, I went to Costco. It was slammed, which makes sense for the Saturday before Christmas. I came home and slept for a little while. Justin and Sandra arrived in the evening. We had BBQ for dinner at Pride and Joy. Afterward, we came home and played on our computers before watching SNL together. What a fun day!
It's that time of year when time is irrelevant. Time just flies. We do things and before we know it, the day is over and it's time to sleep for we need it. I'm writing about December 22 in the early morning of December 25 trying very hard to remember what happened a couple of days ago. It's all a blur. Now I remember! Justin and Sandra were here but I had to go to Ricki's Mother's unveiling at the cemetery way down south and then to a reception at her house. Later we went out for BBQ. Good day.
The kids are still here and I had a standing appointment to meet with a woman at the Aventura synagogue for a dry run of her presentation on January 7. She's a very nice lady but extremely nervous. Hence, the dry run which went smoothly after a couple of road bumps. We were only there for an hour and I met the kids at home and we went to Lincoln Road for lunch with Sandra's father. We actually sat down at the pizza place and each of us had our own particular kind of pizza. It was a good time!
We were at home most of the day just lying around and being quiet. I was preparing the Nochebuena dinner for just the five of us. It was extremely quiet and pleasant because no one said anything! Relatives are not easy to deal with at holidays. After dinner, Sandra and Justin went to Miami Lakes to meet with her sister's family and have dinner there. Today was probably the quietest day of the year. I'm thanksful for so many things. And Raoul even called it the thanksgiving dinner until I reminded him it was Nochebuena. Tomorrow, another quiet day ahead.
This was one of the oddest Christmas Days ever. We started the day as usual, just hanging around the house doing nothing. And then, visitors arrived bearing gifts. As soon as they had come, they were gone. And I continued with the cooking until we finally ate around 1500. It was okay. That's all I can say. We knocked off half an 11 lb. turkey and then the kids left and more guests arrived and left just as quickly. It's because Raoul is not well in his bed of pain. We still have a lot for which to be thankful.
Candy and Scott arrived today and it was a whirlwind kind of day. I have not a lot to say because it's now Saturday evening and I've more or less forgotten the past three days. It's been a total blur. Oh yeah, Richard and Bill arrived too. Raoul was still on the couch all day. And the beat goes on. Candy and Scott arrived today and it was a whirlwind kind of day. I have not a lot to say because it's now Saturday evening and I've more or less forgotten the past three days. It's been a total blur.
The final days of December are becoming a blur. I'm glad that my trail of guests is almost at its end. Sister and her husband are here one more night. We went to dinner with her son and his wife last night so no Shabbat dinner tonight. It's odd that her son is getting a divorce and that I feel closer to his wife. He's an odd fellow and that figures, considering his lineage. My sister and her husband took me to a nice fish dinner tonight and then we visited her DIL for awhile before coming home and bed.
I'm glad that we said we'd leave for breakfast at 0900 because we didn't get out of here until 1030. I was at Helen's at 1155 and she was still in bed. I said to the nurses, if I hadn't come would you have left her in bed and not given her lunch? It's elder abuse, but I can't prove it. She's going to be 96 on Jan. 6 and I pray each day that she doesn't make it. It's horrible to be in that place and I just want her to pass. Life will surely change when she's gone.
I just finished pressure cleaning the driveway for about an hour and a half and I only got about 1/8 done. That's okay. It was starting to rain and it's pretty bad. The only good thing that came of it was that I discovered a pretty bad leak at the hose spigot that's been going for I have no idea how long. I do know that this month's water bill was extraordinary so it's been awhile. I'm so wound up and upset over the situation that I just took a big piece of Xanax and I'm going to rest.
Your doctor should perform blood tests. Tell your doctor if you've been to certain regions. Taken twice daily, it can reduce swelling. Ask if it's right for you. This new year, it's time to get a little crazy. Try a new hobby. Find your sensitive side. Then, what's everyone so excited about? Starting tonight at 9 central. So, I read a study that a man with a dog is three times more likely to get a woman's phone number. I'll set you up with my mom. Why is that funny? It's just not hygienic. I believe a joke is a.
Okay, so what resolutions should I make this year? The usual ones are to lose weight and quit smoking. The good news is that I'm already well on my way with both of those! I quit smoking months ago and I've been on a weight loss journey since September. This year, my trick was to go gluten free and it worked. A friend said that whenever you cut something out of your diet you lose weight. I've also sort of done a pseudo Atkins diet because I've been eating protein in the morning which keeps me from eating all day.
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