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09/01 Direct Link
Rabbit, rabbit. Can you put your penis in the port? I hope not, because if you can, then you certainly have a pencil dick! Not even, dude. That cake is not going to bake itself. If I knew that you were coming, I'd've baked a cake. What the hell kind of construction is that? Go figure. This program made me make a contraction. It's that time of day, already. Do you want to make me happy? That's a good thing. It's September already. Can you even believe that? What the hell? It's a good day to die. That's a thing.
09/02 Direct Link
I thought today was her birthday and I wished her happy birthday but she told me it's tomorrow. I did the same thing with another friend whose birthday is in November. I got the days confused. I have a former friend whose birthday is in February and it's the exact same thing. I'm not good with dates. I don't even know a couple of my very good and close and long time friends. That's a bad thing. And another friend I thought for many many years that it was a different day that it actually is. What a bad friend.
09/03 Direct Link
Just. That's what it was. I worked so I was not observant. But I did acknowledge it. I can't be that good. I'm not meant to be. I wasn't designed that way. I like to think about it but not be that person. It's like the whole food plant based diet. I'm not doing that either but I'm getting closer to my home. I ate a bunch of fish for lunch today. That's good as far as being observant. I shouldn't even be eating that lovely sliced salmon because they have a right to live. They died for my lunch.
09/04 Direct Link
There's a new day dawning. I want to go there for breakfast. I have all the ingredients so I should just make it. I have to go to the grocery store for a few items that I still don't have. Why don't I have brown sugar? That's a staple, dude! There are other things like yeast and baking powder. What the hell good are they without the dried fruits? I have them. That's a good baker. There's a new day dawning. I want to have dinner for breakfast. Or is it breakfast for dinner? I'm not sure. It doesn't matter.
09/05 Direct Link
I woke up today so excited that I don't have to labor for pay. Of course, that means that I'm back to the grind tomorrow and it will be the one year anniversary of being in that job. Of course, it's the first time I ever worked part time and after a year I can honestly say that I love it. I'm making exactly the amount that I wish to make. Of course, it's always nicer to make more! But I'm in retardment so anything I make it just frosting on top of the money from Uncle Sam. Oh my.
09/06 Direct Link
There was a clap of thunder so loud that the house shook. It was frightening! We're getting thunder and lightning along with some heavy duty rain. It's that time of year. It's called the rainy season. There's a situation with the mosquitoes this year. They're calling it The Zika. It's scary the way they're going on about it. I have been bitten by plenty mosquitoes but I guess I haven't been lucky enough to get a zika mosquito. It's all going to work out. I know this to be a fact. But it's still disquieting. It's so noisy in here!
09/07 Direct Link
Well, I didn't go to work today and I ate a bunch of pot candy and I was a mess all day and I ended up sleeping a bunch of hours this afternoon because I was basically overdosed and that's not cool but I made it through. It was all about just going with the flow. I like that. It sure made the day float by rather quickly! It all works out in the end. Someday I will look back at this day and think why was I acting like such a child at such an advanced age? I'm old!
09/08 Direct Link
Another lost day. It's a good kind of lost. There are lost days where I just sit and wonder if it's worth it. This day I was doing. It's better than sitting and wondering what to do. Well, we went to a newish restaurant in the Brickell area. It's sort of a middle eastern version of Chipotle. But those scoops were tiny. What the what? That was odd. And it was really pricey. I guess it's because of the neighborhood. People don't mind throwing good money away. All money is good! What was I thinking? It's going to be okay.
09/09 Direct Link
I'm sitting here writing 100 words and then I'm going to have day being a human being. I'm not a human thinking, I am a human being. I must be. I am therefore I be. Whatever this means. I'm going to go back to sleep. That's a good idea. I don't know where I'm going. I never do. Some days I just go with the flow and other days I create the flow. Today I will go with the flow and I will also create the flow. Tonight is Shabbat. That gives me pause. I will have a good one.
09/10 Direct Link
Give it to me, I'm worth it. I woke up this morning thinking it was Sunday. That's better than waking up thinking it's Monday! I wonder why I skipped Saturday, It's because I didn't really work last week. I called off two days in a row. That was rich. I have never done that before and I probably will never do it again. Today I might go to Costco but I doubt it because I already gassed up the car a couple of days ago so there's really no need to go. It's going to be a very good day!
09/11 Direct Link
I can't let this day go without mentioning 15 years ago. There, I mentioned it. You know that 15 years ago I started working at a convent. I was there for 11 years. Why did it take so long for me to realize I had made a mistake? What is the meaning of life? Just kidding, you know. I have to write 100 words. No more, no less. It's a daunting task, and I do it grudgingly. Should I continue to write when I don't want to? Of course, that's the whole reason for this website. Just write 100 words!
09/12 Direct Link
Comming soon to a house near you. Misspelled words are a pet peeve. Come here, my darling pet. I hate you. That's a peeve. What are we to do? Just get it over with. Let's head to the Zika Zone and throw caution to the wind. We can get bit up! I'm in the mood for a double bacon cheeseburger. How about a Baconator at Wendy's? That's the ticket. I know it would be much better to simply eat some hummus. It's more better and filling too. That's the thing about whole food plant based dieting. It fills you up.
09/13 Direct Link
The number 13 is unlucky, n'est-ce pas? Well, whatever, today is a lucky day for me. Why? I'm vertical! Being alive is better than the other option. I'm not ready to die yet, but today is a good day to die. Keep on keeping on. I don't know my expiration date. It's a complete and total surprise. Supplies! That's a good one. That's rich. It's just another day in the neighborhood. Get to work and get busy. There's much to be done. It's a good day. Just go on. You can do this. There we go. It's all better.
09/14 Direct Link
Happy hump day, dude. I'm not a camel, but I appreciate humps. Speed humps, that's another thing altogether. I am in the mood for Starbucks coffee. I like coffee. I like all these memes that say when I stop drinking coffee is when I start drinking booze. I'm not that boozy but I sure like the stuff! What's my booze of choice. For the longest time, it was vodka, but I am partial to tequila. Specifically for margaritas and mostly because they involve two liquors! That's the ticket. I like blueberry margaritas. That's the ticket. I'm happy now. That's it.
09/15 Direct Link
Beware the Ides of September. That's just silly. I had a moment when I realized that today is the 15th of the month. Wow, we're already halfway through this month. What the hell is going on? I swear time is speeding up. Is that possible? No, but my perception of it has changed. The beat goes on and the pace quickens. Soon it will be Christmas day! That's what's going on. As soon as Halloween comes, we're on the end of the year slide. We will just be at 2017 in a moment. That's the way of the world, dude.
09/16 Direct Link
What good is Friday? It's just another day. Marking the days of the week as they pass is not a good thing. Well, it's the way of the world. We have to mark the passage of time. It's slipping away. Time keeps on slipping into the future. That's a good one. Gd only knows how I feel about you. Soon they will all know. There's going to be a new phase soon. What does that mean? Just look at the birds as they fly past and think of their freedom. They have it easy. Stay on the ground, that's it.
09/17 Direct Link
It's Saturday and it's the 17th. So, what? What significance does this have in the scheme of life? I know not. The beat goes on and the pace quickens. I hope that you didn't block me! I have to go somewhere soon. I haven't seen that many zeroes in a long time. Soon it will be Christmas day. That's a good one, dude. It's time to hit the kosher bakery. I've been thinking of it, so it must be so. Just go there. And while you're at it, go to the juice place and spend way too much on juice.
09/18 Direct Link
Another Sunday that we didn't go to the ghetto farmer's market. That's because I went to Publix yesterday, where shopping is a pleasure. I have to check on the food stamp situation. I don't know what's going on. They put us through the motions about this time every year. And it's time for insurance and tax. The necessities of life! You gotta do it. It's going to be okay. Just go get a frou frou coffee and things will be so much better. I need a nap. Time to get something good and then sleep will come easier. That's it!
09/19 Direct Link
Monday is good to me. Of course, so are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. In other words, every day is a good day. It's just a lyric, you know. Monday is so good to me. It was all I hoped it would be. It's just another day! I hope that every day is a good one. We go through the motions, but then things change and it's time to start over. Lather, rinse and repeat. I think, therefore I am. I think I am, therefore I really am. What am I? A human being is what I am!
09/20 Direct Link
Oh my, 20 days of this month have elapsed and where am I? I am in the same place I was at the beginning of the month. The same place where I was some 20 years ago. Ridiculous, I'd say. Whatever the sitch, it's okay. I'm in a bind and I want someone to cut the strings. That's a good one. The beat goes on and the pace quickens. I have to turn off the TV and get outside to live. It's time to do and not be. Pizza Hut has a new pizza that has cheese in the crust.
09/21 Direct Link
Today was board meeting day. It's not one of my favorite days. I don't like the way people act. It's all show. I wonder why the grown up world is so fake. Maybe that's changing. The young people will not put up with it. That's a good one. The young people are we. Well, we used the be the young people and we just played the same games and now we are the old people still stuck in those old days. What to do? There's got to be a better way. I know it. It will soon be apparent, yeah.
09/22 Direct Link
The relentless march continues. I can't believe that this year has flown. Of course, I still think about things we did back in February as just the other day. I think I have lost the concept of time. I'm good at the present time. Like I'm really good at minutiae. Is that right? Yeah, but the long-term shit is just gone to shit. I used to be really good at guessing people's ages (and weights). I'm useless now. All the young people look impossibly young and older people like myself are just old curmudgeons. Oh well. C'est la vie!
09/23 Direct Link
Today is a good day to do nothing. That's what most Fridays have been during September 2016. Just another nothing day. I think I drove to Costco and put gas in the car and that was it for my activity. The rest of the day was spent in a horizontal position in front of the television. That's what I do with my free time. I love to watch Netflix. Thank goodness for that. Maybe I should just watch it all day and all night. Just kidding! But TV has become much too important for me lately. I don't like that.
09/24 Direct Link
Another do nothing day. That's what late summer and early autumn days have been for me. I'm so relieved not to be worrying about hurricanes either. What happened there? We haven't had landfall for almost a decade. What the hell is going on? Can you say climate change? I think we should get the hell out of here while we can! The sky is falling. I'm in a mood. I need to get some more sleep. That's always a good solution. If you're not feeling well, just go back to sleep and dream some more about the good old days.
09/25 Direct Link
I just read someone else's 100 words about going to Ikea. Here's my story. I love that place. Everything looks so cool, even the fakest of fake plastic plants. It looks great surrounded by other plastic fake things, but once you get that piece into your own home, it looks like a fakey plastic piece of shit. The flimsy furniture is not built for the American sized person. It's all made for those miniature petite type Europeans. I love the idea of Ikea, but in practice, it's shit. That's what the other guy said, but I totally agree. No way.
09/26 Direct Link
Happy birthday to my high school girlfriend. I don't know why I remember this date, but I do. There must be something in my past, but I'm not going there. Meanwhile, today is a good day to die. I didn't die but it would have been a good one. I wonder all the time how I'm going to go. I guess that's one of the joys of growing older. It's something that is top of the mind. You've blown it all sky high by telling me a lie without a reason why. Why is that lyric stuck in my head?
09/27 Direct Link
I feel like letting the days go by. Sometimes they are going by me without me noticing and other times I just sit back and watch time fly. It's all relative. If you don't mind, it don't matter. That's a good one. That's rich. I don't know what I'm writing about. I don't know why I'm writing. What is this all about? I come here every day and write 100 words. This is odd behavior. And who's running the show around here? It seems to be like the wild west. That's why I say we are all Internet pioneers trying.
09/28 Direct Link
Time keeps on slipping into the future. That's good. I wonder why. It's inevitable. Please have a seat. And wait one moment. An operator will be with you shortly. The pace quickens. The beat goes on. And on and on and on. It's time for me to go to sleep. I'm sleep writing. That makes no sense whatsoever, but you gotta get up. Just keep on going. Why ask why? Drink Bud Dry! That was a good slogan. Put a tiger in your tank. That's not good. What's a tiger doing in the tank? I'm feeling a bit tanked too.
09/29 Direct Link
Vocal fry is annoying but only if you pay attention. I'm listening to an actress now who is a proponent of vocal fry. Her voice is totally annoying. Here's what the googles have to say about vocal fry: The vocal fry register (also known as pulse register, laryngealisation, pulse phonation, creak, croak, popcorning, glottal fry, glottal rattle, glottal scrape, or strohbass) is the lowest vocal register and is produced through a loose glottal closure which will permit air to bubble through slowly with a popping or rattling sound of a very low frequency. It's like, totally, ew. For sure, dude.
09/30 Direct Link
It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. The end of another month and what do we have to show. It's that time of year. We didn't think about hurricanes much and now there's one bearing down on us. Lard have merry. It's all going to work out. It's hard to believe that Sunday night marks the beginning of a religious new year. Happy new year, buddy. Dip that apple into some honey and say a blessing. Baruch Hashem and all that good stuff. L'Shana Tova. I think it's going to be a good year.