The second time I took the quiz, my friends and I thought we could trick the monsters by giving them two dogs we borrowed from our friend Charles. We thought, if we fail, they might take the souls of the dogs instead. But we all passed.
Boris the Yak: I have hooves.
Yeti: My feet, they're delicate. I get blisters. The rough terrain, I get cuts from rocks if I'm not wearing shoes. And the snow, sometimes I get frostbite.
Boris the Yak: I like to eat snow.
Yeti: Everyone's always wondering, where's the yeti? Well I'll tell you, I'm sitting in my yurt, nursing my wounds. That's where I am, because even with my shoes, I have problems.
Boris the Yak: I wish I had a yurt.
"What's Really Inside Your Shoe?"
"Is The Earth Hurtling Off Its Axis?"
"Why You Should Worry About Biting Into That Pickle"
"Is Broccoli Bad For You?"
"Is Pearl Cultivation Animal Cruelty?"
"Why Real Diamonds Can Cost You Much More Than Imitation Diamonds"
"Is Princess Diana Still Alive?"
"Dogs Better Than Babies?"
"How Toilet Paper Can Kill"
"Who Was That Mammy?"
"Is Man Evolving To Live Under Water?"
"How Clean Is Too Clean?"
"X-Treme Sports: Too Extreme"
"Congress Outlawing Dial Telephones"
"Babies Are Becoming Less Filthy"
"Are Tomatoes Bad For You?"
"Knives Are Too Dangerous"
I thought she wasn't going to show up. Jen and I had been walking around the neighborhood, until we were completely bored.
"We have to get to the photo studio to get our film developed," I insisted. "Today."
The sky had clouded over. "I think it's the end of the world," Jen moaned, fatalistic as always.
"It's not the end of the world."
I had to get my film from out of the trunk, but I couldn't find it.
"I'm here for Al," I tell her, just as Al Snow, from the WWF, walks in.
"What are we gonna do today?" he asks.
We go into his part of the studio. He clamps my tongue and before I can have second thoughts, he's already pierced it and put in the barbell.