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BY Davey H

03/01 Direct Link
'Tis uno de Marzo
can you believe it?
Me friggin' lazy-o
Hah! should I grieve it?

In the calendar's glare
chagrin I find:
Holy smokes!
No jokes!
500 words behind!

Commandeer thus this patch
and start a new batch
in hopes motivation
sans consternation
and perhaps jubilation
will catch!

'Tis said March comes in
like a friggin' lion
goes out like a lamb
that's shakin' and cryin'.
But this here March
so far has no starch
though I'm sure
at some level it's tryin'.

Up here,
no fierce wind
no lion to blame
wet snow did rescind
with its blanket so tame
but in the Midwest
a whole different game!

Let's hope without jest
those folks' homes reframe!











03/02 Direct Link
With Delaware gig
Still fresh in mind
As the awesome Dal
Served with fresh lemon rind
Remains brain-fixed,
I soberly find
That this grindstone routine
Which had lain in wait
Ground gritty indeed
In its workaday fate!

To paraphrase Murphy
That vivid old gent
Whose 'Murphy's Law' was freely lent:
"No good deed goes unpunished",
I posit: no vacation's unspent.

One always comes back WORSE
To pre-existing conditions
(Aplogies, sick-care 'insurance' industry)
which they can't reverse.

But the dollar calls
As to all it does
and has by the balls
All that is now and was.

So as per the adage:
'No pain, no gain',
Chasing that dollar
Here I go again!





03/03 Direct Link
CAR, ROAD, SQUIRREL

I took a little trip today
along this gravel road;
in a matchbox car
that could go far
thus with its feathery load.

Beneath the seat
4 tires whirl
will they defeat
that darting squirrel?

DARTING is DARING
sans the 'T'
he's darting so insouciantly!
With beady eyes
and a flip 'o th' tail
is he flicking the bird at me?

Zig-zag quick
slick flash so gray
post-haste to side of the road
please stay!

Squirrel black or red
or gray or brown
out here it's said
"trucks mow 'em down"

Yet how many!
So profuse!
To cull 4 litters per year;
and blanket countryside so loose
Driver, please steer clear!











03/04 Direct Link
Up in the North
Sun issues forth
So excuse me
For sounding ignoble;
If it's warm up here
This much should stand clear
It's GOT to be friggin' global!

We sit on our buns
While maple sap runs
Spitting out words
Stickin' to our guns
Expecting this March
To muster some starch
Enabling 100-word puns!

On roads, sand-salt grit
But it's better than goo
In trees birdies flit
They've got stuff to do!
Feathered 'coveralls' fit
In gray, red and blue!

Out in that sun
I should be basking
Yet this is fun
So-called 'social tasking'!

Yea, worlds apart
From those bees and the birds
We call it 'art'
The culling of words
Thus I depart
This poem absurd!



03/05 Direct Link
Fresh back from a visit
To a respected elder
Who for 6 years
Has poured assets
In the burgeoning coffers
Of a for-profit elder-care giant,
Angry nausea sets in.

Such industry players
ratchet up rent
Foisted like clockwork
Each year 4%
On aging loved ones
Whose lives were well spent
Now being warehoused
Because that's where they're sent.

At the end of the day
Sigh and say even though
'It's where old folks stay'
For it came to be so
How to drastically change it
No one will know.

But what if we stayed
With one another:
Son, daughter, father, mother
Held our collective
Feet to the fire
Toppled
the elder-care, INC. empire
Took back our assets
To REALLY retire?
03/06 Direct Link
RULING CLASS SINGS SONG OF ITSELF:

Bill Gates, founder of the giant firm
Which holds sway
Over the OS
Inside the box
On which I depend
To scrawl screeds like this
Has been bumped
Unceremoniously
From his
Bloomberg Billionaire's Index perch.

The index, like Forbes' before it
Seeks to enthrall us
The hooded, red-blooded
proverbially Unwashed masses
Who, to the ranks
Of the Upper classes
Begrudge them no thanks
And sit on our asses.

Both Indexes, it seems
Thrash,
Undulate
Writhe, and
Grapple
Like Jiujitsu warriors;
Their sub-contents
Of rising/falling fortunes
By dint of being similar
To all else that rises and falls,
Changing constantly.

Singing
Savoring sapid swapping,
The Selfish exult
Their skillful dexterity
Moving assets
From one set of eager hands
To another.


03/07 Direct Link
Today is Unpleasant
Queasy.
Pull of moon
On my 77% body-water content?

Or pull of Death?

 
Death.
The eerie, cold sound of it
As it rolls unwillingly off the tongue.

That thing
That frightens all equally
And remains tucked way deep
Festering
Out of sight
Out of mind
To make way for life-pleasures
And daily grind.

Then something happens
Like your 23 ½ year-old brother
Hanging himself
At #80 The Fenway
In inexplicably beloved Boston
March 7th, 1987

Leaving his iced horror
Dangling limp
Lips blue
In final Dreadful Sleep
For a hapless roommate to find
And let out
Understandably bloodcurdling screams.

Yes, then you think of Death
As it gushes unencumbered
From suppressed depths
Where you would rather
Have it remain.



 
03/08 Direct Link
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary
of Brother Ed's irrational act
aided and abetted
by 'good' o' PROZAC®
the only drug in his system
at time of autopsy.

He had been given
and had drunk
the 'Kool-Aid',
as did Eric Harris
of Columbine massacre fame
Cho Seung-Hui of Virginia Tech
and scores of others
too numerous to mention
but searchable
by Googling


Prozac sales alone
amounted to $1.7 billion in 1999
1/3 of Eli-Lilly's total business.

Good news, investors!
With numbers like that
rate depression a 'BUY'.

$1.7 BN buys a lot of advertising
indeed
and lots of protection
for the slickest
best funded
manic marketing machine
in our Franken-world.


03/09 Direct Link
Admittedly, I sullen ranted
And from that foray
I haven't recanted
No, indeed, I haven't tried
To reconcile
That post so snide
That slammed the 'MACHINE'
From which we can't hide
Whose palliatives we hastily take
Soon we, the masses
Can all be fake!
The sham of this
So clearly seen
Make no apologies
To the MACHINE!

To some it may come
As swift surprise
Our big problem
With SSRI's.

And some may think
These Band-Aids® best
An Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
As for me
I'm NOT impressed
The 'buyer beware!'
Advice is best.

My rant's been posted
Said and done
Thus I boasted
Amendment #1!

And thus I step
From this soapbox
To go and schlep
On wooded walks
And play with vigor
Off my buttocks!






03/10 Direct Link
HOT SUN COOKING
Our quibbling masses
Looking to fry
Our frigid asses!

An early Spring
Kids think it's neato
Just had to fling
My first mosquito!

Oh, maple-men
Say, how's it flowin'?
Sweet life's elixir
You'll soon be showin!

But warmer days
Have stanched that flow
Maple malaise!
That much we know.

Yet it's only raised the stakes
Folks clog the roadside
For hotcakes
Sopping with ambrosia sweet
Without that syrup incomplete!

Let's wait a while
For sure you see
The best of style
Is late Grade 'B'!
It's coal-dark radiance
Sweet and sure
Savory caramel allure!

So maple-men
I'll wait 'til 3
To get that gallon jug
From thee!
And after that
We'll have coffee
Thank Nature for
Our maple tree!
03/11 Direct Link
"Go solar, not wind,"
The speaker said.
Not to rescind
The sense of dread
For up in the hills
The crustily bred
Think wind power kills
And won't get us ahead.

"80% of the time
That thing's not spinning,"
Spouted a resident
Who wasn't grinning.

'Twas a meeting of minds
Discourse unrelenting
From mouths and behinds
Hot gas was venting!

Today the sound-scape
Of staccato woodpeckers
Ravens, black draped
Spat like snide hectors
And steadily shaped
All audible vectors
And thus humans quibbled
With faces turned red
Whilst woodpeckers nibbled
All high-fiber fed!

Later that night
Some coyotes cackled
Did they need to fight
The quarry they tackled?

Crisp hoarfrost loomed
With its naughty name
Barred owls crooned
Hoots sounding the same.


03/12 Direct Link
"You are NUTS!!

NUTS!!"

The 2nd 'NUTS!'
I presume
Was for emphasis
Or perhaps
'OOMPH'-asis.

Both Nuts!-es
Were aimed at ME
The tired sap
Reeking of 2-cycle fumes
And sawdust
Standing
In the line of fire
Like a sucker
Trying to break up
A cat fight.

The utterer of the adjective
Used to describe
My ostensible mental state
Nearly foamed at the mouth
Eyes wide as golf balls
Or so it seemed
At the time.

"Hey, I CHOSE this profession,"
I assured the Nuts-utterer.

We, the NUTTY
had just finished
Topping out a
LIRIODENDRON TULIPIFERA
Commonly known as
'Tulip Poplar'
Which 'progress'
Or more likely
LIABILITY
Had dictated
Was wrongly placed
Ergo had to be removed
Hence the adjective-slinging fuss
As we appeared
NUTS
Just doing our job.



03/13 Direct Link
NUTS?
Yes, Indeed:
The year was 1996
The aforementioned tulip tree
Beside a hulking granite office building
On University of Pennsylvania's Phili campus
Could maybe have stood 40 more years
But students and staff walked
Daily under its canopy
Unnerving the
Board.

To me
The climber
1996 also meant
40 yrs of age; a typical
'Boomer' who felt at the top
Of his game and had landed this gig
Thinking it a favorable career
Changing event; maybe
Even a chance to
Branch out his
Own clientèle
Uptown
In PA.

But
That harsh job
Wore thin mighty fast
And despite near-completion
Had to be returned to a few days later
No real big deal, just hassle
Yet this 40-year old
Never got paid
And was thus
NUTS!




03/14 Direct Link
Delving further into those memories,
40 seems young by comparison,
particularly for a kid who refuses to grow up
and insists on remaining in such a strenuous,
bodily wear and tear-inducing profession.

But nothing else holds a candle to it,
nor has any other occupation
held this kid's interest for nearly as long.

One thing that nags, however, is NOISE:
Lots of it, emanating from each
obnoxious-but-necessary
exhaust-spewing device in one's toolkit.
Hence, breaks are sorely needed,
but tough to find when one's young
and immersed in the arbor-grind.

They'll chew you up
spit you out
before a new job you find!


03/15 Direct Link
On the Ides of March
We pause and prune
The apple trees that surely bloom
It's a little early
Boy and girly
But let's not wait 'til June!

So quaff that Java
Have another cup
Snarf your grub
And finish it up
Then hit the shed
Get out the tools
With breakfast fed
We're workin' fools!

Hah! Lookie here
Or over there
That ain't no apple
It's a Bartlett pear!

I shinnied up
And clipped the crown
Slashed suckers off
On the way down
Hoping this season
For umpteen pears
We might not get 'em
Thanks to black bears!

When the prunin' s done
We fondly think
Of looming displays
In whitish pink!

Intrepid workers
Shunning fear
Strong non-shirkers
Surely we're
Not afraid to do it next year!



03/16 Direct Link
Green, green, the masses preen!
Much talk these days about all things 'green'.
That's well and good
After all
I've spent nearly 3 decades
In the 'green' trades.

But 'green' implies much more:
Insulation
Sustainability
Permaculture
Hi-R Windows
Doors
Even floors!

Just one thing I'd like to say
Another color does hold sway
One from which you'll not get away
No, my friend
It's here to stay
May I present
The color GRAY?!

Gray is REALITY:
Aging
Decaying
Receding
Wrinkling
Lessened libido
Unwanted tinkling
One would do ANYTHING
To avoid gray
If one had an inkling.

Yet gray is celebrated
When one reaches 50+
And begins receiving
Unsolicited 3rd Class Mail
From the American Association
Of Rx-enslaved Persons
Whose siren song beckons
Welcome, Pharma cash-cow!
03/17 Direct Link
Gray, gray, the lasses bray!
But men also hate that gray!
We all try and dye
Or wash it away
Thinking we'll look younger, hey!

Which brings to mind
Some fave health nuts
Namely Gary Null
No if's, and's or but's
Also Julian Whitaker
And two now-deceased
But VERY healthy-while-alive gents:
Paul Bragg and Linus Pauling.

Others come to mind of course;
Their contributions to wellness immense
With chutzpah facing life full-force
Yet to aging
Decaying
Weakening
Graying
They, too had no defense!

I thus pause each day
To shave off new gray
Which, if allowed
Would entangle my face
Put the razor away
Then go out to play
Ahhh, yes, to join the rat race!
03/18 Direct Link
HUMiliation is:
Part of being HUMan
As the two terms spring
from the same beginning,
Don't they?

HUMble does, too
And SHOULD join
The others
In holy matrimony,
Because
It doesn't take long
To get HUMILIATED
HUMBLED
And eventually HOBBLED
When you're HUMAN.

But If you maintain
A sense of HUMor
You can more easily
Sail over the HUMps
Even HUMming
As you go!

And though
You're not a kid anymore
Maybe you don't need 2 B
2 cut & paste the sage
Known as HUMpty-Dumpty
Into your situation
And, unlike him
The breakable H-D
You pick yourself up
Flick off the dust
Go out again
And ass-bust!

Because you know
It's way too short a time
Until you're HUMus
Joining earthworms
Or walls of an urn.
03/19 Direct Link
You'll recall
I queried you way back when:
"When we're both old and gray
Can I marry you then?"
Of course we did by no means tarry
In our relative haste to go 'head and marry!

In an outdoor arena
With impatient guests
Packed uncomfortably
Into starched vests
We took vows and fed them
According to plan
But no booze was forthcoming
So they turned tail and ran!

Now we're grayed-up
None the worse for wear
Having moved away
From the noise and haste there
No kids, no debt
Though we don't have it made
Let's not forget
We don't yet have shade!

So relax, me lady
Don't shed no tears
Them seeds we planted
Will take many years!
03/20 Direct Link
I should quit harping
On this aging thing.
After all
Nobody wants to hear it
ESPECIALLY those
In the absurd
Yet querulously SERIOUS
'Anti-aging' movement.
Yes, folks, it DOES exist!

Some of their salient points
Are well-taken
Avoiding the voracious
Sick-care Industry's depredations
Ditto those horrific institutions
Known as 'nursing' homes
Shudder, oh bag o' bones!

But time will arrive
Yes, way too soon
And none can connive
The Hand of Doom!
So let's dance and jive
No need for gloom
We might even thrive
For fun there's room!

Welcome, gray
No need for fear
For now we'll stay
With friends so dear!

Yes, time will come
And away we'll pass
Yup, we'll be done
But we sure kicked ass!





03/21 Direct Link

First up:

Walk dogs

Then dry them off

After all, sleet mixed with rain fell

‘Twas just as well.

Next

Better wash them friggin’ dishes

But first evict a spider

Who became an insider

Against proprietor’s wishes!

A set of pushups

Easily skipped

Strong cup ‘o tea

So hastily sipped!

 

Better get this day started

Oh, can’t you see?

Pay that ‘credit’ card bill

And hastily!

 

Which brings to mind

A very stark fact:

To call them ‘credit’ cards

Is indeed to detract

When actually

They’re DEBT cards

A keen-edged instrument

To slice us with glee

For the top 1% !

03/22 Direct Link
Today is notable
For two significant reasons:
1) My long-awaited E.A.O.S.
'End Of Active Obligation (to the) Service'.

I wasn't much of a sailor.

And since it was peacetime
DO NOT call me a veteran.
I have not, will not
Collect or follow up on
Any benefits thereby.
Leave that to those
Who REALLY served!

#2 for 3/22:
The loss of my Levi's® wallet
Ironically navy-blue
Bought in Groton
Where subs were made
Lost 24 years later
Stuffed with $1340.
Mostly C-notes
Much grief was had!

Then one day
My sweetheart asked
"Are ya sitting down?"
Tattered blue wallet
That's what ya call it
She had found!




03/23 Direct Link
That tattered blue wallet
So well loved
I'd enthrall it
Was once again lost
By the bank.

On a Saturday morn
Me not yet forlorn
An honest soul called
Him I thank!

Yup, this time
A full day had passed
Since blue wallet
Had slipped
From my weak-assed grasp

And slid from the hood
Of my car
If you would
Aye, once again
Stuffed full of cash!

But please understand
'Twas only a grand
Or so, as I vaguely recall;
A good townie had seen
'Old Blue' full of green
And given me
Courtesy call!

Though 7 years passed
I so sadly think
Of aspersions cast
Upon anger's brink
Yet it could have been lost
Gone, Old Blue
So townies, hear this:
I fully trust you!


03/24 Direct Link
Old Blue still stands
Full of useless paper
At my commands
To pay for a caper
Pulled from hip pocket
Though frayed at the edges
She happily fits
Betwixt seats she wedges!

A good testimony
To synthetic fabrics
To house so much money
In and out
Is the rubric
The contents thus flow
But Old Blue stands firm
Out dollars go
So seeming to squirm!

Old Blue berates
Those roughed bills' perfume
But tolerates it
And makes more room
Oh, and for plastic
A space is made, too
She's so fantastic
This wallet of blue!

Like Joe Frazier of old
She's well put together
Indeed to die bold
Like a fine hunk o' leather
Dear to a dollar
And so to me
Guess I should holler
She's cruelty free!



03/25 Direct Link
YOU CALL THIS MANUFACTURING?

Oh, cheap plastic crap
You flimsies and FAKES!
We've wasted our money
On sh-- that breaks!
Thin, molded and puckered
Your bright-colored junk
Again got us suckered
We bought it - we're sunk!

We should have realized
Right off we were burned
Cheap crap we despise
Will it last 'til returned?

You'd think that by now
We would have learned
Such sweat from our brow
These dollars hard-earned
Funds that we squandered
On plastic detritus
At times we've pondered
If Mall*Wart did spite us!

When breakage occurs
We fly into a tiff
Sling epithets, slurs
Yet like lemmings to cliff
Return once again
Into shopping's foray
To replace our cheap crap
That we just threw away!



03/26 Direct Link
Your arms around me
As I writhed
In the throes of a serious nightmare
Got me to thinkin'
How selfish I've been!

Sorry for all the times
Grouchiness
Intolerance
Impatience
Ignorance
Laziness
Indifference
Slothfulness
Forgetfulness
And downright STUPIDITY
Have intervened
In our now 20-year relationship!

Oh, how I wish
Like in that Kenny McChesney song
"I'd have done a lotta things different!"
His words, not mine
But I couldn't say 'em any better.

That THING in the dream?
Couldn't put a finger on it
And it WAS an 'IT':
No face, no name
Not even a body
But it scared me shitless
A 55 year-old man
Shouting out nonsense
From an REM sleep
Like a pink, petrified baby
One I hope you'll keep!

03/27 Direct Link
I could go on about the pathetic state of US manufacturing, but won't, because I'm part of the problem!

Hey, look at it this way: We all drive Hondas, Toyotas, Subarus, or if we're not afraid to use way more gas than necessary to reach any given destination - Range Rovers.

We use - and prefer - Husqvarna or Stihl chainsaws and purchase sweatshop-assembled i-whatever's - all originating in foreign lands.

Since we common, non-mechanic folks aren't picky, we appreciate the cheap-assed tools and auto parts provided by Chinese manufacturers and need to keep buying them frequently for obvious reasons!



03/28 Direct Link
The day after this one, meaning March 29th,
I was slated to undertake internal sojourning,
and hastened to play 'catch-up',
but not before being infuriated
by profoundly intractable disconnections
leading to inability to post diatribes like this one.

But in retrospect - that place where all things
take on a clarity they lacked in 'pre-spect' -
it's just as well the post got bleeped
by one memory-sucking browser.

For if I had been pontificating
or otherwise being presumptuous
or demonstrating even one iota of pomposity,
then 'twould have been better left unsaid,
and that without dread!

Cue from smart 100-worders:
Paste B-4 post!

03/29 Direct Link
So today
Was the big day indeed
But not so big
I hadn't seen it before
Around 50 times, 2 B exact.

'Twas yet another sip
Culled from the immeasurably deep
Great Physician's Teapot
Which, though I've repeatedly steeped
Therein for 22 years
Remains
Difficult
Arduous
Painful
Harsh
Always challenging
EVERY TIME!

Our present Teacher
Refers affectionately
To the Buddha's Teachings
As "A big, sweet cake:
Whichever part you eat
You get the same sweet taste."

Oh, but don't seek answers from ME
Fair reader!
For I AM A NEOPHYTE!

Suffice to say
Getting out of the house
Remained a usual obstacle
To reaching that much-needed cushion
In time to not be embarrassed.

Such is the nature
Of this disorganized house-holder!





03/30 Direct Link

The first day

Of course

Was predictably sleepy

Throbbing

Painful

Emotive

Creepy

Sure to be gainful

Ensconced 'twould keep me!

And what, you may wonder

Can be both 'harsh' and 'sweet'?

As if a blunder

That's not yet complete? 

Therein is irony:

As per the simile:

“Though one may conquer

A thousand times a thousand men in battle,

Yet he indeed is the noblest victor

Who conquers himself”

(- from Sahassavagga: ‘The Thousands’)

Butt-up against

My weak-assed self

I drink from the process

Pluck book from a shelf.

Sign up

For this method

An ordinary Joe

Or Josephine

However you know

Emerging more clean

A well-greased machine

Refurbished

To homeward, go!

03/31 Direct Link
The Following Member
Has FINALLY Completed March's Batch:

DAVEY H.

Y'all know the score by now:
"Yeah man, 100 Words?
Piece-a friggin' cake.
I could do it in my sleep!"

Famous last fewer-than-100 Words!

'Oer Raisin Bran® & cup 'o tea
This poetry slam
You'll get from me
I'll sit, not stand
Impatiently
Cursing punctuality!

The keyboard clicks
Whilst floorboard creaks
Hope it sticks
For a couple weeks!

Up we go
& up I catch
Finish, you know
This last month's batch!

31 days is quite enough
So through the haze
Do you read my stuff?

How's my spelling?
My use of inflection?
Is is blithely compelling?
Does it need correction?