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BY Davey H

08/01 Direct Link

The Boss man indicated his desire that paperwork be submitted by no later than sundown – and that was last friggin' night.
No need be uptight; this, as in all similar circumstances, is how Davey H handles time:
if it is time sensitive, then all the more reason to blow it off until time is available.
That being said, it is now Monday, and unlike shrewd Italians – and others who wisely take Monday off – Davey H is fully ensconced in what will surely be a bust-ass routine.

All will be fruitful and kitchen clean.
Davey is dutiful; know what I mean?

08/02 Direct Link

Here a line should be inserted indicating that the preceding composition’s requisite100 word limit was quite recently achieved.
For such frivolities, indeed Davey is wishin’,
as he’s playing word catch up, fishin’.

But you, fair reader, don’t need to know that.

Let us say that Davey, not to slip,
had gone on a somewhat extensive trip.
As this missive was written
with scenery he's smitten
and hasn't yet bitten his lip.

But he must say within this essay
that a sad debacle unfolded;
for his notes, if you will
fell into some dark swill
and his own stupidity he scolded.

08/03 Direct Link

First stop: Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and of course Allentown, from which Bethlehem, depending on which map you look at, seems to be merely a carved-out afterthought.

We were in this pit 'o the woods hot on the trail of the Moody Blues in what would be a highly spirited performance in an outdoor venue next to the Sands Casino dens of iniquity.

It is really quite remarkable how this formerly bustling, fume-belching steel mill complex has been more or less completely converted to modern-day feel-good entertainment venues, art galleries, and various eateries.
But other industrial real estate lies in the offing.

08/04 Direct Link

It indeed seems Bethlehem – that much-touted ‘sleepy little relic of the rust belt’ – is presently bursting at the seams with 'Build To Suit' construction progressing at a fervent pace all around the vicinity.
Old rail beds have given way to nice flat expanses of foot-navigable land, but for now, we won’t know what future busy-bee excavators might have in mind for those spots.

One stalwart steel age giant remains and appears to be doing quite well: Lehigh Heavy Forge, with its various machine shops and foundries arranged in a sprawling, immaculately maintained series of structures harking back to busier times.

08/05 Direct Link

Like a little kid pondering planned, puerile sneaky entry into a burgeoning toy store, Davey ambled to the nearest concrete stairway leading up to Lehigh’s Machine Shop #1 (he thinks) and gawked to his hearts and fart’s content at whatever humongous machines laid therein.

Not much to see, though at least the glass on the door was reasonably translucent.

The whole Forge ‘campus’ was bathed in the eerie puke-green glow of mercury vapor lighting, with nary a security camera in evidence. Had anyone approached the garrulously gawking Davey at this time, he would have bellowed and begged for a tour.

08/06 Direct Link
The forge had an appropriately cool logo pasted to the gable of one of those giant shops, the tallest barn-like structure with all the lights on and from which emitted an occasional loud hissing sound. Yes, even the biggest, baddest heavy forges need to pass gas.

In researching this mammoth structure upon returning home, and ultimately equipped with a more reliable computer and Internet connection, Davey found this remarkable firm’s Website in short order, albeit after much fussing with other minimally important obtuse online distractions.
The company posts product data in .pdf documents which are chock full of industry lingo.
08/07 Direct Link

It turns out that Lehigh Heavy Forge performs ‘double vacuum degassing’ on its massive ‘backup rolls’ – those superbly molded, spit and polished spindles, used, we presume, by other still-operating steel fabrication firms who buy such hardware for mashing cold rolled steel.
So the hissing and pissing was related to that step in the process.

Having no clue as to what ‘backup rolls’ were, Davey was nonetheless fascinated with the whole paradigm, though souring at LHF’s braggadocio as to having ‘assisted in winning two World Wars’ in the process of becoming a cutting-edge manufacturer at the forefront of giant forging techniques.

08/08 Direct Link

The ‘Steel Stacks’ at the Bethlehem grounds are perhaps the most spectacular, surprisingly non-rusty and towering approximately 230 feet into the air.

Yet equally surprising is the utter absence of flashing red safety blinkers – those curious little appurtenances affixed to most tall objects or edifices with the purpose of allowing pilots of small airplanes to better see, hence not crash into, such supercilious structures.

Nonetheless, with their sheer soaring heights and mega-mechanical glory, and nightly basking in the eerie multicolored glow from a bevy of floods on the ground, this bank of stacks, folks, is a sweet sight to see.

08/09 Direct Link

We interrupt this insouciant narrative to present a giant wart on the bum of our sordid nationalistic past:
In case American flags were waving with “patriots” bearing false pride and genuflection on this day that SHOULD have lived in infamy, some of us paused with wonder at how little attention was given to Hiroshima, which goes down in history as one of “our” most egregious WAR CRIMES.

The allied bombing of Dresden, Germany actually yielded a larger body count than Hiroshima did, though the harshness and utter mindless cruelty of that horrific act gets zero mention these days.
Still proud?

08/10 Direct Link

In 1995, Bethlehem Steel shut its traps and squelched those old blast furnaces forever, leaving rust and rats to take over the premises, although no speculation as to rodent populations was forthcoming at Davey press time. He basically inserted that mischievous tidbit in a fit of piqued artistic license.

After this gaping hole was unexpectedly punched in Pennsylvania’s industrial heartland, the little Town of Bethlehem got its advisors together with some artsy folks and with a little – or a lot – of help from friends in the local casino ‘business’, began aggressively funding and refurbishing these grounds, keeping the stacks intact.­­

08/11 Direct Link

Regardless of which memories were emblazoned in our minds from this Bethlehem experience, a couple of things surely stood out:
Those old furnaces were so incredibly majestic!

We'd like to do a more in-depth written history perusal of the poor souls – no doubt many long since deep-sixed – who tended those monoliths in their fiery heyday. It could fill libraries.

And then the perfect weather during this outdoor concert: had it poured buckets, we all would have been utterly screwed, as no covered pavilion was in evidence.

Hey, pardon the silly question, but shouldn't 'pavilion' have two of the letter l?

08/12 Direct Link

After leaving this artsy-farsty complex with its airbrushed exteriors intermingled with soon-to-be restored stoney arched structures, we hit various pikes,  'shunpiking' a bit with southward trajectory. And what a scenic route this chosen one was!

Green was in show this time of year
as we did go without any fear.
Upon each knoll said green was embossed
onward we did roll, although we got lost.

Pausing with reflections of raffish prudence
we begged directions from a gaggle of students.
One pecked at his “smart” phone
and uttered “oh, dear,
you have no good way to get to it from here!”

08/13 Direct Link

Curiously Lost and Befuddled

Whilst surrounded by highways
and byways
and such,
your ways and my ways
were confused much!

Yes, 'twas rather irksome
though signs we did read
how little we knew, um
without a news feed.

The miles ticked away
and rarely were counted
no help did convey
from GPS dash-mounted.

The struggle was better
despite its slight cost
sans GPS fetter
how better 2 B lost!?

Hey, it was okay,
we weren't under the gun;
so commenced the fray:
we were out to have fun!

Thus this feel-good foray
would come to an end;
that's it, friend.

08/14 Direct Link

We were boarding a dog
yes, a gentle dude
who would look agog
when presented his food.
You could slice and dice
but however you cut it
he thinks it not nice
and wants anything but it!

This was the longer leg of our summer trip
and this dog would beg to get him a grip
on a cat or a rat or a bat,
yeah, he'd hustle
so I guess that is that,
because he's a
JACK RUSSELL.

A Jack Russell, indeed,
of white, black and brown
and house cats had best heed
when this tweed comes to town!

08/15 Direct Link

Tent City

Unbeknownst to us, horrors were unfolding for penurious tent dwellers in other locales, literally as we set up our dilapidated gaggle smudge of tents and screen-house in this, a decidedly pricey campground.
Might as well strap ourselves in; it would be about a week's stay here.

Somewhere else – not sure where, as we saw a video of it much later on – militaristic police, using box cutters and possibly giggling all the while, were slashing tents of homeless persons.
Shameful beyond belief!

That's a paramilitary MO: roust up those without a pot to piss in, then piss on them.

08/16 Direct Link

Davey had been feeling like SHIT for a couple of days and finally was able to put two and two and however many pertinent numerals together as to the cause. That headache was all too telling: clear-cut signs of caffeine withdrawal.

Please permit a glaring and wholly inscrutable point of reference worth inserting here:
“caffeine” is one of Englsh's quirks in the sense that it shatters the maxim-mold of “I before E, except after C”.

So this malaise was no great mystery, as he had left the coffee and tag-sale carafe getup at home.
No coffee-making rituals, no buzz.

JONES.

08/17 Direct Link

Davey sweated it out, this coffee-less trauma, relying instead on rather mild but reasonably ass-kicking Jasmine green tea as a carry-over crutch.
Yet little did he know how auspicious these ardors would be!

With dogs in tow, the two camping occupants headed over to a local health food store to scoop up multifarious victuals and Lapsang Souchong tea – the only reasonably priced option in the bulk section.

Pausing briefly to puzzle over the sale bin, Davey snatched up his copy of 'CAFFEINE BLUES: Wake Up to the Dangers of America's #1 Drug'.
No he did NOT wish to read it.

08/18 Direct Link

But ‘Caffeine Blues’ really hit the spot. At times Davey couldn’t put it down. Of course it went without saying that being relaxed in the camping atmosphere – with screen tent enclosing the picnic table that held books at just the right level for the farsighted to read – made a huge difference in attention and retention.|

The book is peppered with facts. Yet it flows with an irresistible narrative, including quips, quotes, and anecdotes from real people in real life situations. All were adversely affected by caffeine, or worse, caffeinism; likewise, such patients presented positive testimonials upon reducing or eliminating caffeine.

08/19 Direct Link

Wow! I mean, like, Holy Sh**! This guy hits caffeine right on the noggin with a 20 pound friggin’ sledge. Dayum – when you get to reading about just how bad things really are, you start to wonder how you got this far.

For example, when did coffee klatch discussion ever center on such juicy topics as blood clotting abnormalities, adenosine receptor aggravation with attendant elevation in stress hormones including adrenaline, tachycardia, and adverse effects on arrhythmia – in addition to irritability, anger and outright hostility?

The pot ‘o coffee that commingled with a butter-slathered stack ‘o hotcakes would be sorely missed.

08/20 Direct Link

Then on the other hand, one’s “hey, wait a cotton-pickin’ minute here, hear?” moment would arise upon perusing such overtly alarmist literature pertaining to one’s ingestion of their fave morning bitter-assed beverage.

Indeed, one could well query: ‘who the f*** is correct?’
Would it be Michael Cherniske – who wears only a mere MS after his name? Hells bells, at least it isn’t BS!

Or does the avid coffee drinker search for life’s meaning ONLY with the express espresso caveat of copious coffee consumption continuation – taking in only positively reinforcing information regarding same?

Who do you listen to in this game?

08/21 Direct Link

So let me grasp this – and maybe even get it right, er, correct: 1) Everything – up to and including the ever-so-innocent ubiquitous coffee bean – is BAD for us. (With the peremptory caveat that 'bad' carries inexorably disparate shades of meaning, ergo it depends on who you listen to.)
2) Moreover, citing # 1, the substance that DOES NOT lead to addiction hasn't been invented yet. So quaff that, carafe!

Hey, what was the upshot of today's corporate-sponsored pro-coffee textual perusal?

The site trumpeting magnanimous health benefits of coffee was 'LiveStrong.com', which apparently was a corpo-brainchild of the now-disgraced Lance Armstrong.

08/22 Direct Link

Did Lance know in advance
he'd have tight-assed bike pants?
Or worry in a hurry he'd ride over ants?
Would he or could he
come clean perchance?
Or just ride the tide 'o testosterone dance?

Anyway, most of the health information on the LiveStrong site has little or nothing to do with bicycle racing or its participants, regardless how tight their pants.

Peering at these articles, it is overwhelmingly apparent that every little tidbit, each nutritional information sound-bite slice has an industry or three making sure that their wares get positive press seen by as many gullible eyeballs as possible.

08/23 Direct Link

It never ceases to amaze
how the Web plays.
But with most in a daze
as they verily graze,
it stands to reason
most stuff doesn't faze.

Pausing to update one's anti-virus definitions,
set permissions,
bleep SPAM,
for Web cam ham
and waste a bunch of time
on a social media slam,
the erstwhile computer so-called worker
may let more important or urgent things slide
in her/his pellmell journey Net-ward.

Weeds sprout,
tiles lose their grout,
and with consternation,
constipation
keeps sh** from coming out.
But coffee is hot
and fresh from the pot,
so tipple some from the spout.

08/24 Direct Link

Any readers unfortunate enough to follow the grate Davey H's insouciant cracklings may wish he would cease and desist. Which brings up an unimportant anecdote:
A gentleman went to the doctor complaining of a wart on his face. Previous practitioners had recommended a bland diet, at which the new doctor scoffed. “You need more spice in your life,” the doctor huffed. “Specifically, a daily cayenne pepper application directly on the affected area, in this case the bump on your face, which will begin the healing despite your squealing.”

So the gentleman did as told, and commenced to
SEASON THE CYST.

08/25 Direct Link

Enough of this TRIPE! This world has fundamental problems that are NOT being addressed one iota via Davey H's ridiculous posts. But is that not okay?

After all, what the f$%# could he do about any of it?

Could he intercept F-16s as they strafe huddled imprisoned masses in Gaza? Indeed, can he question the advisability of that area having already received 13 kilotons of bombing – equivalent to Hiroshima and then some?

Oh, maybe Davey H could summon Google's sharpies in a mission to find and rescue those 200 schoolgirls in Africa.

I mean, don't they have friggin' Google Earth®?

08/26 Direct Link

Aye, Google Earth®,
Such adware mirth!
Behold this Web of SPAM took birth!
They spy on us
so spry, no fuss
So let’s slam Google for what it’s worth.

And then, as if Hiroshima needed more bad news, even 70 difficult, miserable years out, biblical rains came to give them a rout.

But we didn't hear a whole lot about it; we were up to our asses in our own domestic disasters, with police MURDER of Michael Brown and serious riots in that Ferguson town.

But Davey H rails just like a canker
and this entails he’s no news anchor!

08/27 Direct Link

“Your battery is running low (13%)
You may want to plug in your PC,”
- thus said the so strident warning to me.

This admonition was one to ignore;
with stubborn volition
I pecked out some more.

Then, with nothing
but bone-head to thank,
the screen without fluffing
went totally blank.

It figures that battery wasn’t too able
here without flattery on picnic table.
This dropping of power
was surely foretold;
‘twas less than an hour
the charge wouldn’t hold.

But the PC got credit
on this journey I led it
‘cause it saved my stuff
and didn’t forget it!

08/28 Direct Link

Hark! We interrupt this adjectival slam
to declare what a dank-ass FOSSIL I am!
But hey, that’s okay;
at least it’s not SPAM,
so commence, if you may,
to read from this ham.

Davey had harkened back many times to his steelworker days, and delighted his spouse with tales of the pastiche of personalities that comprised that bustling shop.

Some days, the grit, dust, and noxious fumes from welding and cutting operations filled the air to the point that you couldn’t see from one end of the shop to the other. And that was a distance of maybe 200 feet.

08/29 Direct Link

Jim Campbell was the primary ‘white hat’ boss-man, and quintessential go-to guy for us, the orange hard hat working stiffs.
This meant he most likely came up through the ranks as opposed to entering the firm through college or other elitist means.
So the guy had requisite people skills, keen sense of humor, and a surprising amount of flexibility.
But we were taught not to trust white-hats.

Lew had the biggest toolbox and ego to boot.
At times, of course, his own horn he could toot.
Nicky Jeanette disliked Lew, you can bet,
but else-wise did not give a hoot.

08/30 Direct Link

Nicky, however, took a liking to Davey, and in keeping with the high level of joking and pranksters’ mischief that so permeated the place, took aim at Davey. Nicky could literally SMELL Davey’s naiveté and gullibility.

Davey was a gung-ho worker, not slacking off for a minute; perhaps one part job-scared, but just plain jubilant to have finally landed employment that didn’t involve busing tables or washing dishes and breathing grease fumes.

It must have been a Monday when Nicky approached Davey, and with a stern look on his face, ordered him to ask Campbell for a ‘sheet metal stretcher’.

08/31 Direct Link

Indeed, Nicky LOOKED serious, waving his arms in a motion that would imply what this so-called 'sheet metal stretcher' tool did.

In keeping with his on-board naivete, “Protestant” work ethic and desire to please, Davey waltzed into the office and gleefully announced Nicky's request to Jim Campbell, who immediately frowned and muttered, “those f***in' guys!”

F***in' guys, indeed: A few of them stood in a grinning gaggle outside the office watching the proceedings. Even Jim Campbell squelched laughter.

Davey had been HAD; he was the perfect joke, with his pink nose made even more so with the heat of embarrassment.