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BY Davey H

05/01 Direct Link

Today is the day we do thee ensconce,

though we may be a wee bit tired;

thus no fuss or emotional response

for none of that is required.

 

Whew!! What a relief.

No more grief

and no need for a paper sheaf,

because today we had us a safety brief.

 

It was not an in-depth one, however;

more along the lines of a checking all the gear

to assure it was okay

so we wouldn’t work in fear

upon this blust’ry day.

DaveyH. was ripe for winning,

though on the way

to his dismay

his old snow tires were spinning!

05/02 Direct Link

“Bummer,” he thought,

as he powered his non-Hummer® up to the lot. It was pretty unnerving and Davey yelled “SHIT!” to do that much swerving

whilst not deserving it.

So he got to the top

at the customer’s castle,

so happy to stop

and avoid one more hassle.

That sh** was redacted

as he then got distracted:

 

Then, not feeling fine

he read a headline

about some cuts to Medicare.

What else could you call it

but an assault on the wallet?

Thus moniker it if you dare. . .

You won’t be enthralled, because it is called

a non-system of sick-care.

05/03 Direct Link

An annoyance that is so profound:
this weather strip coming loose.
It makes you want to nail it down;
else-wise, it’s no use.
It happens, of course
this time of year
when the slushy ice force
just rips it out, y'hear?

When we think back about that louse who would turn his shack into a slaughterhouse, for a time the future did look grim, but fortunately townfolk did defeat him. They were not going to take that crap; BOINGGG! a FEATHER IN THEIR CAP!

Despite a bit of legal spending,
the story had a happy ending. . .
[to be freekin’ continued]

05/04 Direct Link

as slaughter with its guts and blood
went to the dustbin with a THUD.
Kudos to the legal team
that killed the killer’s slaughter dream!

And as the foregoing story concludes,
the townfolk were happy gals and dudes.

And so it is on to the next big distraction:
Yet another day, one rife with frustration
at wresting the way of this life at the station.
Oh, you could write reams
about how you abhor
the job that just seems
to need you out the door.
Thus, quit this spate of late for the date
nasty habit of yours I implore!

05/05 Direct Link

Glitch #1 on what looks to be a long, possibly obnoxious string of obstacles: got all the way to Rob M’s and realized NO KEY.

And none hidden,

not even in an imaginary midden.

 

The dogs barked furiously and smeared spittle on the door window: “INTRUDER ALERT!”

“Hey!”, they might say,

“it’s you we will hurt!”

 

Dutiful canines, both they were,

and shedding not a little fur.

So Davey H got back in his cur

whilst uttering an expletive slur.

 

Back the 5 miles or so

he would have to go

to get the key and then back he’d be.

 

05/06 Direct Link

The trucks, aw-shucks, they carry their loads,
as all manner of tires whip salt off the roads.
Wind howling fast
and strident and loud;
and white salt we passed
is amassed in a cloud.

Heads-up to municipalities utilizing de-icing salt: Hey, we understand sodium chloride is the cheapest of the 3 or 4 possible salt options, but it’s also the most corrosive, phytotoxic and unhealthy product you can use. Moreover, it’s only workable down to 15° F, whereas magnesium chloride is effective to 5 degrees Fahrenheit. Calcium chloride falls somewhere between the two, and is slightly less harmful to plants.

05/07 Direct Link

As an added bonus, calcium chloride rusts out our cars and trucks a little less aggressively.

So put that in your plow and stoke it.

Then to this:
Traipsing through the snow
he had no idea where he was,
but the dogs knew where to go;
good thing they were here because...

Patience, gnarly apple tree,
with ‘pomes’ they call them
in the fall
a fruitful harvest? We shall see. . .
Hark! You cannot count them all!

The tree man pruned each apple tree
and he was so perplexed;
at times the handsaw bit his knee.
He wondered what was next.

05/08 Direct Link

Listen to all manner of music until it gets too noisy. 
Then, having so listened, you come to the realization that, while music may indeed be therapeutic, ear candy or just fine and dandy, you really don’t need it. In a sense, it is akin to ice cream in a diet.

So this March had starch
and plants felt mighty stiffed;
the ice, not nice, not once but thrice
had us all mighty miffed!
Then hearkening back six years ago,
one March had lots of heat;
the birds and bats
would tell you that’s
a March that can’t be beat!
05/09 Direct Link

Outside in the early crispness, a hawk soared above all those petrol burning things made of mostly metal but containing lots of plastics and a smattering of rubber and other byproducts.

“Are you listening?” Max asked Josiah. “Not just no, Jo replied, Hell No!”
“But I mean, are your ears perked to things that matter, you know, stuff you would really give a friggin’ flyin’ flip about?” Jo puzzled over this request for meaningful information, not having recently given it a second thought. "Well, I guess that ranks another “Hell, no”, he huffed.
And so some more time was bought.
05/10 Direct Link

Okay, okay, don’t stop at WAWA,;
instead we play with our Hasegawa®.
Yes, in the spring, winter, summer or fall,
you could stand on that thing and be 7 feet tall!
Yeah, some are bad but you’ll be badder,
when you clamber up on your Hozzie ladder!

Striving while driving and going ape
on these roads in such piss-poor shape.

Lost a day in here somewhere.
But still, Bill,  you can call Sarah @ this #:
(788) 710-0000 and let her know you’ll soon go for a consult, but not an insult. And don’t forget Gabbie, whose number is understandably not listed.
05/11 Direct Link

Productivity waxes and wanes,
and creative impulse comes and goes;
dark blank epochs are the worst of our banes
as the pace of normalcy slows.

So what? One may ask when taken to task 
these doldrums, these stumbling blocks?
A solution comes
when we’re up off our bums
and get out to take some brisk walks!

Oh, before we forget, this past March marked the 15th anniversary of “our” ILLEGAL Iraq invasion and subsequent hostile takeover of all oily, squishy things the neocons and libertarians held dear: a hoped-for privatization of resources NOT THEIRS but ripe for the plucking anyway.
05/12 Direct Link

How did that work out, huh? Not very well, eh? Certainly not the ‘Project for the New American Century’ privatizers’ wet dream.
And hey, why don’t we ever hear about that Vatican-sized US embassy in Baghdad?
No more mention of this debacle will recur on Davey H’s posts.

The radio spat,
“Please join us weekdays at 5 pm
for national and international news.”
Thus it was reported, but Davey H retorted,
“no, thanks, I so choose,
as your news and views
and wretched ooze
just sickens my insides;
when news does cease
that will bring peace
if ever peace abides!”
05/13 Direct Link

The usually verbose Davey H was, like anyone else, appalled by the 15th ILLEGAL Iraq invasion anniversary that he said he would no longer mention but just did anyway.
  
Then later came reports of bombings in Texas by some coward who later bombed himself. Perhaps ‘appalled’ was too lame a description. But what good would it do to hear about it? The dreadful news could only lead to more and more unsettling feelings and instigate possible stomach ulcers. Looked at another way, Davey H had bills to pay. So he will keep his nose down as he trundles around town.
05/14 Direct Link

Winston Churchill once inspirationally quipped “Nevah give up!” Say that three times and you, the reader —as well as any grads listening at the time — might just get a charge from it.
The portly, booze-pickled Churchill also “famously” requested, “give me 300 Sherman tanks.” Well, thanks, sir poker-faced Winston. You won the war.

Shorter shade-tolerant and malleable underlings and underclass members may have hailed the portly whiskey-filled sir Winston as a hero.
But he was not the best of these
in that era so deemed bucolic;
as a fifth of liquor per day, yes, please, 
which made him a “functional” alcoholic!
05/15 Direct Link

Note to these:
look up the book ‘Lightning and Trees’.

Davey’s off to work
and showin’ some hustle;
never to shirk, but rather use muscle.
Keeping some apple trees
in their true form;
yes, if you please,
before it gets warm!

Spring fling wring sing,
no more snow we dread;
on each warm day
with no dismay
a layer of clothes is shed!

On the other hand,
your pineal gland
is getting a bit uptight;
let’s hope the pineal
will adapt to the real
and not artificial light.
Well, that shouldn’t be a problem;
some bright sunshine will hobble ‘em.
05/16 Direct Link

How’s this for sharing?
As springtime passes,
is Davey NOT wearing
his darkened sunglasses?

Mind fart salacious interruption:

What if the cyborg named Jason Bourne
liked to gorge on hardcore porn?
Could we then state
he’d create a big schism
by slopping his slate
with a spate of fresh jism?

So what the heck?
What’s up with big tech?
Your data, you know, oh, Jane and John Doe,
is on the side with the biggest stacked deck.

We MUST go out;
first in mud, then in drought.
Hey, bud, don’t shout!
Not a dud, you have clout!

So don’t flout.
05/17 Direct Link

Holy Smokes! Is it really 5:30?
Damned if it ain’t!
Awake! Awake to the rooster’s muffled crow;
let’s have an out-take. . .
and outside we will go!

Life is getting to be a full time job. The day-to-day hassles and maintenance preclude any meaningful time off, extended recreation, or intentional mindful reflection.
And so the full-time occupation continues unabated. No corners to cut; none significant anyway.

The one young chap at the auto parts store who once queried “how goes the struggle” is long gone, having been replaced by a succession of employees, some of whom are nearly as witty. 
05/18 Direct Link

The present day help is friendly, knowledgeable and usually informative. The loyalty card is nice, too. Buy on sale, get a bump on the card, and every four times get 20 bucks off. That’ll work. Every little bit helps.
Davey H will rue the day
that he has to relinquish his elderly car,
the these guys
and that favvy card
have helped the most by far.

Rob, the ace mechanic mentioned in previous Davey H posts, had warned Davey about auto parts in general, noting: “there’s a lot of CRAP out there.”
Note the excessive use of the word “there”.
05/19 Direct Link

Then, Ben, he felt misplaced as he erased at least five TwistErase® mechanical pencils.
This was a grievous bummer, of course, not only because they were $5.00 apiece if you were lucky enough to catch them on sale, but they were also the flat-out BEST option for hassle free scribbling.
Oh, this fidgeting scribbler had wasted so much money on many inferior plastic pencils in the past and had quite ironically found good old wooden Ticonderogas vastly preferable!
After all, as per the company’s boast, there must be a valid reason that they sell half a billion pencils a year.
05/20 Direct Link

So what the hey?
If it’s going to break anyway,
what’s the use of going with plastic?
Experience would rightly say
it isn’t so fantastic.

Now Davey H wagers that any millennials
reading this would tell him not to get more pencils but rather to get a life!
“Face it, dodo, they would say,
“without a tablet or “smart” phone, you’re a friggin’ dinosaur.”

“Point not well taken,” Davey H would reply, not shaken, wryly but not slyly.
Not the best in his class,
he could be a smartss.
At least when provoked,
he joked,
in a perilously penciled morass.
05/21 Direct Link

Back a ways, one could query: who among us remembers cassettes?  RU wary? Time was when they were good technology. Bad as they were, it still beat the pants off 8 tracks.
 
Recently, Davey H pulled a dusty copy of Chuck Mangione’s “Feels So Good” cassette off the shelf where it had languished as a horizontal surface on which lint and dust could accumulate effectively for the better part of twenty years. Popping it into the aging automobile’s cassette player, surprise erupted when decent sound came out! Imagine!

So that gives a clue as to how old that car is.
05/22 Direct Link

Yet, due to privacy and security concerns, Davey is loath to disclose year, make, model, or any other identifying features of his aging trusty rusty. In fact, let this be a stern admonition to all users of 100Words.com: it is one of the LEAST secure sites you will find on the Web. Don’t put ANYTHING personal on it and don’t link accounts containing anything the least bit revealing or confidential! You’ve been warned, not scorned.

Stuck behind a big dump truck
that looked like it had power,
yet on the road it hauled its load
at twenty miles an hour.
05/23 Direct Link

“Great! I’m late!”, he fussed and fumed,
as an appointment was missed;
then a stroke of luck
released the truck,
but man, this guy was PISSED!

What’s that clunking?
Can you hear it?
Better get spelunking
while you can steer it.
So get the car and then unlock it;
over thar, hey, grab that socket.
And while said car has many a quirk,
that’s all the more reason to get to work!

It’s 9:27 with engines revvin’
it’s off to the store for a price;
it’s vitamin C for thou and for thee
with its health benefits oh so nice.
05/24 Direct Link

Yup, that vitamin C, yes, that comes after B
will be good for thee eventually.
Yes, indeed, U will C.

So whirlwind busy,
she is in a tizzy,
not keeping her bats in a locker;
she gaily enthralls
that she has no balls,
no kids and no skids and no soccer!

So soon you’ll sit down
and close both your eyes;
with nothing profound,
but maybe surprise.
Fleeting and flitting 
those closed eyes are hitting
some potholes inside the mind.
So chill if you will
as you inspect each breath;
and try not to ponder
old age, ills, and death.
05/25 Direct Link

Cows in field, some lying down;
some standing on landing,
some black, white or brown.
Soon, of course, will be a manure yield
with houseflies descending upon said field.

After the preceding sentence, which was the last sentence for the purposes of the previous essay’s review, a period of silence was kept.

Now, out of silence, sort of: Davey H emerged this morning from a 9 day stint of non-speech, otherwise and somewhat dubiously known as ‘noble silence’. It’s part and parcel of a technique within a tradition that shall, for the purposes of this post/batch/set of essays, remain unnamed. 
05/26 Direct Link

After all, as he has ranted on prior occasions on these pages , the more oblique one is when posting on insecure sites like 100Words.com, the better.
That being said,
let not this you dread;
it’s just one more thread to keep your head fed.

So anyway, the non-speaking engagement in the form of the aforementioned seminar of undisclosed duration at an equally undisclosed location took place at a date sometime in March, though, as per previous mention of 100Words’ insecurity [ad nauseam], the precise date or dates shall remain nebulous, ambiguous and elusive. Suffice to say, the silence was conducive.
05/27 Direct Link

On the coattails of that observation, Davey H hastens to add that he is usually quite reluctant to emerge from any given period of non-speech. Delving into one’s inner workings can, at times, take on a life of its own, and it is a process, needless to say, that is best done with one’s flapper SHUT.
So what?
Well, what about speed-speak or flatulence?

Hah! You have a point. Those emissions can have an impact but don’t carry the attendant cogitation, so they are more relegated to static, such as that emitted from right-wing hate radio on the AM band.
05/28 Direct Link

Comic – not cosmic – interruption: Whilst working on a recent Jumble©,
Davey H had a decent mumble;
the solution blew him off his ‘tocks:
he was muzzled by thinking inside the box.
Thus, with that rude interruption’s
thankful completion,
Davey returns to this wordy accretion.

Ending a self-imposed jaunt of non-speaking is never a task to be taken lightly; rather it should be tiptoed into like a naked sprite gingerly entering a cold shower. To that end, Davey H shunned any immediate opportunities for chin wag, preferring to postpone it for the better part of the first day out, at least.
05/29 Direct Link

No point getting the jaws greased.
Wait until inner quiet has ceased,
then come, please shoot da shit
and gorge in the feast!
But wait a bit
and make sure you’re not fleeced. 

Davey H, therefore, remained true to his non-word – a sort of informal vow taken alone and uttered to no one else in particular – to rigorously abstain from ‘chatter both necessary and unnecessary’ until such time as he saw fit. Plus, it would be best if his mind could flit. Ergo, the foregoing however many hundred words are the result of this wholly selfish but moderately productive effort.
05/30 Direct Link

Having not said much of pith or substance in the previous various and not-so-sundry paragraphs, Davey H nonetheless feels justified and vindicated in the sense that, after all, this whole writing thing is essentially one big experiment – an exercise in perseverance and discipline that writhes and melds into one’s daily habits and rituals until, at some point, one actually DOES say something pithy. [Wow! In the grand tradition of wordiness, that sentence packed a whopping 63 words!]

Moreover, when surrounded by others similarly orally shackled during the aforementioned seminar, silence gets compounded and constructs a sturdy foundation of non-verbal masonry. 
05/31 Direct Link

Once broken, however, the warm and fuzzy quilt of silence tumbles quickly and precipitously, headlong into cacophony like the proverbial house of cards. Determined, therefore, to be the wildcard in this equation, Davey H stubbornly zips his lips, at least for the sublime being.

“So when you bags aren’t yet packed
and everyone else has yakked,
you’ll soon find that, in fact,
your sanity’s intact.”
Thus spake the grate Davey H, not yet sacked,
in expository fashion,
having relished vocal silence
with unfettered passion.
It was interesting and at times bizarre
to hear others rattling as if in a bar.