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BY Davey H

01/01 Direct Link

So today was a soggy one: a day during which the grate Davey H had hoped to catch up on paperwork, but other tasks begged to intervene.

Places to be and folks to meet;
objects to see, lots on his plate;
off of his butt, no time to explain;
needing to cut a whole new chainsaw chain.
By himself, without a crew,
that Davey elf had lots to do.

Now this: Davey writes sometimes in stages
but now he’s behind by about 6 pages.
Rolling down (censored) hill,
a need to downshift;
in a similar manner 6 pages to sift. 
01/02 Direct Link

His scribbling is usually aligned with his beliefs; regardless of what you’ll find in his briefs.
So now he will put paper to pen
and give it a good go-‘round again.
So hey – don’t knock it; block it.

Whew! What a day!
That much Davey could say.
It started in the usual casual slow,
then a misfortune and anger did flow.
And when said grief and temper abated,
a slight relief: one chipmunk relocated.
Later, three trees were pruned.
Attuned!

Boy oh, boy – where ‘ere you find ‘em:
a tractor convoy!
And eau de joy. . .we got behind ‘em!
01/03 Direct Link

So today was a soggy one:
a day during which the grate Davey H
had hoped to catch up on paperwork,
but other tasks begged to intervene.

Places to be and folks to meet;
objects to see, lots on his plate;
off of his butt, no time to explain;
needing to cut a whole new chainsaw chain.
By himself, without a crew,
that Davey elf had lots to do.

Now this: Davey writes sometimes in stages
but now he’s behind by about 6 pages.
Rolling down (censored) hill,
a need to downshift;
in a similar manner 6 pages to sift. 
01/04 Direct Link

But said nerves wouldn’t do his bidding,
so he wryly observes he was only kidding.
Heading off to work, and then,
the worker thought it a day so long,
like listening to a hackneyed song
over and over again.
The humdrum drills
they stay the same
as pols and shills
play a friggin’ game.

Away we go, music soft and low.
What’s your fancy, Nancy? Honey Tupelo?
 
Don’t open the fridge for a tidge:
primary lines down ‘oer yonder ridge.
That’s right. Power cut last night.
‘Round 3 am whirlwinds lashed; 
fright for us and a whole bunch of them
01/05 Direct Link

The day began, man,
and a slew of chores did ensue.
A drive through the hills,
brushing off the chills,
then the radio spoke
as it played soft baroque
much to Davey’s thrills.
Next, we rolled into (censored) at 5:30 pm
and found a parking spot.
But what grief – a parking meter –
did it cost a lot?
Put quarters in it; a 2 hour limit.
Well, it’s just as well.
We had come so far
in this old car,
it needed just to dwell.
A quarter to spend, a few to keep;
small town portend: at least it is cheap! 
01/06 Direct Link

Then off we did go
accompanied by Haydn’s 5th piano concerto. What a good way to start the day, eh?
To Pamela P’s, if you please;
he did thus the trailer convey.
 
Once safely ensconced at Pamela P’s,
and in an effort to keep things positive, Davey H refrained from political debate,
as he tends to think many pols belong in a crate. All discussion to the contrary
would not permeate.
 
Then, relief, as the task at hand
involved listening to the John Lodge band.
Now those are pluses we could use:
the great John Lodge of the Moody Blues!
01/07 Direct Link

Meanwhile, in a memory plucked from the not-so-distant past, a beefy Hummer©®™℠ pulled up, unsurprisingly, to a gasoline pump, taking up two parking spaces, it seemed, in the process.

The Hummer’s owners no doubt lived in a house, but now they were taking their rolling ‘house’ out for a spin. Their fatuous conspicuous resource-hogging consumption was okay;
they were Americans!
What more could one say?

Davey let his mind wag on that train of thought for a moment, then flipped back to the present. It was a decent work day as Pam P’s, and it was time to get crackin’. 
01/08 Direct Link

A pull on his flask
of piping hot Teechino®©™℠,
and his lips were smackin’.
Fun time over.
Nose down,
he began to work with nary a frown.

Later, when avoiding reading blogs, Davey H was informed – from somewhere in that ethereal realm commonly known as ‘cyber space’ – that 'when everyone’s a publisher
and few and far the reader',
our troubles have just now begun,
and life won’t get much sweeter.

The explosion of our rife newsfeeds
means wonders never cease;
with corollary that no one reads,
and that’s on the increase.
To the still-literate, non-tweeting minority
is offered this admonition: 
01/09 Direct Link

keep up your chins,
don’t bump your shins,
as good books are still being written.
Also, please look up ‘DepartmentOfInfluence.org’.

Davey rolled on as the sickening stench of gasoline fumes filled the cabin.
Home dust reduction tips flowed from the Today’s Homeowner.com show as Davey H thought of the irony: “WOW! Dust is the LEAST of my worries!” he mused as the sharp bite of heptane/octane vapors tickled his nostrils.
Hell, at least it was 93 octane – whatever that means.

Tip: one learns sooner or later never to load up on junk one sees by the side of the road. 
01/10 Direct Link

Has that lesson been learned?

Later, it was off to the places, sans races.
So with a gulp and a chew,
no time to swallow;
Davey did poo-poo
the mud in which we wallow.

Independent, dropping out,
he had long ago dreaded the election was a rout in this process with laws to flout.

Anyway, last night brought fright
as a left front tire blew on the (anonymous year, make & model) vehicle his (also anonymous) family member was driving. This would not normally be a big deal, but the call to ‘arms’
[lug wrench & jack] came in at 12:30 am.
01/11 Direct Link

It sure didn’t hurt that the rim was in dirt,
as a soft landing was a good thing;
but Davey was short-tempered
and therefore quite curt
at the thought of soiled lug tightening.

Now for some constructive nonsense:
Light green kamikaze dash bash Ira Flado.
Hey, Jay, can you say that Flado
once played with Play Dough®©℠™?
Oh, screw! Then, what’s more:
things for you at the hardware store.
With projects to do, that’s what it’s all for.

Davey elicited varied responses from the gal he named Tweezer upon his suggesting she handle all future scheduling issues and phone calls. 
01/12 Direct Link

Later in the day on an eastward foray,
Davey was heard to blurt:
“with tires well greased,
our speed has increased,
now let’s take in a (censored) concert.”

Yes, this was the last in a short series of (censored) concerts, the most recent having been a mere 4 days prior to this one.
What a friggin’ indulgence.

It was off to the airport and by going 80,
we made it a sport in our old car so weighty.
No cops. That was tops
as we surely were speeding;
yes, that dance took a chance
with the law we weren’t heeding. 
01/13 Direct Link

Next, to the airport – an ocean of noise,
as texts were slung by tense girls and boys.
The harried, the hurried,
how fast they have scurried;
to leave there, the pinnacle of joys!

Davey felt his eyelids getting heavy as mantra-like so-called music droned from banks of speakers that dotted the ceiling.
The machine-like impersonality of it all
seemed so overwhelming.
Rare indeed is the instance
where one sees a close friend at the airport.
 
Having thus sojourned to the state of (censored), the pink nosed traveler
washed his hands incessantly,
having relinquished temporarily
the bonds of strenuous manual labor. 
01/14 Direct Link

It had been a nonstop flight, and any exposure to germ-laden surfaces was minimal, yet his hands still just FELT filthy.
A family visitation week ensued in this town that, like many of its ilk, was home to vast ghost-like expanses known as ‘malls’.
Oh, they wanted to stay open,
and yes, they had the balls;
despite what they were hopin’,
fate had it in for malls.
The brick and mortar era,
though, was very nearly gone;
it couldn’t have been clearer,
so it goes to Amazon.

Later, the acerbic Seve non-Bellasteros had sent out an e-blurb to Davey H 
01/15 Direct Link

and a few cohorts complaining that Mary Jane would ‘never change’. This was met with incredulity on the part of Davey H, who tended to believe otherwise. And since Seve non-Bellasteror had a quick temper, any contrarian ripostes from Davey H would be better quelled than trilled. Better safe than bitter. For it was Davey’s experience that Mary Jane (not a metaphor for marijuana, but an actual flesh and blood person) needed
to be cuddled with ‘kit gloves’ treated.
That way, civility could be implemented.
Truth be told, Seve non-B was not only tempestuous but impatient. He had tried to 
01/16 Direct Link

prod, coerce, convince, harangue, poke, urge, hassle, arm-twist and cajole M J into singing a few songs for a little holiday video. He noted that she “bitched and refused” to comply.
[What a brash friggin’ guy!]
Had Seve non-B ever remotely considered the possibility that it was HIS harsh, overbearing approach that accounted for the less-than-optimal results? ‘Nuff said. But don’t tell him.

Daily quota splendid norms;
Minnesota, fetid storms.
Balderdash is what it takes;
make a splash in our Great Lakes!
Trapezoid and chocolate bars;
asphalt scraped to dust up cars.
Incense, nonsense, chirping birds;
recompense for fruitless words.
01/17 Direct Link

Last night, discussion ensued,
prompted by a zealous dude.
His air-brushed mug
was on the screen
– oh, such a lug
that we had seen!
It didn’t take Davey long to scoff,
and turn that friggin’ squawk box OFF!

It would be a great relief when the huffing puffing from that haranguing election ceased. 
Paper ballots were the order of the day for Davey H and cohorts.
Paper and a small pencil stub
touched by the voter
and handed over to a nonchalant but smiling clerk – this made for a very down-home
satisfying experience.
Anonymity is protected
with voters not rejected.
01/18 Direct Link

October was nearly history: on the 30th thereof, Davey was ensconced in a detailed reading of David Cay Johnston’s “The Fine Print”, and intrigued by the scurrilous underhanded tactics employed by America’s largest firms.
That’s the stuff at the thought of which the ‘great unwashed’ squirms.

Traffic leaving (censored) was unbelievable, leaving Davey on edge. “You might as well hit me with a sledge,” he moaned.
As time ticked by – well chronicled on the rented (censored) sedan’s dash screen, Davey’s equanimity wafted out the window. To top things off, not one, but two tornado warnings were issued for (censored) county. 
01/19 Direct Link

The warnings would hold until 3:40 pm.
Damage was likely; flying debris a given.
Dark skies transmitted the threat.
Hey, this wasn’t friggin’ Kansas. . .or was it?
Davey H cannot say; after all,
this IS an insecure website – not given to common sense protections
or protocols such as HTTPS Everywhere.

“Take cover now” went the mantra. But a warning was still not a certainty, though, in standard weather parlance, it DID carry a tad more weight than an ‘advisory’. So what would the car-bound traveler do should she/he be in the direct path of Mother Nature’s most ferocious weather events? 
01/20 Direct Link

That bridge up yonder, Davey surmised, would be tiptoed across when they reached it.
Directions to the eventual destination were scrawled semi-intelligibly on a slip of paper. Not the most secure means of archiving, mind you, but electronic data storage also had its vagaries. You could both feel and smell Nature’s eccentricity in the ambient atmosphere as Davey’s vehicle approached the ghoulish skies.

Looking back on the visit, Davey had uttered this stanza upon departing: “more fun, less Hannity” – directed at his hosts who tended toward near-saturation levels of Fox “news”. ‘Twas not fun, but rather a plea for sanity. 
01/21 Direct Link

After all, as per Fox “news”,
it makes us fall in the Net of Views.
What a big difference, then, it would make,
if from all the news we could just take a break!

Overall, a reticent Davey H felt reasonably satisfied with the visit, having been content (accent on the second syllable)
with less CONTENT (1st syllable accented).

Onward, back to the proverbial salt mine it would be, having ended the visit, you see.
They must have thought they were some kind of wonderful once they set the clocks back an hour. Leaves hadn’t even fully fallen yet from 
01/22 Direct Link

the trees, according to them fretful damn Yankees. And Florida wimps? They couldn’t have given a flip either way. Regardless, the weather was almost always nice and balmy down Florida way, they said, And quite frankly, f***ing BORING.
Davey didn’t care for either weather extreme and considered the temperate zone most beneficial for the purposes of growing one’s own food – especially tomatoes, or, well, most vegetables and fruits anyway.
“Leave those leaves.” he had said, adding “they are the soil’s best friend.” Later, after grass got off its ass and grew, he would add clippings to the leaf pile, 
01/23 Direct Link

along with sawdust and other organic entrails to create topsoil that he hoped would look like pipe tobacco when finished.

That day, to start, was dank and dreary,
and Davey did fart whilst feeling weary.
It would be a challenge, standard fare;
out in the landscape of trees stripped bare.
 
Soon would come a day
when he’d rest sore muscles;
hold iron at bay,
take a break from the tussles.

It was at this juncture
he had a brainstorm:
go have acupuncture
and get true to form.

So Davey doesn’t think he’s too unfit;
not eating Twinkies®©™℠ or other shit.
01/24 Direct Link


But this one thing does make him frown:
he needs to get his pulse rate down.
A buddy told him “no surprise,
but try this breathing exercise.”
Then Davey replied “I’m not so sure,
not having tried it, I’ll need to know more.”
Then, when asked if he voted,
old Davey said yes, he had choice;
on the ballot he wrote that oh, yes,
he did vote,
but alas, he was only one voice.

Thus his one vote was cast,
too soon in the past,
in a process so terse and succinct;
then he danced a jig and got back 
01/25 Direct Link

in his rig
and headed from the precinct.
Thus with voting was complete,
no need for toting a receipt.

Davey H began the day with a bowl ‘o granola.
Yes the grate Davey H was greatly defiant
and also, you see, not Paleo compliant.
‘Eat no grain’ the Paleo puppets say,
‘then your pain withers away’.
But old Davey H retorts:
“we need those grains when we play sports.”
“Besides, if grains and pains
are what we like,
you shit for brains
can take a hike.”
Yes, Davey waxed as tough as gristle,
adding “those Paleos just make me bristle.”
01/26 Direct Link

Digestive dysfunction
was the order of the day,
and it was at this Junction
he heard Tony say:
“Don’t eat what you should,
and munch what you shouldn’t,
because it’s not good;
if you should then you wouldn’t.”

To a bewildered Davey H, that preceding passage made no sense,
and it stands to reason
it won’t for the beleaguered reader, hence.

Now as for Davey to his tools [not guns]
he sticks; spewing out puns
as he shuns
politics.
He takes to the woods
with a 6-pack of dogs,
as they dump their goods
among brush, leaves, and logs.
01/27 Direct Link

Down throughout the ages
everyone must know:
philosophers and sages ask:
where does the time go? 
Ponder a moment,
then you have to say
without pause to foment:
time gets frittered away.

So life goes on
and won’t turn on a dime;
now before you’re gone,
STOP WASTING TIME!

Next up, the country hickcs pondered the watery expanse that lay ahead of them. A little sleet fell early in the season, and it wasn’t Nature’s fault,
but as Davey noted
whilst tools he toted,
“let’s hope they hold off on road salt!”

So here’s another Davey-gram so typical of him; 
01/28 Direct Link

because he’s such a crazy ham
who scribbles on a whim.
But that’s okay; at least today,
to say he makes no sense;
It was because
that’s what he does
right here in present tense.

OFF TO ANOTHER DISTRACTION

Today: what a day!
But he took his black bag,
unclipping it from its hook;
it was his fave
that prankster Dave;
for it contained SCRATCHBOOK®©.

Then he laid down some words
like a pile of fresh turds
so readers should not be surprised;
before much time was gone,
this adjectival hard–on
had been wholly circumcised.

Drat! So much for that.

01/29 Direct Link

It was Veteran’s Day and the tough-talking former reality TV show host had to give the obligatory speech. It was worth noting, however, that said former TV show host had never visited an active war zone. But no matter; what good would it do for the itizens of any war-ravaged country to endure a visit from a so-called world leader – much less one that didn’t seem to be leading? That is a thought feeder we should be heeding.

Then, the next day saw some sun.
Not quite fun.
California fires burned fast then faster;
before they expired, an unfettered disaster.

01/30 Direct Link
Ultimately, ‘twas not so nice
for folks to be in Paradise.
A torched gas station here;
cars on the road,
ignition of fear
for flames not slowed.
But the days were short:
abort! Abort!
Mother Nature cut them short.
Then yet another news report:
this fire is a spectator sport!
So NBC will dish the goods
from California’s tinder woods.

‘Twas not that Davey didn’t care;
for he was on a treacherous dare.
Rolling on and going alone,
50 in a 35 zone.
Though the fire was dire,
a pundit joked:
out east in the mire,
they were getting soaked.
01/31 Direct Link
Now this: faster, slower, higher, lower, longer, shorter, bigger, smaller, taller, fatter, slimmer, hotter, cooler, wetter, drier,
liar, liar, pacifier!
Well, you name it, nothing is ever satisfactory in this craving factory.

Stop. Spew fumes at idle. Cross the tracks and see how the proverbial ‘other half’ lives – or rather, exists.

Victim, ticked ‘em, rockets fired;
dictum licked ‘em, peace expired.
Hells bells – what are enemies for?
Correct: erect, incessant war
.
Yes, as any moron could readily observe, the Pentagon and its attendant war machine have a hard-on for continued conflict.
Thus mired and tired,
would Chump say you’re fired”?